Response to all the threads I've read recently

As much as I would like, I just don't have time to post my opinion/reply to all the new threads. So many are the same thing and, for me anyway, after so many years of saying basically the same thing to new members, I get tired--- so I'm throwing in my opinions here:

1. “My penis is too small”: No, it’s not. If someone tells you that your penis is too small just remember; it is their narrow and selfish view of sex that is small, not your equipment. Some people have very small minds. You don’t need them – dump them. They will only hurt you.

2. “Why won’t s/he go out with me?” or “How can I make him/her go out with me?”: They don’t want to date you and you can’t make them. Move on. Still having trouble moving on? Think of it like this: Picture the absolute worst person in your school/job/peer group. The one who you make jokes about behind their back. The one people snicker about. Now, imagine that this person totally wants to date you. Would you want me to tell them how they can MAKE you date them? What would it take for you to date the person who most disgusts you? The more you pester someone who has already turned you down, the more you become their most despised, and unwanted, pursuer.

3. “My significant other looks at porn!”: ASK them not to because it hurts your feelings. If they don’t want to comply with your request then you have two choices; Live with it, or leave. If you decide to live with it then work on some compromises – such as viewing times, content, and putting porn second to making love to you. If your partner can’t do that – leave. If you can’t stop nagging them about it – leave.

4. “What is the first time like?”: It’s different for everyone, and yet it’s the same for everyone. Telling you what it was like for me is no indicator of how it will be for you. Be careful, take precautions, make sure you are mature enough to handle it. If in doubt, don’t. If a guy or girl says they will break up with you if you don’t have sex, wish them well and move on to someone who might actually care about you, not what’s between your legs.

5. “How do I maintain NC?”: Simple; do not call, send text messages or emails, do not ask someone to talk for you and report back, don’t send flowers or cards; don’t call their family to find out about them; screen your calls and don’t answer if it’s him/her, block their calls, do not accept their emails or text messages. If you see that person on the street, turn and walk away.

6. “How long do I maintain NC?”: Until you realize that its over and you are ready to move on. If the other person contacts you first. If your therapist has given you a set amount of time before contacting each other.

7. “It used to be like [insert movie title here]!”: Life is NOT a movie. If you go through your life looking for perfect movie love you will likely go through life with a trail of broken relationships in your wake and never understanding why you are alone. Life is NOT a movie. Repeat that: LIFE IS NOT A MOVIE. Euphoria fades. It’s natural. If you are thinking of breaking up over this, do it. When you find a relationship that you want forever, you won’t have any doubts about breaking up when the ‘movie’ phase wears out.

8. “He/she has had more partners than I have, should I play catch-up?”: NO. It will NOT even the ‘playing field’. In fact, there shouldn’t be a ‘playing field’ in a serious relationship. Think of it this way: if your significant other had NOT had all those partners before you, they wouldn’t be the person you know and love now. Their past prepared this person to be emotionally ready for YOU.

9. “Should I spank my kids?”: Know yourself and your anger triggers, know your kids and what works for them, know and recognize the line between discipline and abuse. Do what you think is best for your family. It’s not my business, or anyone else’s.

10. “Just broke up! How do I deal?”: Welcome to the world of heart-break. The best things in life sometimes hurt. You will recover. It will take time. Be patient. Do things for yourself. Stay away from places that you shared with this person and find new things that are only for you. Go ahead and cry if you need to. You were lucky enough to love and be loved, if it happened once, it will happen again. Get up each day and know that you are not alone and that you will be fine. Work on forgetting about the other person and only think about what you have learned about yourself.

11. “My significant others’ family hates me”: Probably they don’t hate you. They might be the type that disapproved of everyone your significant other has brought home. Talk to your SO about that, make sure he/she knows your feelings. But don’t nag or complain. Then let it go. Your SO can not make others like you or treat you any better than they treat you. As long as your SO treats you well and doesn’t let the attitudes of his/her family influence his/her OWN feelings, you are OK. Give it time, people come around after they get accustomed to a new person.

12. “Help Me!”: Please make a better title than that! Help with what? If you are more descriptive in your title you will get more replies! Lots of us just skip over the Help Me pleas.

13. “Is [description of sex or dating or abuse] OK?”: No. If you have any qualms about an attitude or behavior being OK, it probably isn’t. What is OK with me, might not be with you, and vice versa. If YOU are uncomfortable with it, it’s not OK.

14. “Is my significant other cheating?”: Hell if I know. No one knows but your SO. If you suspect they are cheating then there is more wrong with the relationship than infidelity. Cheating is a symptom, not a cause. Accusing someone of cheating with no reason to doubt their fidelity is also a symptom of a greater problem—with you. You may have trust issues that need to be addressed.

15. “My bf/gf is afraid of commitment, what do I do?”: Refer to #2 above.

16. “How long does it take to get over someone?”: Everyone is different. It takes as long as it takes. There is no magic formula. Refer to #10 above.

Oh, and newby -- if you are reading this: REGISTER ALREADY! It doesn't hurt!

well jeeze... I guess i wll just pack up and Go know!

Haha!

And you forgot.... Re-read others Past Post's..... why do you think everyone gets sick of replying to the same old thing? Cause it's been DONE!

I think you forgot "Can I get pregnant through my jeans - dry humping?"...

Hokey, does this mean that all of your responses from here on out will be a link to this post?

Originally posted by Moose

Hokey, does this mean that all of your responses from here on out will be a link to this post?

yes... she will just post the link to this thread! haha..that would be fun!

Originally posted by laRubiaBonita

well jeeze... I guess i wll just pack up and Go know!

 

Haha!

 

And you forgot.... Re-read others Past Post's..... why do you think everyone gets sick of replying to the same old thing? Cause it's been DONE!

I am being facetious! It DOES get tiring though.

Originally posted by tiki

I think you forgot "Can I get pregnant through my jeans - dry humping?"...

Naw, I didn't forget. If people are so young and/or naive that they don't know the answer to this one, let 'em sweat it out until they grow up and learn!

Originally posted by Moose

Hokey, does this mean that all of your responses from here on out will be a link to this post?

If I could figure out how to put the link in my signature -------

here: cut and paste babe!

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=420070#post420070

Naw, I didn't forget. If people are so young and/or naive that they don't know the answer to this one, let 'em sweat it out until they grow up and learn!

Or let them spend some $$ on pregnancy tests!

This thread is GREAT Hokey!!

Good thing about Knight aka - Mike...He never asks the same question twice!

Okay, here's mine. I'd like to save on time too, and hokey has a great idea going....

"My penis is too small": If you're saying it is, it probably is. Can't do much about it, so live with it and be glad you have one.

"Why won’t s/he go out with me?”: Can you blame her???

"My significant other looks at porn!”: Have you ever asked him to stop? No???

“What is the first time like?”: It sucks, but we [obviously] keep doing it. Like you're really gonna stop?!?!?

"How do I maintain NC?”: Start by cutting out the drive-by stalking.

“How long do I maintain NC?”: Until he/she contacts you. Hey, it's your game, not mine.

"It used to be like [insert movie title here]!”: And I used to be skinny. What's your point?

“He/she has had more partners than I have, should I play catch-up?”: Yes, please, for the sake of all of us: DO.

"Should I spank my kids?”: No, let me.

“Just broke up! How do I deal?”: Get on with your life. And "deal" the same way you did BEFORE they came along.

“My significant others’ family hates me”: Welcome to life. Enjoy the ride.

“Help Me!”: No, help me.

“Is [description of sex or dating or abuse] OK?”: If it walks like a duck.......

"Is my significant other cheating?”: If you're asking, that's probably not a good sign.

“My bf/gf is afraid of commitment, what do I do?”: Force her/him to be with you. They love that and it's what they secretly want.

“How long does it take to get over someone?”: Forever. Prepare for take-off.

Tiki~ the last two are Magnific!

To be even more efficient, I think it would be best to answer the questions by combining them, making them more streamlined:

How long does it take to get over someone who won’t go out with me?

Was the first time like your significant other looking at the porn [insert movie title here]?

Should I spank my kids or my penis or is [description of sex or dating or abuse] OK?

My significant other is cheating with more partners than I am, so should I play catch-up?

My bf/gf is afraid of commitment and my significant others’ family hates me, what do I do?

Help Me! (Help me get this in the right topic thread.)

"It used to be like [insert movie title here]!”: And I used to be skinny. What's your point?

"Should I spank my kids?”: No, let me.

Hey! I am SERIOUS about my 'advice'! Yes, it's don't tongue-in-cheek, but it's from the heart too!

Oh I was serious about mine too.

Lots o' boards have FAQs or 'most popular questions' or similar sections. Their regulars are less likely to suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome, I'm sure.

Originally posted by moimeme

Lots o' boards have FAQs or 'most popular questions' or similar sections. Their regulars are less likely to suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome, I'm sure.

right MOIMEME, like any new member or new poster is gonna peruse the FAQs! People are here for the interaction and give and take and false sense of community. One does not get much of that with a FAQ.

Hoke and Tiki.. those are awesome

The thing is this..

Although the same questions get asked a million times.. the reason people will continue to ask the same questions is because everyone thinks thier situation is different.

LOL I see that posted a lot.. it will start out saying something like.. I know this sounds like every other story BUT mine is *Special* because of XYZ.. it doesn't matter if the same exact thing has already been posted because this person was talking about assclown and mine isn't assclown mine is jackass.. OR My situation is different because although yes, yes my penis is small.. I call him Mr. Happy where as so and so calls his Mr. Small.. so yeah.. I think if I call mine Mr. Happy it won't matter if it's small will it? LOL there is always a small detail that people think may change the advice given or the outcome..

Originally posted by Merin

Hoke and Tiki.. those are awesome

 

The thing is this..

 

Although the same questions get asked a million times.. the reason people will continue to ask the same questions is because everyone thinks thier situation is different.

 

LOL I see that posted a lot.. it will start out saying something like.. I know this sounds like every other story BUT mine is *Special* because of XYZ.. it doesn't matter if the same exact thing has already been posted because this person was talking about assclown and mine isn't assclown mine is jackass.. OR My situation is different because although yes, yes my penis is small.. I call him Mr. Happy where as so and so calls his Mr. Small.. so yeah.. I think if I call mine Mr. Happy it won't matter if it's small will it? LOL there is always a small detail that people think may change the advice given or the outcome..

LMAO! lol, that was quite the analogy Merin! lol. I will have to remember that the next time someone asks me for **over-done** advice.

right MOIMEME, like any new member or new poster is gonna peruse the FAQs

Well, thanks for that expert opinion, [color=red]ALPHAMALE[/color]

How many forums have you been part of, exactly?

Originally posted by moimeme

Well, thanks for that expert opinion, [color=red]ALPHAMALE[/color]

 

How many forums have you been part of, exactly?

hahahahaha.

I agree, the answers are really good. It sums up a lot of things that "Not into You" books take chapters to reiterate. Of course, there's always a few people who are only willing to believe what they want to see.

When I read posts on LS, I do gain insight into my own situation(s) when I read about someone else's rather similar experience and what advice has been offered.

this person was talking about assclown and mine isn't assclown mine is jackass..

Sounds like a new dating show.

Originally posted by SummerRae

LMAO! lol, that was quite the analogy Merin! lol. I will have to remember that the next time someone asks me for **over-done** advice.