LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

She didnít feel a connection


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree56Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 6th March 2018, 4:50 PM   #16
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 28,030
It is probably nothing you did or didn't do. I know plenty of people who are wonderful folks but I don't want to date them. That doesn't make either of us bad people just incompatible ones when it comes to love.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th March 2018, 11:01 PM   #17
Established Member
 
MidwestUSA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 7,639
I too think you should have kept this to the original thread, where I answered you.

Bottom line, it happens. She just wasn't feeling it. Sometimes it takes that second date to make sure.

I do hope you'll take the advice regarding texting to heart. 'I fell asleep'?, come on. Common courtesy. It's okay to match enthusiasm with enthusiasm. Good luck.
__________________
Well, bless your heart.
MidwestUSA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 12:08 AM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 132
Have a feeling you messing up twice by not texting her reminded her of her ex's behavior... Like dude, she legit ASKED you to do this. TWICE.

Falling asleep? After everyone in the original thread told you to do the exact opposite?

I've chased people who don't reciprocate small things like that and have concluded they are just not as into me as I am so I cut them off.

She might have done the same to you. But do know, she did like you. This one is on you, OP.

Good luck.
CollegeKid101 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 12:23 AM   #19
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by CollegeKid101 View Post
Have a feeling you messing up twice by not texting her reminded her of her ex's behavior... Like dude, she legit ASKED you to do this. TWICE.

Falling asleep? After everyone in the original thread told you to do the exact opposite?

I've chased people who don't reciprocate small things like that and have concluded they are just not as into me as I am so I cut them off.

She might have done the same to you. But do know, she did like you. This one is on you, OP.

Good luck.
Don't know how I missed this.

OP, you definitely messed up big time. I'd say her lack of a connection was because of this. Had you done those things, you'd likely still be dating her.
newyorker11356 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 12:46 AM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 861
Quote:
Originally Posted by newyorker11356 View Post
Except as we've said before, that isn't true.

I've (along with other guys) have had sex with a woman way after 3 dates.

This one just wasn't interested in the OP, it happens. Welcome to dating.

OP, don't fret. Sometimes, you can do everything perfectly or good, and the other person is still not interested.
I seem to be going backwards with age. When I was young, there were plenty of women whom I slept with on the first date, one night stands, etc. Now, I'd prefer NOT to sleep with a woman on the 1st or 2nd date. I like to think that she's not just hopping in the sack with every single guy she meets online. If she's my age, that's A LOT OF GUYS! I prefer a woman who's a bit more selective, but that's just me getting old I guess.
Highndry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 12:58 AM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 245
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redguitar35 View Post
It’s disappointing that’s for sure. But I’d say she did you a favor by going ahead and telling you upfront she’s not interested. There’s been some threads recently where women have admitted to stringing guys along for 4-5 dates with no intention of having sex with them. In general I’d say if the woman hasn’t agreed to sex within 2 dates, she’s not interested. That’s exactly what you see with this one.
She did do you a favor, much better then leading you on. Being rejected sucks for sure, but I learned that is much kinder way then leading someone on and ghosting them. Leave her alone, do not look like a creeper and you'll find someone who is interested. I've gone on dates where I had not interest even though they were nice guys, a lot of times there just isn't any connection.
I'veseenbetterlol is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 1:54 AM   #22
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 261
Quote:
Originally Posted by CollegeKid101 View Post
Have a feeling you messing up twice by not texting her reminded her of her ex's behavior... Like dude, she legit ASKED you to do this. TWICE.

Falling asleep? After everyone in the original thread told you to do the exact opposite?

I've chased people who don't reciprocate small things like that and have concluded they are just not as into me as I am so I cut them off.

She might have done the same to you. But do know, she did like you. This one is on you, OP.

Good luck.
THIS! she obviously felt some chemistry/connection as she never would made out with you. But the following behaviour put up red flags and she decided to walk.

Stop playing games OP, you are the man so be more proactive. I am sure she felt like she was chasing you, you should been sending the "I had a great time!" texts after the date and asking her out again.
Sara1989 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 4:39 AM   #23
Established Member
 
TheFinalWord's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: † Calvary †
Posts: 6,140
It's possible you waited to long to text. Though to me the content of the text was a bit odd..."that was the goal"...seems a simple, "I had a great time. Have a great night!" would have sufficed. But I don't know, if someone is that nit-picky then you're probably better off.

It's possible the distance is another factor. Living an hour apart can start to wear on the other person, especially if they aren't that into you.

Corey Wayne is interesting and has some good tips. But it's obvious you didn't read that damn book 10-15 times (if you have watched his stuff, you'll know what I mean).

The Art Of Texting Corey Wayne
__________________
If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants. - Newton

Last edited by TheFinalWord; 7th March 2018 at 4:41 AM..
TheFinalWord is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 5:55 AM   #24
Established Member
 
Zippy2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: The Shire
Posts: 972
Quote:
Originally Posted by CasualDude10 View Post
We didnít text/call unless it was to setup dates, i wasnít ďmister nice guyĒ but also wasnít a dbag either. Kept everything fun, positive, uplifting, and showed everything confidently.

Honestly speechless


We will never really know why she called it quits. I d ask you not to beat yourself up about it. It could be the distance factor since she lived an hour away or it could be there wasn't enough spark for her. You mention you never text or called unless it was to set up dates. Some people do like the occasion text or call to let them know your thinking of them.


Overall if someone doesn't want to be with you its best to let them go. Who wants someone who doesn't like you enough to stay
Zippy2000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 6:31 AM   #25
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 10,515
This is why playing games is not wise, OP.
ExpatInItaly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 3:40 PM   #26
Established Member
 
Cookiesandough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 5,284
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFinalWord View Post
It's possible you waited to long to text. Though to me the content of the text was a bit odd..."that was the goal"...seems a simple, "I had a great time. Have a great night!" would have sufficed. But I don't know, if someone is that nit-picky then you're probably better off.

It's possible the distance is another factor. Living an hour apart can start to wear on the other person, especially if they aren't that into you.

Corey Wayne is interesting and has some good tips. But it's obvious you didn't read that damn book 10-15 times (if you have watched his stuff, you'll know what I mean).

The Art Of Texting Corey Wayne
Maybe his books are great. I don't think Corey Wayne has good game(a few of his ideas are ok but pretty human nature 101), a lot of times he completely misses what is good game, but I can't be sure because I've only watched his videos. In this video he specifically advises men to use the "I fell asleep" line that OP used. lol

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 7th March 2018 at 3:43 PM..
Cookiesandough is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 3:44 PM   #27
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,944
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
Maybe his books are great. I don't think Corey Wayne has good game, but I can't be sure because I've only watched his videos. In this video he specifically advises men to use the "I fell asleep" line that OP used.lol
ugh. What is amazing about guys that are taking his advice, is that when I see Corey's look, it's a straight up no as to whether I would ever go on a date with him. Thinking lots of girls would not find him attractive. Thus, what could his real life experience be? Combined with dumb-a** tactics, he's a full-on mess. I just can't see why regular guys are taking advice from a guy that doesn't even LOOK like he would be successful with women. I mean it's common sense.
__________________
Everybody's like: He's no item,Please don't like em, He don't wife em, He one nights em,I never listened No. I shoulda figured though. All that sh*t you was spittin',So unoriginal, But it was you. So I was with it. Then tell you the truth, Wish we never did it. If you was really the realest, Wouldn't be fightin' it.I think your pride is just...In the way
Versacehottie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 4:05 PM   #28
Established Member
 
Cookiesandough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 5,284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Versacehottie View Post
ugh. What is amazing about guys that are taking his advice, is that when I see Corey's look, it's a straight up no as to whether I would ever go on a date with him. Thinking lots of girls would not find him attractive. Thus, what could his real life experience be? Combined with dumb-a** tactics, he's a full-on mess. I just can't see why regular guys are taking advice from a guy that doesn't even LOOK like he would be successful with women. I mean it's common sense.
Made me laugh. I agree. Not trying to be mean, but yea he's not an attractive man(to me), but above that it's his demeanor/attitude. He would do a lot better without it. Not to derail any more, but just wanna say I shudder to think what kind of women he has "trained" to "chase" him. He obviously couldn't game/"train" his ex w because hes a man going his own way/sworn off marriage now which is probably for the best for all.

Just what universe does this guy live where the narrative in the last part of his vid would play out with a sane woman who is not attracted to a man?

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 7th March 2018 at 4:24 PM..
Cookiesandough is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 4:31 PM   #29
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United States
Posts: 4,984
Well, the one thing the Corey Wayne followers on here seem to have in common is that they are all struggling

That said, getting back to the OP's situation, there is hardly a predictable repeatable formula for chemistry. It is quite possible that the reason why she isn't feeling chemistry for you isn't due to anything you "did".

BUT, waiting to text her back sure didn't help.
__________________
You'll thank me for saying that later.
Imajerk17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th March 2018, 4:52 PM   #30
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 25
Do not think much of this. Likely one of the following:

You both wanted different things i.e. she wanted a relationship, you wanted to hook up, etc...Saying something nice is a easier way for them to end it and not feel guilty because a lot of people struggle with that.

She was attracted to you, but probably figured that you were different in a few ways from people that she dated or was used to and for that reason it was not worth pursuing-generally these are people who are single because subconsciously they keep themselves single. They look for the same thing or same sort of thing without realizing that the same sort of thing has not been working out too well for them in the past.

She knew what she wanted, and that was not to date, it was just to have fun. For her, this was just fun.

General dating rule. Do not care about these things or other people. Do less for others, do more for yourself. Do things you want to do. Don't care what they think. When you are in a relationship with someone who wants to be, then you can change that frame of mind. Also, it's just dating. Don't get so hung up on it, let it go and fill your life with things that are fulfilling.
Sundra1 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What makes you feel there is a deeper connection? spiderowl General Relationship Discussion 11 23rd October 2016 4:32 PM
I am tired of hearing "I didn't feel a romantic connection" anymore. I wanna change! regdent Dating 6 23rd August 2015 9:48 PM
For Women - when do you feel that special connection bluenightowl Dating 5 8th July 2011 5:50 PM
Can a connection feel different with each person? chelle21689 General Relationship Discussion 2 31st March 2011 4:22 PM
Don't feel the romantic connection, but realize it takes time? DatingQuestions Dating 52 20th March 2006 8:01 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 8:35 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.