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I don't want to regret dumping him?


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Old 17th April 2019, 7:14 AM   #1
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I don't want to regret dumping him?

Please help! - We are 24 (him) and 23 (me)

Everything was AMAZING at first, he made effort and was just generally lovely.

We are now 4 months in.

1 - He said he could come on my family holiday but sneakily booked another holiday and I found out by asking him.

2 - He tells me he thinks girls are fit in the street and once flirted with a cashier to get a discount and left me stood in a corner with our bags whilst he did so

3 - He said he's a lone wolf

4 - Doesn't want to stay over at mine, only once a week and we live close by with our friends

5 - He forgot we were going to this concert and booked to go home

6 - he said he let a girl in his office borrow his socks? and I find this weird lol..he had a spare pair

7 - I helped him to try and find a house and he disregarded this help and said he doesn't like being told what to do

8 - Lastly - for my birthday I asked if we could go out because I had been stuck in my flat revising and he said he would plan something, we didn't end up going out because he didn't want to spend money

Obviously he can be nice, and we get on extremely well but I don't get why all this has happened?

I don't ask for him to stay a lot, nor do I really call or text him, I'm quite independent and have my own thing going on. I've occasionally maybe once a month asked him to stay one weeknight because I've been stressed or just want his company to which he has flat out refused.
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Old 17th April 2019, 7:19 AM   #2
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If you're not happy you ought to dump him, life is simply too short to waste on settling for less.
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Old 17th April 2019, 7:25 AM   #3
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You have only been dating 4 months & yet have this litany of complaints. Most of them center around him not being generous of spirit & doing a lot of things to remain at arm's length away from you emotionally. To me all of that reeks of a man who does not want a relationship with you.

I'm not sure why you would regret dumping him?
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Old 17th April 2019, 7:44 AM   #4
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Everything you've outlined about the situation says you just THINK he's your boyfriend. He doesn't even remotely behave like a guy who is interested in a relationship with you. I'm sorry this probably hurts but it sounds like you're making more out of it than there is. He's just a friend but you want more than he is willing to offer.
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Old 17th April 2019, 7:55 AM   #5
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thanks, no I think that's my main hurt at the moment that it's obvious he's not really into it and it's not the first time he has been like this!

I am good friends with a friend of his and he told him to treat me well! - so just shows he's got a track record
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Old 17th April 2019, 7:59 AM   #6
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You know this is how he is. So either be OK with it or walk. You are not going to change him.

From where I sit it seems you will have more regret trying to force this to work then you will regret walking away.
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Old 17th April 2019, 8:07 AM   #7
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Wow, you have a list this long after 4 months? After that long there are usually still more red flags to come.

In whatever way he just doesn't seem interested in putting in any effort into the relationship. If he describes himself as a lone wolf he's someone who is happy with his own company and making his own plans, and disregards those of his friends/partner. I know it doesn't seem like it from your current point of view, but if you leave you will be a LOT happier. It's hard enough to make that decision, but contrary to popular belief leaving usually works out a lot better for you than you think it will.
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Old 17th April 2019, 8:18 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilypel View Post
thanks, no I think that's my main hurt at the moment that it's obvious he's not really into it and it's not the first time he has been like this!

I am good friends with a friend of his and he told him to treat me well! - so just shows he's got a track record

Then let it go. He's just not into it and you can't force it. Frankly, I don't see the need to "break up". There's nothing to break up from. There wasn't any "relationship" anyway. Don't call or reach out to him first. Let him call you and if he wants to hang out you can tell him you wanted more than he was offering and now you're moving on and wish him well. But let him call you first.
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Old 17th April 2019, 9:15 AM   #9
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Nothing for your Birthday even after saying he would plan something?

There are lots of things he could plan if money is tight.

I'm sorry to say that it doesn't look good.
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Old 17th April 2019, 10:16 AM   #10
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Should have dumped him over 3 months ago.....
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Old 17th April 2019, 10:31 AM   #11
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I'm curious, did he actually ask you to be his girlfriend or were you guys friends with benefits? He isn't acting like a bf. Whatever he is to you dump him because he doesn't have your interests in his mind. He sees you as a convenience when he needs you.
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Old 18th April 2019, 9:42 AM   #12
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My boyfriend's sister interferes?

We have been going out for 4 months.

The first occasion was here saying 'yeah you like her for now' as he started going out with me.

Secondly, we were meant to go on a mini weekend break (1 night) and she told him not to, so we didn't

Third, he said he would come on my family holiday and was excited and then suddenly met up with her and booked a holiday with his siblings and all their friends and didn't tell me until I asked?

They went to a comedy show together and he said 'oh I should've invited you' it was her and her friend?

She's quite off with me when we meet, although I have tried to make loads of effort.

In real life they're just normal brother and sister she just seems to be able to influence him - so weird!!!!
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Old 18th April 2019, 10:12 AM   #13
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I'd dump him. Too much to deal with down the line. Especially when he's so easily influenced by her/ditches you for her and doesn't include you in their plans or communicate with you about said plans. Also sounds to me the sister is jealous/doesn't want her brother taken away.

I wouldn't want to deal with either of them, the boyfriend or the sister lol
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Old 18th April 2019, 10:53 AM   #14
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II would dump him and tell him when he becomes man enough to stop letting his jealous sister interfere then maybe he will find a woman.
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Old 18th April 2019, 11:10 AM   #15
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I thought you were going to dump this guy? You already posted a litany of complaints about him after only dating a short while. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/rom...et-dumping-him now you are adding more complaints. Where is the upside of staying with him? I'm not sure it's the sister's fault. It seems more like you are not a priority to him.
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