Best revenge on a cheating spouse...

[Salicious Crumb]

is looking good.

 

No joke. Everyone here knows my story I'm sure.

Well, my wife and I got in a huge fight that she instigated....and guess what it was about....me going to the gym several times a week.

 

I guess she feels her best days are behind her and probably doesn't find herself attractive any longer...I guess thats one of the reasons she cheated no matter how many times I'd tell her how beautiful she was and showed her.

 

Anyway, she asked me..."who are you trying to look all good for". I was like WTF? I said I was doing this for me since she sure as hell wasn't going to help me with any self-esteem issues after her cheating.

 

I told her that I wasn't like her and I work out to improve myself for me and to feel good about myself. She insists that I am doing it to go out and revenge cheat on her. I assured her that even though she cheated on me that I wouldn't stoop to that level.

 

But oh is it ever sweet now that the tables are somewhat turned. She is now getting a taste of what she has dished out in the past even though I would never cheat. I believe that if I cheat on my wife I cheat on my children.

 

Anyway I told her.."doesn't feel very good when you think your spouse is f#cking around on you does it?...now you know how I feel" She started balling...it kind of felt good that she is in some pain...but bad at the same time. But the thing is...I didn't do anything to cause her this pain other than workout...geez.

 

So bottom line...if someone cheats on you and you decide to stay for whatever reason, kids...possibility of working things out...do something for yourself. I swear, if you look better than you ever had, your cheaters will be eating their hearts out of fear that you might show them what its like.

[Darth Vader]

She sounds like she's accusing you of cheating, but, she may be cheating still. Have you thought about that? Not that it matters, because we all know you'll boot her to the curb............ That comment to her may have exposed her to a little of the pain of betrayal that you have been feeling lately. She's been given no choice but to wake up, at least for that moment, don't expect that to last........

[Art_Critic]

Talk about a powder keg waiting to go off...

 

Both you and your wife need to be in MC if you are going to stay married..

Seeing/putting your wife in pain and enjoying it isn't love dude.. it is a twisted version of revenge..not worthy of someone with self respect

 

If you plan on keeping this marriage together then I would suggest a change in game plans.. revenge will tear it apart further not put it back together..

I'm not saying that you are not warranted in your anger.. but to continue to tear your family apart over revenge/anger is just as bad as her cheating

[Zona76]

If she is accusing you of cheating it does sound like some bells should be going off in your head.

 

You are not over what she has done. I feel it in your words. You stay because...just because. Not for any reasons of love. Dare I ask you why you stay? Did she at any time want out of the marriage? Or perhaps she was not getting enough attention from you?

 

You could invite her to come with you to the Gym as a guest to see how fulfilling the workouts are for you. I'm sure you could get one free session from the owner.

If you go 3 times a week you're not spending very much time with your lady are you?

[Ruby Tuesday]

This is a trick question.

 

SC would never cheat, it would be so far beneath him.

[IpAncA]

Isn't this sweet...SC, why are you and your W not in MC? It will be interesting to see how you two stay together (if you can) if you don't.

[Trialbyfire]

Ha...I understand the ironic equity in this...

 

The reality is something different. In all honesty SC, I hope you get out of that hell hole and find someone who's good for you. Good luck!

 

Btw, yesterday was a new start for me. I haven't felt this good and so free in a long time. He's finally flushed out of my system so I can move on completely. The reason I mention this is because I wanted you to know that there is hope and you can break free.

[Chapter2]

Sounds like you still really hate her. You always have sounded that way. At least you're consistent.

[outofdarkness]

yeah, I agree with this..It really throws them off, makes them suspicious and gives them alittle dose of their own med...

[Island Girl]

Didn't she cheat before you were married?

 

Either way you have some issues to deal with yourself. If you aren't in marriage counseling you should be in your own therapy program. You have dragged this crap around for a long time.

 

It seems there has been no moving past it because, for you, it is always part of your present.

 

Your post speaks volumes as to the bitterness and hatred in your heart.

 

I'm sure it comes out in your words and actions more often than you think. And if you think the children have no idea about this dynamic between you and your wife -- you'd be surprised.

 

Your relationship is unhealthy and the saddest part is it will be visited again through your children and the relationships they establish.

 

Please get help so they won't have to pay for your mistakes.

[NoIDidn't]

SC

 

You sure like kicking a person when they are down. Now you've turned it onto your W. How sad.

 

This isn't revenge, its slow torture. You even seem to enjoy it.

 

I went to the gym in the wake of my H's EA. And I was all the more ripe for some sort of A myself, but I was against re-opening that wound if for no one else but my own self. I look great too. My H jokingly, note JOKINGLY, asked me who I was looking so good for at the gym. I don't think that it means that he is still cheating. I think he honestly realized that he could lose me.

 

You have painted her as a worthless cheater. If you really want to reconcile for more than just the sakes of your kids, you need some help - quick. She doesn't deserve what you have been dishing. You really need to step off your high horse before something knocks you off.

[Great Gazoo]

I like Carrie Underwood's idea better in her song

 

 

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,

carved my name into his leather seats...

I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,

slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

 

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Salacious is not cheating on his wife, she cheated on him that's first. All he is doing is working out and feeling good about himself, Boosting his self esteem up. Does it seem cruel?? possibly, is it torture, maybe.

 

But her parenoid delusions are the cause of her own infidelity and her guilt weighing down on her head. A man can be fat, or short but can still have sex with a woman. He isnt stepping out on her he's just doing that to make himself feel better.

 

I understand exactly what he's doing, he's showing her that in the event that they split up the next chick is gonna be hotter and so is he.

 

She cheated, If she can get to a place where she exhibits true remorse for her actions and improves herself and become his wife to the point where he can move on they can have a renewed marriage.

 

But it remains I want to know how things started, did she cheat in the begining? is she still cheating? Did she leave then come back?

 

What went on, Why are you here today?

[hardcase]

Salacious is not cheating on his wife, she cheated on him that's first. All he is doing is working out and feeling good about himself, Boosting his self esteem up. Does it seem cruel?? possibly, is it torture, maybe.

 

But her parenoid delusions are the cause of her own infidelity and her guilt weighing down on her head. A man can be fat, or short but can still have sex with a woman. He isnt stepping out on her he's just doing that to make himself feel better.

 

I understand exactly what he's doing, he's showing her that in the event that they split up the next chick is gonna be hotter and so is he.

 

Thanks CB...by the way, its me under another name.

 

Well I am not working out for revenge...anyone that thinks that needs to think a little more.

 

I am doing it for me...so let me just address some of the things people have said.

 

1) I am bettering myself...the fact that SHE chose to start an argument over this is HER problem...not mine. I am not putting her through anything...think about it people...am I to stop trying to be healthy and look good because she doesn't like it?

 

She made this out to be her own revenge against her...not me. Do I think it is her getting a taste of her own medicine?...yes. But I am not doing it to piss her off...I am doing it because she sure as hell isn't going to do anything for my esteem...so I will do something for myself for a change.

 

2) Zona said: If you go 3 times a week you're not spending very much time with your lady are you?

 

I actually am going to the gym 5 days a week...but I always do it over my lunch hour. I am home every minute of every night with my family.

 

3) NoIDidn't said: "She doesn't deserve what you have been dishing"

 

Uh...just what have I been dishing? Working out? Bettering myself? I didn't start this argument over me working out...SHE DID. But when she decided to blast me over it, I blasted back....oh..I guess I shouldn't stand up for myself. She cheated...I work out...but its me that is dishing it to her?..puhlease.

 

4) Island Girl said, re: my kids...that I need to get help before my kids pay for "my mistakes"....uh..no. She cheated, not me. I am trying to deal with what she did...but for you to put this on me...well all I have to say is...LMFAO. But given your past I can see how you side with cheaters.

 

Bottom line people...all I am doing is going to the gym on my lunch hour.

THATS IT. She made this into an issue....not me.

 

Am I to stop taking care of myself because all of a sudden now she is starting to get jealous?

 

Like I said...do I find it fitting that she is now getting a taste of her own medicine?...yes, but I didn't do this to give her a taste of her own medicine...I am doing it for me.

[whichwayisup]

I'll add my 2 cents as it was brought up on another thread once before. HB vents here. Says what he feels, gets mad, upset, whatever...Venting is venting and it helps (just like joining a gym) so he doesn't go home with all this negative energy and take it out on his family.

[Art_Critic]

I'll add my 2 cents as it was brought up on another thread once before. HB vents here. Says what he feels, gets mad, upset, whatever...Venting is venting and it helps (just like joining a gym) so he doesn't go home with all this negative energy and take it out on his family.

 

In a real sense that is what LS is for..

 

Though it would be nice though to hear him talk about his wife in a positive light once in a while...

I don't think I can recall him ever mentioning something nice about his wife..

I know she isn't all that bad.. she must be a good Mom..She must have good traits that keeps him married to her as well...

[whichwayisup]

In a real sense that is what LS is for..

 

Yeah I know. I let loose all my weirdness and pent up energy on LS so I don't drive my hubby NUTS with my insane, sick and twisted mind. LOL!

[hardcase]

I'll add my 2 cents as it was brought up on another thread once before. HB vents here. Says what he feels, gets mad, upset, whatever...Venting is venting and it helps (just like joining a gym) so he doesn't go home with all this negative energy and take it out on his family.

 

Exactly right. However I could go out drinking...cheat on my wife and all that...but I think you know that isn't me.

[Tomcat33]

SC

 

What you are doing is ABUSE. You are not right in the head. I don't care what your W did years ago BEFORE you were even married but you CHOSE to stay with her now after you found out so you CHOSE to forgive her, and now all you are doing is dumping your twisted crap on her, it doesn't stop with all the abuse you put stranges through here on LS you most definitely do it to her, there is no way you can seperate what a rotten human being you are here from how you are at home. YOU ARE filled with rage and you don't know when to stop. You are the problem now, not her.

 

You think you look good coming on here making fun of how your wife looks? She gave birth to your two children for god's sake stop for a moment just stop with your anger, get it in check and do something truly positive for your relationship and for yourself, you are losing the plot. Or get the heck out, but honestly if you keep posting your crap here it only makes you look more and more pathetic by the second.

 

I think you need a good kick in the head and then she needs to leave you because clearly you are going to mentally abuse her for the rest of her life. you need help man!!! Grow up.

[hardcase]

SC

 

What you are doing is ABUSE.

 

Working out is abusing her?....err...ok:confused:

 

You are not right in the head. I don't care what your W did years ago BEFORE you were even married but you CHOSE to stay with her now after you found out so you CHOSE to forgive her, and now all you are doing is dumping your twisted crap on her

 

Uh...care to say what twisted crap that is? I don't think you know what you are talking about.

 

there is no way you can seperate what a rotten human being you are here from how you are at home.

 

Lets assume you are correct and I am a rotten human being...if that is the case...she made me that way.

 

but again, you don't know crap from apple butter.

 

YOU ARE filled with rage and you don't know when to stop. You are the problem now, not her.

 

LOL...SHE chose this fight with me about lifting weights and working out...not me. SHE brought my working out and doing something for myself up as an issue....not me.

 

You think you look good coming on here making fun of how your wife looks?

 

When did I do that? I said she doesn't look the same as she did when she was running off doing whatever, but never did I make fun of her.

Sorry, you just lied.

 

She gave birth to your two children for god's sake stop for a moment just stop with your anger, get it in check and do something truly positive for your relationship and for yourself

 

Wow...glad you said that...because I am doing something positive for myself. Out of all the years of me doing everything for my wife, and nothing for myself, for once in my life I AM doing something for myself.

 

THAT was the whole point of this thread...I am doing something for myself and she decided to pick a fight over it.

 

But you didn't read very well did you?

 

Or get the heck out, but honestly if you keep posting your crap here it only makes you look more and more pathetic by the second.

 

Damn...I sure hit a nerve here didn't I...oh wait, I forgot...you are a cheater yourself....sorry.

 

I think you need a good kick in the head and then she needs to leave you because clearly you are going to mentally abuse her for the rest of her life. you need help man!!! Grow up.

 

Like I said...SHE picked the fight over me exercising, but you didn't read that into it did you?..nah.

 

She mentally abused herself here. All I did was start working out, and she didn't like that.....how is that abuse?

[Missy27]

Do you still Love your wife SC/HC??

[Tomcat33]

Change the name, have we?

 

 

Working out is abusing her?....err...ok

 

Don't play dumb you know well enough what I mean by my comment. What you are doing to her day in day out IS absuse. you come on here sharing your exploits of how mean you are to your wife how you make her pay for what she did to you years ago, and you gloat about how it feels to make her suffer. THAT'S ABUSE buddy. If you forgave her and chose to stay with her you did it to abuse her not because you want to work things out.

 

 

 

 

Lets assume you are correct and I am a rotten human being...if that is the case...she made me that way.

 

Nobody makes you anything, what are you 6? YOU make yourself that way it's your learnt behaviour that you created yourself. You want to be permanently angry at her and you lash out and abuse her with the justification that she hurt you so now she must suffer. NO one but you chooses that.

 

but again, you don't know crap from apple butter.

 

I know abuse when I see it, you do it here with strangers you antagonize strangers and their posts and you are most definitely doing it at home to your wife. You need help. And most importantly you need to stop, you need to do it for yourself, but you'll know when you are ready to make that change.

 

 

Wow...glad you said that...because I am doing something positive for myself. Out of all the years of me doing everything for my wife, and nothing for myself, for once in my life I AM doing something for myself.

 

Working out IS positive it's great infact, you should to do it for yourself, but don't play all innocent now about how the situation went down with your argument, you were right in there fighting her and adding to her insecurities because you WANT to make her feel insecure you WANT to get payback and your revenge doesn't stop. Do you not see what you do?

You don't. You really don't.

 

Anger is fine it's ok to feel angry and cheated but this is neither healthy nor good for you. It might feel good in the instant you seek revenge but I bet you anything at all, that in the end it just makes you feel worse. I can tell, you are screaming in pain, your anger is just disguising your pain. And you know what? This pain is going to get worse each time, you are training yourself to hurt more and more and your "revenge" is counter productive to YOU. But you don't want to see it. You are creating an addiction to anger, you yourself are becoming addicted to feeling pain.

 

 

THAT was the whole point of this thread...I am doing something for myself and she decided to pick a fight over it.

 

But you didn't read very well did you?

 

I read fine SC, or whomever you are... I read just fine don't you worry.

[Chrome Barracuda]

HC,SC is working out how is that detrimental to her? He's not throwing it back in her face. Right?

 

Now she feels guilty about doing him dirty, that's why she's parenoid.

 

SC,HC has to let go of the pain and reassure her that he wouldnt cheat, two wrongs dont make a right. He knows that. He's not being emotionally abusive towards her or physically abusive. So I dont think there's anything wrong with self betterment. Now.

 

It is a form of nitpicking and nagging at her insecurities, I agree but if she isnt being remorseful or still talking to her affair partner or still loving the OM than SC has every right to feel better about himself.

 

What would you rather have, him working out at the gym or him working out and beating his wife. But SCHC I admit it is nitpicking in a way.

 

Do you reassure her in the marriage that your not leaving. The best thing to do is assuage her fears. That's the best advice.

[hardcase]

Do you still Love your wife SC/HC??

 

You know, I think I do...I just don't know. Its only been about 8 months since finding out what she has done.

 

And even though after I found out and she starts complaining about not being attractive any more, I assure her she is as beautiful now as she was years ago...and I think this is what really bothers her about the whole working out thing. I don't care if she has put on a little weight and has stretch marks....if didn't find what she did, I'd be as hot for her today as when we first met.

[hardcase]

Change the name, have we?

 

 

 

 

Don't play dumb you know well enough what I mean by my comment. What you are doing to her day in day out IS absuse.

 

And just what am I doing?...enlighten us. You can sit there and say its abuse all you want without backing it up.

 

So come on...what exactly am I doing?

 

you come on here sharing your exploits of how mean you are to your wife how you make her pay for what she did to you years ago, and you gloat about how it feels to make her suffer. THAT'S ABUSE buddy. If you forgave her and chose to stay with her you did it to abuse her not because you want to work things out.

 

How am I mean to my wife? If setting ground rules and expecting them to be followed, and expecting my wife to act like a wife and mother is mean...then so be it.

 

So again...be specific...don't say "its abuse" and not provide any details. What exactly have I done that indicates abuse?

 

Lets assume you are correct and I am a rotten human being...if that is the case...she made me that way.

 

Nobody makes you anything, what are you 6? YOU make yourself that way it's your learnt behaviour that you created yourself. You want to be permanently angry at her and you lash out and abuse her with the justification that she hurt you so now she must suffer. NO one but you chooses that.

 

Hmmm....lets see....I never use to be suspicious, angry and bitter...so you tell me...what else was it?

 

but again, you don't know crap from apple butter.

 

I know abuse when I see it, you do it here with strangers you antagonize strangers and their posts and you are most definitely doing it at home to your wife. You need help. And most importantly you need to stop, you need to do it for yourself, but you'll know when you are ready to make that change.

 

Again, you throw a word out like abuse because it sounds good. Yet you do not provide any examples of EXACTLY how I supposedly am abusing her.

 

Wow...glad you said that...because I am doing something positive for myself. Out of all the years of me doing everything for my wife, and nothing for myself, for once in my life I AM doing something for myself.

 

Working out IS positive it's great infact, you should to do it for yourself, but don't play all innocent now about how the situation went down with your argument, you were right in there fighting her and adding to her insecurities because you WANT to make her feel insecure you WANT to get payback and your revenge doesn't stop. Do you not see what you do?

You don't. You really don't.

 

Uh...again, you can't read...I didn't pick a fight with her over me working out...SHE did....got it now?

 

As far as making her insecure...even though I could give her a really big taste of her own medicine, I even said in my post, I assure her that cheating will never enter my mind. She knows I will never cheat and that isn't the kind of person I am....I even told her this in my argument....but I guess you just glossed over that didn't ya?

 

Anger is fine it's ok to feel angry and cheated but this is neither healthy nor good for you.

 

What is healthy for me is taking care of my body and not expecting my wife to start a fight about it...she has nothing to say about me doing something for myself.

 

It might feel good in the instant you seek revenge but I bet you anything at all, that in the end it just makes you feel worse.

 

Well that shows that you didn't read very well...I said it was fitting on one hand, but I felt bad on the other.

 

I can tell, you are screaming in pain, your anger is just disguising your pain. And you know what? This pain is going to get worse each time, you are training yourself to hurt more and more and your "revenge" is counter productive to YOU.

 

Again...the revenge was an unintended byproduct of my working out. Do you really believe I am working out to get revenge? She made this her own revenge all on her own. She started the fight about it, not me.

 

THAT was the whole point of this thread...I am doing something for myself and she decided to pick a fight over it.

 

But you didn't read very well did you?

 

I read fine SC, or whomever you are... I read just fine don't you worry.

 

Obviously not.