dancingintherain12 Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 Lets say you date for a while like 3 months or so. Why or why not? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 There is no "supposed to" about anything for dating. Dating is about finding out if the two of you match in things such as how you relate to each other and your core values. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 Is this the same guy who you've already dumped for not being attentive enough? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/667284-ended-guy-who-i-dated-2-months-words-encouragement Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancingintherain12 Posted November 20, 2018 Author Share Posted November 20, 2018 Is this the same guy who you've already dumped for not being attentive enough? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/667284-ended-guy-who-i-dated-2-months-words-encouragement Yes. Things are looking up for us, he’s gradually opening up more and we are getting closer. Yet I dunno, just wondering how it’s typically supposed to go and asking for everyone’s experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelliousme Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 Call? No. Text? Yes. In every exclusive relationship I've had, we text every day. Even if we don't have "meaningful" conversations due to being busy and all, a simple good morning or good night text is usually exchanged. Keep in mind though, everyone and every relationship is different. I have friends who only communicate with their boyfriends a few times a week and only see them once a week. But they're completely fine with it and prefers it that way. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 (edited) It depends. There is nobody I would want to be in contact with on a daily basis that I have only known for 90 days. I would feel smothered. 3 months in, I would expect to talk about 3x per week & see the other person at least 2x but not daily. That's too much too soon for me & it creates an artificially accelerated sense of intimacy that is not sustainable. You want to get to know the other person gradually over time. How you interact at 90 days should be a pale comparison to how you act at 90 weeks (approximately 1.5 years). When you try to go to fast, you fail to develop a foundation & it crumbles as fast as it began. Some people think they need that level of contact & they best find somebody who wants to give it. Edited November 20, 2018 by d0nnivain 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 I believe Donnivain is talking about calls. I think she is saying she prefers to speak on the phone 3 times a week. Texting and calling are not the same thing AT ALL. Texting someone 3 times/days a week and calling them to have a full phone conversation 3 days a week are two different things if you ask me. 3 phone calls a week is usually enough for a lot of ppl. Texting on the other hand, people feel a need to do a lot of it because you don't really connect much through texting. It is extremely hard to build a real and solid relationship through text. This is why it is important to see each other and/or talk on the phone. It is important to do more of whatever helps you build a GENUINE connection. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 I believe Donnivain is talking about calls. I think she is saying she prefers to speak on the phone 3 times a week. Texting and calling are not the same thing AT ALL. Texting someone 3 times/days a week and calling them to have a full phone conversation 3 days a week are two different things if you ask me. 3 phone calls a week is usually enough for a lot of ppl. Texting on the other hand, people feel a need to do a lot of it because you don't really connect much through texting. It is extremely hard to build a real and solid relationship through text. This is why it is important to see each other and/or talk on the phone. It is important to do more of whatever helps you build a GENUINE connection. No, texting every day also makes me crazy. I dated some guy a while back, before meeting my husband, who started this BS about texting me good morning every day. Rather than making me feel loved & wanted it pissed me off. After about a week of getting these annoying things, I asked him to stop. He thought I was nuts. We didn't last much longer. In contrast, when my husband or I are apart, even for a night. . .the good morning & good night texts feel like a lifeline. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 @Donnivain - lmao, i think that would drive anyone crazy. I've never dated anyone who texted me good morning every single day, lol. Texting is a skill. Gotta know how and when to check in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 This is a completely individual question. You’re going to get different answers from everyone. I have always liked daily texts from day one (when I liked the guy). My bf has never gone one day without contact since the day we met 5 years ago. We both have busy lives and busy jobs, but there’s 24 hours in a day. There’s always time at some point to reach out and check in with someone you care about. The key is to find someone whose level of daily contact somewhat matches your need for it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 There is no "supposed to" about it. It's what each person feels motivated to do. Question is: do you motivate him enough for him to arse himself? If you don't, not much can be done about it outside of accepting it if you insist upon being with this guy. What you need to ask is: what is comfortable for them? Are they even interested enough in you to maintain a demanding texting schedule? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dateme Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 Nobody has time to talk everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Daniel95 Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 It totally depends. Some people like to text each other everyday sharing memes or other things. I don't like texting everyday because eventually you'll run out of things to talk about. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 If I'm hooked on the girl I usually stay in constant contact with her. Just the way it is. It's a little bit less pronounced at the start of course.... Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted November 21, 2018 Share Posted November 21, 2018 I'll second (third?) what kendahke and basil said, there is no "supposed to" in relationships for either side. You do what feels comfortable and natural to you. That's what dating is for - you find out whether the way you interact with each other is compatible. I'll add this though: If you've expected him to text or call every day so far in a 3 month relationship, there is a fair chance he thinks he's putting in all the effort here. You should text or call him every once in a while - he'll appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 Before exclusivity,...bad idea After exclusivity,...more fuzzy. But I think it would get old. Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 (edited) We check in by text every day. Some days we exchange more texts than others. We don't do the "good morning" and "good night" thing though. I did that in my last relationship and it became a weird expectation that felt negative if one of us missed saying it, but I think that was unique to that relationship. Still, I'm not doing that in my current relationship. We check in about how our days were and make plans for upcoming dates, and share other things as they come up, but it's definitely not constant. We both have very busy jobs and both have kids and outside interests so we are not texting all day long, which would feel like a waste of time. Edited to add: We both reach out to each other equally. Edited November 22, 2018 by greymatter above Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 No, texting every day also makes me crazy. I dated some guy a while back, before meeting my husband, who started this BS about texting me good morning every day. Rather than making me feel loved & wanted it pissed me off. After about a week of getting these annoying things, I asked him to stop. He thought I was nuts. We didn't last much longer. In contrast, when my husband or I are apart, even for a night. . .the good morning & good night texts feel like a lifeline. Wait, maybe I'm missing something here. Based on your description, that boyfriend and your husband were doing the same thing, texting as frequently. Why is one annoying and the other a lifeline? Link to post Share on other sites
SophieG Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 Personally, I’ve been dating this guy for 5 months. Since we started talking, we text each other everyday (some days more than others). I usually text him good morning since I wake up after him and he doesn’t want to wake me up. Sometimes we only exchange 2 or 3 sentences since we’re busy, but he calls me every night before going to bed (calls can go from 5 to 20 minutes). It’s our routine, but I don’t get mad if he doesn’t call one day or if he answers my texts 8 hours later. But for us, from the start, we had daily communication. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Wait, maybe I'm missing something here. Based on your description, that boyfriend and your husband were doing the same thing, texting as frequently. Why is one annoying and the other a lifeline? One is a boyfriend,...one is a husband. It is a similar comparison between a casual date,...exclusive boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
DrNo1962 Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Lets say you date for a while like 3 months or so. Why or why not? A little bit more context would be good here. Are you guys exclusive / had "the talk" about being in a relationship? 3 months is a long time to be just dating someone and not feeling like you want to be exclusive. Usually by week 7-10 you should feel like you want to take things to the next level. Also how many times a week are you seeing each other irl? If he has his **** together, he is probably busy with work, catching up with friends and seeing his family in between the times he's seeing you so doesn't have the time to text you. Have you made it clear to him that you miss not being able to hear from him in between the times you see each other? If not, you should do so and see how he responds. He may not have the time to have text/phone conversations every day, but he should be doing things to surprise you and make you feel special. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancingintherain12 Posted December 4, 2018 Author Share Posted December 4, 2018 A little bit more context would be good here. Are you guys exclusive / had "the talk" about being in a relationship? 3 months is a long time to be just dating someone and not feeling like you want to be exclusive. Usually by week 7-10 you should feel like you want to take things to the next level. Also how many times a week are you seeing each other irl? If he has his **** together, he is probably busy with work, catching up with friends and seeing his family in between the times he's seeing you so doesn't have the time to text you. Have you made it clear to him that you miss not being able to hear from him in between the times you see each other? If not, you should do so and see how he responds. He may not have the time to have text/phone conversations every day, but he should be doing things to surprise you and make you feel special. Nah I ended it with him a week ago, I had previous threads on him. And right when I ended it I met an amazing guy where I told him I’d like to hear from him and he does it. He’s amazing for me so far in every way there’s no game playing like the guy I posted this thread about. Never settle ladies and gents. Once you know something is off about then, tell them and they don’t make effort- cut them out. This new guy is so open and in touch with his feelings it’s a breath of fresh air. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrNo1962 Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Nah I ended it with him a week ago, I had previous threads on him. And right when I ended it I met an amazing guy where I told him I’d like to hear from him and he does it. He’s amazing for me so far in every way there’s no game playing like the guy I posted this thread about. Never settle ladies and gents. Once you know something is off about then, tell them and they don’t make effort- cut them out. This new guy is so open and in touch with his feelings it’s a breath of fresh air. Agree with you on that. If you let the person know something isn't right and they don't respond....cut them loose. Link to post Share on other sites
zouz71 Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Call? No. Text? Yes. Both Side ? OR this applies to her only ? Link to post Share on other sites
zouz71 Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 When dating, is the guy supposed to text you or call everyday? In a relationship is a guy supposed to do more than a woman !!!? does applies also to initiation of anything that could make them both happy ? Link to post Share on other sites
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