Ally Boo Posted December 31, 2002 Share Posted December 31, 2002 Hey Everybody...I'm just wondering about your opinions.... How long do you think it takes to actually fall in love? How much time is enough time to know that you are in love? Is there such a thing as just "knowing?" Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 31, 2002 Share Posted December 31, 2002 good question, Ally. my theory about love is that it's timeless, with no beginning and no end, just there. Kinda like your heart recognizes the other person's heart, regardless of who it is. I've met a lot of friends that way, just people who I "clicked" with, and they're different ages and genders. And I knew that my husband was the one because it just felt like a sure thing, something I'd never felt with anyone, even though sometimes I just want to pinch his head off. Somewhere -- I can't remember where just at the moment, but I think it was an interview -- someone had made the comment about knowing a person by the cut of his coat and the smell of his cologne, and that stuck in my mind. I think you just innately know, and it's not cluttered with drama or games, like "being in love" with someone. It's just there, simple and real. not very eloquently said, but I think love is mostly visceral .... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 31, 2002 Share Posted December 31, 2002 1. How long do you think it takes to actually fall in love? That varies between different people. But to actually fall into a healthy love where there is caring, respect and passion, I would think it would take at least three to six months minimum. A lot of people mistake infatuation for love. Infatuation will give you the same identical feelings as being in love and you can become infatuated rather quickly. Yes, infatuation can evolve into love over a period of time as you get to know somebody. You can also fall in deep love with somebody you may have been repulsed by at first by gaining feelings for them as you gain knowledge of their character and good qualities. You can also fall deeply in love with someone you have known for a very long time but never thought of in terms of loving them. Then, one day, it occurs to you that you are developing feelings for them...out of nowhere. 2. How much time is enough time to know that you are in love? Refer to the answers to questions 1 and 3. 3. Is there such a thing as just "knowing?" Oh, yes. You won't have to ask a soul or post a message on an Internet forum. You won't be able to think about anything else...you will be totally preoccupied with your love...and usually shut out everything else in your life for a while. Of course, some fall differently than others but each person will have no doubt when they are in love. Next time you're in a bookstore, pick up a copy of "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran. It's a very old book but always in the bookstores. Look in the index for the four pages on "Love" and read them. It'll take you only a few minutes and you'll have all the answers you seek. Very sadly, there are some humans who feel they have never fallen in love....some are quite old. I find that really sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ally Boo Posted December 31, 2002 Author Share Posted December 31, 2002 Is it like when every relationship you've been in is kinda stressful...maybe good, but not with total peace. And when you find that peace...you know that it's the real thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 31, 2002 Share Posted December 31, 2002 YOU ASK: "Is it like when every relationship you've been in is kinda stressful...maybe good, but not with total peace. And when you find that peace...you know that it's the real thing?" Maybe just a tiny bit. Love is a heart thing...not a peace thing. Love is felt in the heart. You can find a lot of great friendships where you feel peace. But when you're in love, you're heart is abuzz...and your life doesn't get a lot of peace for a while. Of course, after a time, yes...then peace can be part of the equation. But that peaceful feeling is only a tiny part of the initial part of falling in love. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted December 31, 2002 Share Posted December 31, 2002 Well for me I knew the day we met, that he was the one. I don't know if that's what falling in love is like for others. It wasn't lust or passion for us. We just sat across a table and talked for hours and hours. He took my hand when he walked me back to my car later and leaned in to kiss me. I had the car door open and between us! He asked to see me again and I had no doubt that we would see each other. When I got back to my apartment my roommate (also my mom) asked me how it went and I told her that if I ever got married he would be the one. I just *knew* it and there is no way to explain it. That was a couple decades ago. We didn't get married right away - we dated for two years to work out the compatibility. I think that a couple of years is needed to adjust and work through conflicting items (where to live, whose family to have Thanksgiving dinner with, separate or joint accounts, who makes what decisions, etc.) but to me that is just planning and has nothing to do with being in love or loving someone. But that doesn't mean that someone can't fall in love with a person they've known for many years. It's different for everyone. I think the old adage "If in doubt -- don't" is kinda true for falling in love too. "If you don't know if you are in love or not, then you are not" Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Posted January 1, 2003 Board of Directors Share Posted January 1, 2003 Originally posted by Tony Next time you're in a bookstore, pick up a copy of "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran. It's a very old book but always in the bookstores. Look in the index for the four pages on "Love" and read them. It'll take you only a few minutes and you'll have all the answers you seek. Alternatively, you may read the portion of The Prophet on love here or read the entire collection and some information about Kahlil Gibran here. Best wishes, Paul Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 Oh, Paul....the Gibran estate deserves the money....give them a break!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 I was friends with my man before we got in a relationship. This allowed the process of falling in love, or loving him as a partner alot easier. From when I met him to when I fell in love would of been no more than 5mths. We were a couple for nearly one month before I told him I loved him. The love I had then is nothing compared to what i have now, and I hope that continues to be the case, Link to post Share on other sites
Confused610 Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 It's defenitly easy to hate someone no doubt about that...and I believe that hate and love are the complete opposite , but so similiar in its very own ways. Althought I am not married, I believe the partner I am currently with is "the one" . We met actually on the 'net and a 4-5 days later we met, and every since then we just can't stop seeing eachother(year later)...we talk about everything, like if we get in a fight afterwards we talk about what we did wrong and how it upset me and how it upset him , things like that. We talk about our feelings, we like the same things, we do the same things..sometimes we even finnish eachothers sentences. Does that ring the red flag as a soul mate for you guys? lol Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 Sounds like you're on the right medication this time!!! Congratulations on such a wonderful relationship. The kind you described is rare! Link to post Share on other sites
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