LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Marriage & Life Partnerships

Baby 2 months old,husband asks Y I havent lost the weight


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

Like Tree36Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11th March 2019, 4:08 PM   #16
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 23,532
Quote:
Originally Posted by CantGetEnuff View Post
Can I just slow everyone's roll for a moment?

The people saying "Dump your husband!" over THIS, and when they JUST had a baby together, are really really really overreacting an an emotional way.

Seriously? You want her to get a divorce with a new baby because her husband is disappointed she didn't slim down fast enough?

Now all of this being said, he is being impatient. We all recognize that.

.
He's not just impatient. He's out there trolling for new women! And my guess is he's not doing it for no reason. He's doing it to cheat right when he should be focused on supporting his wife and baby and worried about that instead of his penis. He's a worthless uncaring selfish pig.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
"The greatness of a nation & its moral progress can be judged by the way in its animals are treated." -Gandhi
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2019, 4:09 PM   #17
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 440
OP, I'm so sorry that your child's father is more concerned about your weight than his child's and his wife's health and well-being. I like what Garcon recommended saying.
Tamfana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2019, 4:11 PM   #18
Established Member
 
CantGetEnuff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: US
Posts: 177
@Wallys, I agree he is being a jerk. I just don't know that this is divorce-worthy, especially in light of having a brand new baby. I mean, if nothing else, I think this situation deserves some marriage counseling to try to get things turned around.
__________________
If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation.
CantGetEnuff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2019, 5:00 PM   #19
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 23,532
No one needs to live with someone that shallow who is degrading them and criticizing. Get out and get your child support mandated by the court and after the child is old enough, make him take joint custody so you can work AND have social life, and not just him living it up.
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2019, 9:00 PM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 11,865
Quote:
Originally Posted by CantGetEnuff View Post
He's not wrong in wanting his old wife back, but he needs to encourage your exercise and nutrition plans in a healthy way, NOT the way he is doing it.
He is wrong. First, she has not engaged him as her personal trainer. Second, as a new mom, she doesn't remotely have the bandwidth to think about this. He's just being extraordinarily selfish.

At this stage, his job is supporting her to support this little bundle of unceasing neediness that they've brought into the world.
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2019, 9:53 PM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 345
Don't you dare apologize for looking at his phone! That is so manipulative to turn this back on you. Your husband is an abusively self centered jerk.

Get some individual counseling to help you assert your own boundaries and self pride. This will help you to put a stop to your husband objectifying you and to stand up for yourself.

This is a problem with him - not your weight. Believe in you and let him own his own sh*t. You are not the cause of his other inappropriate behavior either. As someone else has said on this board "privacy" is having a curtain on your shower, hiding/locking your phone is called "secrecy." He doesn't get to do that with his wife.

Next, you have to set some firm boundaries regarding what you won't tolerate from your husband including his abusive attacks about your body an his conduct with other women. You can probably best do this with the support of a couples counselor.

If your husband cannot change his behavior then I think you should look to put him behind you. You don't deserve to be treated like this and you're posting here because you already know it's not right. Long term exposure to such an abusive person will damage you and your child. See what can be done - but, know that you are on the right side of this issue.
Turning point is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2019, 11:03 PM   #22
Established Member
 
amaysngrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Jersey Shore
Posts: 25,321
It took 10 months to put it on and you can realistically expect it to take 10 months to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight. Give yourself the time youíll need since it doesnít seem like youíll get that kindness from him.

What heís done and said is wrong in so many ways I canít even begin to describe it other than itís some abusive mind games heís got going on.

Getting thin to prove love??? Honey you just gave that man the biggest act of love, you gave him a son. If he doesnít understand that then he sounds pretty pathetic as a human can be.

Donít let him shift his guilt and shortcomings onto you. Please donít allow that to happen. You have to be extra kind to yourself since it doesnít seem as though heís going to be.
__________________
Fasting and prayer is good for a sinner
but a hungry man he needs his dinner.
- My Grandpa
amaysngrace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2019, 11:19 PM   #23
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 569
I'd tell your husband to take a hike. I had a baby in December, and I haven't even begun to lose pregnancy weight. It bothers me, but if my husband were to tell me to lose weight, I'd unleash hell on him. But he's not an *******.
TheRainbow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th March 2019, 2:11 PM   #24
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 185
I just want to say that I am so sorry. The things he said to you were cruel and uncalled for. Also, do not be sorry for looking at his phone. I think you would be wise to look at it more often. He seems extremely upset about that. Why?
imfine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th March 2019, 4:37 PM   #25
Established Member
 
waterwoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South West England
Posts: 2,077
I think you should lose some very significant weight. About 12 stone of useless, selfish, shallow man!!! Grrrrrr
waterwoman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2019, 12:22 PM   #26
Established Member
 
pepperbird's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 765
All I can say about this is that if men were the ones who got pregnant, it would be seen as a badge of honour to carry a few extra pounds.


op, I hate to say it, but I'm worried your husband is cheating on you ( or has found someone who caught his eye)and trying to salve his guilt. While I am NOT saying he is definitely having an affair, it is possible. Be vigilant.
pepperbird is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2019, 12:26 PM   #27
Established Member
 
pepperbird's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 765
When I read about men like this, I can't help but marvel at just ow shallow it is. It would be one thing if he said "honey, you have just done something really amazing, and I know it can be hard to rebound. Is there anything I can do to support you and make it easier for you to get to the shape you want to be in".
It may just be semantics, but it can make all the difference in the world.
pepperbird is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th March 2019, 9:20 PM   #28
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,399
I think that there is a real disconnect between men and women when it comes to the work of childbearing. Men don't go through pregnancy and childbirth so they lack understanding of how much a woman's body changes. I have also noticed that men tend to focus on their own neglected sexual and emotional needs when a baby arrives, while women end up bearing the brunt of childcare all while healing from childbirth.

OP, your husband is being very selfish and immature. He's also appallingly disrespectful. I don't know if you are interested in divorcing him since you just had a child. However, there is a strong possibility that he is having an affair based on his behavior. Find out if your husband is being unfaithful.

Last edited by BettyDraper; 15th March 2019 at 9:23 PM..
BettyDraper is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:11 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.