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I think I'm kind of interested in a girl who cuts my hair...


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Old 8th March 2018, 1:38 PM   #16
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So there's no doubt, call her one more time and ask her out for her day of choice. If she still makes excuses, she's not interested. Something like "I'd like to take you to a movie at your convenience next week? What do you think?"
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Old 8th March 2018, 2:00 PM   #17
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Iíd say donít call her, donít text her and donít go get a hair cut with her . Find another hair stylist and move on.


Since she has your number she might call you or text you if she doesnít youíve moved on
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Old 8th March 2018, 2:39 PM   #18
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Iíd say donít call her, donít text her and donít go get a hair cut with her . Find another hair stylist and move on.

Good hairstylists are harder to find then somebody to date. I'm not so sure I'd give up the professional relationship so easily.
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:19 PM   #19
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Man I was thinking you had a shot, especially when you said she gave you her (real) #. Normally service workers just get yours and never call.

But those excuses after excuses indicate just the opposite.

If she wanted to go out with you, she would have offered an option after all those lame excuses (I'll have to remember, "I forgot to hit send!!!!" ... what, she never thought to check why you never replied?!), not just leave you flailing in the wind asking again ... and again ...

Sorry brother
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Old 9th March 2018, 12:22 AM   #20
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Wow, so many replies! Somehow I didn't get any notifications.

(see, excuses aren't always just excuses)

I appreciate all the feedback. To clarify my position a little, the only real reason I'm hesitant to officially ask her on a date is because I'm not sure if she's old enough for that to not be creepy of me. I guess I was hoping that by hanging out a little on more casual terms first I could come across that information in a less awkward way.

I do agree the concert idea was over the top. But I just hate the idea of missed opportunities. After all, I did buy the extra ticket specifically to bring an unknown someone I hoped to meet by then.

Some of you suggested that I should put the ball in her court now and let her initiate contact if she's truly interested, and maybe you're right. But I can't help thinking that everything I don't do is telling her I'm the one who isn't truly interested.

Quote:
she's being nice/flirty with you because she works for tips
And no doubt it works. For Christmas I left her a 100% tip.

Still, I feel like she's going beyond the standard hairdresser repertoire of which some of you wrote. Giving me her number? Wouldn't it be easier for her to just tell me that's against the store's rules or something? Now she's replying to all my texts. If she does that with even a handful of other clients, that's a lot of homework to keep up on. Actually, I didn't even technically ask for her number. She volunteered it.

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Should have asked her out right away, instead it sounds like you texted her way too much and chit-chatted. Also, a lunch isnít a good first date, it comes off as too much of ďfriendzoneĒ kind of thing. Always try to go get drinks or do an activity at evening/night so itís very clear that itís a ďdateĒ and not just a friendly thing.
Yeah, I might know nothing about dating. To me, asking someone out "right away" would feel too rapid-fire, like I'm just casting out hundreds of lines and hoping someone bites. That's not me, and it's not the impression I want to give, either.

I agree the lunch idea is a little weird, but it mostly came out of convenience, from the fact that I work near where she lives. But I can see how the friendzone thing comes into play and it would be difficult to transition from that.

Still, I feel like seeing her outside of work but not on an official date is the only way to truly get a feel for what's going on.

My cowokers are going out for happy hour tomorrow to the Mexican place we both love... would it be weird to invite her there? It really should be one-on-one the first time, I would think, or else it's full-on friendzone, right?

And part of me is ok if this goes no further than what it is now. Just seeing her for my haircuts does wonders for my mood. I had been fearing the day she leaves that job, but now I feel better having a way to keep in touch.
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Old 9th March 2018, 1:22 AM   #21
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The negatives outweigh the positives. If someone rejects your attempts to ask them out or makes excuses, they aren't interested.
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Old 9th March 2018, 7:56 AM   #22
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Man I was thinking you had a shot, especially when you said she gave you her (real) #.
Exactly! I was fully prepared to hear a generic recording saying whoever gave me that number isn't interested.

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If she wanted to go out with you, she would have offered an option after all those lame excuses (I'll have to remember, "I forgot to hit send!!!!" ... what, she never thought to check why you never replied?!)
I don't think the "if she wanted to go out with you" test is valid, because I haven't indicated that's my intent. She might be waiting for me to say it is.

And I overstated her excuses... I checked the history and she actually only made two. Once was my voice mail asking if she wanted to grab lunch. "...for some reason I'm just now getting your voicemail. I'm so sorry I missed your call" The other was when I texted her that I was thinking about going to the Mexican restaurant for lunch and asked if she wants to join me. With no response, the following week I just sent her a "Hi " and 3 hours later she replied "I can't believe I never pressed send on my last message! I was wondering why you didn't respond!"

But I totally believe that because I've done it myself before. Especially with emails to my coworkers. If you're a careful writer who reviews messages before sending them, it's easy for a distraction to interrupt you before you're done, and then you forget that you never finished it.
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Old 9th March 2018, 8:01 AM   #23
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My guess is that she doesn't date clients and she is trying to not upset/reject you to keep you as a client.

BTW, BTDT with dating hair stylists, never have them cut your hair when they are pissed off at you
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Old 9th March 2018, 12:24 PM   #24
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And part of me is ok if this goes no further than what it is now. Just seeing her for my haircuts does wonders for my mood. I had been fearing the day she leaves that job, but now I feel better having a way to keep in touch.
Fearing the day she leaves her job?

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But I totally believe that because I've done it myself before. Especially with emails to my coworkers. If you're a careful writer who reviews messages before sending them, it's easy for a distraction to interrupt you before you're done, and then you forget that you never finished it.
And now you are defending her. If she 'forgot' to hit send, surely she would have opened up your convo at least ONCE to check. Unless.. she just isn't interested.

This is a classic case of oneitis, putting this girl on a pedestal, as though she is the only girl in the world.

I'm not sure what the age difference here is as you have mentioned it being a possible issue more than once. But I don't get your 'go out but not on a proper date to get a feel of things' idea. Sounds like you are happy to just go straight into the friendzone? You say you are interested in her but are not acting like a man who is interested in a woman should be.

Make a decision what you want, then go for it.

And in the mean time carry on with life. Meet other women.

Personally I think she is just being friendly and is not interested.
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Old 10th March 2018, 7:35 PM   #25
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Fearing the day she leaves her job?
Before I got her number, yes, every time I left her sight I feared she wouldn't be there next time and I'd kick myself for waiting too long.

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You say you are interested in her but are not acting like a man who is interested in a woman should be.
Yeah, I have issues. Acting like a man is one of them. But a lot of men are jerks so is that such a bad thing?

And my main issue is I don't know what I want. Not in specific enough terms to guide me through dating, anyway. I do know I'm usually attracted to women who show interest in me after no conscious effort of my own. Not because I love being the center of attention (I definitely do not) but more because I'm lazy and it feels like half the work is done if she already likes me? You'd think that would make me attracted to ANY girl who cuts my hair, showing interest in me being part of their job, but it hasn't worked out that way. With all the others, I could tell they were just making small talk and it wasn't true interest. This one is different. Either she's truly interested or she's crossing a line she's not supposed to in her profession.

Probably the latter. Unless she texts me out of the blue someday.
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Old 10th March 2018, 7:41 PM   #26
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Thwack, there's nothing you've written to make me think she's acting unprofessionally. It's not like she's "accidentally" brushing her breasts against you or telling you sordid secrets from her life.

Yeah, my hubby was the guy who only really bothered with girls who already showed interest. It worked well for him. Hey, he ended up with me!!
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Old 10th March 2018, 7:52 PM   #27
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"Forgot to hit send" is one of the lamest excuses ever. It's so, so bad. She's not into you. When a woman is into you, she leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.

What I would do is just go get a haircut and forget asking her out. I'd be my charming self and maybe even smile and flirt with some of the other gals there. The ball's in her court now.
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Old 10th March 2018, 8:00 PM   #28
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When a woman is into you, she leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.
that is SO true Highndry
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Old 10th March 2018, 9:31 PM   #29
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Thwack, there's nothing you've written to make me think she's acting unprofessionally. It's not like she's "accidentally" brushing her breasts against you or telling you sordid secrets from her life.
True, I only mean she's being a bit more sensual than any other stylist I've had. Like when she applies product at the end, running her fingers through my hair, you could say she lingers and seems to enjoy it.
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Old 10th March 2018, 9:38 PM   #30
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Like when she applies product at the end, running her fingers through my hair, you could say she lingers and seems to enjoy it.
.....with all of her customers, probably, because she knows how to play it to get extra tips.
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