DavidBooty Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 We've been dating for almost two years now. I'm 18 and she's 17. I live with my parents and sisters so my girlfriend comes over to visit and they do allow her to stay the night! But my mom already had a talk with me about how she will NOT be allowed to live with us. My girlfriend is very sweet and tries to be helpful when she's here. She's so kind and gentle but at the same time she's very eccentric and has an animated personality. It's hard to explain. She's very unique and fun. Like an anime character. Well, my whole family hates her! They say horrible things about her when she's not there. Whenever she goes home they say that she's fake, mentally retarded, going out to cheat on me. One of my sisters is very fake sweet to her face and the rest of my family are just kind of awkward around her and hint to her that she's unliked but my gf doesn't pick up on it. She thinks they love her and believes the very best about them and likes them a lot. My mom hates her the most and never lets me forget it. My mother tells me she's manipulative, "nothing but trouble", and fake but she couldn't be more wrong about her. It's been like this for a while now and they are starting to poke at her more and show their distaste for her in very subtle ways and my girlfriend doesn't see it! I want them to stop it. I love her and she's so sweet. She's so sensitive too. Should I tell her that my family hates her? How can I get them to maybe like her more? 1
kitkatleen Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 We've been dating for almost two years now. I'm 18 and she's 17. I live with my parents and sisters so my girlfriend comes over to visit and they do allow her to stay the night! But my mom already had a talk with me about how she will NOT be allowed to live with us. My girlfriend is very sweet and tries to be helpful when she's here. She's so kind and gentle but at the same time she's very eccentric and has an animated personality. It's hard to explain. She's very unique and fun. Like an anime character. Well, my whole family hates her! They say horrible things about her when she's not there. Whenever she goes home they say that she's fake, mentally retarded, going out to cheat on me. One of my sisters is very fake sweet to her face and the rest of my family are just kind of awkward around her and hint to her that she's unliked but my gf doesn't pick up on it. She thinks they love her and believes the very best about them and likes them a lot. My mom hates her the most and never lets me forget it. My mother tells me she's manipulative, "nothing but trouble", and fake but she couldn't be more wrong about her. It's been like this for a while now and they are starting to poke at her more and show their distaste for her in very subtle ways and my girlfriend doesn't see it! I want them to stop it. I love her and she's so sweet. She's so sensitive too. Should I tell her that my family hates her? How can I get them to maybe like her more? If i was her, it would HURT me alot to know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. What will happen when she knows? She will probably avoid them and there will be loads of fights between you & her about your family. I've been through this situation. My ex's family HATES me for the most ridiculous reasons and i knew about it because he tells me. They are always talking bad about me and he doesn't speak up for me. Eventually it kinda "destroyed" our r/s because he is stuck between us. At first i tried to talk to them and be nice but they were so fake.... in the end i started hating them and we fought alot. Have you tried explaining to your parents? If she's sensitive (i am also), it would be hell if you told her. You need to judge by yourself because we don't know her or your family so we can't tell you who is right. Maybe love is blind, maybe your family is crazy. Eventually you'll grow up and move out. She's the one who is gonna spend the rest of your lives with. If you think she's perfect, fight for her. If not let her go to find her happiness. My ex did, i was hurt BUT i'm SO MUCH better now.
mightycpa Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Well, that's going to be a problem for you, because they'll never think any differently. If you tell her, you'll just hurt her. But what you should really be thinking about is the fact that ALL of your family doesn't like her. That says a lot, unless they are the eccentric ones, and you're like some island of normalcy in a chaotic family. If that's not your situation, you might want to start listening with an open mind, especially because you're so young.
h0000 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 you are just teens. Both of you will chance a lot and your personal view will change a lot as well. In fact you two will 99% break up in the future so why bother so much
SawtoothMars Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I love her and she's so sweet. She's so sensitive too. Should I tell her that my family hates her? How can I get them to maybe like her more? Is your family generally like this? From your description your GF sounds like an amazing person that I would want to both keep in my life and protect. Protecting her may mean laying down the law with your family. It kind of sounds like your father isn't in the picture here. I have twice had to put the smackdown on my mom for being less than nice with a GF. The way I see it... My Mother is required to respect my choice in a mate as a stipulation of my involvement in the family. I one time walked out for 11 months... I even skipped Thanksgiving until they promised to be nice and we came over for Christmas. Which was a disaster because it led to me chewing out 2 family members for being sarcastic pricks! Of course my situation also had a racial component.... but it may still help you. The thing about family is that you can be a hard @ss with them and they will take you back! 1
SSM3 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 If you tell her it will be the start of the end, trust me, I have been there too.
Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 No - I don't think you should tell her. But I do think you should talk to your family. Your young. To be realistic this is unlikely to be the woman that you marry. Take heed of what your family say. Unless they are normally unreasonable or nasty people they will have reasons for their doubts and will want to protect you.
badpenny Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 you are just teens. Both of you will chance a lot and your personal view will change a lot as well. In fact you two will 99% break up in the future so why bother so much I have to agree with this. It's as rare as hen's teeth that 'teen relationships' last beyond 24 or so... and even that's pushing it. Enjoy it while it lasts, because it's highly doubtful you are each other's "The One", 'Soulmate or 'love of my life'. Particularly if your family feels that way about her. The poor girl's scuppered before it starts...!
fitnessfan365 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 It sucks man and I completely get what you're going through. My parents (especially my mom) hated my first GF with a passion. So I was constantly torn between loyalty to my family and loyalty to her. It really was an impossible and stressful situation. My advice? Don't tell her. It's your family's problem and has nothing to do with the relationship you and your girl have. But even though you should love and respect your parents, you have to be your own man. If you hate the way your family feels about your GF, stand up for her and set them straight. That's part of what growing up and being a man is all about. 3
kendahke Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/519422-my-family-my-girlfriend http://www.loveshack.org/forums/roma...ex#post6207857 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/roma...ated-my-sister I have a girlfriend who I've been dating for almost a year now and she has always been the sweetest girl.. We're both 24. I am an 18 year old guy and I have a 17 year old girlfriend who is almost 18. From your other threads here, I'd say your family has very good reason to hate your girlfriend. 2
Recommended Posts