LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating > Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

GF Vacation to Italy - How to Control My Jealousy?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Like Tree200Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 6th July 2017, 9:36 AM   #31
Established Member
 
kendahke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: 38.978447, -77.018515
Posts: 6,501
OP: You assume that your girlfriend is these guys' cup of tea... or bottle of prosecco.. just because YOU find her beautiful.

She's your preference, not every other guys' preference. Keep that in mind. She might be too (fill in the blank) to them and would rather take a pass or bring someone else more to their liking.

This boils down to you not trusting your girlfriend and the sooner you quit lying to yourself, the better off you'll be.
__________________
If the person you're with treats you in any way other than well, and you keep sticking around trying to make it work, you're no longer a victim of what they're doing--you're a volunteer. ~ Derrick Jaxn
kendahke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 9:53 AM   #32
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 9,334
You just need to talk to her. Tell her you trust her but you are uneasy about her being at a seaside villa with two guys. Doesn't hurt you to be honest and I think that she would appreciate you being open and honest about it as well.

She needs to know how you feel. That this does trouble you. If for anything else, she'll know that this bothers you and kinda proves to her that you have deep feelings for her. Because if you didn't give a crap, then you wouldn't care what she was doing.

But, bottling it up is only going t cause problems for you down the road. This might spill out later and get ugly. Just talk to her, find out what assurances she can give you to put you at ease about this.

You just need to talk. Because others are right. She's not your wife. She's just a girlfriend and she really doesn't owe you anything. Hate to be blunt, but it is what it is.
Chi townD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 11:59 AM   #33
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 391
Quote:
Originally Posted by usa1ah View Post
Does the husband of the friend know about the villa?


I don't know if he does. I was only told he is a stick in the mud and this lady would rather have my gf come since she is more fun. If it's the lady who I think it is I met her once. Very attractive fit lady. Has a 2 year old and was told she is pregnant now. She's probably early 30s.


Of course many things are running thru my head. Just a thought but maybe this lady wants to try to hook her Italian co workers up with a single flirty fun American and hit the clubs and all that. At her age she might not know many single ladies aside from my gf.


Maybe she wants to impress these guys bc it might help her career rather than bring boring hubby along.
Wookin Pa Nub is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 12:04 PM   #34
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 391
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chi townD View Post
You just need to talk to her. Tell her you trust her but you are uneasy about her being at a seaside villa with two guys. Doesn't hurt you to be honest and I think that she would appreciate you being open and honest about it as well.

She needs to know how you feel. That this does trouble you.

Yes I agree. We never finished the topic and it hasn't been brought up since. I think I need to do it soon before their plans are set. The trip is in about a month. My gf is on vacation in a couple days with her kids and a close cousin. I don't want to bother her with this while she is on vacation.
Wookin Pa Nub is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 12:09 PM   #35
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 391
Quote:
Originally Posted by kendahke View Post
OP: You assume that your girlfriend is these guys' cup of tea... or bottle of prosecco.. just because YOU find her beautiful.

She's your preference, not every other guys' preference. Keep that in mind. She might be too (fill in the blank) to them and would rather take a pass or bring someone else more to their liking.

This boils down to you not trusting your girlfriend and the sooner you quit lying to yourself, the better off you'll be.


Well she gets a lot of attention here at home so I assume that translates over to Italy. Who doesn't like a tall in shape blonde?


I do trust her. A big part is the thoughts of guys constantly hitting on her, having a good time with her partying, sight seeing, etc drives me mad. Its that I cant control the situation.
Wookin Pa Nub is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 12:30 PM   #36
Established Member
 
Michelle ma Belle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,953
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wookin Pa Nub View Post
Well she gets a lot of attention here at home so I assume that translates over to Italy. Who doesn't like a tall in shape blonde?


I do trust her. A big part is the thoughts of guys constantly hitting on her, having a good time with her partying, sight seeing, etc drives me mad. Its that I cant control the situation.
This says it all.
__________________
"Stupid is as stupid does" - Forrest Gump.
Michelle ma Belle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 2:05 PM   #37
Established Member
 
Space Ritual's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,639
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wookin Pa Nub View Post
I don't know if he does. I was only told he is a stick in the mud and this lady would rather have my gf come since she is more fun.

Dear lord

Really? lol . You were TOLD that?

I think you have your answer, Asking any more questions will only serve as an even better attempt at gaslighting. Run from this now while you will not get your heart broken.

Hot Yoga teacher going to an Italian villa with a gf and 2 guys. Yeah that has above board socialization written all over it...

I'm very sorry but in a situation such as this you need to either question everything or question nothing.

You wrote in here so you are questioning something, even if it is questioning yourself and your judgement.

You'll fall in love again...give yourself the chance to do it with someone who does not have such poor boundaries.
__________________
I promise henceforth, to be nice....until the time that I'm not so nice again. Then I'll be nice again for a brief period of time.
Space Ritual is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 4:13 PM   #38
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Depends on the day
Posts: 985
Quote:
Originally Posted by kendahke View Post
OP: You assume that your girlfriend is these guys' cup of tea... or bottle of prosecco.. just because YOU find her beautiful.

She's your preference, not every other guys' preference. Keep that in mind. She might be too (fill in the blank) to them and would rather take a pass or bring someone else more to their liking.

This boils down to you not trusting your girlfriend and the sooner you quit lying to yourself, the better off you'll be.
I think the OP has already stated that she has been on solo trips already with no problems. He didn't have a problem with the trip to Italy. He has a problem with her spending a weekend at a villa with just her gf and two guys. Why can some poeple not understand that most couple would not be ok with this.

There is a story I think on here, were a wife went to San Francisco with a male friend for a mini vacation. When she got back it was to a empty house. Husband and son moved out.

It is not ok to spend time like this with the opposite sex. Why do you think there are so many poeple on this type of forum? Be cause some poeple put themselves in situations that it can happen. Then the excuses start, I had to much to drink, it happened so fast that I didn't realize until it was to late, blah blah bla.

Why keep harping on that he is jealous, he told her to have fun when she decided to go to Italy, everything was good until she told him she going to a villa and staying with two guys that they don't even know, but the friend does so that makes it ok.
usa1ah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 4:16 PM   #39
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Depends on the day
Posts: 985
Read CaliforniaBoys thread.
usa1ah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 4:24 PM   #40
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Depends on the day
Posts: 985
Read gabby898
usa1ah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 4:26 PM   #41
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Depends on the day
Posts: 985
Read baileycat
usa1ah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 4:30 PM   #42
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Depends on the day
Posts: 985
Read t3sla. This guy was jealous.
usa1ah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 5:00 PM   #43
Established Member
 
lolablue17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,297
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chi townD View Post
You just need to talk to her. Tell her you trust her but you are uneasy about her being at a seaside villa with two guys. Doesn't hurt you to be honest and I think that she would appreciate you being open and honest about it as well.

She needs to know how you feel. That this does trouble you. If for anything else, she'll know that this bothers you and kinda proves to her that you have deep feelings for her. Because if you didn't give a crap, then you wouldn't care what she was doing.

But, bottling it up is only going t cause problems for you down the road. This might spill out later and get ugly. Just talk to her, find out what assurances she can give you to put you at ease about this.

You just need to talk. Because others are right. She's not your wife. She's just a girlfriend and she really doesn't owe you anything. Hate to be blunt, but it is what it is.
I totally agree.

More to that... You have the right to feel bad about your gf sleeping in a villa in Italy with 2 guys, including all the intimate atmosphere that comes with it. It doesn't mean that you're accusing her for possible cheating. It just means you're not approved with what you know she's planning.

She must know about it verbally. Say it clearly. If she loves you, she can make some efforts, to meet you half way, so she can have all the fun, while keeping you calm and secure, by changing some sleeping arrangements.

Think about it.. How can she have fun there, while knowing that the man she loves feel stressed and has a really bad time? It doesn't make sense.

Last edited by lolablue17; 6th July 2017 at 5:04 PM..
lolablue17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 6:02 PM   #44
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 266
Listen, I've been married for almost three decades now, I wouldn't mind my wife to go on a vacation abroad with a longtime female friend that I know, and she wouldnžt mind me doing the same.

But this situation is sadly quite different.
She's going overseas with a relatively recent acquaitance, someone she knows very little about and that you have never seen (or just barely). To me, that would not be appropriate.

To have a romantic weekend with some strange guys in a place like the italian seaside is very inappropriate, it would be unacceptable to me, to my wife and more or less to everyone I know...

That's not just being jealous, that's having a very good reason to be jealous.

You should also consider the fact that the romantic weekend came up some time after she told you about the trip, that's a very bad sign.

I am italian, live in Italy and know very well how italian men think...
Two guys offering a nice we to a couple of hot ladies are thinking they have a goood chance to get laid, and will do everything they can to bed them, I can assure you. Unless they're gay, of course...

The claim that they might not like them is pure nonsense, they're not trying to marry them, they just want to bang them. not bad looking will do...

That doesn't mean your gf will surely bang some stranger, but she will have to turn down a very insistent courtship, you can bet your ass on that.

What is true is that you can't put your foot down, or tell her what she can or can't do. You can't control her.

But you can control yourself and decide if you want to be in a relationship where all of this is allowed... Because you need to be aware that this will set a precedent and these kind of things will happen again, you were alright with it why would you not be anymore?

I wouldn't want a relationship like that, but we all think with our own head, so you'll need to decide what is allright to you, what you are comfortable with...

What you could do is have a deep and serious talk with her about relationships, appropriateness, respect and what you both want.
Then decide what you feel safe with
italianjob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th July 2017, 6:37 PM   #45
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: 8,885 feet above sea level
Posts: 2,531
Just saying - perhaps the two men in question are a couple?
__________________
2014 No Contact Guide
Mrin is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How to control my jealousy?! Dancer0001 Dating 1 21st April 2012 6:18 AM
How do you overcome jealousy when your SO is on vacation w/o you? mma_j Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 0 6th July 2008 11:36 PM
Jealousy out of control sinead Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 12 9th June 2005 3:16 PM
Can't control my jealousy anifan Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 13 3rd January 2005 10:53 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:26 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.