MrNate 2.0 Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 (edited) How deep would you say your desire to be taken? Say if you were a ladies man, just an absolute hit with the ladies, would you be as ready to settle down? Or would you have just a little bit more fun before making that decision? I guess that could also be phrased as if you were able to have a fulfilling sex life with a variety of women outside of a relationship (the stuff you may dream about), would you be as ready/willing to get in one? Just an interesting question that came to mind. Of course if you primary driver was a relationship, then this thread probably wouldn't apply to ya. Edited January 31, 2014 by MrNate 2.0 Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 "How deep would you say your desire to be taken?" What? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 "How deep would you say your desire to be taken?" What? My thought exactly! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Mango Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 My thought exactly! Basically. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I think that a lot of men settle down because they don't have enough options to live the playboy lifestyle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Never been much of a casual sex/play the field kind of person so I guess I 'settled down' a long time ago. Probably there aren't many male forum members who've passed up sexual opportunities with attractive women. I have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yookie Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I think most want to have their cake and eat it too! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I don't desire to be taken. I never desired to be single. I have always, and will forever, desire to be happy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 It wasn't until I was doing EOL care and encountering spouses doing same for their loved ones who were not only dying but didn't even know them anymore that I really put a fine point on what 'settling down' was, even though I was married at the time, so supposedly 'settled down'. It was watching these spouses, both men and women, rolling their demented and dying spouses around in a wheelchair, holding their hand, talking to them, stroking their hair, feeding them, day in and day out; that's when I knew what 'settled down' really meant. For a lifetime. Great life lesson. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 How deep would you say your desire to be taken? Say if you were a ladies man, just an absolute hit with the ladies, would you be as ready to settle down? Or would you have just a little bit more fun before making that decision? I guess that could also be phrased as if you were able to have a fulfilling sex life with a variety of women outside of a relationship (the stuff you may dream about), would you be as ready/willing to get in one? Just an interesting question that came to mind. Of course if you primary driver was a relationship, then this thread probably wouldn't apply to ya. I never settled.....I just was smart enough to see someone who was perfect for me and wanted to start the rest of our lives right away. I am old fashioned and value marriage and she does too. I think your question is really if you have a choice and could screw anyone you wanted and you were pursued and had lots of lovers, would you still have gotten married? Definite yes. Though I never considered myself a ladies man, I was a jock in high school and military, loved the fairer sex, always had girls chasing me, met and bedded some amazing women around the world without very little effort on my part, and when I met her, all of that just seemed like a hobby I used to enjoy. (That is why I am careful about replying to threads about young men not being able to get laid.....no data.) My wife says maybe that is why I am so happy in marriage. I sowed my wild oats and was able to live in my younger years what most men pursue for their entire lives....a lot of sex with different women because the sex gives some men validation for being enough. I disagree because I pursue that validation through work and competitiveness. Yet, she most likely has some semblance of a point. I am aware I sound cocky, but really I place little ego on the success I had with women. I mean, I barely did anything so it wasn't really an accomplishment. I know I didn't have game. I know that me being confused and liking to be left alone often made women comment on how mysterious I was. I know the more I resisted them settling me down the more they pursued me until it just became annoying. I had to become very good at differentiating the women who really wanted fun and sex from the women who thought sex would make me fall in love with them. Marriage may be an antiquated institution to some, but as my wife and our life together is the most important thing in my world, I find a lot of peace and joy being here. Sometimes I think negative experiences are recorded more than positive ones so people only see the side of marriage that is draining and dysfunctional. Mine just isn't like that because we see ourselves as a team, not opposition. Perhaps I read wrong and this isn't what this thread was about at all, if so, then I am a knucklehead with poor reading comprehension. Happily Married, Grumps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrNate 2.0 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Share Posted January 31, 2014 I think that a lot of men settle down because they don't have enough options to live the playboy lifestyle. I actually share the same sentiments. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 It wasn't until I was doing EOL care and encountering spouses doing same for their loved ones who were not only dying but didn't even know them anymore that I really put a fine point on what 'settling down' was, even though I was married at the time, so supposedly 'settled down'. It was watching these spouses, both men and women, rolling their demented and dying spouses around in a wheelchair, holding their hand, talking to them, stroking their hair, feeding them, day in and day out; that's when I knew what 'settled down' really meant. For a lifetime. Great life lesson. I have seen that too when my mum was in hospital. It made me feel that I want that and also sad to realize that I may never find it. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I think that a lot of men settle down because they don't have enough options to live the playboy lifestyle. Oh man, harsh. I got married when I was 21, but I'm tellin' ya, had I stayed in play I would have been a playboy-osaurus, dammit. It's all good. No regrets. Usually. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrNate 2.0 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Share Posted January 31, 2014 I never settled.....I just was smart enough to see someone who was perfect for me and wanted to start the rest of our lives right away. I am old fashioned and value marriage and she does too. I think your question is really if you have a choice and could screw anyone you wanted and you were pursued and had lots of lovers, would you still have gotten married? Definite yes. Though I never considered myself a ladies man, I was a jock in high school and military, loved the fairer sex, always had girls chasing me, met and bedded some amazing women around the world without very little effort on my part, and when I met her, all of that just seemed like a hobby I used to enjoy. (That is why I am careful about replying to threads about young men not being able to get laid.....no data.) My wife says maybe that is why I am so happy in marriage. I sowed my wild oats and was able to live in my younger years what most men pursue for their entire lives....a lot of sex with different women because the sex gives some men validation for being enough. I disagree because I pursue that validation through work and competitiveness. Yet, she most likely has some semblance of a point. I am aware I sound cocky, but really I place little ego on the success I had with women. I mean, I barely did anything so it wasn't really an accomplishment. I know I didn't have game. I know that me being confused and liking to be left alone often made women comment on how mysterious I was. I know the more I resisted them settling me down the more they pursued me until it just became annoying. I had to become very good at differentiating the women who really wanted fun and sex from the women who thought sex would make me fall in love with them. Marriage may be an antiquated institution to some, but as my wife and our life together is the most important thing in my world, I find a lot of peace and joy being here. Sometimes I think negative experiences are recorded more than positive ones so people only see the side of marriage that is draining and dysfunctional. Mine just isn't like that because we see ourselves as a team, not opposition. Perhaps I read wrong and this isn't what this thread was about at all, if so, then I am a knucklehead with poor reading comprehension. Happily Married, Grumps haha thanks for the contribution, grumps. So I have a question about the bolded. Say if that weren't the case, would you have been as ready willing to tie the knot? Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I actually share the same sentiments. There are also quite a few men that would like a primary girlfriend for security and safety but wish they were allowed to sleep around or at least sleep around without getting caught. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrNate 2.0 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Share Posted February 1, 2014 There are also quite a few men that would like a primary girlfriend for security and safety but wish they were allowed to sleep around or at least sleep around without getting caught. You actually bring up an interesting point. I'd venture to say most men cheat usually for physical reasons. I often wonder if it's that taste for variety that is the primary driver. Actually.. that would make sense. Sex wouldn't be a primary driver for most women to settle down, as getting that is surely quite a breeze. So maybe that's why they're typically ready sooner. Hm. I wonder, would those men be prob be better off with a main woman, and some side women? Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 haha thanks for the contribution, grumps. So I have a question about the bolded. Say if that weren't the case, would you have been as ready willing to tie the knot? Therein lies the question really as each experience changes and molds us. I became who I am from a myriad of experiences so I would probably still have had the same character overall and would have wanted a wife, a house, a career, etc. However, I wonder if I wasn't who I am if my wife who is beautiful, smart and successful would have even looked my way as I met her on a baseball field and it was my looks that initially got her attention. If she hadn't been my option for marriage, would I have pursued it? Details and factors make this hard to answer. On the extreme side.....I personally think it possible if I never got any female attention and never got laid, I would probably pursue that with the tenacity of an archeologist trying to find the Holy Grail. I would place more value on it than marriage because my formative years were probably spent obsessing over it. Good questions, Grumps Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 I think that a lot of men settle down because they don't have enough options to live the playboy lifestyle. Guess what Eternal, I met a guy recently and, no kidding, he actually doesn't want the play boy lifestyle:lmao: I know it's rare. But he's definitely hot enough to have casual sex with a lot of attractive women. He just doesn't want to. It doesn't appeal to him..... He wants to find a woman to spend his life with and start a family with. I feel verryyyyy lucky to have him. Given we seem to have a very healthy dose of chemistry. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 I am committed to one woman but in no way do I feel I have settled. I am damn lucky to have found somebody like this and have no desire to be with other women. On an intellectual level I can tell other women are attractive but she is the only one I want. The only time the player lifestyle appealed to me was after I just got out of a horrible first marriage. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Settling down with the right woman is in my genes. My moral compass makes it very difficult for me to "play around." When I find "that" woman, I think about commitment, not how it will trap me or prevent me from having more fun. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Actually.. that would make sense. Sex wouldn't be a primary driver for most women to settle down, as getting that is surely quite a breeze. So maybe that's why they're typically ready sooner. Hm. For women, all sex isn't equal. Finding a man who really does it for you is rare, and addictive. You crave him, specifically. And it doesn't wear off after having sex with him a few times; feelings develop and the need for him gets even stronger. Does this not happen for men? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 I don't think that just because you can live the "playboy" lifestyle means you want to. Now perhaps I'm in denial or something (but I don't think so...) about my own relationship.........but my BF DID live the playboy lifestyle all through college and a couple years after. He was the epitome of it all. When we met he was 26 and he was looking for a girlfriend...for someone to be in a serious relationship with. IMO he can still get tons of girls, he's attractive and ridiculously charming. But he actually wants something more. Isn't that called growing up? I guess I am trusting of him and don't think he settled because I was a female version of him, I wasn't as crazy as he was but I was the type of chick the bitter guys on here all bitch about. And then I grew up more and wanted something more. So I trust that he TRULY wants a relationship because I grew into wanting that myself. Link to post Share on other sites
georgecostanza Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 I've got virtually no desire for a relationship at the moment, if I did meet somebody she would need to be willing to quit her job and home to come travelling with me. I'm moving abroad to teach English next year and that's something I won't budge on. Recently decided that I don't want kids at all and I'm not fussed about getting married. So yeah, that's where I stand on settling down. Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Isn't that called growing up? It's a case of changing priorities. Growing up has nothing to do with it. Playboys may not be popular with women on this site but that doesn't mean they aren't adults with adult responsibilities. There's no growing up needed. Relationships don't make them happy so why pursue them? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Barbarossa Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 If I had a very high socioeconomic status there is no way in hell I would settle down. As my socioeconomic status should be average my entire life I will settle down. Link to post Share on other sites
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