shoegal911 Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 We met Monday (2 weeks ago). We had coffee. Then he said he wanted to see me again. That night we had drinks at his place and slept together. He texted me 2 days later. 2 days after that (Friday) we had a date. Drinks, dinner, and a movie at his place. Nothing happened. I had my period and I woke up sick the next day. Its now been a week and nothing. I texted him myself last Wednesday. He just said "yeah see you later". Hes not interested right? Should I write something to him. If so, what? Please help...
Happy Lemming Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 Invite him over for a nice home cooked meal... You've already slept together, so he won't get the "wrong message". If he responds, Great... if he doesn't, I'm afraid its over. 1
Zahara Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 (edited) You love him? Don’t jump head first. If you can’t keep your emotions in check after two dates, you need to lay off the sex. It messes with your brain. Dating is a process in which you use to get to know if a man is worth pursuing. Next time, get to know someone first and figure out if you both have similar interest and intentions then go from there. If you do want to have sex, great. Enjoy the moment. He’s a stranger — don’t have any expectations that it’s going to warrant interest or longevity. You texted him and he gave you a blah response. Don’t text him anymore. Edited November 10, 2018 by Zahara
d0nnivain Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 You can't possibly love him. You don't even know him. It's been 2 weeks. Just because he had sex with you doesn't mean he reciprocates your feelings. Slow down. It sounds like he is not interested. You can give it once last chance but only one. Text him something along the lines of "Hey. Wanna grab a drink with me at [place] on [day, date]? How's [time]?" Unless you get a resounding "sounds great" or can we make it [different place / time] give up. Do not say anything about how long it's been, that you have feelings or anything else remotely emotional. 1
GTR King Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 It takes time to love someone.... Usually 3-5 months or longer 2 weeks is way too soon.... Sounds like he not that interested in you... Best to move on 1
RedHead5 Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 I agree with the others. Either move on or send one more text inviting him to come over or go out. He has probably lost interest but one last try will tell you for sure if you want to give it go. Keep those emotions in check the first few months. Falling 'in love' so quick could be driving them away. Depending on how you are acting around them. Many guys like a chase. If you get too familiar too fast you spook them. And Im not referring to sex, but Zahara is also correct, if you can't separate sex from emotions best not to hop into bed that quickly. Sex can easily create attachments that are based on lust/infatuation only.
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 You sound needlessly desperate. If he doesn't contact you, he's changed his mind about you, which can happen. Maybe he got a whiff of your obsessive feelings for him, and that can snuff out any interest. Whatever it is, you already reached out, and he wasn't too enthused. Get the hint and move on....you will find someone who will be on the same page. 1
GTR King Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 If he hasnt replied... then leave him be, If he messages you again then great if not move on
ExpatInItaly Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 We met Monday (2 weeks ago). We had coffee. Then he said he wanted to see me again. That night we had drinks at his place and slept together. He texted me 2 days later. 2 days after that (Friday) we had a date. Drinks, dinner, and a movie at his place. Nothing happened. I had my period and I woke up sick the next day. Its now been a week and nothing. I texted him myself last Wednesday. He just said "yeah see you later". Hes not interested right? Should I write something to him. If so, what? Please help... What did you text him that elicited that response from him? He doesn't sound overly interested, but more information for context would be helpful. And as the others have said, you don't love. You barely even know the guy. 1
stillafool Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 You love him after one date? He may be pulling back because he felt it was going in the wrong direction fast.
Author shoegal911 Posted November 10, 2018 Author Posted November 10, 2018 He called today. Wants to see me sunday after dinner. Is this a booty call? Should I go?
Versacehottie Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 Wants to meet where? If at his place, a booty call for sure. If he is asking you to do something, like go do an activity, it’s a date with a person who has higher priorities but is still trying to make time for you (although probably hoping to hook up as well)...if it’s for a drink or something very low effort, it’s a grey zone...could be low effort disguised booty call lol. Keep in mind that you set the parameters of what you feel like doing and how you allow others to treat you. Which doesn’t mean your answer to his invite has to be all black or white...if what he’s offered to do seems reasonable and suits your schedule, go with an open mind but have standards in place that would make you happy with how the night turns out. If you think it’s a booty call or the invite is only to meet up at his place, I’d suggest declining at this stage and say you can get together when he has more time. Basically you would be showing him you require greater effort and you won’t lose someone who wasn’t into you to begin with. You’d be offering a virtual alternative but one that suits both of you—both for timeframe and purpose (which goes unsaid but is implied). Good luck!
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 He called today. Wants to see me sunday after dinner. Is this a booty call? Should I go? Booty call....if he had better intentions he would ask you out for dinner. 1
Happy Lemming Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 He called today. Wants to see me sunday after dinner. Is this a booty call? Should I go? Is he going to a family dinner on Sunday?? Or is he making his own dinner?? If its a family dinner, then "yes, go over after dinner" as he has probably already committed to having dinner with his family... If he is making his own dinner, then I would be offended that I wasn't invited. I'd go over and get to know him better. If you don't want it to be a "booty call" then stop before you have sex. Talk, make out, but draw the line at sex.
Highndry Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 This is yet another example of why it's a bad idea for women to sleep with men too soon. It devalues you, as terrible as that sounds. And, it can lead to a situation such as this where you turn into a booty call, not a relationship which is obviously what you desire. It sounds like you have very strong feelings for him, so I hope it works out for you. Good luck. 2
Author shoegal911 Posted November 11, 2018 Author Posted November 11, 2018 Its a dinner with his family. He is not having dinner alone.
Happy Lemming Posted November 11, 2018 Posted November 11, 2018 Its a dinner with his family. He is not having dinner alone. It sounds like a pre-planned dinner with his family or it could be a standing "Sunday Dinner" type arrangement, where they all get together once a week to "break bread". That seems normal to me. Yes, if you enjoy his company, go over after dinner. Maybe take a small dessert (with you) that you both can share. Get to know him better, talk, etc., if you are feeling like this might have been a "booty call" type arrangement, draw the line at sex and gauge his reaction. I wouldn't "throw in the towel" just yet, especially since you seem to really like this guy. Just my two cents... Good luck with your decision. 1
Mrs._December Posted November 11, 2018 Posted November 11, 2018 (edited) We met Monday (2 weeks ago). We had coffee. Then he said he wanted to see me again. That night we had drinks at his place and slept together. He texted me 2 days later. 2 days after that (Friday) we had a date. Drinks, dinner, and a movie at his place. Nothing happened. I had my period and I woke up sick the next day. Its now been a week and nothing. I texted him myself last Wednesday. He just said "yeah see you later". Hes not interested right? Should I write something to him. If so, what? Please help... You don't 'love' him when you've known him a mere 14 days. Sounds as though he got what he wanted from you and when it wasn't forthcoming again on your second date, he chose to divert his attention elsewhere. Don't 'love' a loser who can't even show you the common courtesy we show strangers on the street. You are correct. He's NOT interested. Don't contact him again or you'll look desperate. Its a dinner with his family. He is not having dinner alone. Lining up some action after he leaves the family compound. Such a prince. As I said, if you actually waste any more time on this dud, then you'll just look desperate. Edited November 11, 2018 by Mrs._December 1
elaine567 Posted November 11, 2018 Posted November 11, 2018 OK so you met up a week last Friday, then no communication whatsoever. You texted him on Wednesday to get zilch of value back,"yeah see you later", then he calls Saturday to arrange a meet up AFTER he has dinner on Sunday... Where is your self respect? As for the poster suggesting YOU bring dessert to him... no words. 2
HiCrunchy Posted November 11, 2018 Posted November 11, 2018 So are you invited to come and eat dinner with him and his family or are you just coming over after, there is a difference?
Happy Lemming Posted November 11, 2018 Posted November 11, 2018 As for the poster suggesting YOU bring dessert to him... no words. If you are going over to someone's house, you should never show up empty-handed. Please tell me proper etiquette still exists in this world and showing up "empty handed" to someone's home is in poor taste. I was taught proper etiquette and manners, regardless of the situation, if you are going to someone's house, you bring some small gift. Dessert, a DVD, bottle of wine, (flowers if you are going to a woman's house), something...
hippychick3 Posted November 11, 2018 Posted November 11, 2018 (edited) Don't go over to his house after dinner on sunday. Don't continue to text/call him. Don't have sex on the first date. And don't think it's even possible to love someone after one date. My thought is that you gave him the impression you were too into him too soon and was scared off. Now, he only wants a booty call. Edited November 11, 2018 by hippychick3 1
Author shoegal911 Posted November 12, 2018 Author Posted November 12, 2018 Ok so I refused to see him sunday. He called me. We had a long chat. I told him what was wrong. He said that I was being ridiculous. That he likes me which is why we had dinner the last time. That we will have dinner next time and that hes just busy on this one sunday because hes leaving for a long business trip (he is a high powered exec). However, I found out some interesting stuff about him during our talk. He told me he broke up with his last girlfriend because she had anger management problems. He also said that hes angry at her because shes talking to their mutual friends. Why is he still angry? Does this mean he has feelings for her? I dont care about my ex or who he talks to, but that's because im over it. Is he not over it?
ExpatInItaly Posted November 12, 2018 Posted November 12, 2018 How long ago did he and his ex break up? I find it odd that he's angry that she's talking to mutual friends. By definition, they are her friends too. Why wouldn't she talk to them?
Author shoegal911 Posted November 12, 2018 Author Posted November 12, 2018 I think they are his friends to begin with. I dont know. Not the point. The point is: does he have feelings for her?
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