CryForNoOne Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I've been hanging out with this woman for a few weeks now. Her interest in me has been obvious, but I knew after the first date that I wasn't interested in her romantically. I think she sensed that and told me she just wanted to be friends. I thought it was BS but I went along with it because we have a lot of shared interests. This Sunday I took her up on an offer to take me out to lunch (I treated the last time). Afterwards she made a hard sell for me to go see a concert with her. Not wanting to give her the wrong idea I declined, but eventually I reluctantly agreed because she was so damn persistent and I really wanted to see the band. I ended up having a blast with her and we hung out the whole night. Right before I left, she made her move. She told me she had a huge crush on me and started kissing me. I reciprocated. She asked me to stay the night. I was turned on but had a lot to drink and was afraid I was going to do something I'd regret. I told her I just wanted to be friends and I'd hate myself if I slept with her because I'd only be using her for sex. She backed off, said she understood, and thanked me for that. Today she texted me "I was thinking about our talk Sunday night. I'm OK with it... Let's hookup Sunday. Bring condoms! ;-)" I feel like this is going to end badly no matter what I do IF I continue to have contact with her. I love hanging out with her as a friend but if we have sex I think this will be permanently f**k up (pun intended) our relationship". Link to post Share on other sites
mbee Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Personally I think having sex with her is a bad idea. Look I'm going to be honest as I've been the girl in this situation once. Considering you guys met as a date, I think she might be hoping your feelings will change as you get to know her and have sex. Personally I think your feelings might change, who knows, anything's possible but if we are being honest... that's probably what she is hoping for. She's hoping eventually you'll fall into liking her and into a relationship. I get it as it's something many men and women can relate to. I think if you want to be friends, don't have sex and start doing group hangouts. No more one on ones to concerts. If things start to change and feelings develop, then go for it. If she starts seeing other men and you feel she's over you, continue doing the one on one hangouts but to avoid hurting her, treat her strictly as a friend. Invite her to hang out with your other friends and maybe limit hanging out with her to once or twice a month max. Don't give her mixed signals by agreeing to things and showing your interest sexually. Many women, myself included, get confused by the fact that a guy loves hanging out with us and wants to have sex but doesn't view us romantically. It is confusing so take all of that out of the equation and treat her strictly as a platonic friend that you only see once in a long while and with other people around. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ses Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Listen to your intuition. Politely decline her offer, delete the number and move on to someone else. You're under no obligation to see her because she's a great person. You seem to find casual partners readily so being horny should be an incentive to find someone who shares your attitude When you do find someone, keep it more casual and do less dates in order to not blur the lines. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Oh my, another situation ... The women you want don't want you but the ones who do you don't want. And it applies to the women too. What to do? I don't think you should. Decline the offer, she's clearly saying she wants to by saying to bring a condom. But, don't if it's not what you want. If you end up doing IT you'll have a bad situation down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted August 24, 2016 Author Share Posted August 24, 2016 Personally I think having sex with her is a bad idea. Look I'm going to be honest as I've been the girl in this situation once. Considering you guys met as a date, I think she might be hoping your feelings will change as you get to know her and have sex. Personally I think your feelings might change, who knows, anything's possible but if we are being honest... that's probably what she is hoping for. She's hoping eventually you'll fall into liking her and into a relationship. I get it as it's something many men and women can relate to. Yes it's awful having a major crush on someone. I've been there. They give you the slightest crumb and you'll take it thinking you can get them to like you more once they just get to know you. Uggh. I almost hate being on the receiving end just as much... I'm kinda mad at myself for not having feelings for her because she's so damn cool. But one can't change how they "feel" about someone. She even told me "You're going to fall in love with me. Men always do..." But I know myself too well. I would have sex with her because I'm horny and I hate being alone. But I know the moment someone "better" comes along I'd drop her. It's been 10 hours since she texted me and I haven't replied. Her next text a couple minutes later was "Speechless huh..." Yes. I am... Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted August 24, 2016 Author Share Posted August 24, 2016 Oh my, another situation ... The women you want don't want you but the ones who do you don't want. And it applies to the women too. Isn't that the truth. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you say or do. The chemistry is there or it isn't and you just have to accept it. I was watching classic Hollywood satire "the Player" tonight. A screenplay writer is murdered and his girlfriend ends up falling in love with the killer, even after he admits it. That subplot seemed laughable when I saw the movie for the first time 20 years ago, but it's not so ridiculous now that I'm older and wiser. Infatuation can be incredibly powerful. It allows you to overlook a lot of flaws, but it also can get you hurt real bad... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Don't do it. She's desperate and before long she'll have herself convinced you're her bf and she'll tell all her friends you're her bf and she'll tell any woman she sees you with if she can that you're her bf or act like it in front of them. The sooner you pull the plug on this, the better. She never just wanted sex and she still doesn't. She just thinks she can make you love her. Have some standards and tell her you just don't feel right about it and that you need to stop seeing her. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Yes, if you are pretty sure you are not going to fall in love with her, don't do it. She obviously likes you a lot and will get more attached if the opportunity is there. Mind you, we have seen a few posters on here who have gone out with a girl as a friend because she was fun to spend time with and then she has moved on and they have realised they had fallen in love with her. I'm not suggesting you have sex with her but you might need to be careful of catching feelings too ... Link to post Share on other sites
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