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I'm cheating, and it feels great!


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 9th March 2019, 8:59 PM   #1
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I'm cheating, and it feels great!

In relationships, I've always been the paranoid overbearing type. I know I've been suffocating in the past. I couldn't help it. It's just how I've loved. Sometimes my jealousy or paranoia created some pretty tough times. Some times it was valid, sometimes it wasn't.

Since last year August, I met and dated 2 girls simultaneously until now. One is portugese/chinese mixed, and the other is Italian/Brazilian. It's been about 7 months. Neither knows about the other. They are full on monogamous (as far as I know ).

Financially there is a down side. I've spent a lot of money on multiple birthdays, valentines, xmas gifts and other stuff. I've even had to visit the cinema to watch the same movie twice.

I know it sounds terrible, but they are the healthiest relationships I have ever been in. I am not jealous at all of either. I love, I give them space freely and I treasure my time with each. I no longer hang on every comment. I don't unpick their thought processes about previous exes, or colleagues, or other guys that try to come on to them. I'm not on edge anymore. I just smile inside and let it go. I'm no longer vulnerable!

I know it is not popular to describe the upside of cheating, but I wonder if there is a space in this forum to celebrate the merits of cheating?
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Old 9th March 2019, 9:04 PM   #2
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Nope. No upside to lying and manipulating just because you feel better.
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Old 9th March 2019, 9:37 PM   #3
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What does their nationality have to do with anything?

It's funny how you say they are monogamous with you "as far as you know." LOL....if not, the three of you could be sharing the same STDs so have fun with that.
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Old 9th March 2019, 9:40 PM   #4
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You know, there would be nothing wrong with that if you had just told them you're multidating and been honest.
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Old 9th March 2019, 10:09 PM   #5
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Why can't you just be open about wanting to be in an open relationship?
Or would you freak out if either of the ladies would have another guy on the side?
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Old 9th March 2019, 10:17 PM   #6
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I'm not surprised it feels great if you've had a history of being insecure and jealous in relationships. Now you're playing the 'get them before they get me, game. But how do you think this is going to end? You won't end up happy in the long run. Somethings got to give, as they say.

Pretty slimy game you're playing. You say you 'love' but this isn't the definition of the word love. You don't care that you might really hurt one or both when they find out.
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Old 10th March 2019, 12:01 AM   #7
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I have done some things that I should not have done but at least I didn't feel great about doing them. What you are doing is screwed up, period. You have nothing to feel great about.
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Old 10th March 2019, 2:51 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElKay View Post
Why can't you just be open about wanting to be in an open relationship?
Or would you freak out if either of the ladies would have another guy on the side?
My thoughts exactly.
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Old 10th March 2019, 4:15 AM   #9
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If the healthiest relationship you have ever been in is one (er, two) that are based on lies and deceit, you have bigger issues than we can reasonably help with.

This won't last forever, though. The chances that you won't eventually slip up and inadvertently reveal your true colours are slim. Know that your cheating party will come to end real fast once the lights go on.
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:12 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
What does their nationality have to do with anything?

It's funny how you say they are monogamous with you "as far as you know." LOL....if not, the three of you could be sharing the same STDs so have fun with that.
I have had STDs before. All cured.
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:14 AM   #11
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You know, there would be nothing wrong with that if you had just told them you're multidating and been honest.
Yes, I think you are right. If I knew I was looking for something open I would have made it clear. I've always been a monogamous person. This time it just seemed to happen. I never guessed that dating these two people would have continued for so long.
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:17 AM   #12
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Why can't you just be open about wanting to be in an open relationship?
Or would you freak out if either of the ladies would have another guy on the side?
I'm not open. I'm just dating these two. I'm not looking for anyone else. If my partners had other men, I think I would just let go of them, and let them be happy together? Totally not possessive at this point.
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:23 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Fair View Post
I'm not surprised it feels great if you've had a history of being insecure and jealous in relationships. Now you're playing the 'get them before they get me, game. But how do you think this is going to end? You won't end up happy in the long run. Somethings got to give, as they say.

Pretty slimy game you're playing. You say you 'love' but this isn't the definition of the word love. You don't care that you might really hurt one or both when they find out.
Yeah, I am always careful about being exposed. I don't seem to mind if one catches me. I've tried my best to be loving to both. Maybe I'm cold to love now, after being in a few bad relationships. Being hurt is part of being in a relationship. As we all do, I safe guard myself. We are all free spirits. The definition of love is different to everyone.
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:28 AM   #14
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I have had STDs before. All cured.
Well, you know that doesn't make you immune, right?
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:30 AM   #15
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I have done some things that I should not have done but at least I didn't feel great about doing them. What you are doing is screwed up, period. You have nothing to feel great about.
I felt bad of course. I went against my foundations, but in my case, in my point in life, the ends justify the means. I am happy.

To be honest, keeping 2 monogamous relationships is difficult. You end up never having any alone time because you're jumping back and forth. I've tried splitting up with one of them, the brazilian. She is going back to university this summer and will be far away. I've made it clear to her that I don't intend to keep the relationship going. We turned into FWB, and for the past 2 months we didn't do anything and I assumed it had ended, until she jumped into my bed and boned me. She's too good in the sack to give up!
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