Am I wrong for not texting my boyfriend?

[miwi764]

So lets ignore the fact that texting at work is not acceptable because we all know that. So I just started my work shift which is from 9am-5pm. I have my own office. I sent the last text to my boyfriend at 9. He didn't read it or respond for 3 hours so I assume he's busy which is no biggie so i'll wait. When he finally texted me back he didn't respond to my last text but instead he asked me if I was busy because I didn't say anything for 3 hours. I told him no I wasn't busy but that I don't think its necessary to send out numerous texts for 3 hours because he clearly cant respond. He then admitted that he was busy at work but that it shouldn't stop me from texting him.

We don't really talk about anything important so me texting him for 3 hours would have been a bunch of random things that crossed my mind. I'm also sure that if I had done so that he wouldn't respond to everything.

 

We had a discussion before about me not texting him back in a reasonable amount of time or telling him i'm busy while i'm at work but he has failed to notify me when he is busy. He just doesn't respond for a very long time.

 

So what he takes from this is that I didn't text him for 3 hours because he didn't respond to my last text. That is not true and I think that would be very childish of me to do.

 

if I had something very important to say I would most certainly text it whenever

i cant believe that he would make conflict out of this instead of carrying on with a positive conversation.

Why cant he see that i'm simply respecting the fact that no response means he's too busy to text me back?

[Larryville]

Nobody is "too busy" if you are a priority in their lives.

[coolheadal]

Don't make this so complex or complicated. Why don't you just bypass text and call him up on the phone to phone. Just say hi how is it going how are you doing and when will I see you again. What did you eat for lunch an etc. Make small talk as little as possible. You two need to relax you are so up tight and so is he. How you two going to make this work? At this rate not so good.

[miwi764]

Thanks but i'm specifically talking about being "busy" at work.

[coolheadal]

Thanks but i'm specifically talking about being "busy" at work.

 

Even so, he has to wait or you just have to wait on him. Why do you care when he does when he's at work. Your executive or higher or lower but in any case you know what he has to go through. Work is work not a social gathering. When he can call you I am sure he will. Even if it takes 3 hrs or longer. Let him chase you down first.

[Larryville]

We had a discussion before about me not texting him back in a reasonable amount of time or telling him i'm busy while i'm at work but he has failed to notify me when he is busy. He just doesn't respond for a very long time.

 

Why cant he see that i'm simply respecting the fact that no response means he's too busy to text me back?

 

Thanks but i'm specifically talking about being "busy" at work.

 

Perfect example of creating angst in a relationship out of something so insignificant. You clearly are not on the same page.

[Gaeta]

You are both adults.

 

You are in an established relationship which means you've got his back and you know he's got yours.

 

Why do you need to text during work hours at all?? If you don't see each other on daily basis then just call each other at night to touch base.

 

Problem solved.

[miwi764]

I don't think you get whats going on here. I am talking about my BOYFRIEND and I communicating at WORK! We do not need to talk on the phone. I have a consistent lunch break where he doesn't.

 

My question is why is he making this a difficult situation for me? Its like he is going against me. He wants to believe that my reason for not texting him for 3 hours is because i'm childish and playing the whole oh i text you last game. That's dumb as ****. I am at work my main priority is working so if you don't respond i'm going to work not sit for 3 hours and keep texting random stuff while i'm working

[miwi764]

Thank you and I totally agree with you. When we first met he made texting at work a problem. He basically told me if I cant text him throughout the day a relationship wouldnt work so I complied. I dont mind texting here and there but if im at work I think I should be working. The work at his job has started to make him really busy over the past few months and he doesnt text me as much which is ABSOLUTELY okay with me but he makes the whole communication my fault and I am looking for an opinion on if im wrong for not texting him while i know he was busy and couldnt use his phone to text me back or am i suppose to just continously text random **** until he answers.

[miwi764]

I totally agree but why does he do this? why couldnt he just continue with a positive conversation?

my confusion is knowing whether or not.... Am I wrong for not texting for 3 hours?

I honestly wasn't being childish about the fact that he didnt respond I just respect that if someone isn't responding its because they CAN'T. Whether I need to tell you the sky is pink today or that your someone just died. Ill wait.

[Gaeta]

I don't think you get whats going on here. I am talking about my BOYFRIEND and I communicating at WORK! We do not need to talk on the phone. I have a consistent lunch break where he doesn't.

 

My question is why is he making this a difficult situation for me? Its like he is going against me. He wants to believe that my reason for not texting him for 3 hours is because i'm childish and playing the whole oh i text you last game. That's dumb as ****. I am at work my main priority is working so if you don't respond i'm going to work not sit for 3 hours and keep texting random stuff while i'm working

 

 

OH I FULLY understand this is your boyfriend! Again why do you need to talk during work hours??? A mature adult should be able to go through a day at the office without texting a BF. If you were born before mobile phones you'd have to wait at the end of the day to call your BF and ask him how was his day.

 

How old are you all ? This is so juvenile I must ask !

[coolheadal]

Thank you and I totally agree with you. When we first met he made texting at work a problem. He basically told me if I cant text him throughout the day a relationship wouldnt work so I complied. I dont mind texting here and there but if im at work I think I should be working. The work at his job has started to make him really busy over the past few months and he doesnt text me as much which is ABSOLUTELY okay with me but he makes the whole communication my fault and I am looking for an opinion on if im wrong for not texting him while i know he was busy and couldnt use his phone to text me back or am i suppose to just continously text random **** until he answers.

 

 

Text - him

Hi how is your day going?

 

Wait until he answers you. (you do not need to sound impatient)

 

You only text once until he answers you back no matter how long it takes him too. If he doesn't text you back then you can call him when you and him out of work. No you should not text him endlessly. No one does that only time they do when they are in fear of the relationship coming to a end.

[Gaeta]

My question is why is he making this a difficult situation for me? Its like he is going against me. He wants to believe that my reason for not texting him for 3 hours is because i'm childish and playing the whole oh i text you last game. That's dumb as ****. I am at work my main priority is working so if you don't respond i'm going to work not sit for 3 hours and keep texting random stuff while i'm working

 

Why he is making it difficult? Because he is a controlling insecure idiot.

[Redhead14]

Thanks but i'm specifically talking about being "busy" at work.

 

You make an agreement that when you are each at work, there is no texting unless there is something important. Otherwise, you will reconnect after work hours or before work hours. I do not text or call my SO when we are at work unless it is something important. Yeah, a good morning text before the work day gets underway is nice. We don't text while at work whether we are busy or not. We do not take it personally. It's about being focused on our jobs and respecting that environment. We are not giddy high school kids who can't be out of touch. Our face time/outside of work hours interaction is satisfying and of quality and so texting doesn't mean squat to us. Texting and social media can ruin relationships for no other reason than increased demand on a partner over BS.

[kendahke]

I don't think you get whats going on here. I am talking about my BOYFRIEND and I communicating at WORK! We do not need to talk on the phone. I have a consistent lunch break where he doesn't.

 

My question is why is he making this a difficult situation for me? Its like he is going against me. He wants to believe that my reason for not texting him for 3 hours is because i'm childish and playing the whole oh i text you last game. That's dumb as ****. I am at work my main priority is working so if you don't respond i'm going to work not sit for 3 hours and keep texting random stuff while i'm working

 

I completely agree with you.

 

Texting at work is usually frowned on in most work settings. You're there to work, not text.

 

I'd pin him down on what his real issue here is--I think it's that he believes you don't tell him the truth, so he has a narrative running in his head that he's invested in about what you're really doing, except he's projecting onto you what he would do, not going on what has actually fallen out in experience.

[miwi764]

We are at WORK!!! We are in a committed relationship aint no small talk going on thats akward. im not asking him the same damn questions everyday. we have plenty of convo throug out the day about any and everything.

[miwi764]

You are absolutely right without me going into details about our whole relationship that's basically what it has come to.

So instead of me telling a lie and saying I was busy I was honest and it still backfired on me.

[Redhead14]

You are absolutely right without me going into details about our whole relationship that's basically what it has come to.

So instead of me telling a lie and saying I was busy I was honest and it still backfired on me.

 

Are you in the habit of behaving in a passive-aggressive way? Because that is how he is perceiving/describing your lack of response. I'm just saying, maybe you need to think about how you respond in other situations. OR, perhaps he is used to other people behaving that way and is projecting that onto this situation or that is how HE usually deals with things so assumes you are too. Just food for thought.

[miwi764]

Gaeta- We are both 27 smh. I honestly dont know but this is what he wanted and I have just been trying to be a good girlfriend and make this as simple as possible so I dont understand why he brings conflict on little situations like this. I would much rather focus on work even though I have a lot of down time at work I dont want to text him if when I do become busy and cant respond for 10 min 15 min it becomes an issue or if he doesnt respond and I wait for him to it becomes an issue. I just feel like there nothing I can do right and it saddens me because i am not a jealous woman nor am I insecure. I didnt think nothing bad of him not responding to me for 3 hours because i know he's at work.

[coolheadal]

Sounds like this whole post is that you miss your man and he's taking a long time to text you back. When last have you two been a long extended vacation or island getaway. You clearly working without texting.. Your down you have more of it than he does so you want to text him and he doesn't text you back in time.

[Gaeta]

Gaeta- We are both 27 smh. I honestly dont know but this is what he wanted and I have just been trying to be a good girlfriend and make this as simple as possible so I dont understand why he brings conflict on little situations like this. I would much rather focus on work even though I have a lot of down time at work I dont want to text him if when I do become busy and cant respond for 10 min 15 min it becomes an issue or if he doesnt respond and I wait for him to it becomes an issue. I just feel like there nothing I can do right and it saddens me because i am not a jealous woman nor am I insecure. I didnt think nothing bad of him not responding to me for 3 hours because i know he's at work.

 

How long have you been dating? I read this texting during work hours was one of his requirement to be in a relationship? Which I think is indicative of huge insecurity on his part. Are you long distance by any chance?

 

No, you did nothing bad, absolutely not. Your boyfriend has serious controlling issues.

[miwi764]

Thats how he perceives it but im honestly not being passive aggressive. I just felt like he was busy and couldnt respond like he didnt even read the text. so he said he was wondering why i didnt text him for 3 hours and I told him i was wondering the same thing too. I said i wasnt busy and then he admitted to being busy so who's wrong. I just know that i couldve texted a whole lot of randon stuff like my mom just calledme and asked if we wanted to go out for dinner, the sky is blue, I just got yelled at by my boss, someone just died, I lost my wallet, do you want to see a movie this weekend, can we book flights for new mexico. You know what?....he will only respond to probaly the last three things i mentioned.

its just all so confusing like he does alot of things that I dont like but i learn to understand and not think negative about it so im just tired of the conflict always being my fault beause on my end i try to keep the piece.

[Gaeta]

Sounds like this whole post is that you miss your man and he's taking a long time to text you back. When last have you two been a long extended vacation or island getaway. You clearly working without texting.. Your down you have more of it than he does so you want to text him and he doesn't text you back in time.

 

It's the other way around. Her BF is freaking out because she did not get back to him for 3 hours - during work hours.

[Gaeta]

its just all so confusing like he does alot of things that I dont like but i learn to understand and not think negative about it so im just tired of the conflict always being my fault beause on my end i try to keep the piece.

 

Ok, this relationship has a collection of other issues. You're not suppose to date a man that does *a lot* of things you don't like. That is called not being compatible, same for being the peace keeper of the relationship. You need to reassess this relationship.

[miwi764]

we have been together for 1 year. we don't live together but he's only 30 minutes away. We don't see each other everyday but we most definitely could unless one of us has something going on after work.