absolutely in pieces over married man

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Im 26 & ended up getting involved with a 48 year old MM recently - we actually lived together in a houseshare with 3 others - he worked away from home & needed somewhere to stay in this town during the week & went home to wife & 4 children at weekends. He moved about 1 year ago & we grew very close. I am lonely in this area with very few friends & used to spend all weekday evenings with him we had so much in common it was unbelievable. We liked the same music, food, had same humour, same opinoins, finished each others sentences etc. He became my rock - any problems I had he was there for me & really took an interest in my life. I had never really had this before as my family have never had any time for me so he did make me feel really special. We had a routine of eating dinner together, drinking wine & listening to music/watching TV & chatting. He did try it on with me couple of times in the past but I was horrified & kept saying 'no way - you are married!' even though I felt like I wanted to rip his clothes off. I guess there had been an underlying attraction between us for quite sometime. Anyway about 6 weeks ago he dropped the bombshell & told me hes moving out as his wife & kids are moving to the area to be with him. I did not see this coming at all - he told me he would be working in the area for another year or so & I just imagined he would stay living in this house & go home at weekends until he changed jobs. I did not think he would uproot his fam & move them here. At that point I realised how fond of him I really was. I cried & said how much I would miss him & that I didnt want him to go. He put his arms round me & said 'dont worry everything will be alright'...

Anyway the following night he got us loads of wine to drink & soon he started very passionately kissing me - I let it happen as it felt so good & my feelings for him were finally expressed although after a few minutes I said 'oh my word whats going on here your married & I feel terrible'.

He didnt seem to care as he then kept trying to get me into bed & I refused even though I so wanted to. Anyway every week night for the next month this kept happening - we went a little further each time although never had full sex as I felt too guilty - he kept trying though. I said I would not have intercourse until he walked. What we did felt wonderful - no man has ever been this passionate & he knew how to please me. He used to sleep in my bed & hold me all night it felt wonderfull. I was too wrapped up in my feeling for him in the end to feel guilty about his wife & kids anymore. In fact I was getting severely emotionally attached by the end of this month & he said he felt the same. I kept asking him how likely he was to leave home for me & he was always very vague & said things like 'probably not at this moment in time but I dont know what the future holds - I guess I could as loads of men do. But its my kids keeping me there.' He said he doesnt love his wife anymore although also told me he doesnt love me either as 'love is something that develops over years, so no I dont love you right now - I care deeply for you though'. I told him I love him & he said he thinks its just infatuation.

So he never gave me a straight answer although I was obvoiusly desperate to know.

Anyway the last few days have been hell for me - it started on what was supposed to be our last night together in the house I got a text from him that evening saying he'd had to go home to help the wife move the rest of the stuff up. Well I was hysterical - I had already started to prepare a lovely dinner, got myself all dolled up & everything - this last night meant alot to me. He really let me down as he knew he was going quite a few hours before he even told me - did he not think I would have the dinner on the go by then?!

Well since he moved out its just been full on heartbreak & broken promises. I have been in a terrible state, miss him terribly & its made me ill - made worse by how hes being now. My work is suffering & my boss has threatened to get rid of me if I dont improve. I have lost my appetite & have not been eating properly. My face looks a mess from the strain - puffy eyes from all the crying, dreadful acne & I just look generally drained. When not at work I just come home & go to bed crying. I dont enjoy anything anymore & feel I would rather be dead than going through this pain. Feel like Ive lost my right arm. He came over last week to give the keys back & to see me - he saw what this is doing to me as I was just sat in bed crying & told him how its making me feel & how its affecting my life. He said he thinks we may have ruined a beautiful friendship. He said of course he still wants to carry on seeing me & held me close & kissed me. He told me he would call me on Thurs/Fri & we could arrange to do something. I was sceptical whether he would call when he said as he told me he would call me a couple of days prior to seeing me & never did - he siad to me 'well its not like Im your boyfriend is it so I dont have to stick to a definate time'. He only stayed for 20 minutes & kept clock watching which was awful - I was used to having the whole evening to talk to him & now he couldnt get away quick enough to get home to the wife. He walked out with me hysterically shouting his name & crying 'dont go!' I felt so pathetic & I think it may have shocked him what a mess I was because of him. Anyway he never rang so I tried calling him & he switched his phone off on me! I couldnt believe he could be so cruel - he can see what this is doing to me so why make empty promises & give me false hope & cause me further pain by lying to me when he obvoiusly had no intention of calling. And I have no control over the situation as I cant call/text/email when I know hes at home & hes the 1 letting me down. I have also said to him many times previously that if he doesnt want to see me anymore or has no intention of ever leaving home for me then please be honest with me so I can move on with my life - so why cant he just admit it if he doesnt want me instead of leaving me hanging like this? Im still waiting for him to call & its sending me mental.

So not only do I have the pain of losing him but now hes letting me down badly. How could a guy who was my rock turn on me like this? It really is like going through hell. If he does not want to see me again cant he just be straight with me so I have closure? A few weeks ago I thought it looked promising he would leave his wife for me - now it looks doubtful he even wants me on the side!

I know its a long complicated story but any advice would be very much appreciated.

[Lookingforward]

heart - I don't know what to say, I know you're in pain but you walked into this with your eyes wide open. You knew he was M, you knew he returned to his family every weekend, and I'm sure from your post it was obvious to you that he was after a sexual fling.

 

You shouldn't be too surprised it has ended up the way it has. He has promised you nothing and that's what he has given you.

 

The best thing to do now is forget about any R with this man. I know it's hard but all you have is yourself, you have to pull yourself together, at least enough to be able to keep your job.

 

Fall apart at home when you're alone if need be, post here, especially over in the coping section, you are young with your life ahead of you, don't let some 48 year old family man who wants a piece of action on the side define who you are.

 

It could be that he didn't 'uproot his family' to move there but that it was at his W's insistence. She had to know it wasn't a good thing for him to be alone away from his family during the week if it was possible to be together.

 

From what you posted this guy was aiming to get you into bed for a long long time. Just accept it as a mistake on your part and move on to heal yourself.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

thank you very much for the advice it was really helpful

xxx

[Ariadne]

I know its a long complicated story but any advice would be very much appreciated.

 

Yikes!

 

That totally sucks, this is one of the most painful stories I've read here in a while.

 

So sorry about that.

 

Well, it seems like he was just enjoying the moments together, seeing how you had fallen for him, and giving you wine to make you relax and have sex with him.

 

I mean, I'm sure that sex must have been the most passionate ever and that's what was good about it for him and he probably enjoyed the moments you spent together.

 

But that was about it for him. Some passionate moments and cuddle.

 

Him for you meant the world! Now you are all alone, you don't have a wife and four kids, and the love that you thought you found wasn't even there.

 

And he is practically starting a new life now with his whole family and new house and so on.

 

And I can totally relate to the job part. I was once involved with a MM and had to drop out of college altogether. I'd feel like throwing up just being in a classroom. I ended up in my parents house locked up in a dark room for months. Completely useless.

 

Try and take care of yourself. I don't even know what else to tell you.

 

I know what you are going through though.

 

Big hugs {{{hb}}}

[Mino]

thank you very much for the advice it was really helpful

xxx

Hi heart, he is 48 you are 26, this would never have worked out, alone on the age difference. He was as upfront as he could be by telling you he was not in love. He has 4 children, He is pretty much locked down, imagine the child support on 4 kids. I am so sorry that you are in pain. But this R never had a chance, him moving his w to the new area whas a good indicator. He was enjoying himself, you made him feel young again. But reality is he was never where you are emotionally in a R together. I hope you find peace soon, and date someone more your age... take care

[LakesideDream]

So not only do I have the pain of losing him but now hes letting me down badly. How could a guy who was my rock turn on me like this? It really is like going through hell. If he does not want to see me again cant he just be straight with me so I have closure? A few weeks ago I thought it looked promising he would leave his wife for me - now it looks doubtful he even wants me on the side!

I know its a long complicated story but any advice would be very much appreciated.

 

 

Brokenhearted, It's very depressing to hear of another vibrant young woman grommed and used by an experianced, older, married man.

 

What makes this story unusual is that he acutally lived under the same roof with you for a year. During that year he got to know you, was attracted to you, was very patient. He also was very confident.

 

He groomed you, gained your confidence, watched as your attachment to him grew. When his wife and children's arrival was a month away he decided to salvage what he could with you sexually. Oh.. and he had much more than a months notice of the move. I'm a batchlor, and made a major move, with only a batchlor's life to move. It still took 3 months to accomplish it from beginning to end. Moving an upscale household with 4 children is a marjor undertaking. Not a month of "quickie" effort.

 

By your own description he made his move with wine and roses, and a lot more romantic and sexual experiance than you have aquired. The physical trist reinforced your already mature emotional attachment. All of it happening when he was well aware that he would be leaving soon and losing the ready access to you.

 

He has a lot of investment in you. So far his investment has only been offset by the entertainment value of grooming you and a few orgasms shared pre coitus. I gaurentee you that he would remedy that situation if you called him, professed your ever lasting love, and offered your body to him completely to "seal" the bond. There would be enough time in his busy live to accept your gifts greedily before dissappearing completely.

 

Short of that happening, your usefullness to him has come to an end. He has a cute "fall back" position in that "love takes years to develop" and that you expected to much from him. If your affair ever comes to light he he will claim infatuation, with a back up of "we never had sex".

 

You married man was very clever.. and very practiced. If you had the resources you would find that you are not the first, second, or third vulnerable young lady that he has co-opted for his emotional and sexual needs.

 

You are 26 years old with a long and wonderous life in front of you. Time to pick yourself up, dust off and start reaching for the stars. For you this has been a difficult life lesson you must heed.

 

Good luck, and grace. You will feel better.

[NoIDidn't]

Poor thing. What a heartfelt and sad story.

 

That said, do your best to forget about him. Your own words will be used against you should you try to get his attention ("you're married").

 

If it hurts this bad and you haven't slept with him, imagine how bad you would feel if you do have sex with him?

 

I know it hurts, I've been there. The best thing to do is to forget him and get your life back.

[Mino]

Brokenhearted, It's very depressing to hear of another vibrant young woman grommed and used by an experianced, older, married man.

 

What makes this story unusual is that he acutally lived under the same roof with you for a year. During that year he got to know you, was attracted to you, was very patient. He also was very confident.

 

He groomed you, gained your confidence, watched as your attachment to him grew. When his wife and children's arrival was a month away he decided to salvage what he could with you sexually. Oh.. and he had much more than a months notice of the move. I'm a batchlor, and made a major move, with only a batchlor's life to move. It still took 3 months to accomplish it from beginning to end. Moving an upscale household with 4 children is a marjor undertaking. Not a month of "quickie" effort.

 

By your own description he made his move with wine and roses, and a lot more romantic and sexual experiance than you have aquired. The physical trist reinforced your already mature emotional attachment. All of it happening when he was well aware that he would be leaving soon and losing the ready access to you.

 

He has a lot of investment in you. So far his investment has only been offset by the entertainment value of grooming you and a few orgasms shared pre coitus. I gaurentee you that he would remedy that situation if you called him, professed your ever lasting love, and offered your body to him completely to "seal" the bond. There would be enough time in his busy live to accept your gifts greedily before dissappearing completely.

 

Short of that happening, your usefullness to him has come to an end. He has a cute "fall back" position in that "love takes years to develop" and that you expected to much from him. If your affair ever comes to light he he will claim infatuation, with a back up of "we never had sex".

 

You married man was very clever.. and very practiced. If you had the resources you would find that you are not the first, second, or third vulnerable young lady that he has co-opted for his emotional and sexual needs.

 

You are 26 years old with a long and wonderous life in front of you. Time to pick yourself up, dust off and start reaching for the stars. For you this has been a difficult life lesson you must heed.

 

Good luck, and grace. You will feel better.

Lakeside, what a wonderful , honest post. You hit the nail on the head, sadly... but gave heart wonderful advice....

[me003]

Lakeside, what a wonderful , honest post. You hit the nail on the head, sadly... but gave heart wonderful advice....

 

I agree. You were groomed and taken advantage of. I am sure that you also realize that you were hurting a family but also yourself at the same time.

 

if you ever had a chance, which I wouldn't, to talk to his wife she could tell you stories. He probably has EA or PA with other women.

 

Did you ever meet his wife? Did she ever call him when he was with you?

He may have played you. Maybe he did enjoy your company, but most of all the chase was good too.

I am sorry that you are hurting, but try to get out of your dark place. Your life and your future have to be more important that this man.

 

good luck and I do feel your pain.

[astra77]

I was sceptical whether he would call when he said as he told me he would call me a couple of days prior to seeing me & never did - he siad to me 'well its not like Im your boyfriend is it so I dont have to stick to a definate time'. He only stayed for 20 minutes & kept clock watching which was awful - I was used to having the whole evening to talk to him & now he couldnt get away quick enough to get home to the wife. He walked out with me hysterically shouting his name & crying 'dont go!' I felt so pathetic & I think it may have shocked him what a mess I was because of him. Anyway he never rang so I tried calling him & he switched his phone off on me! I couldnt believe he could be so cruel - he can see what this is doing to me so why make empty promises & give me false hope & cause me further pain by lying to me when he obvoiusly had no intention of calling. .

 

I know its hard - I left my A a short while ago, and my god it hurts soooo bad

 

If you read the qoute above that you have written, you say that he is clock watching, not calling when he says he will, that he is being cruel and not caring what you are going through.

 

You have to re read your quote a few times and see it for what it really is - He is clock watching coz he has somewhere else to be (at home with the W & Kids) he doesnt call because he has better things to do (at home with the W & Kids) and he doesnt care and is being cruel because he has better things to do (at home with the W & Kids)

 

Unfortunately it sounds as though even though this guy MAY have cared for you on some level that he was using you as a play thing to fill in time while the MRS was at home. I was played inthe same way by my XMM - his MRS was hopeless in the sack, never gave him what he wanted SEXUALLY, and guess what - he found all his sexual dreams come true in me. Its just about sex - nothing more

 

All I have succeeded in doing is RUINING my life, lying to and cheating on my H and now this a**hole (XMM) has a life time of "visual pictures" to get him through the rest of his "dreary sex life" I know from experience as some things - like the clock watching - was prevalent in my A

[LakesideDream]

I agree. You were groomed and taken advantage of. I am sure that you also realize that you were hurting a family but also yourself at the same time.

 

if you ever had a chance, which I wouldn't, to talk to his wife she could tell you stories. He probably has EA or PA with other women.

 

Did you ever meet his wife? Did she ever call him when he was with you?

He may have played you. Maybe he did enjoy your company, but most of all the chase was good too.

I am sorry that you are hurting, but try to get out of your dark place. Your life and your future have to be more important that this man.

 

good luck and I do feel your pain.

 

Me, In this case I am not inclined to put much blame on the OP, Heartbroken. Certainly there are 26 year olds who are mature and able enough to fend off, or contend with the advances of a 48 year old "player".. just not this 26 year old. The power dynamic was just to skewed this time.

 

The 48 year old exhibited a practiced pattern of behavior. Groomers like him seek out and entice the weak. He know what he was doing.

 

I don't excuse her behavior, I just don't blame her for succumbing to his superior experiance.

[White Flower]

Brokenhearted, It's very depressing to hear of another vibrant young woman grommed and used by an experianced, older, married man.

 

What makes this story unusual is that he acutally lived under the same roof with you for a year. During that year he got to know you, was attracted to you, was very patient. He also was very confident.

 

He groomed you, gained your confidence, watched as your attachment to him grew. When his wife and children's arrival was a month away he decided to salvage what he could with you sexually. Oh.. and he had much more than a months notice of the move. I'm a batchlor, and made a major move, with only a batchlor's life to move. It still took 3 months to accomplish it from beginning to end. Moving an upscale household with 4 children is a marjor undertaking. Not a month of "quickie" effort.

 

By your own description he made his move with wine and roses, and a lot more romantic and sexual experiance than you have aquired. The physical trist reinforced your already mature emotional attachment. All of it happening when he was well aware that he would be leaving soon and losing the ready access to you.

 

He has a lot of investment in you. So far his investment has only been offset by the entertainment value of grooming you and a few orgasms shared pre coitus. I gaurentee you that he would remedy that situation if you called him, professed your ever lasting love, and offered your body to him completely to "seal" the bond. There would be enough time in his busy live to accept your gifts greedily before dissappearing completely.

 

Short of that happening, your usefullness to him has come to an end. He has a cute "fall back" position in that "love takes years to develop" and that you expected to much from him. If your affair ever comes to light he he will claim infatuation, with a back up of "we never had sex".

 

Your married man was very clever.. and very practiced. If you had the resources you would find that you are not the first, second, or third vulnerable young lady that he has co-opted for his emotional and sexual needs.

 

You are 26 years old with a long and wonderous life in front of you. Time to pick yourself up, dust off and start reaching for the stars. For you this has been a difficult life lesson you must heed.

 

Good luck, and grace. You will feel better.

Sweetie, take this excellent advice and run. You have your whole life ahead of you. This man KNEW exactly what he was doing with you, I am so sorry to say. He has no restraint where YOUR feelings are concerned because he his only concerned with HIS conquest. Do NOT ever allow any man, especially married, to make you his conquest. Find real love and let it grow.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Brokenhearted, It's very depressing to hear of another vibrant young woman grommed and used by an experianced, older, married man.

 

What makes this story unusual is that he acutally lived under the same roof with you for a year. During that year he got to know you, was attracted to you, was very patient. He also was very confident.

 

He groomed you, gained your confidence, watched as your attachment to him grew. When his wife and children's arrival was a month away he decided to salvage what he could with you sexually. Oh.. and he had much more than a months notice of the move. I'm a batchlor, and made a major move, with only a batchlor's life to move. It still took 3 months to accomplish it from beginning to end. Moving an upscale household with 4 children is a marjor undertaking. Not a month of "quickie" effort.

 

By your own description he made his move with wine and roses, and a lot more romantic and sexual experiance than you have aquired. The physical trist reinforced your already mature emotional attachment. All of it happening when he was well aware that he would be leaving soon and losing the ready access to you.

 

He has a lot of investment in you. So far his investment has only been offset by the entertainment value of grooming you and a few orgasms shared pre coitus. I gaurentee you that he would remedy that situation if you called him, professed your ever lasting love, and offered your body to him completely to "seal" the bond. There would be enough time in his busy live to accept your gifts greedily before dissappearing completely.

 

Short of that happening, your usefullness to him has come to an end. He has a cute "fall back" position in that "love takes years to develop" and that you expected to much from him. If your affair ever comes to light he he will claim infatuation, with a back up of "we never had sex".

 

You married man was very clever.. and very practiced. If you had the resources you would find that you are not the first, second, or third vulnerable young lady that he has co-opted for his emotional and sexual needs.

 

You are 26 years old with a long and wonderous life in front of you. Time to pick yourself up, dust off and start reaching for the stars. For you this has been a difficult life lesson you must heed.

 

Good luck, and grace. You will feel better.

 

 

 

Thank you for this advice it all seems to be making sense now. Its absolutely excruciating to think that someone who I thought was my friend could do this to me - do you really think he planned the whole thing?

He knew excactly how vulnerable I was - I had family probs, was lonely, had self esteem issues & a few months ago found out I have a sight threatening eye disease so how could he be so cruel? Its unbelievable. He was there for me throughout all of these issues - took a genuine interest in me & became my rock - or so I thought.

And why do you think he only told me 1 month in advance he was moving his family here? I know he must have known for a few months prior to actually telling me.

[me003]

Me, In this case I am not inclined to put much blame on the OP, Heartbroken. Certainly there are 26 year olds who are mature and able enough to fend off, or contend with the advances of a 48 year old "player".. just not this 26 year old. The power dynamic was just to skewed this time.

 

The 48 year old exhibited a practiced pattern of behavior. Groomers like him seek out and entice the weak. He know what he was doing.

 

I don't excuse her behavior, I just don't blame her for succumbing to his superior experiance.

 

I agree with you, but I was blaming both him for grooming her and her for falling for it. I fell for it and the guy was my superior and we were only 4 years apart. My guy is VERY smart and knows how to play people. I saw it for myself, i was too blind and thought that I was not being played. Once I took a step back I saw it for what it was. The word love was thrown around and I a fell for it without any hesitation.

 

Whether this person was married, or dating someone, or single, a groomer will see the opportunity to get a weak person and take over. Just my thoughts and my experience these type of groomers.

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

Someone sent me this (clip) in a PM called "Let it go!". I thought it was pretty good and that it could help you through this.

 

Take care.

[LakesideDream]

I agree with you, but I was blaming both him for grooming her and her for falling for it. I fell for it and the guy was my superior and we were only 4 years apart. My guy is VERY smart and knows how to play people. I saw it for myself, i was too blind and thought that I was not being played. Once I took a step back I saw it for what it was. The word love was thrown around and I a fell for it without any hesitation.

 

Whether this person was married, or dating someone, or single, a groomer will see the opportunity to get a weak person and take over. Just my thoughts and my experience these type of groomers.

 

 

I'm afraid I cannot "blame" somone (the OP) for falling for it ONCE! this guy was a practiced groomer.. he knew what he was doing. She still doesen't fully understand what happed. Without intent, there cannot be blame.

 

I admit that 26 is a little old to be falling for this stuff, but obviously it happens. I've known of other even more mature ladies falling for a crud-dud like this guy. Hopefully it only happens once.

[Ariadne]

I'm afraid I cannot "blame" somone (the OP) for falling for it ONCE! this guy was a practiced groomer.. he knew what he was doing. She still doesen't fully understand what happed. Without intent, there cannot be blame.

 

I admit that 26 is a little old to be falling for this stuff, but obviously it happens. I've known of other even more mature ladies falling for a crud-dud like this guy. Hopefully it only happens once.

 

Besides, she could't stay away.

 

The guy was living in the same house, sat with her every evening to drink wine, listened to her problems, and tried and kiss her over and over.

 

Eventually she just couldn't help herself.

 

She was in a trap.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

called "Let it go!". I thought it was pretty good and that it could help you through this.

 

 

 

Thank you very much

xxx

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Hey,

 

Someone sent me this (clip) in a PM called "Let it go!". I thought it was pretty good and that it could help you through this.

 

Take care.

 

 

Thank you very much

xxx

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

I agree. You were groomed and taken advantage of. I am sure that you also realize that you were hurting a family but also yourself at the same time.

 

if you ever had a chance, which I wouldn't, to talk to his wife she could tell you stories. He probably has EA or PA with other women.

 

Did you ever meet his wife? Did she ever call him when he was with you?

He may have played you. Maybe he did enjoy your company, but most of all the chase was good too.

I am sorry that you are hurting, but try to get out of your dark place. Your life and your future have to be more important that this man.

 

good luck and I do feel your pain.

 

 

 

Yes I did meet his wife a couple of times & got on well with her which made the guilt even worse when things started happening between me & MM.

She used to call him every weekday evening & often he would be sitting in the same room as me when they spoke but sometimes he would disappear to take the call/call her.

I wonder if he has had other affairs in the past actually? Apparently the wife was very paranoid & possesive over him so perhaps he has - although I did ask him once if he had ever cheated on his wife & he denied ever having had an affair but then again its not something he would readily admit is it? And he appears to have lied about so many other things I just cannot see the truth through all the lies .

[LakesideDream]

Yes I did meet his wife a couple of times & got on well with her which made the guilt even worse when things started happening between me & MM.

She used to call him every weekday evening & often he would be sitting in the same room as me when they spoke but sometimes he would disappear to take the call/call her.

I wonder if he has had other affairs in the past actually? Apparently the wife was very paranoid & possesive over him so perhaps he has - although I did ask him once if he had ever cheated on his wife & he denied ever having had an affair but then again its not something he would readily admit is it? And he appears to have lied about so many other things I just cannot see the truth through all the lies .

 

 

Heartbroken. I hope you have learned your lesson. Of course he lied, all the time, daily in all probability. He wife undoubtedly had good reason to be paranoid.

 

How about heading out to Starbucks, or the mall.. and meet a nice buy your own age, and begin enjoying a balanced relationship.

[Lookingforward]

Heartbroken. I hope you have learned your lesson. Of course he lied, all the time, daily in all probability. He wife undoubtedly had good reason to be paranoid.

 

How about heading out to Starbucks, or the mall.. and meet a nice buy your own age, and begin enjoying a balanced relationship.

 

 

Paranoia implies without a reason - this sounds more like she was justifiably suspicious

[White Flower]

Yes I did meet his wife a couple of times & got on well with her which made the guilt even worse when things started happening between me & MM.

She used to call him every weekday evening & often he would be sitting in the same room as me when they spoke but sometimes he would disappear to take the call/call her.

I wonder if he has had other affairs in the past actually? Apparently the wife was very paranoid & possesive over him so perhaps he has - although I did ask him once if he had ever cheated on his wife & he denied ever having had an affair but then again its not something he would readily admit is it? And he appears to have lied about so many other things I just cannot see the truth through all the lies .

Oh sweetheart! Do not deny that funny little feeling you have. It is your God-given gift that protects you and any time a man lies to you he destroys the power of that gift.

 

If his wife is paranoid and possessive, he has cheated before. You are not the first and he alreay has someone lined up to replace you. I am so sorry.

 

Why don't you take charge and be the one to end it. Make him wonder why, and never give him an answer. I'd like to say it would drive him nuts, but if he is serial it won't matter to him. Oh, he can act like it does, but it doesn't.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

 

Why don't you take charge and be the one to end it. Make him wonder why, and never give him an answer. I'd like to say it would drive him nuts, but if he is serial it won't matter to him. Oh, he can act like it does, but it doesn't.

 

Well I dont think I will get the chance to end it...he basically already has without saying a word. He has not contacted me since that day he came round to drop the keys back & said he would call...and never did call & its now nearly 3 weeks later. Feel like he never will now - he has proved himself to be a complete coward. He has obvoiusly had a change of heart & couldnt face telling me or thought Im just not worth the trouble seeing on the side. Or lied totally about everything. He could have at least had the decency to let me know so I could have closure. Im still feeling very raw about all of this.

[Dark-N-Romantic]

Groomed and taken advantage of? Again... I have no sympathy. I have no sympathy for those who walk into the obvious bear traps. Especially if one gets out of one bear trap and another one is right next to it. Stupidity should be painful. Just like if a person kisses a light socked, they deserve to get shocked. Someone who holds a bloody piece of meat over a shark tank, how can you completely blame the shark if it bites your arm off? The same is my feelings are those who get hurt because the willingly engage in an affair with someone. Once the marital status is revealed, it is up to that person to make the conscious moral choice to do what is right or wrong. If they get hurt more, they choose to do so.

 

 

DNR