so_mo34 Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 when your trying to get over someone, do you ever feel that you will never get over them? think that you will never fall in love with anybody else? and that no one compares to them? in result, did you actually find someone you love more later on? is it normal that i feel like this even though i was just used?
Lakeside_runner Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Yes! That's exactly how I feel. Well, don't have much experience yet - I was in two relationships, one lasting for 4.5 years (3 of which were LDR but we saw each other for 6 months each year) and the second one lasting 3.5 months (of which I was away 1 month), kind of an unfortunate timing etc. As I am at the end of recovering from the last break up I still have those moments where I think I won't be able to find another girl who was as fantastic as my last GF. Especially since the relationship was too short to reveal any negative sides (well maybe there were a couple if I think hard and really look for them). But as time goes by I realize that I keep meeting girls with whom I'd like to share my present day, support them and be there for them and I expect the same from them. I'll be moving in a couple of months to another state and one day I felt particularly down about just having broken up with my last GF (she's really close to her family/sister and although she thought I'm the perfect guy she could not imagine herself living so far away from them). Before my Aikido practice a friend of mine asked me what's wrong - I told him what's on my mind and that I'm afraid that I won't be able to find anybody out there etc. He told me one thing: "Well, everywhere you went so far you were able to attract people to you. Why do you think you won't be able to do that in the new place?". After a couple of weeks passed I realize - he was right! Morale: Yes, it feels really bad after a break up. You feel like you've given up a huge chunk of yourself and you will never feel the same about anyone else. That is true - you won't. But the difference will be insignificant. It'll be a new person and hopefully your past relationships let you discover who you are and what you want.
USMCHokie Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 when your trying to get over someone, do you ever feel that you will never get over them? Yes. think that you will never fall in love with anybody else? Yes. and that no one compares to them? Yes. in result, did you actually find someone you love more later on? Still working on it... is it normal that i feel like this even though i was just used? Yes.
desertmoon Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Quote: Originally Posted by so_mo34 when your trying to get over someone, do you ever feel that you will never get over them? Yes. (it is just a "Feeling" , it is not based on anything concrete. Of course you will get over them!) Quote: Originally Posted by so_mo34 think that you will never fall in love with anybody else? Yes. (see above. It is all about what you ALLOW yourself to feel and think!-snap out it! Mind over matter!) Quote: Originally Posted by so_mo34 and that no one compares to them? Yes. ( BS! there is always someone better). Quote: Originally Posted by so_mo34 in result, did you actually find someone you love more later on? Still working on it...( work it!) Quote: Originally Posted by so_mo34 is it normal that i feel like this even though i was just used? Yes. ( yes, but it is not normal to stay in that hole) __________________ JAG - LS
Ruby Slippers Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Yes, I've felt all that. It really does just take time and healing. It took me at least a full year to get over my last relationship of 2 years.
Silver_star Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 unfortunately yes. It sucks getting over someone even when you are ready to date again those memories can still come back to bite you in the ass...you need to take time to heal and slowly look around at whats out there. Taking what you know you need now and for the future into account..you will find someone better.
boogieboy Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Once I started just conversing with new women after my ex dumped me, I realized that there are much better personalities out there...and that it would be possible to land one of them if I worked on it.
mrkleen Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 You will be fine. Hang in there and spend some time working on yourself. Go find a new hobby, or work out more, or take a class - do something that will benefit you mentally, physically and put in around a new group of people. Time heals ALL wounds....trust me.
aerogurl87 Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 when your trying to get over someone, do you ever feel that you will never get over them? I felt this way about my ex, thought I'd never be able to breathe again if he wasn't a part of my life in some way, shape, or form. think that you will never fall in love with anybody else? Yeah thought that even though I was treated like crap through 90% of the relationship. and that no one compares to them? Definitely thought this too, and listening to Joss Stone sing about dumping her ex and not even being over him a year later didn't really help. in result, did you actually find someone you love more later on? Not sure if I'm in love yet, but I definitely found someone better and I'm actually completely happy with someone for once. is it normal that i feel like this even though i was just used? It's normal especially when you put that person up on a pedestal and it seems like they can do no wrong, even if they blatantly use you. My ex cheated on me so many times, but I kept making excuses for him the whole time, even convinced myself that his cheating and leaving me for someone else was all my fault. So yeah it's normal.
tkgirl Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 (edited) when your trying to get over someone, do you ever feel that you will never get over them? think that you will never fall in love with anybody else? and that no one compares to them? in result, did you actually find someone you love more later on? is it normal that i feel like this even though i was just used? I've been thinking A LOT about my ex-whatever he was. I had strong really feelings for him and went through a lot of pain... waiting for something from him that he just couldn't give. It's wierd.... just when I think I'm over it he'll pop back into my head again. Lately it's been so intense... like I just know he's thinking about me too and that I am going to hear from him... I know that sounds crazy. I think that sometimes there's these certain connections you make in your life that don't just go away... Edited March 17, 2010 by tkgirl
twhisperer Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 when your trying to get over someone, do you ever feel that you will never get over them? think that you will never fall in love with anybody else? and that no one compares to them? in result, did you actually find someone you love more later on? is it normal that i feel like this even though i was just used? I really only truly felt that way once.
zebracolors Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 when your trying to get over someone, do you ever feel that you will never get over them? think that you will never fall in love with anybody else? and that no one compares to them? in result, did you actually find someone you love more later on? is it normal that i feel like this even though i was just used? 1.Yes. Lack of closure is possibly good at making someone feel as though they will never get over someone. 2. No, because a good friend told me something that helped me to feel better. He said "you were loved before, you'll be loved again." So I then realized I could love again certainly. 3.Yes. No one else you come to be with will be exactly like the previous, there is only the possibility of them being sort of similar. Your experiences with the new one will be different, so comparing the previous with the new would be like comparing apples and oranges, imo.
skydiveaddict Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 when your trying to get over someone, do you ever feel that you will never get over them? think that you will never fall in love with anybody else? and that no one compares to them? in result, did you actually find someone you love more later on? is it normal that i feel like this even though i was just used? Man do I ever know how you're feeling right now, along with others here as well. I keep asking myself the same questions.
MalachiX Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 It's all normal. I was in a three year relationship. She wasn't the first girl I dated or even the first one I slept with but she was the first girl I ever said the words "I love you" to and that meant a lot to me. Even though I knew we were both better off being out of the relationship, it took me a long time to get over it. For a year, I didn't date anybody. I made out with a few girls here and there at parties but never actually went out with anyone. Every time I was would even think of asking someone out, I would think of my last relationship and realize I wasn't ready. After a year I finally felt like I was over the relationship but I found myself in the awkward state of not knowing how to date anymore. I felt I had just been getting the hang of dating when I got involved with this girl and now after four years of being dormant, it felt like I was starting all over again. I went on a few dates here and there but didn't feel comfortable going beyond that. It was only in the last month or so that I started really going out with someone and I probably wouldn't have gone this far with it if mutual friends hadn't pushed hard for us to go out. Even now, I really don't think this will end up being a long term relationship. It feels more like I'm just doing it to enjoy someone's company for a while and remember what it means to actually go out with someone for more than a week. So, in conclusion, you're not alone. If you feel bad, remember there's a guy on this thread who was single for two years after a break-up and there are people on these boards who have taken even longer.
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