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Does your husband share you with other men?

Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 7th August 2017, 12:39 PM   #16
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Save yourself the trouble.

Get a D now.

How would you like sharing him with another woman, your best friend?

That is next.

will you use protection to avoid a pregnancy? Who pays the child support after the D?

will you get tested for stds before and after?

Just split the property and get the D. Do it before the deed.
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Old 7th August 2017, 12:46 PM   #17
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He is only 40 and can't keep up with you ? Hard to buy it unless he has a medical condition.

People have their own dos and donts in their marriage. We are no one to tell you what to do or not do. But the consequences aren't good.
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Old 7th August 2017, 12:46 PM   #18
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It sounds like he asked his best friend, before he asked you.

Like others, I think it will ruin the friendship and you should have an acquaintance you don't see often to do this with.

It's too close for comfort.
'Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to'
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Old 7th August 2017, 1:02 PM   #19
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Sharing your partner is a minefield of unintended consequences in any scenario but bringing your husband's best friend into it is a horrible idea. What if you, your husband, or the friend regret the experience? It will cause irreparable damage to your relationship. Even if it goes well, it will add complication and potential awkwardness to the mix. The friend may be single now, but what if he gets in a serious relationship? His future partners may not be thrilled with your set up and pressure him to drop the friendship.

Besides, do you really want your husbands friends thinking of you in that way? Do you want people in your community talking about and judging your marriage? What you do with your husband is no one's business but sleeping with his friends is basically begging for discussion and condemnation.

If u really want to do this- do it with a stranger. And be prepared for reality to be more complicated than the fantasy.

As a side note- I think it's disrespectful that your husband discussed this with his friend before talking to you.
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Old 7th August 2017, 1:03 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by lucy_in_disguise View Post
As a side note- I think it's disrespectful that your husband discussed this with his friend before talking to you.

A great point, and absolutely right.
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Old 7th August 2017, 1:08 PM   #21
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How is one time or other random here and there sex with this guy , going to satisfy you forever ? He has to live with you guys !
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Old 11th August 2017, 9:13 AM   #22
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So I'm going to go against the grain here and say go for it! Some people have bad experiences with this kind of kink, but there are tons of people who have success with this kink. If you think it's hot and he thinks it's hot, and you screw like horny teenagers because of it, then you're doing it right. Put your husband and your marriage first, sex second and you'll be fine. Have fun!
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Old 11th August 2017, 11:44 AM   #23
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We have several close friends that swing and or share for many years. We find them great to hang and socialize with as they are very happy fun loving couples. There is no judgement from us for their choices. They don't judge us that we don't roll that way.

I've seen it go bad for some that experimented with it as well when jealousy and insecurity arose. It really depends on the personalities of those involved. I don't agree with telling the OP she is destined for divorce. I know a lovely older couple that has been playing their entire 40+ yr marriage.

I believe sharing and swinging are practiced more than many people are aware of.
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
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Old 11th August 2017, 12:00 PM   #24
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Eh, not into it.

If I want to screw around, I'll stay non-exclusive.

Never had a ltr where I wanted to see my girlfriend get nailed. I would want to break the guy's face.

If we aren't exclusive, there really isn't that jealousy. She can do whatever she wants.

If a girl wanted me to "share her", then I'd be expecting an open relationship where I can go see other women too. And frankly, very few women that I've ever been with were open to that.

The one's that were, was when I was too young to even appreciate it. Which actually gives me the impression that they were open to it precisely because I was too stupid to take advantage.

I don't think women put themselves at a disadvantage in a relationship. If being open benefits the man more than the woman, then they don't seem to want any part of it.

Last edited by Bastile; 11th August 2017 at 12:06 PM..
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Old 11th August 2017, 12:08 PM   #25
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I've known and chatted with many people who are into this. There are various scenarios that can be boxed into this type of fantasy including the one where hubby just wants to watch his wife get banged by another man while he sits and gets off. Nothing more.

I agree that this fantasy isn't as uncommon as some people think but it does take a certain type of person and definitely a certain type of couple to go down this rabbit hole and come out of it unscathed.

Are you that couple? Who the hell knows.

I do worry that including his best friend in the mix. I think an objective third party would be much better but it's not my life or my marriage. As for him discussing and planning this out with his friend before talking to you? Yeah, disrespectful might be too kind of a word to use in my opinion.

As for me, HELL to the NO!

I have ZERO interest in sharing or being shared. Nothing turns me on more than knowing we are each others most wicked fantasy.
"Stupid is as stupid does" - Forrest Gump.
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Old 12th August 2017, 8:49 AM   #26
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I have seen too many marriages end this way.
Do not do this.
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Old 12th August 2017, 12:14 PM   #27
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OP has left the thread...I repeat the OP has left the thread.

You are a fool if you believe that having each others passwords = trust.
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Old 6th October 2017, 5:20 AM   #28
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I think this thread is dead but I'll comment anyway.

My husband and I are both into this. He likes to share me and vice versa.

My recommendation is to move slowly into it with role playing. When I get excited about a guy or he's hitting all the right spots I tend to get louder and talk dirty compared to when I'm with my husband. If your husbands not expecting this it could crush him. Buy a toy that is much bigger than your husband and start role playing that your are having sex with the friend or another guy. Use comments like "I've never been f***ed like this before" and "I'm going to f*** him all of the time" " he's bigger and better than you". Etc. than talk about. What did he like what didn't he like? Same for you? How do you feel afterwards? Guilty? Excited? Disgusted? Eager?

If all is good then progress from there. Role play that the friend did you while he was at work, record yourself playing alone but your acting like the friend is there and have you husband listen to the recording, send text messages as if it was actually happening. Then discuss all of this again. Better to move slowly than risk your marriage.

Make this an active part of your marriage, not something that is hidden. Marriage first than outside fun. Always marriage first. Communicate often. Be understanding of each other's feelings and discuss the potential negative consequences.
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Old 6th November 2017, 10:40 PM   #29
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Honbun, interesting question you have posed, i see a lot of replies and some of them had hitt he nail on the head with there answers. Why does he want to involve his best mate? I am 53 and my wife is 31, we have also talk about having mmf, and after lots and lots of discussions, we said no one we know. even if we went to a mff. I can not keep up to her and i know i am not going to be around for ever, so why cant she enjoy her self... but keep it simple, dont include some one u know, i have read other forums where the husband best friend got invited and it all turn out dandy and good, and they have it regularly. who knows how it all could turn out, may be nothing bad will happen.
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