ku2008 Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 I met a girl this past week--purchased her drinks last night and ended up at the same aquarium today-heavy flirting at all times. Then we got seperated--and my group had to go to the airport. She had my contact info and such--but I did not have hers. So at the airport I was able to find her cell phone number off of a membership directory--and just sent her a simple text that I hoped her flight home was good--OH was she pissed--how did I get her number and such. I screwed up--I know it--but what this is just one example--What are the "rules" when it comes to email and text messaging in terms of how soon do your reply, what is done in text and email and what isn't. My wife and I are seperated and headed for divorce (but will remain friends)-the last time I was in this "game" it was 10 years ago--things have changed.
AriaIncognito Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 Well, i think the lesson to be learned here is, dont seem stalkerish and find out her number so you can text her. It might seem romantic, but to a woman who knows she didn't offer up her digits, it will seem creepy. Text or email is fine, as long as they give you their number. Otherwise, don't bother wasting your time.
WarriorPoet Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 "The Rules" have not changend, at least I don't think so, I was dateing at twenty and still am at thirty (gosh I'm getting old fast). Don't e-mail or text a woman who hasn't given you her info just like you wouldn't call or go to her house if she hasn't given you her number or adress. E-mail and texting may be less encroching than an actual telephone call or un-expected visit, but you have to remember that what it comes down to is that giving out that type of info is actualy telling that person "you have my persmission" to contact me via x means. Chances are you scared this woman like the above poster said. However, she may have boyfriend and she was toying around with you or she is just a flirt and never intended to contact you or anyother countless scenarios. No matter how romantic this stuff seems to us, it can be frightening, and violating to woman not to mention it could remind/ her how acessable and defensless we all are if the wrong person gets into our lives. Good luck, sorry about your div.
Author ku2008 Posted June 10, 2007 Author Posted June 10, 2007 She sent me a text when she landed--and said I was fine--just not to give her number out--which I won't--come to find out she had wanted me to ask for her number--in fact she said I had many opportunites-and that she rarely gave out her number. So I don't know where that leaves me. I'm afraid to call now--cause I am no sure where I stand. I texted her and asked if it was OK if I call, haven't hear back yet. I feel so bad that I didn't ask for her number, that I got her number the way I did and all else--I just haven't had to do this in 10 years, I'm a little chicken right now--I guess Live and Learn. Hope she replies--I'm getting tired of this texting thing--but I'm the one that started it.
Krytellan Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 I mean this nicely, but stop being a wuss. You weasled out of asking her for her number and now you're weaseling out of making a move by texting and asking permission to call or not. That really isn't an attractive quality, so she may already be turned off. But at some point, do something meaningful and with conviction. Tiptoeing around women will get you nowhere. They like men who seem confident and that act on what they want.
Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Tiptoeing around women will get you nowhere. They like men who seem confident and that act on what they want. Although I think it's creepy how you went about getting her number, I'd suggest just picking up the phone and calling her. She knows you have your number, and you're not calling. She's either going to decide (1) you're really not all that interested, and/or (2) as K said, you're a bit of a wuss. Call her.
Author ku2008 Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 Thanks for busting my nuts--I needed that--Live and learn. Fortunately I haven't chased her off yet--she did reply. I'm done texting, I call next. Thanks for the reality check
nicki Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Personally, I find it flattering if a guy goes to a bit of trouble to get my number. I wouldn't mind at all if he called. I'd like it. Texting first is okay, but calling/voice mail is much better...and yes, be confident when calling. Sheepishly ask if it's okay to call her if she hasn't given you the number. After that, assume she wants you to call until you get the signal she doesn't want you to call. If she was flirting with you, then you'd have to assume she'd want you to call in the first place.
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