2sunny Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 well - i have input on this first hand - unfortunately... after 20 yrs of marriage... WE - my stbxh, me - and our best friends had a tendency to travel together to amazing places every year - sometimes with and without all of our boys (5 total). we always had gatherings and spents thousands of hours at the baseball fields. always supported our kids accomplishments - and had many great meals together. when my H cheated (again) they helped me like i could never expect anyone to. it was so sad for all of us - my best friend and her husband especially cried for weeks on end - and expressed that they felt like they were getting divorced from us as well as me and my husband. it is hard all the way around when a family has to disassemble. it affects everyone that you've ever dealt with... honestly it does. btw - my friends are still MY best friends and not my xH's. they would lay down there life for me - and pretty much have done that in the past few years. it sucks getting divorced though! DON'T CHEAT! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted June 27, 2007 Author Share Posted June 27, 2007 I guess that seeing my neigbor across the street go through a nasty divorce is causing concern in my marriage. Him and his wife were so in love at first them all of a sudden somebody fliped a switch in her and she was this resentful cheating woman that blamed him for everything she was unhapppy with. This happens all the time with women and I am scared of coming home one day and wondering what the hell happened to my wife. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 honey - you have a lot of things to be happy - and thankful for! nobody just has a switch that turns off... don't get caught up in your neighbors situation if you think it will be detrimental to your marriage. be as good to your wife as you would want her to be to you - and you will have a very happy life with a lot of good times ahead of you! xo Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Woggle, why do you incessantly state that bad things in a relationship ONLY happen because of women? Geez! My ex was a selfish, self serving a-hole who refused to grow up. As for OTHER relationships that are toxic, I find they only highlight and more obviously point out the GOOD parts of my relationship with my boyfriend. He is the best! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted June 27, 2007 Author Share Posted June 27, 2007 Woggle, why do you incessantly state that bad things in a relationship ONLY happen because of women? Geez! My ex was a selfish, self serving a-hole who refused to grow up. As for OTHER relationships that are toxic, I find they only highlight and more obviously point out the GOOD parts of my relationship with my boyfriend. He is the best! I know there are jerky men out there as evidenced by a friend of my wife who treated her husband like gold only to have him cheat on her with a britney spears clone. I just see so many men I know dealing with the same issues over and over again. It almost seems like an epidemic these days and I am trying to avoid having our marriage infected with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 It almost seems like an epidemic these days and I am trying to avoid having our marriage infected with it. Don't cheat, romace your wife every day, be a good communicator and especially a good listener and get rid of the stinkin' thinkin'. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 i agree with c=lion when my best friends realized that every time they talked about us they both ended up being overwhelmed and upset - i told them that they were no longer going to discuss my situation... solved the problem. when we are together now - it is always happy i didn't want to be the reason why they felt sad go gotta move forward - it helps to keep things in perspective Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 I am trying to avoid having our marriage infected with it. the only way you can "guard" against this is to pour yourself into creating a healthy marriage – one that has an open line of communication, mature outlook and doesn't allow the baggage each of you has brought to it to overwhelm the relationship. you also are going to keep noticing crappy relationships when you only tend to look for them. So instead of focusing on those horrific acts by bad wives – or problem marriages in general – start looking for a positive role model you can emulate. They do exist, and more than likely, both parties strived hard to make their marriage work. Look at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward ... look at some of the elderly couples in your neighborhood … they learned to guard their marriage from the negative crap, because they knew the kind of impact it would have on the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Missy27 Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 I know there are jerky men out there as evidenced by a friend of my wife who treated her husband like gold only to have him cheat on her with a britney spears clone. I just see so many men I know dealing with the same issues over and over again. It almost seems like an epidemic these days and I am trying to avoid having our marriage infected with it But that's just it woggle... in your efforts you are actually going to end up with the boomarang effect. You can't force something to be good or bad. Marriage included, but if you constantly will negativity, negativity will hear you calling, find you, and eventually bite you on the azz. Like Zona said, if it aint broke, dont try fixing. A little bit of work everyday and a positive outlook is worth its weight in gold. Positivity can hear just as well as negativity and I know which one I'd rather attract ~ Link to post Share on other sites
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