Blu3coats Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I've been browsing these forums for quite some time trying to absorb in as much advice as I can to help me with my "search." Today has just been my breaking point and I needed to vent. Got done with classes today and there was this girl whom I've been wanting to talk to/take out. I hyped myself up ALL WEEKEND LONG . "I'm gonna say this, and this, and this." I had it all planned out. I got b*tch butterflies and ended up leaving with nothing. I started to psych myself out saying; "Oh well... it's Monday. No girl wants to be hit on on a Monday. She's probably too tired from the weekend" --- this is one of many excuses I came up with. Got in my car realizing that I HAVE to put myself out there. I'm SOOOOOO tired of letting opportunities go, guys. If I got rejected, FINE! But I hate NOT knowing what the outcome would have been. I'm so frustrated... 2
Potz4prez Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Start obeying a "3 second rule." See a girl you like? Go say something to her within 3 seconds of noticing her. Don't give yourself time to think. The longer you wait, the worse it gets. If you wait all semester to talk to a girl, you've already idealized her and the fear of failure will overwhelm you. 6
Fondue Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 (edited) Bro, we've all been there. Trust me. We know 'dem feelz. Edited August 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed url 2
SunshineOnMe Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Here's my advice: Go For It Trust me women/men LOVE confidence. Sure we know that you might be a bit nervous when approaching, but that fact that your DOING something speaks volumes. 99% of guy will not approach these days because they are scared. From nerd (no disrespect) to your jock. I've seen many gorgeous men crumble in fear and don't approach. The only men I see these days approaching women are in bars & clubs... with the assistance on alcohol. take that away and they're in that 99% I was talking about. 1
preraph Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 My advice is you don't just go up and ask her out but you just talk to her and that you talk to other people as well. Just talking to her about nothing in particular, a class, the weather, whatever, shouldn't be that scary. Then if she seems really friendly and you find out what's going on in her life, well, it's not that big a step to then ask her out after a day or so. 2
Mrin Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 My advice is you don't just go up and ask her out but you just talk to her and that you talk to other people as well. Just talking to her about nothing in particular, a class, the weather, whatever, shouldn't be that scary. Then if she seems really friendly and you find out what's going on in her life, well, it's not that big a step to then ask her out after a day or so. This. But if you really like this girl, don't make her the first woman you approach. Seriously, go to a mall or a park and pretty much observe the 3 second rule and hit on a bunch of women. Try different approaches. Expect to get shot down 99% of the time. But you'll get more comfortable putting yourself out there. Then approach the girl from class. 1
Supernatural Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I got b*tch butterflies and ended up leaving with nothing. I started to psych myself out saying; "Oh well... it's Monday. No girl wants to be hit on on a Monday. She's probably too tired from the weekend" HAHAHAH. That's a hilarious excuse. Best one ever! Imagine if you hit on her and she was like: "Uuhhh.. what are you doing? It's Monday. Everyone knows us women don't like to be hit on, on Mondays... I'm lyke tired." *walks away* ------ Regret sucks. But you can also learn from it. 2
Author Blu3coats Posted August 25, 2014 Author Posted August 25, 2014 HAHAHAH. That's a hilarious excuse. Best one ever! Imagine if you hit on her and she was like: "Uuhhh.. what are you doing? It's Monday. Everyone knows us women don't like to be hit on, on Mondays... I'm lyke tired." *walks away* ------ Regret sucks. But you can also learn from it. Hahah. You can see why I'm beating myself up. It's ridiculous excuses that screw me up.
Potz4prez Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 My advice is you don't just go up and ask her out but you just talk to her and that you talk to other people as well. Just talking to her about nothing in particular, a class, the weather, whatever, shouldn't be that scary. Then if she seems really friendly and you find out what's going on in her life, well, it's not that big a step to then ask her out after a day or so. This. I talk to every cute girl I get a chance to. Most of the time all I get is a little friendly chit-chat, which is fine - both of us walk away in a better mood because of it (I actually recently got gifted some free tomatoes and peppers from some random girl I talked to haha). Occasionally you'll talk to a girl that shows some interest, and that's when you walk away with a number. 2
Author Blu3coats Posted August 25, 2014 Author Posted August 25, 2014 I appreciate all of the advice. Part of the reason why I've been so hesitant is due to the fact that I don't know if I'm her "type." Okay so I've done a bit a stalking on her Twitter... sue me lol. But from what I saw she SEEMS to be into the country guys. I'm... more of a west coast style. Surfer lingo, backwards hat, "dude" is part of my everyday vocabulary. I hope I'm making sense. She also seems to be more of a party girl, and I'm more of a campfire on the beach with some friends guy. Mind you this is ALLLL pre-mature assumption. I probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place. I just hope to have you guys understand where my nervousness is coming from.
mightycpa Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 You have become the very thing you seek, without actually having made contact. A pussy. Now get out there and cure what ails ya! I'm just funnin' with ya. We've all been there. Like everything else, it gets easier with practice. Prepare to be pelted with rejection. Unless you're a total goon, it will happen much less often than you fear. 1
Mrin Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I appreciate all of the advice. Part of the reason why I've been so hesitant is due to the fact that I don't know if I'm her "type." Okay so I've done a bit a stalking on her Twitter... sue me lol. But from what I saw she SEEMS to be into the country guys. I'm... more of a west coast style. Surfer lingo, backwards hat, "dude" is part of my everyday vocabulary. I hope I'm making sense. She also seems to be more of a party girl, and I'm more of a campfire on the beach with some friends guy. Mind you this is ALLLL pre-mature assumption. I probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place. I just hope to have you guys understand where my nervousness is coming from. I speak bro... Seriously man, don't over think this. The lady I am dating was _all_ country. Then I mentioned some EDM and she came alive. While country is her driving around thing, EDM is what gets her fired up. Don't be such a beat down on this. Man up and send it. Opposites attract and who knows, she might really enjoy learning your world. 2
smackie9 Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Stop putting girls up on a pedestal. Just say hi to her and see her reaction. If it's positive ask her for her name, then talk about the class to break the ice, take it from there. 2
iDrumKing Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Man used to hunt mammoths to survive and you're afraid to talk to one girl. Wrap your head around this... All jokes asides though man, listen to what people are saying. The general consensus is that you just need to go for it. Easier said than done... or is it? 1
Author Blu3coats Posted August 26, 2014 Author Posted August 26, 2014 I see where you are coming from. Say she is in my class though... and if I were to be rejected, it's not those "you'll never see her again" situation. What then?
Mrin Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 I see where you are coming from. Say she is in my class though... and if I were to be rejected, it's not those "you'll never see her again" situation. What then? You seduce her best friend. /sarcasm Honestly? You just deal. Rejection isn't the end of the world. The sting will wear off in a couple of days especially if you start dating someone else. It really isn't a big deal. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Fortune favors the bold. I could give you all sorts of sayings like that but it is only a big deal if you make it so. 1
Author Blu3coats Posted August 26, 2014 Author Posted August 26, 2014 You seduce her best friend. /sarcasm Honestly? You just deal. Rejection isn't the end of the world. The sting will wear off in a couple of days especially if you start dating someone else. It really isn't a big deal. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Fortune favors the bold. I could give you all sorts of sayings like that but it is only a big deal if you make it so. I feel you, dude. Thanks so much. Mind if I keep you updated?
Mrin Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 I feel you, dude. Thanks so much. Mind if I keep you updated? Totally! Please do. Good luck man. You'll do fine and once you do it, regardless of how it turns out, no mo regret!
smackie9 Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 (edited) Quote: Originally Posted by Blu3coats "Say she is in my class though... and if I were to be rejected, it's not those "you'll never see her again" situation. What then?" I tell you what you do..... nothing. It's all in your head with all the awkwardness, etc. I have turned guys down, and I never think about it again even if I see them later. Girls move on from it in a split second. You need to cut out your anxiety and move on from it as well. Edited August 26, 2014 by smackie9 1
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