NewB

You are making too much sense but of course they don't get it and will always blame the man. Do women ever take accountability for anything? Do they ever sit back and think that maybe they were the one in the wrong? I understand he needs to accept it is over but it is the man not allowed to feel anything over being betrayed by a woman he thought he trusted? Not saying all women are like this but the ones that are and the mentality expressed in this thread are the reason why some men become bitter misogynist pigs.

Everyman should make their future wives sign a pre-nupual agreement!

That way in case she leaves she leaves with nothing.

She's complaining that he makes 80.000 a year? So he aint your piggy bank? You aint entitled to anything like spousal support or alimony! Or even child support. If he goes to court with you and you loose custody or if he's granted joint custody with him getting the primary place? Then what?

I hate women like that, thank god I'm never getting married without a pre-nup!

Some women dont deserve anything!

Everyman should make their future wives sign a pre-nupual agreement!

 

That way in case she leaves she leaves with nothing.

 

She's complaining that he makes 80.000 a year? So he aint your piggy bank? You aint entitled to anything like spousal support or alimony! Or even child support. If he goes to court with you and you loose custody or if he's granted joint custody with him getting the primary place? Then what?

 

I hate women like that, thank god I'm never getting married without a pre-nup!

 

Some women dont deserve anything!

Make sure you get the best lawyer money can buy to look at the prenup for you as well to make sure it is bulletproof. I had the best family lawyer money can buy in my divorce and I went to him for a prenup the 2nd time around. If a woman won't sign it with no hesitation as well then she is not marriage material and you need to cut her loose. My wife signed it with no protest and that is how I knew she was the one. In a few years if this board is still around we will hear about her cheating on the OM.

Make sure you get the best lawyer money can buy to look at the prenup for you as well to make sure it is bulletproof. I had the best family lawyer money can buy in my divorce and I went to him for a prenup the 2nd time around. If a woman won't sign it with no hesitation as well then she is not marriage material and you need to cut her loose. My wife signed it with no protest and that is how I knew she was the one. In a few years if this board is still around we will hear about her cheating on the OM.

LMAO!!!

Kanye West: If aint no punk holla we want pre nup! Because when she leaves yo ass, she gonna leave with half, 18 years, 18 years! and on the 18th birthday he found out it wasnt his!!!

I aint saying she's a goldigger! lol.

so um...mr. barracuda. did I mention I cheated and I liked it? haha

so um...mr. barracuda. did I mention I cheated and I liked it? haha

Yes......you told us in your first post you enjoyed it

Aren't you special?

I just think its funny that some people get so worked up about a situation that they know practically nothing about.

I just think its funny that some people get so worked up about a situation that they know practically nothing about.

I've stayed out of this thread until today.

Honestly with the attitude that comes across from you and things you've said and done I can understand why your husband has been angry with you. You are no hard done by person.

What we don't know is what have you said to your husband to make him be angry with you. You have of course left that stuff out IMHO.

I cheated on him and got pregnant by another man. Isn't that enough to make him angry at me? I really didn't need to say anything, the situation alone was enraging enough for him.

I cheated on him and got pregnant by another man. Isn't that enough to make him angry at me? I really didn't need to say anything, the situation alone was enraging enough for him.

And youj don't understand why he would be angry about this? Is he supposed to be a robot with no emotions?

I cheated on him and got pregnant by another man. Isn't that enough to make him angry at me? I really didn't need to say anything, the situation alone was enraging enough for him.

So what were your reasons for cheating on him?

I never said I didn't understand. In fact I completely understand and that is why I feel I deserve to be left alone by him. Why would he want to continue to torture himself by clinging to some false hope that he and I will someday get through this nightmare that I have brought upon him? Wouldn't it be much more healthy for him to let it go and move on? I mean the situation has become quite ridiculous at this point.

So what were your reasons for cheating on him?

Am I going to be put down and scolded if I list my reasons here?

Am I going to be put down and scolded if I list my reasons here?

Lol, not by me. I am wondering from some of your responses why you hated your husband before the affair? Is this why you cheated?

Up to you whether you answer or not.

He is still getting over the shock and hasn't fully processed it yet. Men shockingly do have feelings. I know that is a hard concept for most women to wrap themselves around but it is true.

I can't say that I hated him or even hate him now. I cheated because I thought it would be an easy way out of a bad relationship. He is a very controlling person. When we were married everything we did had to be on his terms. For example, he bought the home we lived in for five years without even asking me about it or showing it to me first. My pregnancy with our son was unplanned and when I told him that I was pregnant he told me to "get rid of it". We were living together at the time and had already been in our relationship for four years. Once we were married and financially stable I wanted another child. He would never consider it. He did encourage me to go back to school to get my Master's degree and we had a plan to move together to a home closer to the school. He backed out at the last minute and I moved to a new city alone for over a year. During that time he decided to move his mother and brother into our two bedroom home without asking me. She is an unemployed drug addict and her son is schizophrenic. Needless to say, our home was literally destroyed by these people.

He is still getting over the shock and hasn't fully processed it yet. Men shockingly do have feelings. I know that is a hard concept for most women to wrap themselves around but it is true.

So what do you suggest? Is there a sufficient time limit that I must adhere to until we are even? How long do I need to continue to tiptoe around him and put up with his constant harrassment in order for his feelings to mend?

I can't say that I hated him or even hate him now. I cheated because I thought it would be an easy way out of a bad relationship. He is a very controlling person. When we were married everything we did had to be on his terms. For example, he bought the home we lived in for five years without even asking me about it or showing it to me first. My pregnancy with our son was unplanned and when I told him that I was pregnant he told me to "get rid of it". We were living together at the time and had already been in our relationship for four years. Once we were married and financially stable I wanted another child. He would never consider it. He did encourage me to go back to school to get my Master's degree and we had a plan to move together to a home closer to the school. He backed out at the last minute and I moved to a new city alone for over a year. During that time he decided to move his mother and brother into our two bedroom home without asking me. She is an unemployed drug addict and her son is schizophrenic. Needless to say, our home was literally destroyed by these people.

Thank you for replying, I wondered whether it was an exit affair. Your husband will hurt for a very long time I'm afraid but I hope you can both put aside your feelings for your childs sake.

Do women ever take accountability for anything?

she did. she came clean, apologized, and tried to end. he won't let her. this isn't saying the guy dserved to be cheated on, but his behavior after the fact is just as inexcusable.

Originally Posted by schweetpea

so um...mr. barracuda. did I mention I cheated and I liked it? haha

 

Your gonna pay for what you did in one way or another. I'll tell you that now.

 

Whether it was an exit affair or not, your a freaking coward plain and simple. You tossed him aside like garbage and when your fed up with the OM's bullsh** your gonna toss him aside like garbage.

 

It's all gonna come back to you when your first born tells the OM you aint my daddy you just the man who F-ed my moms and got her pregnant! and when your son looks at you he's gonna say: there goes my ho of a mother cant even keep her legs closed. I wanna live with my pops!

 

Or when the OM tires of you and finds a new plaything, your gonna be left alone. Two men by two different fathers. A woman who has no reguard for herself and others.

 

I wonder what would happened if the OM brought home a serious STD and you couldnt get rid of it, Are you still gonna be laughing either? lol.

 

Let's laugh at that one!!! lmao!

 

I hope your husband gets physical custody of your son let's see if your laughing then.:p:rolleyes:

 

...What goes around comes around! make no mistake about that!

 

I'm out, my word is final!

this isn't the case for all people. i know it bothers you to think that some people can cheat and simply get over it, but the fact remains that they can. not everyone beats themselves silly for things they have done and cannot change. oh, well.

hoping an abusive person gets control of a child instead of a mother who cares for her son, but didn't care for her husband as much, is pretty sick.

the only way any of you will be happy is if she can erase the cheating. well guess what? she can't; no one can, and it shouldn't affect you. some of you seem not to realize that she owned up to it and did the best she could to make it fair for her husband, who is now acting like a child. if he's so hurt and wants to be abusive, he should have no problem giving her a divorce. she tried to set him free after her indiscretion, and he isn't letting her out of spite. all he is getting is to stay 'married' to her. not very mature, certainly less mature than someone who screwed up, owned up to it honestly like a woman, and dealt with it the best she could. not everyone does every little thing by the book, including you, and at least she tried to deal with it appropriately.

Damn Chrome is mad but I understand. Who knows if she was really abused as well because a lot of women like to lie about that. According to my ex I was the white version of Ike Turner but I never laid a hand on her. Some women are very good at making themselves the victim in situations.

Damn Chrome is mad but I understand. Who knows if she was really abused as well because a lot of women like to lie about that. According to my ex I was the white version of Ike Turner but I never laid a hand on her. Some women are very good at making themselves the victim in situations.

just like some men are very good at making women look like liars.

not disagreeing with you, just showing that for everything, there is an opposite side. or something. it's late, sorry. but i think you know what i mean.

just like some men are very good at making women look like liars.

 

not disagreeing with you, just showing that for everything, there is an opposite side. or something. it's late, sorry. but i think you know what i mean.

I don't believe all women are liars but I don't believe cheating women for anything. I have seen too many cases including my own where they turn it around to make the men look like the bad guy when they are caught.

schweetpea -

Are you working with a lawyer on your divorce? What is the situation if one spouse refuses to move things along? Is there any kind of "default" grant after a certain amount of time? Is there no alternative other than just staying stalled? I wonder if his ability to stall the proceedings is just the last bit of control he feels he has over you as a spouse.

What is the nature of his physical abuse? Have you documented this and/or persued a restraining order? Can you describe what has happened here?

My bottom line remains: the marriage is over. Yes, there is understandable anger, but both partners need to move forward with their lives, and engage each other in their roles as parents keeping the child's best interest in clear view. Any unwillingness on either side to persue that goal is immaturity, and parental irresponsibility.

schweetpea -

 

Are you working with a lawyer on your divorce? What is the situation if one spouse refuses to move things along? Is there any kind of "default" grant after a certain amount of time? Is there no alternative other than just staying stalled? I wonder if his ability to stall the proceedings is just the last bit of control he feels he has over you as a spouse.

 

What is the nature of his physical abuse? Have you documented this and/or persued a restraining order? Can you describe what has happened here?

 

My bottom line remains: the marriage is over. Yes, there is understandable anger, but both partners need to move forward with their lives, and engage each other in their roles as parents keeping the child's best interest in clear view. Any unwillingness on either side to persue that goal is immaturity, and parental irresponsibility.

We both have lawyers its just that the H is taking his sweet time doing what the lawyers need in order for things to proceed. Indeed, a control thing. As far as abuse, daily txt messages calling me a whore, bad mom, insane, loser, pathetic, telling me to get an abortion....that sort of thing. While the next minute he says he loves me, misses me, wants to be with me, wants to go out on dates, breakfast in bed... The only physical stuff he does is pushing, standing in front of doors so I can't leave, and he slapped my phone out of my hand once when I was trying to call the police. I tried to get an order of protection but was denied by the judge. He's stopped the physical stuff for now anyway.