Why do Men have a hard time with a gal that has a strong personality?

I have a strong personality I'm in a field where guys feel they know more. So someone like me will threaten them. Not all but most.

I have a strong personality I'm in a field where guys feel they know more. So someone like me will threaten them. Not all but most.

Woggle must REALLY like you.

Why does an assertive person require more energy than someone who's not assertive? I'd actually think a passive person would require more energy to deal with because they cannot ... well, assert themselves.

I said "highly assertive". Key word: highly. I like people who can assert themselves when they need to. I don't like people who are assertive all the time. I don't like being in competition with people I care about.

All I know is that the most interesting, accomplished, articulate and independent women I know are, for the most part, single. They are women who call it as they see it, and I think this is intimidating for some men. There are still a lot of unconscious expectations of certain gender roles out there, and the independent woman seems to be some kind of threat. A friend jokingly told me I could try to "dumb it down" a little. I'm not competitive, but I'm not going to dumb it down for anyone.

All I know is that the most interesting, accomplished, articulate and independent women I know are, for the most part, single. They are women who call it as they see it, and I think this is intimidating for some men. There are still a lot of unconscious expectations of certain gender roles out there, and the independent woman seems to be some kind of threat. A friend jokingly told me I could try to "dumb it down" a little. I'm not competitive, but I'm not going to dumb it down for anyone.

with what you said (bolded)

Go back to that karaoke bar where the one guy picked you up and carried you. He seemed to dig your action.

I said "highly assertive". Key word: highly. I like people who can assert themselves when they need to. I don't like people who are assertive all the time. I don't like being in competition with people I care about.

Why are you equating someone asserting themselves with being in competition? Are you unable to assert yourself and therefore feel inferior or something?

Why are you equating someone asserting themselves with being in competition? Are you unable to assert yourself and therefore feel inferior or something?

Are you trying to assert yourself? How cute!

"Strong personalities" are so drawn to this Thread!

I'll take a fire cracker any day.

Are you trying to assert yourself? How cute!

Don't answer a question with a question.

Go back to that karaoke bar where the one guy picked you up and carried you. He seemed to dig your action.

you are too damn funny! :lmao:

ps - i think the lesbian couple wanted you! :lmao:

Woggle must REALLY like you.

If he was in my field probably not.

I agree: Women who are silent/passive doormats are draining. The guy must do the thinking, talking and planning for two. That becomes exhausting. Boring, unimaginative people are such a drag.

 

Plus, positive strong personality types are often better lovers than the doormats.

 

I have no interest in hooking up with a "Yes, dear" submissive. I'll take a fire cracker any day.

Believe it or not...I used to be pretty silent and passive. It's not because I wasn't a firecracker.....obviously I was inside because now it shows. But I didn't show it because I was afraid it wouldn't get approval.

Then I got older and I stopped caring what got approval. (mind you, this didn't happen all that long ago for me unfortunately)

My point is though that just because someone might LOOK dull, doesn't mean they ARE.

I'm actually amazed that people like how crazy I am, now that I show it. Makes me wished I would have shown it sooner but oh well, live and learn. My point is, don't just judge someone right off the bat.

HA HA HA HA HA! How many of your male friends are absolute dicks but you still hang out with them. How many of your male friends will argue for 1/2 hour over esoteric exceptions to game rules? How many of your male friends are loud and belligerent?

 

You don't want a girlfriend, you want a Valium and a fuzzy pillow. And leave the dragons alone, they're not hurting anyone.

The difference is that with my male friends we argue and it is over. When a man argues with a woman she will remember everything if he defends himself aand will lose respect if he does not defend himself so men are caught in a cache 22. I also don't hang out with men that act *******s 24/7 and ruin a good time. I just don't want to come home to a belligerent nasty woman. If that makes me a misogynost so be it but I know what I do and don't want in a relationship.

The difference is that with my male friends we argue and it is over. When a man argues with a woman she will remember everything if he defends himself aand will lose respect if he does not defend himself so men are caught in a cache 22. I also don't hang out with men that act *******s 24/7 and ruin a good time. I just don't want to come home to a belligerent nasty woman. If that makes me a misogynost so be it but I know what I do and don't want in a relationship.

I agree that women sometimes don't know when to quit and once the argument is over and the issue is resolved, they should not bring up the subject again. that's not nastiness though, we women get frustrated when we feel we are not being heard.

as a person I've always had to fight for everything I have and now I am very quick to decide what suits me and what doesn't and I establish boundaries quickly. I think that is what assertive is and I would never be in any other way.

at the same time I am learning not to shoot my mouth off and to be less impulsive because I know that's counter productive and can come across the wrong way.

I have had to fight for everything I have as well and I have been through hell and back but I don't feel the need to pick fights with my wife for no reason at all. I may have my issues with women but I don't drag them into my relationship. Too many women take everything that every other man has done and dump it all on some poor guy who has done nothing wrong then when that guy runs for the hill women accuse him of being afraid of strong and independent women. No man in his right mind wants a woman who is miserable to be around. I really don't get women's love for drama. You would figure after working hard all day they would want to come home and enjoy themselves with their boyfriend or husband but no they want to nag and start arguments over trivial crap. I don't need that drama in my life.

I think we are talking about two different things here. In my eyes conflict is necessary in a relationship because often it is how you adjust to each other. Relationships are fluid, people's needs change. If you can resolve conflict well together then you don't have stress.

It is important that you are both able to communicate and that you get to the bottom of what the problem is.

Otherwise you end up in a situation you describe above: the woman is being demanding and frustrated and the man keeps withdrawing and wants peace. I agree, that's definitely not healthy.

Conflict is not drama though, it's about two human beings acknowledging different needs

I very much prefer women who are strong and assertive, ones who are confident and can hold and sway an audience on the strength of their personality – a woman who has no problem with looking you in the eye and telling you what is on her mind.

As been pointed out,

All I know is that the most interesting, accomplished, articulate and independent women I know are, for the most part, single

or tend to have rather loose relationships with men. These are the type of women who blend best with my chosen lifestyle. They are the ones who I am most comfortable with. Ones who will be full of passion and fire but don’t need to cling to a man to validate their worth as a woman.

I very much prefer women who are strong and assertive, ones who are confident and can hold and sway an audience on the strength of their personality – a woman who has no problem with looking you in the eye and telling you what is on her mind.

As been pointed out,

 

or tend to have rather loose relationships with men. These are the type of women who blend best with my chosen lifestyle. They are the ones who I am most comfortable with. Ones who will be full of passion and fire but don’t need to cling to a man to validate their worth as a woman.

Talking about me LOL ... We'd be a good match!

re:

2Sunny: " Why do Men have a hard time with a gal that has a strong personality? "

Because women (girls, females) are -according to the wishful stereotype- supposed to be warm, cuddly, cute (kind of like a puppy, but not) -and easily led.

(Smile)

-Rio

We'd be a good match!

That thought crosses my mind often as I read your posts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capricciosa

All I know is that the most interesting, accomplished, articulate and independent women I know are, for the most part, single

 

or tend to have rather loose relationships with men. These are the type of women who blend best with my chosen lifestyle. They are the ones who I am most comfortable with. Ones who will be full of passion and fire but don’t need to cling to a man to validate their worth as a woman.

 

Ok....I'm pretty articulate...have been told I'm interesting...pretty independent...single.....accomplished in some areas..... I'm also full of passion and fire.....some would say too much at times......

I've had loose relationships with men but have often wanted more (and they didn't...because of the types of guys they were). But did that mean that I wanted to cling to a man to validate my worth as a woman???

How about love? How about closeness? How about a desire for an emotional connection? You view those as someone just trying to validate their worth as a woman? How about calling it being human?

Some folks want what they can't or don't have. Upon getting it, they soon lose interest and focus on something else.

Ok....I'm pretty articulate...have been told I'm interesting...pretty independent...single.....accomplished in some areas..... I'm also full of passion and fire.....some would say too much at times......

 

I've had loose relationships with men but have often wanted more (and they didn't...because of the types of guys they were). But did that mean that I wanted to cling to a man to validate my worth as a woman???

 

How about love? How about closeness? How about a desire for an emotional connection? You view those as someone just trying to validate their worth as a woman? How about calling it being human?

I think that you misinterpret my position. I very much do have emotional connections with the women in my life. I would never have sex with a woman if there wasn’t an emotional connection. There is a woman who I have a very close and intimate intellectual and emotional relationship with. But she also has a life of her own separate from mine and happily so.

There are woman, and I suspect most, as well as many men, that need to be in a relationship, that have a very hard time doing anything on their own, that need to be constantly reminded that there is the other, to validate their own self-worth. It seems to me that many think of themselves and of others as being losers or otherwise less of a person if they aren’t in a relationship. These types of people cling onto you because they are not strong enough to go it alone.

Why do people remain in abusive relationships? It’s because they can’t handle being alone, preferring the abuse to seemingly loneliness.

Many men seem to prefer a woman that they can be lord and master over, king of his castle and all that rot. Many women are all to willing to submit to such a condition.

I prefer women who don’t have to be half of a couple to feel whole.

There is a world of difference between a woman who needs a man and one who wants a man.

I think that you misinterpret my position. I very much do have emotional connections with the women in my life. I would never have sex with a woman if there wasn’t an emotional connection. There is a woman who I have a very close and intimate intellectual and emotional relationship with. But she also has a life of her own separate from mine and happily so.

 

 

There are woman, and I suspect most, as well as many men, that need to be in a relationship, that have a very hard time doing anything on their own, that need to be constantly reminded that there is the other, to validate their own self-worth. It seems to me that many think of themselves and of others as being losers or otherwise less of a person if they aren’t in a relationship. These types of people cling onto you because they are not strong enough to go it alone.

 

Why do people remain in abusive relationships? It’s because they can’t handle being alone, preferring the abuse to seemingly loneliness.

 

Many men seem to prefer a woman that they can be lord and master over, king of his castle and all that rot. Many women are all to willing to submit to such a condition.

 

I prefer women who don’t have to be half of a couple to feel whole.

 

There is a world of difference between a woman who needs a man and one who wants a man.

Ok, that's different. I'm definately not one of the ones who HAS to have someone. I've told someone I don't want to date them anymore and I don't have ANYONE else in the background to date. And the person that happened recently with? I haven't dated since then and that's been for over a month.

I know the type you're talking about (both men and women) and I just don't get that.