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Her fiance is in prison for murder


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 11th December 2017, 11:47 PM   #16
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And this is a very sweet girl that found herself with a guy that she thought was really good and then killed someone

How in the world does this happen...

I agree with the previous poster. Let her move out and get her life together, then you can consider a relationship...

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 12th December 2017 at 8:52 AM.. Reason: troll callout ~T
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Old 11th December 2017, 11:59 PM   #17
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Geezz, we are high and mighty and judgemental on this thread folks. You don't even have any details of the how or why the guy that's in prison actually is in prison for. It could have been some fouled up legal proceeding. Could have been some sort of accident.. who knows.

Anyways, OP, I don't know what to tell or or what to make of your story. I knew this girl socially once -- she was the most drop dead beautiful and gorgeous girl -- and all she ever did was date dudes that were criminals or in jail. It was so strange and so cliche. Every time you'd see her and talk to her about stuff, always the same thing, she's all depressed waiting for her boyfriend to get our of prison.

Anyways, I guess my post is, just because this guy went to prison for murder does not mean he is going to come out with guns a blazing and go on a killing rampage on everyone that his gf or ex-gr slept with while he was locked up. And, okay, so this girl has a tattoo of her BF that went to prison. Lots of people have tatoos.

I guess find our if you guys are in a relationship and discuss where it will go and what are you going to do when this BF gets out of prison and she's still living with his family.
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Old 12th December 2017, 12:20 AM   #18
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15 to life really means a boatload of time. In most States that means you won't see a parole board for 15 years, murderers rarely get out on the first go round, next one would be 2 to 5 years. Reality it's at least 20, but more likely closer to life.

But none of that matters, dude like everyone else is saying, she is horrible with her decision making, and if she is into sex only relationships, I would only isn't one. Surely there are better options round where you live.
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Old 12th December 2017, 12:24 AM   #19
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Geezz, we are high and mighty and judgemental on this thread folks. You don't even have any details of the how or why the guy that's in prison actually is in prison for. It could have been some fouled up legal proceeding. Could have been some sort of accident.. who knows.

Anyways, OP, I don't know what to tell or or what to make of your story. I knew this girl socially once -- she was the most drop dead beautiful and gorgeous girl -- and all she ever did was date dudes that were criminals or in jail. It was so strange and so cliche. Every time you'd see her and talk to her about stuff, always the same thing, she's all depressed waiting for her boyfriend to get our of prison.

Anyways, I guess my post is, just because this guy went to prison for murder does not mean he is going to come out with guns a blazing and go on a killing rampage on everyone that his gf or ex-gr slept with while he was locked up. And, okay, so this girl has a tattoo of her BF that went to prison. Lots of people have tatoos.

I guess find our if you guys are in a relationship and discuss where it will go and what are you going to do when this BF gets out of prison and she's still living with his family.
The sentence kinda rules out alot of what you are saying. LIFE in most States are only given with 1st or 2nd degree murder, unless there is a pervious record. So, either he was charged and convicted of 1st or 2nd degree or he is a habitual criminal.
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Old 12th December 2017, 3:03 PM   #20
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She has plans to move out of his parents house. His parents are happy that she has been seeing me and is happy that she has plans to keep living her life. The reason he killed his best friend without getting to into detail is because he got into a drunken fight and shot his friend over 16 times over videogames. It's honestly just a ****ed situation all the way around, also he has been emotionally black mailing her to stay with him. I honestly don't care for him much. But we all grew up together and its sad to see, i personally see him doing closer to life due to the fact he plead guilty with no deal and didn't get an opportunity for early parole. Her decision making is terribly flawed but she really has no other choice, she doesn't make enough money to support herself and honestly we aren't even close to the point where I'll support her. I guess I'm gonna just have to see how things go. It's a pretty messed up situation all around and only time will tell. Thank you all for your advice
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Old 12th December 2017, 5:55 PM   #21
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Of all the girls in the world.... you have to choose thud one who conned with so much drama...Why?

Don't you like an easy life?
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Old 15th December 2017, 7:11 AM   #22
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OP, why would you choose such a risky situation for herself?

And how do you know she's told him anything about you, or told his parents about you? You can't exactly trust this girl to be honest. She could be spinning any old tales to you. If she'll cheat on her fiance, she'll have no problem lying to you too. Wait until her fiance hears the full truth. You had better hope he doesn't take it upon himself to have help on the outside to track you down. He killed his best friend over video games. You have been having sex with his supposed wife-to-be. Which do you think would enrage him more? If you don't think taking you out with the help of an equally homicidal friend is a possibility with someone who is clearly violent and unstable, you are being willfully naive and foolish.

Continue if you wish, but know that you are walking into a mine field that will more than likely not have a happy ending. Don't be so blind, man.

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Old 20th December 2017, 4:17 AM   #23
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I have talked to him for about 2 hours on the subject and he doesnt care. He told her to leave him and get with me. She decided that would be best but it's still a giant cluster ****. He knows everything. And he is honestly a cool dude. He has some anger issues but even he feels it's best that he is in prison. He is actually taking some great steps to have a good life for himself when he gets out but even he knows he is most likely doing closer to life than 15 years. It's a ****ty situation and there are a lot of details involved with him killing his friend drugs and alcohol plus some fighting and some other ****. At the moment I pretty much told her she has to get her **** together before we can have anything else between us.
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Old 20th December 2017, 8:59 PM   #24
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I have talked to him for about 2 hours on the subject and he doesnt care. He told her to leave him and get with me. She decided that would be best but it's still a giant cluster ****. He knows everything. And he is honestly a cool dude. He has some anger issues but even he feels it's best that he is in prison. He is actually taking some great steps to have a good life for himself when he gets out but even he knows he is most likely doing closer to life than 15 years. It's a ****ty situation and there are a lot of details involved with him killing his friend drugs and alcohol plus some fighting and some other ****. At the moment I pretty much told her she has to get her **** together before we can have anything else between us.
One small suggestion here....if you need her to get her $**t together before you can have a relationship, it might help her to know what that entails, specifically. Is it having her own place? Being financially self-supporting? Being honest with her bf about what she's doing with you? Tell her what it will take, and if she wants to be with you, she can make it happen. If she doesn't, you will learn more about her in the process.
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Old 21st December 2017, 4:51 AM   #25
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She knows exactly what it's gonna take. I dont care if she has her own place or can support herself. Most of it is she needs to be honest with herself. She needs to decide what she really wants. She knows how I feel and what I want. She just needs to decide if it's what she wants. She is for the most part self supporting yeah she lives with his parents but they don't want to see her wasting her life waiting on him to get out either and she has a place to live there as long as she wants to be there. We have done a lot of talk and at the moment we haven't seen eachother in about a week due to the conversation we had where I told her all of this and that i don't want to just be a stand in for this guy. That I want something more, something real, and if that's what she wants then she needs to decide. I dont want to play games anymore. I spend a lot of time working. If im not at work I'm building my business, and i have been putting a lot of things off so that i can see her and spend time with her. I just want to make sure I'm putting all this time and effort and putting these things on hold for more than just sex. Don't get me wrong the sex is great, put I dont need it. What I need is someone I can build a life with, someone that is willing to work as hard as I do to have a good and easy life. Nothing in life is free and it takes hard work and tough times to get to a point where life is easy. I want her in my life. She now has the chance to decide if she wants to be in mine too. So far it's looking decent but she is still letting this other guy control her, and the worst part is he is so emotionally abusive and verbally degrading I have no idea why she keeps going back to him. She is spending almost ever penny she makes putting money on his books and paying for him to call her and it's just completely bizzare to me that someone will stay in that situation. So for now it is what it is. And hopefully things workout. If not I have a bottle of whisky some fine Cuban cigars and I'll get over it.
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Old 21st December 2017, 5:14 AM   #26
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You need higher standards for the people you allow into your life, OP.
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Old 21st December 2017, 2:31 PM   #27
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I'm afraid you are in situation that is not going to get you what you want. If you have opened your heart to her, and she has not made time to see you in a week, then it doesn't seem that she is moving toward making the changes you need.

This young lady might benefit from some counseling to help her understand why she stays in a relationship with an incarcerated man at the detriment to her other relationships. I understand that she may have compassion for him, but she can maintain feelings of compassion while also moving on romantically and getting herself into something more healthy.
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Old 28th December 2017, 10:48 PM   #28
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If she is going to all that trouble for him, then her heart is with him not you. I also know someone who fell for a 'bad boy'. This is a super-intelligent woman. He burnt her, beat her and threatened her, yet she keeps returning to him. She has agreed to see him as 'friends' at the moment but I doubt she will enforce that. She can't seem to resist him, no matter how brutal he is. She feels sorry for him! I cannot understand how she can keep re-engaging with this dangerous nutcase, but it would not surprise me to read in the local newspaper one day that she is dead. Many have tried to help but she has a blind spot.

The point is that you are asking her to be with you not him. She might even be with you while he is in prison, but where does her heart truly lie? What if he gets paroled - is she suddenly going to remember she loves him and dump you? She has made some very 'submissive' decisions regarding this guy, one of which was to get his 'mark' (name) tattood on her body and another was to support him while he is in prison. I fear she is your Achilles Heel: even if she agrees to be with you, she will always be enslaved to him because this goes deeper than the rational mind.
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Last edited by spiderowl; 28th December 2017 at 10:51 PM..
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Old 28th December 2017, 10:52 PM   #29
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I donít which of you is the craziest. Her willing to wait 15 years or you willing to wait to see if she comes to her senses.
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Old 28th December 2017, 11:09 PM   #30
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I see 2 problems here.

1- He intentionally shot and killed his best friend. He shot him 16 times. That indicates a bit of an anger management problem. You are stealing his girlfriend away from him. He won't forget that by the time he gets out of prison. As what's his name said in that what was the name movie "I have developed a special set of skills.. I will find you and I will kill you". You think this guy won't look for you, find you and shoot you at least as many times as he shot his best friend over a video game?

2- The girl you are falling in love with, fell in love with and is STILL in love with a guy who shot his best friend 16 times over a video game. There's something wrong with HER.

I can't believe people really need to be told things that are so obvious.

I'd rather believe this thread was fake than believe a person can be that ignorant and stupid. This one could go either way.
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