Requiem Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Hello all, I'm new here. Just joined up after reading some of the fourms here trying to find some help for myself. I have been seeing this girl for the last 10 months. We are deeply inlove and all, the only problem I am haveing with this relationship is her mother. I guess you could say mothers have always kinda had it out for me, Last girl before this, her mom made her swear on the bible that she wouldnt date me... Still dunno why... Thats besides the point though. I am currently 20 years old and about to turn 21 here next month, my life that I have been forced to live has made me into a very mature person. I can honestly say that I am more mature than even her parents and they are 40. This girl is only 18, she just got out of high school last month. She plans to go to college and all, kinda had to walk her through that and convice her of herself and everything for her to go. I don't wana hurt this girl or anyone for that matter, I don't wana mess up her life. We are both pretty sure where this relationship is gona lead(Marriage) but I cannot go there just yet, I just feel that she is not gorwn enough and experianced enough of the world through her protected life to be able to really make a life for herself with me yet. We are non-sexual, My decision was because I didnt want lust geting into the way of love. Hers is because of her religon/parents. I want to move this relationship forward and progress and it seems at every turn theres a road block by her mom. I can understand alot of it and all but its geting to be a little too much for me. Basicly we cannot go anywhere in which we would be alone, moma is afraid that we gona bump dirtys. Its hard to find anything we can really do togeather anymore that dosnt cost out the rump to just be togeather. I would like to be able to just have her come over and watch some tv, hang out or what ever. maybe go for a nice relaxing trip out to the lake to get away and just be togeather. but cannot. shes not even allowed to go into my house... I can understand why she wouldnt want her to but i mean come on, I take care of my grandmother, there is always someone else here too... I got a woman that is like a motherly figure to me that helps me with my granny and another lady i hire to stay here with her where i can go out and take care of my stuff when im off on the weekends. It seems that no matter what she has to do the whole where you been, why was you there, did yall have sex and so on. I have streached beyond all means to make myself a part of this girls life and everything, and here on her end. Her mom wont let her do anything to be a part of mine. Since she cant come in the house, she hasnt even got to be around my grandmother which is a big part of my life... While she was in school there was a whole rule that she couldnt go out on weeknights and do anything because of school, perfectly understandable. but now since shes out of school, her mom is telling her no she cant go out on week nights still. That one ticked me off a bit. I have been takeing recently and geting things straighted and ready for my grandmothers depature from the world before it happens. I am seting up her arrangments which involve takeing her out of state to be barried with her husband. As much would expect for her to be able to go with me and be there for me when I need her. But what is to be expected from her side? She cannot go unless we are married. This girl, bless her heart and love her so, If she cannot go and we are not married yet. We are done. She has not been there for me a single time that I have needed her comfort since we been togeather and knowing that she might not be there later I just wana throw my hands up. There is so much more about this that I can go on and on about, I just dont know anymore if the person I am with is even being herself or if its infulental from her mother. I'm at wits end here, the last one has just been the straw that broke the camels back. I just dont know where to go from here. I dont wana come between her and her mom. I know though that if I'm around and they have a falling out then whos gona get blamed for it? Yours truely no matter what it is. My girl wants to move out and all but her mom aint giveing her the chances, she has no lisence, she aint got a job. Her mom talked her into not looking for a job and staying home and being her personal maid basicly. Her last job was working with her mom, she worked there 5 days a week and was only geting paid about 20 bucks a week... Who would let there child work there butt off and only get paid 20 bucks a week, secondly its illegal...
Green Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 u wont get blamed if she has a fight with her mother thats her decision. Shes 18 now if she doesnt just take control of her life I say just go find another girl to be with. Your not going to be able to change the mother. As long as that girl lives under that roof the mother will have the final say in all things whether it sounds rational or not. If she moves out and gets her own place things will change. But from what youve said that sounds like it may never happen
Author Requiem Posted June 9, 2007 Author Posted June 9, 2007 Thats what i was thinking, thanks for the reassurance.
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