john1776 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Remember that nice guys finish last, jerks finish 2nd to last, & balanced guys finish first. This guide contrasts the difference between nice guys, balanced guys, & jerks. Nice guys are only useful to women as friends and no more. Jerks attract women but don't keep them. Balanced guys attract and keep the women. 1. Nice Guy: He smothers and suffocates his girlfriend through: Overcalling (calling 2 times per day or more), over-apologetic (apologizes over and over even if he has not done anything wrong), shares his deep feelings too much by telling her he's crazy about her. He spoils her with expensive gifts early in a relationship in an attempt to score brownie points. The nice guy is annoying! He does not establish guidelines and boundaries in a relationship. George Mcfly is an example of the pushover nice guy in the movie "back to the future." He fails to enforce reprecussions when a woman crosses them. This gives her the illusion that she can get away with anything. He seeks his girlfriend's approval on every decision he makes. He apologizes over his sexual desires. If he gets a new girl's phone number he'll call her right away or the very next day making him look desperate in her eyes. He has no life & gets bored easily when she's not around. If he finds her behavior unacceptable he'll have a talk with her about it in such a way that he comes across as a condescending lecturer. 2. Balanced Guy: He allows his girlfriend to live her separate life outside the relationship. He does not want to bother her or distract her from her daily duties and work. He does not call her at work unless it's an emergency. He calls once every 4-5 days under normal circumstances. He has his own fun life outside the relationship. He knows how to keep himself entertained when she's not around. He takes 1-2 days to return her calls and IMs. If she signs onlinfe after him he does not IM her first. He does not seek her approval on decisions he makes. For example if he wants to go time traveling and spend 6 months in the future or in the past he does not wait for her approval. Besides he can return to the present at the same time he departed. Doc Brown and Marty Mcfly are examples of balanced guys we should be emulating in the movie "back to the future". He buys gifts on special occasions without expecting anything in return. The first date might be nothing more than a coffee or a donut. The balanced guy establishes boundaries and makes sure to enforce reprecussions when a woman crosses them. He is not a condescending lecturer when he finds her behavior unacceptable. He'll enforce reprecussions when actions rather than words. He'll admit his mistakes and make restitution but he will never use the words "I'm sorry". He does not judge people on the basis of looks or money. He knows that if a woman is not into him then no amount of money he spends on her is going to change that reality. On the other hand if she is into him then he won't have to spend a dime on her. He'll spend more than that because he wants to not because he has to. 3. Jerk guy: He is too obsessed with himself to have any real relationship with a woman. He sees woman as a convenience. He does not care to be involved in her real life. He will not give her emotional support when she needs it. He uses her for sex or money. He rarely calls her. He rarely returns her calls. He rarely gives. Even if it's her birthday she'll be lucky if she gets an e-mail greeting card from him. He's a real cheapskate with money. He might be filthy rich and still refuse to buy gifts for her. Biff Tannen in that same movie "back to the future" is an example of the jerk. Jerks are not happy people. They lack confidence much like the nice guys lack but their lack of confidence is manifested through arrogance. The arrogance is a way to cover up for lack of confidence. Jerks are unforgiving and seek revenge instead of establishing boundaries and enforcing reprecussions. He might dump his girlfriend right away when she unintentionally says so mething that he takes offense to. He never admits his wrongs. He always makes excuses for his faults. He might be alcoholic or have a criminal record. He might be emotionally or physically abusive. He might be addicted to cheating on women. He does not like to be exclusive. He'll take his girlfriend for granted.
Tony T Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Very interesting. Is this original material which you wrote yourself or did somebody else write it? I don't know but it seems like I've seen this before.........
Maria33 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 I like the balanced guy and would like to find one. I liked your "Back to the Future" references. But, you are dating yourself you know. You must at least be in your 30's. Am I right? These ideas could also go for women. I'm sure that's what men would like women to be also.
Outcast Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 There have been roughly umpty-nine kazillion posts about how to get women by single guys on LS. Apparently the married men keep their 'secrets' (which seem to work) to themselves:lmao:
magichands Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 It's great to know that all guys fit neatly into these three categories. Are all girls sugar and spice and all things nice, or do they have categories too?
alphamale Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 let's beat the dead horse for the umpteenth time...
tinktronik Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 There have been roughly umpty-nine kazillion posts about how to get women by single guys on LS. Apparently the married men keep their 'secrets' (which seem to work) to themselves:lmao: The married men know how to hide their snails and puppy-dog tails.
johan Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Good post, John! Don't listen to all those nattering nabobs. You keep posting your guides, and we'll keep reading them!
Walk Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Keep posting so that all those sheep out there can follow along!! Go with the herd. Maybe you could write a post about how to shut off concious thinking so that a guy could better follow these guides. Do so with a route memorization, and fit himself into a cookie cutter mold. Could you do one on how to talk too? Or what to like and dislike? I'm sure some of these guys would appreciate that too. So... how are you and your gf doing John?
Walk Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 It's great to know that all guys fit neatly into these three categories. Are all girls sugar and spice and all things nice, or do they have categories too? I think we have 3 categories also. Slut (or to be PC, women with problems keeping legs closed.) Girl Next Door Hottie Or.... Psycho Psycho and Psycho... hahahhahaa
The slayer Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 I think you may have hit on something that generates a lot of the debate about nice guys..... I would call what you define as a "Nice Guy" a needy guy and what you define as a "balanced guy" a nice guy. Whatever you call them I'd say the balanced guy has the best chance of having a sucessfull relationship
Walk Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Isn't it copyright infringement to post something as your own without citing the source? Reads almost verbatim to Caliguys guide to being a "balanced guy". I don't mind if someone feels they have a better understanding of what it takes to make a relationship work... but if all he's going to do is regurgitate someone elses words... Well, I'm not even interested in debating the merit of the words at that point.
Yamaha Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 There have been roughly umpty-nine kazillion posts about how to get women by single guys on LS. Apparently the married men keep their 'secrets' (which seem to work) to themselves:lmao: No, Outcast. The married men are scoring with the single gals at work. Just look at the umpty-nine kazillion posts from women on life with a MM.
Outcast Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 No, Outcast. The married men are scoring with the single gals at work. Just look at the umpty-nine kazillion posts from women on life with a MM. Walk, I thought it sounded familiar. Can you post a link to Caliguy's post?
alphamale Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Reads almost verbatim to Caliguys guide to being a "balanced guy". yes, both the post and the poster
Tony T Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Walk, I thought it sounded familiar. Can you post a link to Caliguy's post? No, it's not exactly like CaliGuys post. Here's a link to it---> http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t80848/ I guess the more analysis the better. People don't have to read the revised, modified, rewritten, rehashed, refurbished versions if they don't want to.
SoleMate Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Makes a lot of sense, except that the correct labels are: 1. Doormat 2. Jerk 3. Nice guy However, I understand that the term "nice guy" is confusing to many men. Perhaps the clearest nomenclature of all is: 1. Doormat 2. Jerk 3. Balanced guy
alphamale Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Makes a lot of sense, except that the correct labels are: 1. Doormat 2. Jerk 3. Nice guy However, I understand that the term "nice guy" is confusing to many men. Perhaps the clearest nomenclature of all is: 1. Doormat 2. Jerk 3. Balanced guy No...it should be "regular guy" or "good guy" or "average joe"
Outcast Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Or maybe we could assess each individual on his own merits rather than trying to find a slot or a category for him? Sigh.
tinktronik Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Or maybe we could assess each individual on his own merits rather than trying to find a slot or a category for him? Sigh. Come on Outie , what fun would that be?
johan Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Or maybe we could assess each individual on his own merits rather than trying to find a slot or a category for him? Sigh. Right! Human nature is never an excuse, is it Outcast? For my part, I'd just like to say, why can't we all just get along? Why must there be unjustice and evil in the world? Dammit, I want world peace! The world is too complex to be comprehended or discussed without categorizing things. This thread (an the others like it) are really just attempts to establish semantics we can all use. That way we can all nod to each other knowingly when some poor guy get's labeled as a "nice guy". Or maybe we can all think, wow, I'd like to get to know that guy. Depends what definition we settle on for that term.
alphamale Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 The world is too complex to be comprehended or discussed without categorizing things. Agreed JOHAN....we are forced to pigeon-hole people and things otherwise it would take 17 days to describe all of one person's individual merits...
Outcast Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Right! Human nature is never an excuse, is it Outcast? For my part, I'd just like to say, why can't we all just get along? Why must there be unjustice and evil in the world? Dammit, I want world peace! Wretch! Agreed JOHAN....we are forced to pigeon-hole people and things otherwise it would take 17 days to describe all of one person's individual merits... And this is a bad thing because... ?
alphamale Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 And this is a bad thing because... ? because humans don't have a life-span of 10,000 years.
Walk Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 No, it's not exactly like CaliGuys post. Here's a link to it I guess the more analysis the better. People don't have to read the revised, modified, rewritten, rehashed, refurbished versions if they don't want to. You're right Tony, it isn't like Cali's. I searched all over for that post and couldn't find it... Cali's was much better, and had more wisedom. This one just makes me think of the blind leading the blind.
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