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Dating a woman who has slept around....

harkkam

By harkkam
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harkkam Established Member

harkkam

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm not in the situation right now, but when I think about it, a part of me doesn't want to know how many men my date or gf has slept with.

 

I'm a 29 y.o male in a major metropolitan area

 

More importantly what matters is if she had lots of one night stands and was a party girl.

 

If I was a woman I wouldn't be comfortable with a guy who had heaps of women that he slept with either.

 

We all like to have sex on the third or forth date, but if a woman has say 25-50 partners that's a problem.

 

I can usually tell by a woman's body language how sexually experienced she is, usually they are very confident and very independent and very good at using their body to attract other men like men these men are puppets on strings.

 

See as a man I love party women, because which guy doesn't like easy sex. But then for settling down and LTRs I like a more modest and more conservative woman

 

However this view presents a hypocrisy that I'm free to have sex with lots of easy club girls and have a high number yet I want my serious relationships to be with women with low numbers

 

So either I can:

A) change my perspective and be okay with women who also sleep around

B) change my own habits to not chase after easy bar tail

 

Even though I love easy sex, I wouldn't be living up to the principles I expect my future dates to uphold.

 

So I'll be picking option B

 

A woman who has sex with 15+ men is just a turn-off because I want to feel like I "won" her and she was a challenge and not dropping her panties for a free drink.

 

A woman can enjoy sex but in committed relationships just like me.

 

I'm not religious in the slightest but still feel sex shouldn't be like eating your favorite dish at a fast food joint.

 

I see all these women empowerment shows like sex and the city, feminism, putting women on a pedestal, encouraging women to use their bodies to satisfy their ego and self esteem.

 

The more hearts she can break the more modern and you go girl praise she gets.

 

But this is just the same form of encouragement guys get when guys get together and say "yeah bro I banged her" and "I ****ed her fast" or "she was easy"

 

I'm not saying sex is bad I think it's great I just don't like the kind of person the guy or gal become because I would never find a party girl suitable for anything more than a ONS.

 

Biologically I want to go off to an island beach party and sleep with as many women as I can but then I'll be becoming what I don't like.

 

I'm 29 and I've slept with 11 women. Not too high.

 

But I'm reading stories of women who lie about their number or have numbers as high as 30 or 40 and it's just disgusting

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edit link and remove the word 'dumpster'.
Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted

You've slept with 11 women and you don't think that's disgusting.

 

Where exactly is the 'disgust' threshold then?

 

What would you do if you met a woman who thinks that 11 is disgusting?

  • Like 17
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted

40 is high? lol

Everything is relative. If she started dating at 18 and she's 28. If she has 20 partners that makes 2 partner per year. That's pretty conservative for someone single.

 

I much prefer being with someone who's been around and got it out of his system and is now ready to settle than being with someone with a low number and while we're together he's haunted by being with other women and wonders what he's missing out there while he's with me.

  • Like 6
Jj66 Established Member

Jj66

Posted
Posted
You've slept with 11 women and you don't think that's disgusting.

 

Where exactly is the 'disgust' threshold then?

 

What would you do if you met a woman who thinks that 11 is disgusting?

 

That's why I always lie and say I'm a virgin when asked about my number. :cool:

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harkkam Established Member

harkkam

Posted
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40 is high? lol

Everything is relative. If she started dating at 18 and she's 28. If she has 20 partners that makes 2 partner per year. That's pretty conservative for someone single.

 

I much prefer being with someone who's been around and got it out of his system and is now ready to settle than being with someone with a low number and while we're together he's haunted by being with other women and wonders what he's missing out there while he's with me.

 

She may be in a relationship with a guy from 18-25 for example, then she goes on a tear and sleeps with 12 guys for 8 months and treats sex like a joke, cue valley girl voice "like omg did you see Brandon, I would **** his brains out on the table right now if I could" vs a woman who is like "hey Brandon is cute and I'd like to date him"

 

It's the attitude toward sex and not the actual number really.

 

10 vs 15 doesn't make a difference it's how she went about it

 

This modern women sex and the city type empowerment is disgusting to be frank and has gone to far.

 

Women are not men and should not act like men when talking about sex.

  • Like 1
Maleficent Established Member

Maleficent

Posted
Posted

The 1940s called. They want you back.

  • Like 29
Jj66 Established Member

Jj66

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Posted (edited)

Why don't we all wear our number on our foreheads? Slut shaming and stud praising would be so much easier then. Just sayin'

 

Or maybe we just become mature and secure enough not to ask about these things. Really, unless someone was a virgin or had made a profession out of it why would you even care?

Edited by Jj66
  • Like 10
Lois_Griffin Established Member

Lois_Griffin

Posted
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Women are not men and should not act like men when talking about sex.

How quaint.

 

But I'll bet you're one of those guys screaming and hollering about how women should pay for half the date because of 'equality.'

 

I guess you use the equality argument when it BENEFITS you.

 

Got it. :rolleyes:

  • Like 14
lino Established Member

lino

Posted
Posted

A possible promiscuous woman is a very valid concern for a man potentially wanting her as a girl friend or more.

 

Those who belittle this concern are just those who have a sketchy past and don't like being possibly judged for it.

They're funnily enough, happy to judge men on other things but of course, that's acceptable!

 

Everyone's past is an indicator of who they are, man or woman.

Every man (or woman) should he able to discontinue or discard someone if they're not happy with their promiscuity. It just so happens that sleeping around is more attractive to women than it is to men.

 

Having said that, if the OP is happy to sleep around then he can't complain if women like to as well. That'd be hypocritical.

  • Like 12
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harkkam Established Member

harkkam

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A possible promiscuous woman is a very valid concern for a man potentially wanting her as a girl friend or more.

 

Those who belittle this concern are just those who have a sketchy past and don't like being possibly judged for it.

They're funnily enough, happy to judge men on other things but of course, that's acceptable!

 

Everyone's past is an indicator of who they are, man or woman.

Every man (or woman) should he able to discontinue or discard someone if they're not happy with their promiscuity. It just so happens that sleeping around is more attractive to women than it is to men.

 

Having said that, if the OP is happy to sleep around then he can't complain if women like to as well. That'd be hypocritical.

 

 

Nailed it bro.

  • Like 2
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harkkam Established Member

harkkam

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How quaint.

 

But I'll bet you're one of those guys screaming and hollering about how women should pay for half the date because of 'equality.'

 

I guess you use the equality argument when it BENEFITS you.

 

Got it. :rolleyes:

 

 

 

I don't really care how old fashioned or quaint an idea may be, the fact people used to feel like this does not invalidate how I feel.

 

I believe:

-Man should pay for first two dates

-Man should help with chores equally

-That who makes more money doesn't matter

-Who does the cooking and cleaning doesn't matter

-Man can be a stay at home guy and take care of the children

 

So no equality has no bearing on the fact that women are being raised to treat sex like its another thing to consume and throw away.

 

Sorry....

  • Like 1
Penguin_hugs Established Member

Penguin_hugs

Posted
Posted

Why do people have to ask? Surely that's a private thing. I think if I knew my BF's number then I would just obsess about it!

 

When he asked me to be his GF, he told me he'd had 2 girlfriends when he was 18 and another for about 3 years after that- but they had broken up about 18 months before we met. I don't need to know any more details. That's his private life.

 

I told him I had dated but never had a BF. He never once asked me about whether I had slept with these people. I'd fooled around but never sex- butI never had to specifically say that to him.

 

Why does it matter? The number of partners doesn't influence sexual prowess. You might have had 10 ONS in a year or a partner for 10 months- where I expect you would have had sex a lot more than that!

 

I reckon you should stop asking dates. It shouldn't influence the relationship between the two of you

  • Like 5
Siquijor Established Member

Siquijor

Posted
Posted

Sounds like you've got a fetish for numbers OP. Are you an accountant by any chance?

  • Like 7
guest569 Established Member

guest569

Posted
Posted
Those who belittle this concern are just those who have a sketchy past and don't like being possibly judged for it.

 

Nah. OP is roughly my age has screwed ten times more peoplle than I have, should I call him disgusting?

  • Like 6
Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
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I honestly don't care what people did before I met them.

 

I wasn't there, so it's not my business.

  • Like 7
elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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I do not believe any women wants a manwh*re for a serious long term relationship any more than a man wants a promiscuous woman.

 

That myth is peddled around by men who feel that despite their large numbers, they are still perfectly entitled to a woman with a low number.

 

"YOU are a sl*t, but I merely sowed some wild oats.

I am allowed to do that, and I NEED to do that, as I am a man."

:sick:

  • Like 8
Clarence_Boddicker Established Member

Clarence_Boddicker

Posted
Posted

As long as someone is clean & is in a committed relationship, I don't understand the obsession with the past. How do you even come up with a threshold for being disgusting? Is there a formula or app for that?

  • Like 3
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harkkam Established Member

harkkam

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Sounds like you've got a fetish for numbers OP. Are you an accountant by any chance?

 

 

 

Lmao yes actually!

  • Like 1
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Posted

Women are not men and should not act like men when talking about sex.

 

Why?

 

Why is a sexually assertive woman disgusting but not a man?

 

How is her number any indication of how she will conduct herself in a relationship?

 

I've had my phase of casual sex and my number would have your eyes fall out of your head, yet, when I am in a relationship I am totally devoted and loyal and I don't even lay my eyes on other men. My longest relationship was 15 years.

 

What's your theory again? that a promiscuous single woman is also a promiscuous woman in a relationship? You may want to revisit that theory.

  • Like 6
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harkkam Established Member

harkkam

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I do not believe any women wants a manwh*re for a serious long term relationship any more than a man wants a promiscuous woman.

 

That myth is peddled around by men who feel that despite their large numbers, they are still perfectly entitled to a woman with a low number.

 

"YOU are a sl*t, but I merely sowed some wild oats.

I am allowed to do that, and I NEED to do that, as I am a man."

:sick:

 

 

 

Yes I agree with this

 

Not fair for a man to sleep around and then expect the woman not to

 

I'm saying hookup culture sucks

  • Like 1
autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

Posted
Posted

Honestly, before I married, there's no WAY I would have touched someone who had slept with 11 women because I was a virgin.

 

If you have slept around, you don't get to have an opinion about the woman's sexual past.

  • Like 4
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harkkam Established Member

harkkam

Posted
  • Author
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Why?

 

Why is a sexually assertive woman disgusting but not a man?

 

How is her number any indication of how she will conduct herself in a relationship?

 

I've had my phase of casual sex and my number would have your eyes fall out of your head, yet, when I am in a relationship I am totally devoted and loyal and I don't even lay my eyes on other men. My longest relationship was 15 years.

 

What's your theory again? that a promiscuous single woman is also a promiscuous woman in a relationship? You may want to revisit that theory.

 

 

Sorry I just don't like woman of your type and most men don't either just read any man forums and you'll know.

 

You do what you want I just don't want more and more women growing up with your attitudes which means less women men like me want to marry

  • Mad 1
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
Sorry I just don't like woman of your type and most men don't either just read any man forums and you'll know.

 

You do what you want I just don't want more and more women growing up with your attitudes which means less women men like me want to marry

 

Like me? You mean loyal, honest, understanding, patient, faithful to a fault... OK!

  • Like 6
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harkkam Established Member

harkkam

Posted
  • Author
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Honestly, before I married, there's no WAY I would have touched someone who had slept with 11 women because I was a virgin.

 

If you have slept around, you don't get to have an opinion about the woman's sexual past.

 

 

 

I'm talking about the women in clubs who sleep with 40 guys in a year

Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted

If someone asked me how many people I've slept with, I would go for absolute honesty and say, "Not as many as I would have liked."

  • Like 11
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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