Don't flaunt it...if....

[irc333]

...if you're not looking for a man who just wants to get laid.

 

This is a phrase I saw mentioned by a woman in a profile..."If you're here to just get laid, please move on"

 

I do admit though, this was a very attractive mid-30's latin woman, but in ALL her photos, she had blouses that were exposing half her breasts (I mean literally half.

 

It was the type of cleaveage bearing blouse where, I guess if you seen some Hollywood starletts that "E" Reporters are interviewing..t.he kind of blouse that ends WAY below the breasts to somewhere just below the rib cage or just above the belly button. The sides of the blouse split apart so widely, reveraling the left side of one breast, and the right side of the other.

 

In all of her photos she's posing with these kind of blouses, I mean it doesn't bother me to look at them, she looked great.

 

However, should a more conservative look be appropriate if you're not wanting to send the guys the wrong message by flaunting ones breasts in such a manner?

 

But having ALL photos in your profile, would make me wonder if that's what that woman's entire wardrobe pretty much consists of. lol

Edited October 2, 2010 by irc333

[brainygirl]

They were probably her "out on the town" clothes. I wont say I dress like that, but aren't you supposed to put pics up that are of you looking nice? I figure that's what she did. And a woman should be able to dress attractively without having labeled herself as wanting sex.

[porter218]

maybe I should change my pictures... I have a few bikini pics up, but thats because if I'm not at work I'm in a pool or at the beach. I think one of the only clothed pics I have from the last yr is this avatar here:laugh:(and even in that dress there is a bikini underneath). I know what I will do, dress like a slob with holy sweats messy hair and have a friend take a few pics then find what type of responses I get from my newly "improved" profile. tehehehe

[TigerCub]

And a woman should be able to dress attractively without having labeled herself as wanting sex.

 

Yeah in an ideal world.

But it doesn't work that way.

I'm not saying this as a judgement to people that don't dress conservatively. I'm not one that dresses conservatively either, but I've come to accept that short skirts + high heals = a lot of guys that think they can just f*ck you.

 

It's annoying, but that's the way things are.

I'm not completely sknanky, and I'm not going to wear things that aren't comfortable for me either - but I accept that sometimes a certain look/way of dressing, sends a message - that leads some guys to assume false things. It's just the way it is, unfortunately.

 

Edit: there's diff levels of "attractively". the pics described in OP may be seen as "skanky" by some, "attractive" by others..

[irc333]

I actually saw this woman, a PhD in the medical field had probably about 3 out of 5 of her pics were bikini pics.

 

I would it depends on the enviroment.

 

If you're changing in and out of bikinis in your living room or bedroom....and then taking pics of yourself in your bedroom....I dunno about that.

 

But if you're in a bikini in a more natural environment....like a spur of the moment pic actually AT the beach or pool or something, that's more natural looking.

 

If it looked like you put on the bikini or outfit JUST for the dating profile, in your own living room or bedroom...doesn't appear as natural. And seems like its more for "show".

 

Now, if you mix them up with casual and sexy clothes, that's cool, but ALL or a good majority of the pics? Hmmmm

 

 

maybe I should change my pictures... I have a few bikini pics up, but thats because if I'm not at work I'm in a pool or at the beach. I think one of the only clothed pics I have from the last yr is this avatar here:laugh:(and even in that dress there is a bikini underneath). I know what I will do, dress like a slob with holy sweats messy hair and have a friend take a few pics then find what type of responses I get from my newly "improved" profile. tehehehe

[irc333]

Yeah in an ideal world.

But it doesn't work that way.

I'm not saying this as a judgement to people that don't dress conservatively. I'm not one that dresses conservatively either, but I've come to accept that short skirts + high heals = a lot of guys that think they can just f*ck you.

 

It's annoying, but that's the way things are.

I'm not completely sknanky, and I'm not going to wear things that aren't comfortable for me either - but I accept that sometimes a certain look/way of dressing, sends a message - that leads some guys to assume false things. It's just the way it is, unfortunately.

 

Edit: there's diff levels of "attractively". the pics described in OP may be seen as "skanky" by some, "attractive" by others..

 

Well, I guess if you wear them out in public its one thing....but a dating profile means you're going out of your way to draw unwanted attention to yourself?

[brainygirl]

Well, I guess if you wear them out in public its one thing....but a dating profile means you're going out of your way to draw unwanted attention to yourself?

 

Its a dating profile, its meant to draw attention to yourself. . . . .

[sanskrit]

Live by the sword, die by the sword. If anyone, male or female uses their body primarily to attract the opposite sex, they can't later complain that they were unduly categorized or objectified.

 

So since pictures are the primary part of the dating ad, the most honest part actually, as anyone can write any old thing they please, and they are public on the internet, anyone can see them, I personally apply higher standards to dating profiles than other pictures.

 

Men outnumber women to such a degree on dating sites, that women with bodies good enough to show in a bikini are going to get lots of responses anyway, skin pics or no, so there are some bad connotations associated, at least in my mind, with women who show lots of skin in their profiles. When I see lots of skin in a profile, I assign a greater chance that particular woman may have body obsession issues or some other emotional issues. It's a matter of good versus poor judgment as much as anything.

[brainygirl]

Live by the sword, die by the sword. If anyone, male or female uses their body primarily to attract the opposite sex, they can't later complain that they were unduly categorized or objectified.

 

So since pictures are the primary part of the dating ad, the most honest part actually, as anyone can write any old thing they please, and they are public on the internet, anyone can see them, I personally apply higher standards to dating profiles than other pictures.

 

Men outnumber women to such a degree on dating sites, that women with bodies good enough to show in a bikini are going to get lots of responses anyway, skin pics or no, so there are some bad connotations associated, at least in my mind, with women who show lots of skin in their profiles. When I see lots of skin in a profile, I assign a greater chance that particular woman may have body obsession issues or some other emotional issues. It's a matter of good versus poor judgment as much as anything.

 

 

I have a pic of my dog up . . . I wonder how you would interpret that?

[sanskrit]

I have a pic of my dog up . . . I wonder how you would interpret that?

 

Not that it's topical to the thread, but wouldn't have any particular interpretation. Some folks put up too many pet pics.

[brainygirl]

Not that it's topical to the thread, but wouldn't have any particular interpretation. Some folks put up too many pet pics.

 

my point being I hate the way I photograph and put the pup up becuase he's cute.

 

A dating profile is supposed to be a snap shot of who you are, so to pick apart what someone puts up and say she is asking for a certain kind of treatment really isn't very nice. If you like what she says and find her attractive, contact her, if not, keep looking.

[sanskrit]

A dating profile is supposed to be a snap shot of who you are,

 

IMO, thinking of a dating profile as anything other than a personals ad is a mistake. Discovering who someone really is takes time and in person experience. Of course it's possible that a woman with several skin shots up is not purposefully selling herself based on her body. It's possible the sun will supernova next week too.

 

so to pick apart what someone puts up and say she is asking for a certain kind of treatment really isn't very nice. If you like what she says and find her attractive, contact her, if not, keep looking.

 

"Nice" doesn't come into the equation, as I'm not writing them to tell them I think their pictures are inappropriate, just moving on to the next profile. If a woman has -one- tasteful bathing suit shot at the beach with some context other than "check out my hot bod" that's fine. If she is obviously posing and showing off her body in public on the internet, no thanks. I don't date "hot or not" type women, as in my experience, the "hot or not" types tend to come with a whole boatload of red flags and other issues.

[irc333]

Its a dating profile, its meant to draw attention to yourself. . . . .

 

 

I specificially mentioned UNWANTED attention.

[carhill]

This is a phrase I saw mentioned by a woman in a profile..."If you're here to just get laid, please move on"

 

I would have moved on, regardless of the pictures, simply because the proclamation rubs me the wrong way. I hope the combination in this case attracts compatible men to her.

 

TBH, having a lot of past experience with ads in other countries, such pictures (the text would never appear, as it is to aggressive) told me 'gold digger' or 'pro dater'. Like sanskrit, *one* bathing suit shot, in context of an actual activity, is appropriate for myself. Otherwise, balance of image versus content, with the emphasis on content. YMMV

[brainygirl]

Fine, I bow the experts. I don't date women so I wouldn't know the correlation between pictures and dating persona.

[irc333]

If a woman has -one- tasteful bathing suit shot at the beach with some context other than "check out my hot bod" that's fine. If she is obviously posing and showing off her body in public on the internet, no thanks. I don't date "hot or not" type women, as in my experience, the "hot or not" types tend to come with a whole boatload of red flags and other issues.

 

 

There's this one woman where her MAIN profile pic was...just her boobs...that's it not her face, her head was cut off....she had other photos of herself, and it was obvious she was wanting attention focused rigth there.

 

I sometimes like to experiement and send them a tasteful email, the typical email I'd always send a woman, then perhaps, make a remark about how nice her cleavage her breasts are and that I'm a breast man myself, and I able to appreciate it.

 

This could probably turn said woman off, even if it's a tasteful comment about her breasts.

 

But it beat saying, "Hey, nice rack!"

 

Which woudl be worse to say, "Hey nice juggs" or "I like your breasts, they look very nice"

 

Or would even both be a turn off?

 

Someone once told me, if you email such a woman, don't even TALK about her breasts.

 

I actually had a woman respond to my email (one where I didn't make a remark about her breasts) and she said that she commended being the ONLY guy having not saying anything about them one bit......as if it was a test, instead actually showing off. Wierd.

 

Some women would go so far in their profile, by saying, "Yes, I know I have big boobs, I had them put in, so you don't need to tell mea bout 'em!"

 

one of those "say one thing, and do something else" or vice-versa.

 

It's like a "big test" for men , you fail it if you choose NOT to be a gentleman, but yet, she's not even being a lady.

 

Mind games, of course that's not uncommon.

[BWLoca]

It really doesn't matter. I have all conservative photos and I still get one night stand, fwb and threesome offers...

[carhill]

Of course the lowest common denominator folks will show up; it's normal. That accepted, you may also appeal to compatible men who find your conservative appearance and demeanor attractive, presuming your profile pictures and text represent a snapshot of your true self.

[porter218]

Like sanskrit, *one* bathing suit shot, in context of an actual activity, is appropriate for myself. Otherwise, balance of image versus content, with the emphasis on content. YMMV

 

Well I guess Im OK then. I think I may have two bathing suit shots and then I had to dig through the archives back when I used to wear clothing for a couple other clothed pics. At least mine are in context, they really are at the beach. My kids and I are aquatic creatures and I think its best I convey who and what I really am. I don't want some anti beach dude trying to rob me of my love for the ocean:laugh:

[carhill]

Exactly... mom at the beach with her kids building a sand castle or on a beach towel playing? Attractive and appropriate. One picture says a lot. Obviously, if one is a practicing nudist and wishes to attract a fellow nudist mate, a different perspective is appropriate, as are different pictures. To me, the personal ad is presenting ourselves in the best possible light to potentially compatible partners. Most ads, especially by women, will attract a range of responses, but hopefully compatible ones will be amongst them. If not achieved, IMO, it would pay to examine the content of the ad and reconcile it with one's own vision of what that compatibility is.

 

It is entirely possible that the woman in the ad in the OP was merely seeking attention and her pictures got her the attention she was seeking. It's kind of like a woman walking into a room and proclaiming she wants sex. Someone is surely going to accommodate her. Hence, the method was successful

[Mad Max]

The woman the OP is referring to wants attention from attractive men. Unattractive men are labeled "creepy". Sorry, but if you're flaunting half your tits, you're fair game.

[anne1707]

So taking this a step further.

 

If a woman is wearing a short skirt and revealing top and then gets raped, was she "asking for it"?

[anne1707]

If you leave your car unlocked and leave the key inside are you asking for it to be stolen?

 

If you wanna play this game, lets play it.

 

So you think you would be entitled to rape a woman if she was dressed provocatively?

[Angel1111]

Women who dress this way and then get annoyed that men think they're easy are irrational and shallow. I mean, there have been times when I put a blouse on and it's more low-cut than I thought it would be, but this does not translate into showing half my breasts. That's very thought-out and serves no other purpose than to look cheap. And then they act surprised that men treat them that way. Like I said - irrational and shallow. Obviously, this doesn't give a man the right to rape or mistreat a woman, but her manner of dress does say a lot about her.

[carhill]

I don't think it would be such an issue if men were passive. However, as the genetic and socialized pursuer, competitor and aggressor, men will nearly always have a proactive response to stimulus, whether that be keys in the car or a provocatively dressed woman. Each man's proactive response is different, depending on his psychology. Myself, if I saw the keys in a car, I'd attempt to find the owner or call the police. Another man might assert the right to possess the car. The same with the lady, although I don't think I'd involve the police

 

Men and women are wired up differently and socialized differently. We're necessarily going to have different perspectives and responses to such dynamics. Even within our own gender, nature and nurture play important roles. Part of life.