Old Europe is my hero

[Guest]

I have spent the last several hours reading and rereading Old Europe's story and advice to others....I have found it compelling.... riveting, not to mention encouraging in my case.

 

As I now struggle with my own affair that has lasted around a year and a half, and find that we have reached a point where we our on this endless merry go round of indecision(on his part), confusion and conflict. We can no longer grow or truly survive this way....but seemingly somehow amidst all of it, are able to find a place called "love" and keep bumbling along...because of the love...with no clear definition of us.

 

I know I have allowed this and have tried most recently nc, that lasted around 2 weeks....but it wasn't truly nc, as we had sparse emails and communication that of course, ended with us right back in the mire. I find that we are now in a confusing place, not really knowing where we are at, but just that we love each other and don't want to be without the other. He often has said to me many times...."I can't live without you, but know I must seperate from you, to take care of the issues with my life on my own, I just don't know how to be without you...it paralyzes me from doing anything"

 

I struggle with it as well, confused about why he needs me to be seperate from him, but respect his need. Tried it for that 2 weeks and it just ended up with us back together and him saying "I'm not fond of being seperated, not at all".

 

After reading Old Europe's story and advice, I am encouraged that NC would be the right thing....it brings it to a head so to speak, and forces action...either way. I guess I'm just trying to gain momentum and strength to be able to follow through with it.

 

I am impressed with this web site, it seems to be a place to come to for support, being the ow doesn't allow for much of that, everyone sees you as a fool for loving a mm and typically views him as a jerk that's just leading you on. No, I decided to take the risk with him, I love him dearly and know that we share quite a special love.........but I'm thinking its time for it to be tested.

 

Sorry for the length of this, it is my first post.....I would love to hear from anyone willing to talk, and ecspecially "Old Europe", and would love to share my story more from anyone willing to listen.

 

Thanks!