Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 My ex has actually opened up to me in this last week, since he found out I got the tattoo of his name covered. He is with someone new, but he is very confused and is actually seeing a therapist about the situation. He told me we have different lives now and the only thing that is holding him back from being with me is that he i scared that things would be the same... I feel like this is progress nd I am able to listen to him without feeling hurt or desperate. In a sense I have moved on but still love him. He also told me that the girl he is with now has wandering eyes and he is at the point of breaking up with her. He told me he does not want me to move on but if I must then its only fair. I am talking to someone else but I do not feel a connection with him. He knows the situation and is taking it slow... My ex is supposed to come over on monday and bring our other dog that he now owns to visit my dog... How should I handle our conversation- do I talk about what went wrong between us and if things have changed?
sultry33 Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 talk about the good times.. try and steer clear of any problems.. thats such a cool thing to do with the dogs so sweet:love: hope things go ok x
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 22, 2008 Author Posted August 22, 2008 What if he wants to disucss something- our problems to see if they could be fixed?
nowhereman82 Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 Believe the guides I have read said if they bring it up then its ok....or was it that they said to say you don't want to talk about that stuff yet, and just keep it positive the first couple of visits....DOH
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 22, 2008 Author Posted August 22, 2008 I think I will talk about positive things and if he brings up any past issues, that is when I will discuss them...
sultry33 Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 yeah i think only go there if they ask.. or talk about it.. really you want them to remember the good times so tread carefully on other stuff. Had this same situation last night.. did make me realise that deep down id hurt him real bad and i was really sad about that.. i thought we had moved on from that but he was stewing it up.. hopefully i explained my reasons well enough for him to know i was sorry etc. he said "its strange how we can just pick up where we left off as if no time has passed at all even though not seen each other for couple months" i felt like screaming at him saying.. " its because we love each other so much u crazy fool" but i just agreed;) he later said yeah.. cannot live together.. cannot live apart.. i agreed with that its very hard to not go over things but i want him to be happy and i dont want to loose him.. i need time to show him things have changed as they really needed to.. but at same time i need to trust him enough to let it happen if anything does happen.. ive never felt out of love with him.. just take it slow, which this time i will be doing.. still living my life;) had a great night.. laughed a lot spent 4hrs together and it felt just right:D
nopainnogain Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 The Ex and I This sounds like a good title for a sitcom.
sultry33 Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 This sounds like a good title for a sitcom. the ex and 1 Hopelessly_Devoted yea lol in reverse;)
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 I will let you know what happens today after he leaves, he already made it clear that he is busy today and he will stay for like an hour or so... I am nervous but not expecting anything right away but at least he will get to see the many changes I have made to my apartment, myself (physically and personality wise)
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 Well he came over with the dog. He stayed for about an hour and then we went to walk the dogs. He was telling me that he wants to see if he came make it on his own and that I really hurt him and that at times he regrets breaking up. He said that the girl he is with likes him more than he likes her but they have a bond because they can talk without fighting. And she is a good "housewife" meaning that she comes to his apt to clean. (hello- the girl knew all my faults when he confided in her and she is using that to her advantage) He says that maybe in the future we will be together, so I said you mean if things don't work out between you and her and he said no I will leave her if I want to (yeah like you did to me jerk) He says he still has feelings for me but is scared that things would end up the same. He says he wants to be happy. He kissed me on the cheek when he left... So I don't know what to think of this, I am just going into NC as of now. I can't keep making myself feel this way.
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 Please any feedback... I feel like I am back to square 1 again!
sultry33 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 i think for your own sanity to need to go no contact, he may have a cleaner;) but he has not got you and just because he can talk to her and all is ok dont mean she is the better person.. how many of us have listened in a new rs ad thought.. damn he has ex issues:laugh: it will wear off.. noone knows if it will work but atm he is with her.. so let them be.. let him make his choice and get busy living:)you have told him how you feel.. ball n his court now
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