recently separated from wife.... ??

[Cobra_X30]

Hey just a clarification.

 

STBX, That stands for Stupid B!tch Ex Wife... right?

[Mike1966]

Hey just a clarification.

 

STBX, That stands for Stupid B!tch Ex Wife... right?

 

 

LOL

 

Yes.............at least that's what I'm thinking when I type it !!!

 

Ahhh...............just two more days and my divorce is final! I'm not much of a drinker but think I'll have to get a bottle of somethin' just to celebrate. PLUS, my next "welfare" payment to her will be like 1/2 of what it has been which will be great!!!!

 

I spoke to my kids last night...........they were at Walmart with their Mom and hanging out with the OM! Sheesh..........I just wasn't ready for all of that to start. My STBX can go be a $2 whore if she wants and I couldn't care less, but to have my kids around the OM, full-time it seems cause he's there every night..........that's tough. It's so hard thinking of my girls around some other guy like they are with me..............hurts pretty bad!

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

LOL

 

Yes.............at least that's what I'm thinking when I type it !!!

 

Ahhh...............just two more days and my divorce is final! I'm not much of a drinker but think I'll have to get a bottle of somethin' just to celebrate. PLUS, my next "welfare" payment to her will be like 1/2 of what it has been which will be great!!!!

 

I spoke to my kids last night...........they were at Walmart with their Mom and hanging out with the OM! Sheesh..........I just wasn't ready for all of that to start. My STBX can go be a $2 whore if she wants and I couldn't care less, but to have my kids around the OM, full-time it seems cause he's there every night..........that's tough. It's so hard thinking of my girls around some other guy like they are with me..............hurts pretty bad!

 

I know how you feel. I do not think another man should be playing 'dad' with my son.

 

See, the thing that hurts me is my son will grow up with this other man and learn to love him. I am not saying your kids wont love this other man, but it wont be like the love they are supposed to have for you. I fear my son will have the same 'fatherly' love for my wife's new man that he will for me. I do not want to share that love with no one. It makes me angry just thinking about it.

[Mike1966]

I know how you feel. I do not think another man should be playing 'dad' with my son.

 

See, the thing that hurts me is my son will grow up with this other man and learn to love him. I am not saying your kids wont love this other man, but it wont be like the love they are supposed to have for you. I fear my son will have the same 'fatherly' love for my wife's new man that he will for me. I do not want to share that love with no one. It makes me angry just thinking about it.

 

Hang in there LMDG. I feel exactly the same way but just remember, YOU will be the only Dad he EVER has.......period. No matter who your WW ends up with.

 

In my situation..............the I hear the guy is a pretty good guy and my kids like him. Couple that with the fact that my kids and I's relationship has been strained for some reason through the divorce and it doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy about things.

 

You (and I) need to just be a stable source of love for our kids. In my case, my wife is a creature of change and always has been. Everything in that woman's life has to change, she's never satisfied with the status quo. I know in the end my kids will always love me and want to be with me because I'm not like that, I'm stable and offer them love, stability and comfort.....................they can always count on me.

[Mz. Pixie]

Sheesh..........I just wasn't ready for all of that to start.

 

I remember once my exh remarried- the first time his wife painted my daughters fingernails I thought I would pass out from grief. That's MY job I wanted to scream, but I couldn't.

 

I just take solace that I'm the only mom the two of them are ever going to have. They have both told me that no one would ever take my place and I have just to accept it, although sometimes it hurts when I hear of her doing something I'd like to be doing!

[Darth Vader]

LOL

 

Yes.............at least that's what I'm thinking when I type it !!!

 

Ahhh...............just two more days and my divorce is final! I'm not much of a drinker but think I'll have to get a bottle of somethin' just to celebrate. PLUS, my next "welfare" payment to her will be like 1/2 of what it has been which will be great!!!!

 

I spoke to my kids last night...........they were at Walmart with their Mom and hanging out with the OM! Sheesh..........I just wasn't ready for all of that to start. My STBX can go be a $2 whore if she wants and I couldn't care less, but to have my kids around the OM, full-time it seems cause he's there every night..........that's tough. It's so hard thinking of my girls around some other guy like they are with me..............hurts pretty bad!

 

It just sounds like your STBXW is just trying to get under your skin so you'll get mad and she'll have a reason to suck more dollars out of your pocket! When the Divorce is final, call her on the exposing them to OM!

 

After all she agreed to it! What a LIAR! But in the mean time check with the lawyer to make sure that he does his job right! Remember, two more days before its final! By the way, I'd have your lawyer check up on the settlement throughly one last time, just to be sure she's not trying to slip something in, better safe than sorry! Meanwhile, back at the ranch, be sure you're busy with your life, stay away, you're not there, you moved, "something suddenly came up"(Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!) My point is, your not available, except about the children!

[Mike1966]

Well........

 

Not what I expected to happen when I started my journey here but I am finally divorced. Went to court this morning, I was the petitioner so my XWF didn't have to show up..................though she threatened to when I told her I was going to use the full 60 days allowed to me to pay my cash settlement to her !

 

Early on, I really, really hoped to reconcile. At this point, I can honestly say I would not take her back.......................at least not unless she would admit to the things she did to contribute to our demise and change many things that I don't think she ever can. Other than just generally being immature, her biggest issue (IMO) was with money. I look back now and realize how she slowly spent me into oblivion over the years.

 

It's funny because I was talkin to the new girlfriend last night about it, I make more than she and her X did combined but they afforded a nice home, nice vehicles, vacations.............all because they lived on a budget..........something foreign to my XWF. I remember our checking account always being drained. Now, after living on much less on my own for awhile, I ALWAYS have more than enough and save plenty. It REALLY, REALLY makes me feel good.

 

Anyway, thanks again to so many of you here of have offered helps and support through the process. You have helped me better understand many things and really provided valuable input when needed.

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

Well........

 

Not what I expected to happen when I started my journey here but I am finally divorced. Went to court this morning, I was the petitioner so my XWF didn't have to show up..................though she threatened to when I told her I was going to use the full 60 days allowed to me to pay my cash settlement to her !

 

Early on, I really, really hoped to reconcile. At this point, I can honestly say I would not take her back.......................at least not unless she would admit to the things she did to contribute to our demise and change many things that I don't think she ever can. Other than just generally being immature, her biggest issue (IMO) was with money. I look back now and realize how she slowly spent me into oblivion over the years.

 

It's funny because I was talkin to the new girlfriend last night about it, I make more than she and her X did combined but they afforded a nice home, nice vehicles, vacations.............all because they lived on a budget..........something foreign to my XWF. I remember our checking account always being drained. Now, after living on much less on my own for awhile, I ALWAYS have more than enough and save plenty. It REALLY, REALLY makes me feel good.

 

Anyway, thanks again to so many of you here of have offered helps and support through the process. You have helped me better understand many things and really provided valuable input when needed.

 

I hope everything is good for you.

 

I have not been served with papers yet even though my wife has filed over 2 weeks ago. In a way, I am looking forward to it. I dont like having to look for another woman in my life. I thought I had found the one and only with my soon to be ex. Anyways, good luck to you and yours.

[Darth Vader]

Well........

 

Not what I expected to happen when I started my journey here but I am finally divorced. Went to court this morning, I was the petitioner so my XWF didn't have to show up..................though she threatened to when I told her I was going to use the full 60 days allowed to me to pay my cash settlement to her !

 

Early on, I really, really hoped to reconcile. At this point, I can honestly say I would not take her back.......................at least not unless she would admit to the things she did to contribute to our demise and change many things that I don't think she ever can. Other than just generally being immature, her biggest issue (IMO) was with money. I look back now and realize how she slowly spent me into oblivion over the years.

 

It's funny because I was talkin to the new girlfriend last night about it, I make more than she and her X did combined but they afforded a nice home, nice vehicles, vacations.............all because they lived on a budget..........something foreign to my XWF. I remember our checking account always being drained. Now, after living on much less on my own for awhile, I ALWAYS have more than enough and save plenty. It REALLY, REALLY makes me feel good.

 

Anyway, thanks again to so many of you here of have offered helps and support through the process. You have helped me better understand many things and really provided valuable input when needed.

 

 

YAY! MIKE MAN! Have you thought about getting one of those 42" or greater LCD TVS hooked up with surround sound and all?

 

Now that that Femanazi:p, I mean your Ex-wife is outta the picture, have you thought of calling her on exposing the children to the OM so soon!? As long as everything is legal and Locked on the divorce thing.

[PWSX3]

I know this isn't the way you wanted it in the beginning, but sometimes things happen for a reason & they do turn out better then we think they should have.

 

I just hope you take it easy with that new G/F & still work on yourself. I still believe that you need to be happy with yourself.

Someone told me something that really makes since to me. Someone in your life is not there to make you happy, but to enjoy your happiness with you.

 

I have kept & I know what you say about the G/F & I hope things go well there as well.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Well........

 

Not what I expected to happen when I started my journey here but I am finally divorced. Went to court this morning, I was the petitioner so my XWF didn't have to show up..................though she threatened to when I told her I was going to use the full 60 days allowed to me to pay my cash settlement to her !

 

Early on, I really, really hoped to reconcile. At this point, I can honestly say I would not take her back.......................at least not unless she would admit to the things she did to contribute to our demise and change many things that I don't think she ever can. Other than just generally being immature, her biggest issue (IMO) was with money. I look back now and realize how she slowly spent me into oblivion over the years.

 

It's funny because I was talkin to the new girlfriend last night about it, I make more than she and her X did combined but they afforded a nice home, nice vehicles, vacations.............all because they lived on a budget..........something foreign to my XWF. I remember our checking account always being drained. Now, after living on much less on my own for awhile, I ALWAYS have more than enough and save plenty. It REALLY, REALLY makes me feel good.

 

Anyway, thanks again to so many of you here of have offered helps and support through the process. You have helped me better understand many things and really provided valuable input when needed.

 

My heart is really happy for you. Trust me in some form or manner the grass isnt greener with your soon to be ex. Once the OM cheats on her she'll start looking in your direction. Dont go back when she calls for you.

 

Also teach your kids the right from wrong. Because your ex might teach them it's okay to cheat around and have affairs. Instill it in them that it is wrong.

[nitelifeguy]

Mike1966,

I've spent parts of the day following your journey from beginning to end..and I can truly say that you tried everything,you prayed everyday,you kept your spirits up and you fought for everything that you worked for and loved for...Hats off to you for the courage to survive intact through all of the pain,sleepless nights and psychological tourture you endured throughout this crisis...Your story is EXACTLY my story..I am going through right now what you just closed the book on..But the difference is that I am living a recurring nightmare...Your story here is happening to me for the second time...Even though I feel that i'm more equipped to handle this current assault than the one three years ago..I still feel the exact same pain,confusion,hopelessness,worthlessness and daily sadness that is a struggle in the effort to survive and give daily strength to a broken hearted soul....

 

Live well friend and pray for those in need...

[Mike1966]

YAY! MIKE MAN! Have you thought about getting one of those 42" or greater LCD TVS hooked up with surround sound and all?

 

Now that that Femanazi:p, I mean your Ex-wife is outta the picture, have you thought of calling her on exposing the children to the OM so soon!? As long as everything is legal and Locked on the divorce thing.

 

LOL! Walmart here I come................42" wall-huggin LCD!!!! Haha~!

 

Good thought on calling the wife to the mat about the OM but I'm past it and don't want to look back.

 

Get this...................I had to discipline my daugters for fighting last night......swiped the cell phones (their lifeline ). Anyway, the oldest went to bed, the youngest came to apologize and to talk about "things". We had a GREAT discussion. I realize more and more how controling, manipulative and lying my XWF is. I also realize that my daughter(s) love me and some OM that is nice to them isn't going to change that....AND....that they will choose to live with me every other week no matter what my XWF my try to say.

 

Another comical moment...........well, sorta, not for my kids but personally it was satisfying so it's a good-news/bad-news kinda thing. My hunting buddy and his wife and me and the XWF would get together every few months with our kids who are friends. Well, the XWF and his wife were talking and they decided to get together with the OM coming along now instead of me. Keep in mind, these were my friends long before the XWF.....I grew up with them. Anyway, my buddy's wife made the plans, then, my buddy calls my XWF back and told her not to bother coming over as the OM (and her) weren't welcome in his house because of what she had done to me!!!! Personally satisfying, I must say, but, at the same time my kids wanted to see theirs to it does hurt................I"m gonna take'em next time we can get together.

 

I really, really feel for my kids. Though my XWF has really glossed over the whole divorce, after talking with my youngest (13) last night, it's apparent how difficult this whole thing has been for them. I guess I had a hard time with why they've been so close to their Mom since they know that I've treated them all good for so many years yet she left me anyway. It was a good talk and did help me to understand her and the situation better.

 

Peace!

[Mike1966]

I just hope you take it easy with that new G/F & still work on yourself. I still believe that you need to be happy with yourself.

Someone told me something that really makes since to me. Someone in your life is not there to make you happy, but to enjoy your happiness with you.

 

I have kept & I know what you say about the G/F & I hope things go well there as well.

 

Thanks P,

 

I do appreciate your comments. Yes, I can tell you that I think things started a little too quick with the new g/f and I hope to be able to slow them down a little without hurting her. I do want to see her, but dont' want to be so committed yet that we're spending every waking hour together...................I definitely need some time for myself and don't want to be shortchanged.

 

So true, we need to be happy and have joy regardless of life circumstances because the sh#t is just going to come our way sometimes whether we like it or not.

[Mike1966]

My heart is really happy for you. Trust me in some form or manner the grass isnt greener with your soon to be ex. Once the OM cheats on her she'll start looking in your direction. Dont go back when she calls for you.

 

Also teach your kids the right from wrong. Because your ex might teach them it's okay to cheat around and have affairs. Instill it in them that it is wrong.

 

Thanks, CB-

 

Don't worry about me, IF the XWF ever comes sniffin' around again she'll be told not to bother. This OM does seem like a decent guy, I more think he will run when he finds out what the XWF is truly like (if he does before it's too late) rather than vice versa. My XWF is a stubborn one and I doubt will ever crawl back to me..............who knows/who cares!!!!

 

Yes........I spoke to my youngest (13) last night about the divorce. Both my kids know I did everything possible to prevent it but yet in anger my daughter still said she didn't want to marry. We had a long talk and I told her about the blessings of marriage, but that you must have commitment because difficult times will come along, they always do, and commitment and the decision to love depsite feelings otherwise is what will get you through.

[Mike1966]

Mike1966,

I've spent parts of the day following your journey from beginning to end..and I can truly say that you tried everything,you prayed everyday,you kept your spirits up and you fought for everything that you worked for and loved for...Hats off to you for the courage to survive intact through all of the pain,sleepless nights and psychological tourture you endured throughout this crisis...Your story is EXACTLY my story..I am going through right now what you just closed the book on..But the difference is that I am living a recurring nightmare...Your story here is happening to me for the second time...Even though I feel that i'm more equipped to handle this current assault than the one three years ago..I still feel the exact same pain,confusion,hopelessness,worthlessness and daily sadness that is a struggle in the effort to survive and give daily strength to a broken hearted soul....

 

Live well friend and pray for those in need...

 

I just prayed for you my friend. I'm sorry sorry that you're going through what I went through......again. Seriously, I wouldn't wish those feelings on my worst enemy........I really wouldn't. I've felt your pain and wish you the best.

 

Keep your faith in God and the fact that he is always there for you in lifes troubles and the storms that come our way. YOU know you will get through and be okay no matter what transpires.

 

Please post on my thread if you start your on thread and provide a link so I can follow and help if possible.

 

You're in my prayers, my friend!

[nitelifeguy]

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement Mike1966..I know this topic is 'second chances' but i'm not sure about a third chance..I'll let the thread know about updates..I'm coping a bit better day by day but it hasn't been easy in any stretch of the imagination..

 

Best wishes and live well...

[Mike1966]

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement Mike1966..I know this topic is 'second chances' but i'm not sure about a third chance..I'll let the thread know about updates..I'm coping a bit better day by day but it hasn't been easy in any stretch of the imagination..

 

Best wishes and live well...

 

Thanks.

 

I encourage you to start a thread to share your experience. Sometimes, it helps to organize your thoughts about your experience and share them, it did with me anyway. Plus, your story may be a big help to someone else!

 

Take care of yourself.

[confuzd]

good luck to you mike, keep sharing and offering your advice, I will do the same from time to time.

 

I will always try to offer a positive perspective of hope and encouragment.

 

I do wish you the best, and hope you find happiness.

 

I not sure if this statement is appropriate, but if you have any anger I would recommend you letting it go, and just think about everything with a clear mind.

 

One day all the anger will subside, and you will have to reflect.

 

Good luck to you, and keep us posted.

[Darth Vader]

Hey Mike! Did you get that LCD TV and surround sound yet? Just curious!

[bestadvisor]

Mike, do you sense any regret from your wife?

[nitelifeguy]

Hello all...

 

I started my new thread on my situation and you can read it here...

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1417822#post1417822

 

Thanks for the support

[Mike1966]

good luck to you mike, keep sharing and offering your advice, I will do the same from time to time.

 

I will always try to offer a positive perspective of hope and encouragment.

 

I do wish you the best, and hope you find happiness.

 

I not sure if this statement is appropriate, but if you have any anger I would recommend you letting it go, and just think about everything with a clear mind.

 

One day all the anger will subside, and you will have to reflect.

 

Good luck to you, and keep us posted.

 

 

Hello everyone,

 

I've been away for awhile but thought I'd pop back in for an update.

 

I've now been divorced for almost one month. As for my ex and I's relationship, it is strained to say the least. I try to talk with her about putting our kids first which is number 1 for me, and she does sometimes, but she's so emotion-driven that we cannot discuss sensitive issues without her blowing up and picking fights.................then I get an apologetic email in a day or two when she thinks it over.

 

Finally, in the last few weeks, my kids have really come around and we seem to be relating to each other as we once did. As a matter of fact, the last couple of weeks I've had the kids, they miss me so much they don't want to go back to their Mom's. A word to the wise for anyone reading this thread............WHETHER OR NOT YOU THINK SO, DIVORCE WILL BE HARD ON YOUR KIDS..................I get so much advice about how kids adjust, they adapt...etc, yes, that's true............but there's no denying they would rather things have worked out between their parents. This past Thanksgiving, it was my week with our kids and I had them for Thanksgiving, too, it was the first holiday without us together and it was VERY HARD for my girls...................I have to fight being bitter with my ex over this because she chose the path we are now on.

 

I was dating a girl in particular for awhile, about a month I think, and i really did like her, but started to feel smothered. I'm still dating, but at this point I'm very honest with the girls I date that I may eventually want a serious relationship but for now I'm going to be dating around. The first girl I dated, as it turns out, was far to insecure and needy for me. With things as they are with my kids and still dealing with my ex about things, I get pulled in many directions and the last thing I want in my life right now is someone wanting to be in touch with me 24/7.

 

Though I have emotionally moved on from my wife, in that I mean i don't "feel" love for her anymore and am not drawn to her, the last couple of months it has been hard dealing with the aftermath. I sense it will be some time before there is continuity in the "relationship" my ex and I will have. One of the difficult things for her to accept is that, now that we are divorced, I no longer have to do what she tells me, this is hard for her as she was used to getting her way, big time and really can't deal with it when she doesn't. It's sad because she wears her emotions on her sleeve and my kids see it when they are with her...............they are so concerned with her being happy because it's hell when she's not.

 

Not much else for now. Thank you to everyone for your support and guidence when I was going through the tough times. Man, the first few months were complete emotional hell...............I don't know what I'd have done without family, friends and being able to post, vent and receive help here........................really, thanks a mil!

 

Take care,

 

Mike

[Mike1966]

Mike, do you sense any regret from your wife?

 

That's a good question, BA. Yes, at times I think I do, but she is likely to proud and stubborn to admit it. Her mother did the same thing to her Dad after 27 yrs of marriage, during my first year of marriage. She's been remarried for 14 years to the guy she was cheating with on my ex-father-in-law................I know she's not happy but she sooner take a bullit than admit it.

 

My wife COMPLETELY blames me for any and all marital problems and has been in denial from day one. I honestly don't see that changing. You know, one of the funniest things about the guy she's seeing...............................all the this she had issues with me about are amplified in him..............................he hunts and is a much, much more avid hunter than I ever was, he's very close to his family and will never move from the area - my wife had issues with my mother and wanted me to move south ever since we've been married and said she will end up there......................these are just a couple of the many.

 

Anyway.........that's it for now!