Gloria25 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Which is worst? Emotional or Physical cheating? I mean, wouldn't it sting that your SO is bonding "emotionally" with another person even though sex may/may not have taken place? Cuz, think about it, relationships are built on more than just bumping uglies and if your SO is actually "connecting" with someone else, isn't that a bigger threat to your RL? I don't know, maybe its cuz for women, we more than likely assume that when a man has sex, he "connected" beforehand with the woman? Cuz, we women usually have sex once we feel a "connection"? Hence, why men are quick to say "it was only sex", cuz while we think the sex meant something to him, it didn't...it literally was just "sex". Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I would be worried about emotional cheating as it leads to physical cheating most of the time. Even if its just emotional and nothing happens in bed it might happens again with someone else later. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I think that women get more upset about emotional cheating, and men get more upset about physical cheating. That's just in general though. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I'll give a slight edge to emotional cheating. It's more easily denied and hidden, but just as destructive. "Your body is here with me, but your mind is on the other side of town ...." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) I've zero room for either choice.. so neither are even an option to be directly or indirectly involved in.... boundaries solidify that. Edited October 30, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I wouldn't tolerate either, but that's probably why I'm still single. I typically date men who don't have female friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 There is no such thing as emotional cheating. It is a ridiculous concept. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 If one believes sexual desire to be an emotion or emotional state, as outlined in this article in Psychology Today, I would opine a PA (physical affair), which contains both the sexual desire and emotions attached to that desire, and consummation through actual sexual contact, as more comprehensive and complete than an unconsummated affair which is strictly emotional with no physical/sexual contact. While each person has their own perception, save for completely disconnected EA's, like online flirting, sexting, camming, etc, nearly all interactions, even if not sexual, meaning genitals are involved, have content which is physical and, if performed in front of one's partner, could be deemed inappropriate by that partner, hence describing an affair/infidelity and, if the partner is deceived, cheating. Myself, I've met the gamut, ranging from the slightest firtation and impropriety being inappropriate to women who consider everything short of genital sex to be completely appropriate, as relative to being 'an affair'. Then there's timeline. Two people meet and have a moment in time, whether emotional or physical, versus two people who carry on such interactions over time and along a timeline, making repetitive choices regarding their interactions. People vary in their feelings about those interactions as well. Lastly, scope. Some people can accept a singular interaction but not multiple interactions with discrete parties and some find any interaction abhorrent and inappropriate. Big world, lots of people. Ultimately, the final arbiter is one's spouse or partner and how they process the milieu. What anyone else thinks doesn't really matter to that partnership or marriage. Such unions are voluntary and subject to end at any moment and, yup, they do. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) Betrayal is betrayal for me. If you never had sex but you're telling another woman you're in love with her, sharing intimacies with her, making futuristic talk with her, telling her things about us/me and our relationship that's not her business, investing emotional energies into her, spending money on her, spending time (which takes away from our relationship) and the list goes on off non-sexual/physical acts...it's the betrayal that it boils down to. While if my SO had sex with someone else once I would be hurt and livid, I'd be more able to forgive that than say an ongoing relationship essentially. As sex isn't what makes a relationship. It's your emotional investment, feelings, time spent, etc. Doing all of the above with someone else would probably be worse for me than just sex. I also find it completely mind boggling when people think there is no such thing as emotional cheating. Ohh okay.... So if your spouse/SO texts, calls, daily talks to another person in a romantic way, including sexting, lovey-dovey messages, sharing secrets, goes out with another woman/man, is in love with them, and does everything they normally do for you with them but they simply have not rubbed genitals it's all good? This to me shows a very myopic idea of a relationship...as relationships are not simply the sum total of how many times you've rubbed genitals. Edited October 30, 2015 by MissBee 7 Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I think emotional cheating is difficult to pin down, and people's opinions on where the lines are drawn would vary wildly, but it's probably more of a "you know it when you see it" type of thing. My personal experience with a woman I met online last year included... 1) talks about the intimate details of our lives, including our sex lives 2) talks about if one of us had a time machine/magic wand/etc, how we'd make things different than they are 3) sexy emails and sexy chats on the phone/video chat 4) special nicknames for each other 5) countless hours just talking about "normal things" including our careers, backgrounds, beliefs and worldviews (this was the majority of it) 6) trading countless pics 7) making up little sex games we could play We never met in person. I never spent any money on her. But I did devote a lot of my time/emotional energy/passion/intellectual thoughts into this woman, and I think my wife would definitely view this as "emotional cheating." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Yeah it's hard to set a definition for emotional cheating... And regarding which type of cheating is "worse" really depends on the individuals / relationship. Me personally, sex is not some precious act reserved for those you have an emotional connection with. So I have less of a problem with "just sex" vs. an emotional attachment - professions of feelings of love etc. When my guy cheated, I could understand letting your guard down and having something physical happen. It was the "I miss you" messages to her, the lies about our relationship etc that really cut deep. For me, getting your dick sucked is one thing.... Telling her you want to "be with her" is another. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I have never really believed that emotional cheating is really a thing. I know how people on message boards think that EAs are the same. I get how it can lead to physical cheating -- spending too much time & energy on someone who is not your SO. But for me I could get past that in a heartbeat & never look back. Physical cheating . . . when I was dating I always said I could possibly handle a one time slip up but not a full blown on going affair. As a married person, hell no. You put your parts somewhere they don't belong, we're done. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 To my POV, emotional infidelity would be a married woman telling me she loves me and various and sundry other terms of endearment, along with sharing intimacies that would otherwise be shared with her spouse. I've run out of fingers, and I'm lucky to have them all after 4 decades in the trades, counting the number of times that has happened in life. Sure, perspective varies. Now, I suggest such sharing to occur in front of the spouse. Poof! Heh. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 To my POV, emotional infidelity would be a married woman telling me she loves me and various and sundry other terms of endearment, along with sharing intimacies that would otherwise be shared with her spouse. I've run out of fingers, and I'm lucky to have them all after 4 decades in the trades, counting the number of times that has happened in life. Sure, perspective varies. Now, I suggest such sharing to occur in front of the spouse. Poof! Heh. Agreed. I also think it could include neglecting or mistreating a spouse because you're emotionally enamored with another person. If a husband suffers because the wife thinks she's in love with that guy over there ... then that's emotional infidelity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I have never really believed that emotional cheating is really a thing. I know how people on message boards think that EAs are the same. I get how it can lead to physical cheating -- spending too much time & energy on someone who is not your SO. But for me I could get past that in a heartbeat & never look back. Physical cheating . . . when I was dating I always said I could possibly handle a one time slip up but not a full blown on going affair. As a married person, hell no. You put your parts somewhere they don't belong, we're done. if i am understanding this, desiring a lamborghini and driving one are separate. I tend to think thats a reasonable response. EA's are nothing more then a fancy that hasnt gotten in the car. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Cheating is cheating to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 For me, getting your dick sucked is one thing.... Telling her you want to "be with her" is another. So ironic - and one of the hardest (uh, pardon the pun) lessons I've ever had to learn - is that in the guy's mind it's the same thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 And are you a guy or a girl? Apparently most guys are more hurt by physical cheating and girls more emotional cheating. I would be more bothered by sexual cheating. Not sure why though. Link to post Share on other sites
Fresnite Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Both are bad and I wouldn't want either. For me both are equally bad and is a deal breaker. Id say the sex is worse cheating only because it's exchanging fluids and possible stds and it takes a different type of mind state to get to that point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Emotional definitely more than physical. It is just the ultimate rejection for me. Link to post Share on other sites
jjgitties Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 (edited) Can someone explain to me what is emotional cheating? I don't know what it is. I have a very close female friend. She used to be the girlfriend of a very good friend of mine. They broke up, and for whatever un-explicable reason, me and her would up getting closer as friends after they broke up and have become closer over the years. We don't have sex and have never had sex. The feeling is sort of like sibling close. Its hard hard to explain. She even went to my wedding. We go out for dinner and or coffee about once a month or every other month to catch up on stuff. We talk about everything. Family. Relationships. Work. Travel. I helped her moved a few times. I don't really tell my wife how close we are as friends. I think she is very attractive and sure, maybe once or twice (I am a guy after all) over the last 20 years I might have fantasized about her. But the fact remains, we do not and have never slept together. I would be too weirdeded out about losing a close friend and also it might feel like sleeping with a sibling. I don't know. We are just very close friends. Sometimes I day dream and wonder about, maybe if I ever get divorced, or if my wife passes away, I could see myself being married to her. But as I said, its a weird far fetch day dream. So is what I describe emotional cheating? Edited June 3, 2017 by jjgitties Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 ^ IMO, it is, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Interesting conundrum for a bi-sexual, especially a bi-sexual woman. Link to post Share on other sites
jjgitties Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 ^ IMO, it is, yes. Huh.. I still dont get it. We have never professed our undying love for each other and we have no plans to. There is no exclusivity such as "you can't be as close a friend with anyone else but me". There is no romantic or sexual touching. We don't pour our hearts out to each other about how we feel about each other. As I said, its very sibling like. Hell, I even know her parents and her parents know how close friends we are. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Huh.. I still dont get it. We have never professed our undying love for each other and we have no plans to. There is no exclusivity such as "you can't be as close a friend with anyone else but me". There is no romantic or sexual touching. We don't pour our hearts out to each other about how we feel about each other. As I said, its very sibling like. Hell, I even know her parents and her parents know how close friends we are. IMO, male-female friendship does not exist. There is always an emotional or physical element to it, even if subconscious, that will ultimately develop into something else if not stopped. Every such situation that I have witnessed (friends' experiences, etc.) has ended up "badly". Link to post Share on other sites
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