TidyDancer Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Obviously I know the answer to this - to get easy sex. However, I’m just so irritated by the sheer number of men who can’t be bothered to date me properly and talk only about my looks. It makes me so angry when I spend ages looking nice for a date for a man who can’t even be bothered to sit and have a drink with me and gets lazier and lazier with every date. Disclaimer, I am autistic. So I miss the signs. I could really do with some help in knowing who’s genuine. I’m sick of men who project a wholesome image of loving father, who turns out to be a druggie. I’m sick of men who spend loads of time appearing to want to get to know you and then later become a completely different (lazy) person. Could anyone give me some guidance? Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Could anyone give me some guidance? Hi TidyDancer, yes, my advice is to review your source for dates. I'm assuming you are looking for something long term, otherwise you wouldn't have posted this? What you're talking about I know to be common from what I've read here, but is totally foreign to me. Men who are looking for that hang out in bars or use Tinder? Granted, I'm a guy, but from my limited experience, the people (women) who respond online have all been really decent people looking for a lifelong relationship. Then again, I skip over those who have an appearance of not wanting something genuine. Offline, there are singles groups too. Where are you finding men, if you don't mind me asking? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TidyDancer Posted October 9, 2018 Author Share Posted October 9, 2018 The ones who misrepresent themselves are usually online dating people. Their text messages make them sound like nice people. But then they turn into something altogether different. It’s like they become a totally different person. I met this guy who projected an image of a really family man who love his kids. Then he admitted later he takes Cocaine in front of his son! So should online dating always be avoided? Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Dating guys you know in real life rather than strangers from the internet would allow you to weed these guys out quite easily... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Well you can always just stay away from men as this lady suggests and avoid all this nonsense. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/20/secret-to-long-life-avoiding-men_n_6508870.html Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Could anyone give me some guidance? you need to start dating educated, professional men 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newyorker11356 Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Dating guys you know in real life rather than strangers from the internet would allow you to weed these guys out quite easily... You can run into those types of people in real life too. Link to post Share on other sites
ZHguy Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 I met this guy who projected an image of a really family man who love his kids. Then he admitted later he takes Cocaine in front of his son! I’m just speechless. Okay, I’m just gonna jot down dating sources, and you use some of them probably. - Tinder: but you want to state that you’re looking for a relationship (but, expect the sea of men to be drained of many fish before you can even say the word commitment). Have a full friendly bio. Pictures of you doing stuff and with your friends. - Dating sites: eharmony, executive singles (I think that’s what it’s called?) - Bars: Before 12 AM is your best shot of flaunting yourself and smiling at some men. Don’t give up on bars! I went to a salsa nightclub (albeit before 12) and there’s two goals, 1. Partner up and learn how to dance with someone, and 2. Let go and just have fun. When you’re forced to do an activity with someone, whether it be at a nightclub or group class, you’re drawn into starting to getting to know the other. - Group classes: I’m talking mixed sex salsa, etc.. . - Lounges: I know some decent networking/social lounges in nice places. Also, most importantly, just go out. I learned the importance of this the other day. I just decided to spend the day in my neighbourhood, and some friendly guy (platonic) came up to me and asked me questions about the area. We got to know each other. It’s really a hit and miss. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TidyDancer Posted October 10, 2018 Author Share Posted October 10, 2018 Thank you, that is helpful. On Tinder I did specifically state that I’m looking for a relationship. It’s just really annoying and disappointing when someone sounds really chatty and friendly and suggests going for dinner or doing something social, rings me and I waste my time speaking to the a-hole on the phone every night for 2 weeks. and then it turns out he’s too lazy to go on a proper date and can’t even walk me to my car at the end of it. I don’t like people who lie because I’m very upfront about my intent. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TidyDancer Posted October 10, 2018 Author Share Posted October 10, 2018 One final thing, with regards to his son my friend says I should tell SS. But I feel it’s not my business OTOH I think it’s a shame for the child. He doesn’t live with this man but at weekends he is taking cocaine whilst his son comes to stay. And letting his son smoke weed. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Online dating = fishing for food in a dumpster. The older you are, the more true it is. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Obviously I know the answer to this - to get easy sex. However, I’m just so irritated by the sheer number of men who can’t be bothered to date me properly and talk only about my looks. It makes me so angry when I spend ages looking nice for a date for a man who can’t even be bothered to sit and have a drink with me and gets lazier and lazier with every date. Disclaimer, I am autistic. So I miss the signs. I could really do with some help in knowing who’s genuine. I’m sick of men who project a wholesome image of loving father, who turns out to be a druggie. I’m sick of men who spend loads of time appearing to want to get to know you and then later become a completely different (lazy) person. Could anyone give me some guidance? Not all of us men are like this you. But for each person there someone out there in the world for us. The problem we just don't know who that is? You like most run into the wrong type to date. Having autism shouldn't make you have a harder time figuring out who wants to be with you or not. My friend she as autism we are just friends but she can understand who I am and I've teach her she can be a better person in life as well. But she knows things and understand what she wants and more. I believe nothing can stop what you want. But other can take advantage of you as well your case these men have. If you feel they are then you need to eject them out of your life. You do not need to deal with these sort of men. They're not respecting you, or interested or caring about you in the way you want them too be. God find a man that can understand you for who you are inside and out. How are you meeting these guys? Men can lie about anything or just want you to think are into you or just go along . Are you into Manly Man? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Good men don't lie about their intentions. Sometimes, it just takes an eternally long time to find the right man... Or, at least it feels that way. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Obviously I know the answer to this - to get easy sex. However, I’m just so irritated by the sheer number of men who can’t be bothered to date me properly and talk only about my looks. It makes me so angry when I spend ages looking nice for a date for a man who can’t even be bothered to sit and have a drink with me and gets lazier and lazier with every date. Disclaimer, I am autistic. So I miss the signs. I could really do with some help in knowing who’s genuine. I’m sick of men who project a wholesome image of loving father, who turns out to be a druggie. I’m sick of men who spend loads of time appearing to want to get to know you and then later become a completely different (lazy) person. Could anyone give me some guidance? Ya date people through friends and your social group. At least they know the guy and can give you the heads up whether they are kool or a hot mess. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Where exactly do you meet these men? Do yourself a huge favor. Go to YouTube, look up Derrick Jaxn and watch his videos. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 One final thing, with regards to his son my friend says I should tell SS. But I feel it’s not my business OTOH I think it’s a shame for the child. He doesn’t live with this man but at weekends he is taking cocaine whilst his son comes to stay. And letting his son smoke weed. You've seen this happen with your own eyes? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Where exactly do you meet these men? Do yourself a huge favor. Go to YouTube, look up Derrick Jaxn and watch his videos. who is Derrick Jaxn? Link to post Share on other sites
SouthernIslander Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 who is Derrick Jaxn? Makes videos about relationships. I don’t really watch him but his videos pop up in my newsfeed on FB a good bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Daniel95 Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 It depends where are you meeting these men. From Tinder? Obviously, they'll want something casual. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Most of the time it's not lying. It's human weakness. It's wanting to be better but failing, setting goals but falling short. Sometimes it's lack of self-awareness, not understanding one's own emotions. Sometimes it's poor impulse control. Calculated deceit happens much less often. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newyorker11356 Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 It depends where are you meeting these men. From Tinder? Obviously, they'll want something casual. Not all guys from Tinder are looking for something casual. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TidyDancer Posted October 10, 2018 Author Share Posted October 10, 2018 Tinder or not, I expressed my intention that I didn’t just want to be someone’s booty call. I know people who’ve got married after meeting on Tinder. No I have not seen his son smoking drugs but why would anyone lie about something so shameful? He himself seemed to be on drugs. He was extremely rough with me, he ripped my clothes and I still have bruises from having sex with him. And he kept picking me up and squeezing me hard. Link to post Share on other sites
ZHguy Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 (edited) TidyDancer said: Tinder or not, I expressed my intention that I didn’t just want to be someone’s booty call. I know people who’ve got married after meeting on Tinder. No I have not seen his son smoking drugs but why would anyone lie about something so shameful? He himself seemed to be on drugs. He was extremely rough with me, he ripped my clothes and I still have bruises from having sex with him. And he kept picking me up and squeezing me hard. Okay, re: finding someone. There was a time in my life when I would find non stop casual sex, then expect to get to know the person afterwards. I haven't been able to have sex in recent times due to me being busy and past health. I've found that in the time I've avoided casual sex, I've gotten more successful at dates and forming relationships. And about online dating, don't let anyone drive you from it. People of all types use it for all different reasons. Re: your reply to my last comment, where you said people would get lazy. All people can relate with you. From a man's point of view, I can tell you, dating is like a hit and miss. The more coins you put in the slot, the higher your odds of finding someone. Edited January 31, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator inappropriate reaction removed at ZHguy's request Link to post Share on other sites
lavenderandvelvet Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 you need to start dating educated, professional men Educated professionals can be jerks too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rocker71 Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 you need to start dating educated, professional men If I were university educated and professional why would I want to stick with just one woman knowing I could have more than that because of my profession? Some of those guys are insecure with themselves and need to latch onto a relationship. I couldn't lie about my intentions if I wanted to. One woman said it was obvious what my intentions were just by the way I dress. Link to post Share on other sites
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