corazoncito Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 This whole incident is bad. But it's good to find these things out now, before you made any kind of long-term decisions based on being in a relationship with him. I also agree with the pp that said this is a lame exit strategy on his part. He's likely trying to force you to break up with him because he's too cowardly to do it himself and he doesn't want to be the "bad guy". Don't worry about the "bad guy" label. Only an immature idiot looks at relationships as black and white, good guy and bad guy. You're a mature adult making the decision that is best for you and your self-respect. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 Yeah! Some go solely for the weed. A few even go for the culture! *gasp!* Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 You don't find it wrong that years before he told her that he wanted her to go with him and to start saving up for it? Now at the last minute he decides that he doesn't want her to go? That is just plain wrong and selfish. YEARS ago when they first started dating, you mean? I'm an avid international traveler, so I'm always "talking" and wistfully daydreaming out loud about all the places I want to go, taking trips with people, when to go, where to go, etc. - and I do this with friends and new guys I'm dating. It's never meant like something absolutely serious or committed...it's almost fantasy talk. "Hey, it would be so cool if we could all go to XYZ place when school's out (3 years from now)? If you pay your way, you could, like, totally come dude." See what I mean? So what's so terrible about him changing his mind? I have no problems with him changing his mind, or going on this trip alone. What I take issue with is HOW he COMMUNICATED (er, failed to) his decisions in this regard to her. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 So Im back ... Seems like once you visit LS; though the postings can lessen you can never really leave. Hotel California style lol actually there are a handful of ex-LSers who left a few years ago and never came back (as far as I know).... so you CAN check out and leave for good Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted July 2, 2007 Author Share Posted July 2, 2007 After everything..he texts me saying that him going to Amsterdam with his guy friends for a few weeks is the equivalent to me going out to a nightclub with my girl friends:eek:. LMAO really now? He is being a jerk and he is trying to flip this on me like I am the crazy one. YEARS ago when they first started dating, you mean? I'm an avid international traveler, so I'm always "talking" and wistfully daydreaming out loud about all the places I want to go, taking trips with people, when to go, where to go, etc. - and I do this with friends and new guys I'm dating. It's never meant like something absolutely serious or committed...it's almost fantasy talk. "Hey, it would be so cool if we could all go to XYZ place when school's out (3 years from now)? If you pay your way, you could, like, totally come dude." See what I mean? So what's so terrible about him changing his mind? see the Spain thing might have been him talking out loud during our first year dating.. but the amsterdam thing we had made a mutual agreement to go together him and I and he instructed me to save money. Then he said I couldnt go a year later. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 see the Spain thing might have been him talking out loud during our first year dating.. but the amsterdam thing we had made a mutual agreement to go together him and I and he instructed me to save money. Then he said I couldnt go a year later. That is what I was referring to above. EC, from the pictures I have seen of you, I am pretty sure that you can do much better than what you have now. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 EC, from the pictures I have seen of you, I am pretty sure that you can do much better than what you have now. *Understatement of the year. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 *Understatement of the year. I'm not here to kiss anyone's as$. I just call it how I see it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 Oh man! Take his behavior as a sign that he is trying to find a way out. Or trying to make reason for you to find a way out. I'd walk and let him have his fun. If he could do this to you now who knows what he could be capable of if you two had gotten married. However who knows what can happen once he leaves or when he gets back. People are quirky! Very well spoken ! I think that a year ago he felt like he wanted you along but today he wants to party with the boys and you stay home. Simply put : He wants out and is giving you a great reason to get pissed beyond belief and break up with him. I don't think he cares one way or another about you anymore and being gone 6 months is * no big deal * to him. Sorry but it seems to be so.... Link to post Share on other sites
cutegirl Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 uhh, guys going to Amsterdam with no gf's tagging along : hooker banging galore When I hear about guys going to places like Amsterdam, Thailand, Vietnam or any Eastern Euro country that's the first thing I think about and red flags go up in my mind. Yes, I'm sure some people go to A'dam for the weed and culture and whatever, but I really think that he doesn't want you to go come along because he thinks it will spoil his fun. I bet for most guys banging hookers in Amsterdam is probably one of the highlights of their sexual lives or something, I'm sure he's been anticipating this one for awhile. For most guys going to Amsterdam is about the hookers, if they are going with their gf's I might believe that it could be for the experience, but a GROUP of guys? That's a euro sex adventure waiting to happen. Especially if he's in a group there's going to be PEER PRESSURE. If all his friends are going to bang whores and egg him on, he's gonna do it in order to look cool and manly in front of his friends. Guys do not want to look like pussies, and if he refuses his friends will bag on him. I don't know what you should do to be honest but I don't think he has good intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
VinaAmez Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 After everything..he texts me saying that him going to Amsterdam with his guy friends for a few weeks is the equivalent to me going out to a nightclub with my girl friends:eek:. LMAO really now? Um not it's not. He should not have told you to save your money and then turn around and say you can't go. That's so mean. EC, he's never mentioned to you other than that one time he was thinking about going to Spain? Something this important should have been mentioned more than once. It's something that you both should have talked about other then him mentioning it 3 years ago. Going away for 6 months is a long time to be apart. Especially since you've been together that long. Sounds like your communcation lines are not that great. He honestly thinks he is 'up there' and I am below. He actually thinks I would get jealous at the fact that his parents can afford to send him off and mines cannot. Just the fact that he views me this way has really hurt me. The fact he believes I would ever be envious of good things happening to the one I love shows he has no idea what I am about. I think he loves me but the need to be selfish and get things out of his system is too string at this age and he has no clue of reality. He has had mom and dad pay for everything and has never worked. And sadly he probably wont ever have to and so he will never understand and he will never really know what it's like to wear the shoe on the other foot. Can you stay with someone who thinks like this? Link to post Share on other sites
electric_sheep Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 I think it's kind of selfish too. Not to mention, I would be highly suspicious of why he wants to go to Amsterdam with just his guy friends all of a sudden. I mean ****, this is Amsterdam we are talking about. Barcelona, maybe, but Amsterdam? Link to post Share on other sites
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