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Wife and co-worker


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 31st January 2019, 2:31 PM   #46
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IMHO, your marriage is over. At least it should be as now you know how she really feels about you. If you or your family meant enough to her she would have never let it happen in the first place.

As for OM, strong chance he doesn't want more than screwing around with her. He's not committed to anyone and probably for a reason. I guarantee she will crawl back to you if you either push divorce or find your own AP.
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Old 31st January 2019, 5:40 PM   #47
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Why donít you suggest to your wife that you are equally as capable of having an inappropriate friendship with another gal... you know, to discuss all the ways your wife hasnít been a good partner, mother and sex partner?

How would she like you discussing all your PRIVATE matters with a gal that will comfort you and pacify YOUR needs?

IF she needs that outside your marriage then there is no marriage! Sheís betraying you and the marriage every time she talks to him!!!
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Old 31st January 2019, 7:20 PM   #48
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Sorry you're here and best of luck.
Find your anger and harness it.
Free yourself from infidelity.
You need to be willing to lose the marriage to save it.
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Old 5th February 2019, 10:10 AM   #49
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The thing that really stands out in your story is that she asked you if you were going to divorce her. That's a pretty big leap to take for someone who just assured you the affair was not physical. You believed her, and yet she still views her own behavior as beyond the point of retrieval.

That informs the situation more than I think you are willing to see.
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Old 2nd March 2019, 2:08 PM   #50
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Hi TCL, it's been sometime since your thread was active. Would you care to give an update on your situation? Hope you are doing well.
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Old 2nd March 2019, 7:30 PM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TCL View Post
I'm trying to figure out "Why" and that's something I may never know.
Why?
Because she's selfish. Seriously - that's all there is to it. You can dive into the psychology and figure out "why" she's that selfish - but, does it matter? If it were childhood trauma, postpartum depression, a personality disorder, or bad diet - the result is still selfishness and choices that are all about her.

You're a man, and that means your go-to strategy is to FIX this, and to take responsibility. You can't - because it's not about you. You're also part of the backdrop, a mental picture she paints to rationalize her bad choices. You can't fix this because she writes the script and you've already been cast as one of the villains in her soap opera.

This is why people advise ultimatums, that notion that you have to be willing to lose the marriage in order to save it. You have to go off script, step out of character and be the guy who doesn't fix this. This soap opera needs to be cancelled. If you want a happy marriage then force her to write a new script, the one that defines how she will live in your 2nd marriage. You will never trust her again unless it is she who writes, directs, and acts this new drama.
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Old 2nd March 2019, 7:41 PM   #52
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He's probably also married.
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"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 4th March 2019, 9:21 AM   #53
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Hi Folks, I guess the OP has checked out of this forum because he does'nt like what everyone is saying and does not agree with it. It is that or he has manned up, divorced his wife or is in the process of divorcing her and now couldn't be bothered with updating the good folk here. Either way his story is a closed chapter. My thoughts for what they're worth!
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