How do you tell them after seeing their pictures that they're not your type?

How do you tell a guy you finally saw a picture of after a few messages on online dating that he's not your type?

I don't want to hurt his feelings though.

"Thanks for sharing your picture with me. I'm sorry to say that you're not my type."

There's little value in trying to sugar-coat it.

Erm..."Thank you for sharing your pictures with me but I don't feel an attraction" ????

You could:

A) Tell him he's not your type.

B) Not respond. He'll get the hint.

C) Tell him nothing, go out on a date with him. Marry him and maybe miserable or learn to love him.

I think A or B are probably your best bet.

I usually say, "Thank you for the note, but I don't feel there is enough chemistry."

and leave it at that...

B) Not respond. He'll get the hint.

What, are you a small child? If you're not interested, just say so, leaving a person hanging or thinking is just wrong.

Moreover, a lot people just don't get it.

I say get to know him if you already liked him before the picture.

I find people to be more critical of each other online then they are in real life.

What, are you a small child? If you're not interested, just say so, leaving a person hanging or thinking is just wrong.

Moreover, a lot people just don't get it.

What are you, an a$$? Sounds about as critical and overbearing as your question.

I initially used to respond to everyone that left me a message online with one of the pre fab reasons they have, until I got a couple of angry responses telling me not to reject guys and to simply not respond. One guy actually wrote me an almost 2 page email on the subject, he was so crazy. I only give the "I don't think we have chemistry" reason when I have met the guy or have had a lot of communication and feel he deserves to know that I'm not interested.

There are some good suggestions above. I've faced this dilemma too. Now I just say that they should have a photo on their profile. It saves ending up in this situation where you've built up a little online relationship and then have to reject them.

Having said the above, I got chatting to a guy whose photo I wasn't struck by and decided to meet him because he sounded so interesting and respectful and was not far away. I thought maybe we could be friends at least so it wasn't fair to judge on the photo alone. He was very charismatic in person with the most striking blue eyes and very interesting to talk to. We ended up dating for a few months.

I do know that attraction shouldn't be dependent on a photo but I know deep down that if I find a guy's photo repulsive, there is no way I'd want a relationship with him even if I did meet him.

Now I just say that they should have a photo on their profile. It saves ending up in this situation where you've built up a little online relationship and then have to reject them.

 

If I find a guy's photo repulsive, there is no way I'd want a relationship with him even if I did meet him.

No photo on their profile could mean they are married or unavailable. Generally they are just unattractive.

I would prefer to have my photo visible and not know someone passed me by than start up a conversation, send the photo and then be rejected. Common sense.

Don't sugarcoat it. Just tell him that you're just not feeling it.

If he is a gentleman, he'll move on.

Don't sugarcoat it. Just tell him that you're just not feeling it.

 

If he is a gentleman, he'll move on.

Or, later that night, come here to start a thread about how superficial women are.

Or, later that night, come here to start a thread about how superficial women are.

That isn't a gentleman.

A gentleman recognizes that not every girl will find him attractive, so he will move on, and find one that does.

Now, if he is having trouble finding even one woman who finds him attractive, then maybe he has reason to complain.

I did not feel attracted to the picture of the guy I am now madly in love with...

We talked on an online dating site. I saw his pictures, and did not find them to be that great..

In fact, I wasw shallow; I thought I only liked body builder/ very good looking types of guys...

I met this guy, even though I was not that attracted to his pictures....

I did not even feel madly attracted to his physical appear appearance upon ou first meeting...

However, I kept seeing him, and gave him a chance to get to know him.

Fast forward 6 or 7 months later, and I am crazily in love with him, and he is the sexitest guy in the world to me.

OF COURSE: there are limits... u cannot be repulsed by them... I did not HATE his pictures, I simply was not attarcted to him a great deal.. I did not find him to be too offensive looking to kiss him, or anything on that level....

HOnestly though, I really did not feel much toward the way he looked; it took me to actually get to know the guy, for me to view him as sexy.

I did not find him to be sexy right away, but I CERTAINLY do now.. I honestly think he is sooooo attractive now.

I am not saying EVERY one can not be attracted to a man; and then goi on to get to know them, and then fall in love and start to see them as VERY good looking....

I just believe that, getting to know a guy, in spite of the fact that I was not initially that attracted to him, has ended in a great love for me. With that guy.

I am also not suggecting you are shallow; I am saying that I was shallow, and thought I could not get past my so called " preference" for the type of man I thought I wanted, physically speaking...

I put the way he looked aside, and actually got to know him, and now I do find him to be very handsome.

He is actually quiet good looking, I just was really shallow before meeting him, and was too critical.

I did not feel attracted to the picture of the guy I am now madly in love with...

 

 

We talked on an online dating site. I saw his pictures, and did not find them to be that great..

 

In fact, I wasw shallow; I thought I only liked body builder/ very good looking types of guys...

 

I met this guy, even though I was not that attracted to his pictures....

 

I did not even feel madly attracted to his physical appear appearance upon ou first meeting...

 

However, I kept seeing him, and gave him a chance to get to know him.

 

Fast forward 6 or 7 months later, and I am crazily in love with him, and he is the sexitest guy in the world to me.

 

OF COURSE: there are limits... u cannot be repulsed by them... I did not HATE his pictures, I simply was not attarcted to him a great deal.. I did not find him to be too offensive looking to kiss him, or anything on that level....

 

 

HOnestly though, I really did not feel much toward the way he looked; it took me to actually get to know the guy, for me to view him as sexy.

 

I did not find him to be sexy right away, but I CERTAINLY do now.. I honestly think he is sooooo attractive now.

 

 

I am not saying EVERY one can not be attracted to a man; and then goi on to get to know them, and then fall in love and start to see them as VERY good looking....

 

I just believe that, getting to know a guy, in spite of the fact that I was not initially that attracted to him, has ended in a great love for me. With that guy.

 

I am also not suggecting you are shallow; I am saying that I was shallow, and thought I could not get past my so called " preference" for the type of man I thought I wanted, physically speaking...

 

I put the way he looked aside, and actually got to know him, and now I do find him to be very handsome.

 

He is actually quiet good looking, I just was really shallow before meeting him, and was too critical.

So at what age do women start doing this stuff, so I know how long I have to wait? 40?

So at what age do women start doing this stuff, so I know how long I have to wait? 40?

Depends on the girl.

I just tell them the god honest truth. I don't want to waste their time and emotional health away.

So at what age do women start doing this stuff, so I know how long I have to wait? 40?

Honestly, I was just a shallow women; I was super thin, in great shape, and had just been with a body builder/ male model type..

I simply just gave this guy a chance. I enjoyed chatting to him, he made me happy, so I met him, and kept on meeting with him; even though I was not initially that attracted to him.

I am proud that I decided to not be shallow and give a guy a chance... I have now learnt it is the best way to be.. I am horrified when I think about the great love that I would have missed out on, with the most amazing guy I have met.

Listen they online these so call women don't know what they want. We need to go back to the days of AOL Instant chatting with no pictures to show off. So when you go to see these girls they'll be surprise to learn what you and her finally looks like in person. But she and you have talked over the PC and also on the phone. Now she knows you from your heart and mind. So appearance won't matter. This is the best way to go for it. Now they can see you for what you are and they can not let you know why they don't want you to be their partner. Rich girls won't want you if you don't have money, where it shouldn't be like that. Other women who are stuck with no man, can't be cuddled and just don't want you to touch them are also being selective too.

The odd balls online or on the dating sites are just rude women, they should be happy to learn your a great guy so what you don't look like the guy the want. To bad for them!

I guess having a picture really helps narrow down the people who are genuinely interested in you.

But............... be prepared to reject some people whom contact you, because it can be real tricky.

What are you, an a$$? Sounds about as critical and overbearing as your question.

You're the one who's leaving people hanging and I'm the a$$? Good joke.

until I got a couple of angry responses telling me not to reject guys and to simply not respond. One guy actually wrote me an almost 2 page email on the subject, he was so crazy.

I see, so you changed your ways because of what TWO people told you, both angry and one is crazy, moreover, both are complete strangers to you.

Want to sell a spine, wanna buy?

Don't sugar coat it op.

"not my type" is an insult to his intelligence because he's going to notice right up until you saw what he looked like, he was your type.

Nothing wrong with that really. He should have a pic up from the start.

I bypass women with no pic. It makes me think their trying to hide something or hiding from someone. (lot's of crazy ex's out there)

Don't sugar coat it op.

"not my type" is an insult to his intelligence because he's going to notice right up until you saw what he looked like, he was your type.

 

Nothing wrong with that really. He should have a pic up from the start.

 

I bypass women with no pic. It makes me think their trying to hide something or hiding from someone. (lot's of crazy ex's out there)

My SO didn't have a pic yet I was interested in her because her profile was unique and her responses were very witty and intelligent. After awhile she sent me a few pics, the quality wasnt so great (like they were taken from a bad phone cam) but I could tell she was at least thin and somewhat attractive. We eventually met for the first time and my jaw pretty much hit the floor when I saw how beautiful she was and we had the best date that I have ever had.

Don't count out people without profile pics. They might be just used to everyone judging them by their looks or dealing with stalkers. Two + years later I am glad I didn't overlook her

I totally agree with Leigh 87..I also believe in giving people a chance it's not all about the looks..shallow minded peeps won't agree with me of course but hey ho lol.Personality and attraction go hand in hand.Anyway nuff said.

My options:

a. Tell him frankly that he's not my type

b. Meet him and get it over and done with.

For a, he may appreciate that I didn't waste his time. As for b, I'll probably waste his time.

I wasn't keen during our messages but I just continued with it, or rather I didn't bother to think how to end it then. I should have.