tallpunjab Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 Quick synopsis, my best friend's sister in law has asked me out several times and I've brushed her off or said, "I am busy that night." She is a larger girl (BBW) of European descent -aka "white"- and a sweet person, but I am only attracted to and date North Indian(India) women. So, any ideas on how I can handle this without making it look as if I have a problem with her weight, which I do not, and avoid disclosing my preference for only dating within my community?
Pyro Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 Just say that you are not interested in dating at the present time.
Star Gazer Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 Why don't you want to disclose your preferance to only date within your own ethnic community?
Author tallpunjab Posted June 10, 2007 Author Posted June 10, 2007 I have. Also, I told her I am dating someone but she knows I am lying thanks of my best friend who wants to see us get together. I am reluctant to disclose my preference because I am afraid it might cause friction between my friend and I
Pyro Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 I have. Also, I told her I am dating someone but she knows I am lying thanks of my best friend who wants to see us get together. I am reluctant to disclose my preference because I am afraid it might cause friction between my friend and I Thats not much of a friend IMO. Just tell her that she is not your type. I am not sure if there is a way to turn someone down tactfully.
johan Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 There is no way to tell someone that you aren't interested in them and have them bounce off happily, feeling as if you've paid them a huge compliment. It's rejection, and that can be painful no matter how the message is delivered. I think the best approach is to be honest and simple. So if you end up having to tell her something, just tell her you're not interested in her that way. And don't offer friendship as a consolation, unless you really want to be her friend, which I doubt you do. I would avoid providing any more explanation about it, even if pressed.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Oh, this is interesting. A topic close to my heart To the OP: I'd suggest you nudge this "European descent a.k.a white" girl onto Alphamale, a very respected, long-time poster on these forums. He's into Caucasian women anyway - and if she's into Indian men, she'll absolutely dig Alphamale. But wait, he actually might have a problem with her weight. Oh-oh. Sorry. Any thoughts, Alpha?
alphamale Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 So, any ideas on how I can handle this without making it look as if I have a problem with her weight, which I do not, and avoid disclosing my preference for only dating within my community? From one punjabi to another....it's perfectly acceptable to tell people you only date within your race or religion (or both).... But wait, he actually might have a problem with her weight. Oh-oh. Sorry. Any thoughts, Alpha? ahhh...no thanx
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 ahhh...no thanx Ahahahahhhaaa. *Snort* You chicken, Alpha?! On the topic: I don't think it's such a big deal that you should want to date only within your race. I see it all the time - and I see it even more in the US. To a large extent, African Americans date within their race, and so do Caucasians. Well, actually, Caucasian men tend to be slightly more diverse in their dating preferences...but still, the more conservative their family background, the more they will stick to their own race. It's their social conditioning, you can't change it. This racial preference thing is so pervasive within the US, but I still see people being squeamish about it and trying to be politically correct. It really strikes me as funny. Actions speak louder than words. I've seen that mostly, white women choose only white men. And a lot of white men choose only white women, in the end. So what's the problem in telling her the truth? If nothing, sob to her about your family being extra-orthodox and not allowing you to date other races. That should work like a charm.
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