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how to tell if iím the only woman heís dating?


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Old 11th August 2018, 9:21 AM   #1
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Unhappy Guy Iím dating went to a music festival without me?

I have been seeing/dating this guy for a couple months now. I say ďseeing/datingĒ because we havenít had the official talk yet to confirm if we are actually in a relationship, but it really feels like we are for various reasons. It has been going super well, and Iím really excited about this guy. He went to a music festival this weekend for 4 days with a bunch of his friends (he had tickets for it back in December way before we met). Donít get me wrong, I LOVE that heís going away to have a fun guys weekend. But I canít help but be a little bit concerned. I know heís drinking heavily every single day, and there are girls everywhere wearing skimpy things and also drinking. I also donít trust one of his friends, Iíve met him and heís the type to try and get with every girl he can. I really do trust my guy, but I donít trust his friends and I donít trust girls.

The thing is too, Iím worried since we havenít been dating for a super long time and havenít had that relationship talk, he may not maybe see it as cheating or something I donít know. He texted me a little bit two nights ago (the first night), but yesterday/last night I got a couple snaps from him, and I sent one at night and he opened and didnít reply, and didnít text me at all. I honestly feel sick to my stomach. I donít know why he didnít reply to me last night. I know itís not about me and itís definitely my own insecurity but iím just so afraid he will find another girl there and come back and not be into me anymore. I canít help it. I would never say anything to him about it because i donít want to come across as needy and we are definitely not at that point in our relationship yet where I could bring that up.

I am keeping myself busy, I went out with friends last night to keep myself distracted but I canít help but worry a little bit. Am I overthinking this?
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Old 11th August 2018, 9:26 AM   #2
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He bought the tickets before he met you.

Yes, a music festival where everybody is drinking heavily & some may be doing other things is a situation fraught with temptation but you have to have some faith & trust him to do the right thing. Not every drunk hooks up with anything that moves. People do actually have self control.

You have the right to be concerned but don't get nuts & accusatory just yet. If he's calling you & posting pictures, try to enjoy vicariously though him. See what happens & how he acts when he comes home.
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Old 11th August 2018, 9:27 AM   #3
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Yes, you are overthinking it.
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Old 11th August 2018, 10:14 AM   #4
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If you really like the guy it's normal to be worried about his options and the bad influence of his friend at this festival. But it's early in your relationship and you haven't had "the talk" yet, so you are right to realize you shouldn't bring it up.

He was probably busy with his friends and that's why he didn't respond to your text. If his buddies are around he wouldn't want to be kidded about having to stop and answer you.

Being around plentiful temptations isn't going to change who he is. Either he's focused on you or he's not.
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Old 11th August 2018, 10:38 AM   #5
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If a guy is into you, he isn't going to be swayed by other girls. You don't trust him yet (despite what you say) and that's okay. You haven't been seeing other long enough to know that you can or can't trust him around temptation. Observe. That's what this stage of dating is about - seeing how the person truly conducts him- or herself.

The truth is that while a music festival certainly makes it easy to have some random hook-ups, temptation is everywhere, every day. He could just as easily meet someone at work or school or his local coffee shop. The point is that if he values what he has going with you and wants to take it further, he isn't going to compromise that by going off with someone else.

Don't let a lack of a reply make you sick to your stomach. There is no need for that; there are plenty of valid reasons why he hasn't replied. This sick feeling does suggest you need to get handle on the insecurity nagging at your mind, though. Why do you think you aren't good enough for him not to hook up with another girl?
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Old 11th August 2018, 11:05 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ExpatInItaly View Post
If a guy is into you, he isn't going to be swayed by other girls.
I agree with the above. I would show him I trust him by letting him have his 4 days away with his friends without contacting him or expecting contact from him. I would go out and use this time to have fun with my friends. When he gets back bring up the exclusivity talk.
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Old 11th August 2018, 1:59 PM   #7
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Dating someone or even being married to them does not mean you do everything together.
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Old 11th August 2018, 3:42 PM   #8
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Since you're not in an exclusive relationship, he can date and sleep around if he wants to and so can you.
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Old 11th August 2018, 3:55 PM   #9
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If he seems like a standup guy, you shouldn't think other wise. Come to your own conclusion when he gets back by how he behaves.
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Old 11th August 2018, 9:07 PM   #10
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Question is it ok to not talk to guy Iím dating every day?

the guy i’ve been dating/seeing for a couple months now (and it’s been going really well) is at a music festival this weekend with his friends. he’s had these tickets since christmas (way before we even met). I’m not going to lie when I say I’m a little concerned, just because it’s been only a couple months and i’m afraid he might find another girl there but that’s a different story. he texted me a little bit the first night, sent me just a few snaps here and there yesterday but we didn’t really talk. now today, still a few snaps but still haven’t really talked. I know he’s having fun with his friends, and I’m keeping busy with friends here too but I just can’t help but want to check in with him - but i’m just trying to kind of let him be.

is this the right thing to do? I really like this guy and am really excited about him, but trying not to mess things up by potentially coming across as needy. just can’t help but be a bit concerned, especially when we haven’t talked in a few days.
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Old 11th August 2018, 9:25 PM   #11
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Has it been a few days since you talked? I bet you talked thursday or friday, which would be yesterday or at most two days ago. I think being friendly and open to communication is great, but don't make him feel like he has to take care of you while he's there.

ETA: Yes, it's ok to not talk every single day. I like to talk every day, too, and if that's what you like, I think it's ok to require that in a relationship, but you should also make enough room for your bf to do stuff like go away with his friends for the weekend.

Last edited by grays; 11th August 2018 at 9:27 PM..
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Old 11th August 2018, 9:49 PM   #12
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[]Go out and do your own thing and stop worrying about it. He's busy having a great time, he messaged you a few, let him have his guy's weekend in peace. like the others have said, people do have self control even when drunk, if he's standup guy he isn't going to be all over a bunch of chicks like his buddy. He's there to watch the bands and enjoy the music.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 11th August 2018 at 10:21 PM.. Reason: Threads merged
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Old 11th August 2018, 10:28 PM   #13
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When I was dating the lady I later married, about a month in when we were serious but not exclusive, she went to SF with a group of her girlfriends to celebrate her 40th birthday, something they had planned for months. It included typical adult female behavior I wished her well and set up a date for the following weekend and checked in later that week to see how the BD went and to confirm plans. It went well and we continued dating and got married about 18 months later.

While married, she occasionally went to music festivals and concerts with members of the same group of girlfriends. Other than checking in to let me know she was safe, it was their time.

Time will tell your truths. Do your own thing and look forward to your next meetup/date.
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Old 12th August 2018, 7:45 PM   #14
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Question how to tell if iím the only woman heís dating?

I met this guy on a dating app a few months ago. we have been seeing each other frequently but havenít officially had the ďare we in a relationshipĒ talk yet. here are some things he has done that does make me feel like Iím the only one heís dating:

- he has introduced me to his friends, and brought me along to many social events with him and his friends (it feels kind of known that we are a thing). Hasnít told his family about me yet though.

- he got a bit jealous when I talked about my ex reaching out to me again, and also when I was talking to some of his friends without him there

- a couple guys have hit on me, and he isnít ever super happy to hear about it

- texts, calls and asks to see me lots

- he once posted a snap story of him and I together

- we have had sex, and he has slept over once

...those are just a few things. I really like this guy and feel like iím starting to fall for him, but he is a VERY social guy and I canít help but have this underlying fear that he might be seeing/texting other girls. Iím not getting a vibe he is or anything, but itís just an unsettling thought since we havenít had the exclusivity talk yet. I realize iím probably just thinking the worst and overthinking it, I hope I am. what do you think?
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Old 12th August 2018, 7:50 PM   #15
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There are only 2 ways to know:

1. Ask him. Since you are sleeping together it's almost a mandatory health question but not something you can assume.

2. Hire a P.I. & have him followed but that seems a bit extreme, don't you think?
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