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Men give up on their appearance sooner than women

FitChick

By FitChick,
in General Relationship Discussion

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RedRobin

RedRobin

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They do but men aren't valued primarily for their looks the way women are so nobody makes a stink about it.

 

Well, that is changing as women become more financially well off. They aren't going to settle for men who have let themselves go.

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HoneyBadgerDontCare

HoneyBadgerDontCare

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Well, that is changing as women become more financially well off. They aren't going to settle for men who have let themselves go.

 

For the most part, it is not changing. Personalities are still valued more than looks to women. Women tend to look at the whole picture (in general), whereas men focus primarily on looks.

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RedRobin

RedRobin

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For the most part, it is not changing. Personalities are still valued more than looks to women. Women tend to look at the whole picture (in general), whereas men focus primarily on looks.

 

You just hold onto that fantasy, my friend.

 

I know at least one woman IRL who is having affair with a younger man, partly because her H let himself go (or so she says). She's got another one waiting in the wings should this one fly the coop.

 

She's a very attractive college professor at a prestigious university. She'd probably divorce her H if it weren't for the fact that it helps her career and networking to stay married.

 

I don't approve of what she's doing... but can't help but notice the turnaround. She's not the only one I've encountered over the years either.

 

Change the incentives and rewards and people pretty much act the same, IME.

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xxoo

xxoo

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I'm laughing that they used (delicious) Jason Stratham to illustrate that point :laugh:

 

This is why I married a person who, like me, enjoys being active and feeling healthy and strong. It's not about "looks". It's about life! And you don't give up wanting to live well just because you are married.

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Weezy1973

Weezy1973

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There's a lot more pressure on women to look good for a lot longer and usually this means looking younger than they actually are. Women also tend to value their own appearance more than men do at all ages. Anorexia is almost exclusively the domain of young women because they are so concerned with their appearance. Makeup, push up bras, plastic surgery, dyeing hair to hide gray, botox - still by far women are the main consumers of appearance "enhancers".

 

And it seems to me the OP is fully supportive of reinforcing these superficial values. Not the direction I personally want society to go in. If we valued everyone, both men and women, for things other than their outer shell, we would be a lot better off.

 

Not to worry though, I think the OP is winning the battle as both men and women seem to be focusing more and more on superficial qualities...

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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I respectfully disagree...Its been long known that men age better than women do..That doesnt mean I dont like women my age, I do immensely..But quite frankly, myself and a few of the other workout buddies I know all have bodies most 25 year old guys would be thrilled to have. One of my best friends is 62..big, pretty ripped, etc. And its not just us. Go to any gym...Youll see plenty of forty something and up guys in phenomenal shape. And i dont even try that hard. But I better try harder to whip Wonder Woman's ass..:laugh::p(inside joke with another poster)

 

Are there women in their 40's and 50's(and 60's)like this? Sure, but they arent as common as men. Childbirth and menopause will take its toll as well. And likewise, there are plenty of guys that are fat and out of shape too..

 

 

And please. lets leave out the Hollywood elite. between photoshop, makeup and plastic surgery that cost as much as the GDP of Thailand, they better look good!

 

TFY

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Radu

Radu

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I just love an impartial female 'author' who just happens to write a column aimed at women :

Still scrubbing up well - but for how long? Jason Statham, 46, is the age at which men are said to give up on their appearance

Christie Brinkley is 59-years-old, the age at which women still maintain their appearance

RR, i honestly think you're wrong.

Do you actually believe that what we have changed in the world in the last 3 decades is enough to go against ingrained biological imperatives ?

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Weezy1973

Weezy1973

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Shes not reinforcing superficiality...men on this site complain a lot women let themselves go and act like its the worse thing that can ever happen on this planet.

 

Men are the ones that need to work on looking beyond the outer shell...not women...men are the ones that focus most of their energy on visual attraction

 

You're not going to get an argument from me. We all need to work on being less superficial whether it be looks or money or status.

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Radu

Radu

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There's a lot more pressure on women to look good for a lot longer and usually this means looking younger than they actually are. Women also tend to value their own appearance more than men do at all ages. Anorexia is almost exclusively the domain of young women because they are so concerned with their appearance. Makeup, push up bras, plastic surgery, dyeing hair to hide gray, botox - still by far women are the main consumers of appearance "enhancers".

 

Anorexia is making wonderfull strides towards gender equality with the newer and 'hotter' metrosexual generations [the kind that makes a grown man want to punch them in the face].

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HoneyBadgerDontCare

HoneyBadgerDontCare

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You just hold onto that fantasy, my friend.

 

What fantasy? I'm good-looking.

 

I know at least one woman IRL who is having affair with a younger man, partly because her H let himself go (or so she says). She's got another one waiting in the wings should this one fly the coop.

 

She's a very attractive college professor at a prestigious university. She'd probably divorce her H if it weren't for the fact that it helps her career and networking to stay married.

 

I don't approve of what she's doing... but can't help but notice the turnaround. She's not the only one I've encountered over the years either.

 

Okay. You surround yourself with bad people (cheaters). Want a cookie?

 

Change the incentives and rewards and people pretty much act the same, IME.

 

Sorry, men and women are fundamentally different. As I said, you surround yourself with bad people so this is much of what you see (and explains your lack of success relationship-wise).

 

Overall, men are more looks-oriented than women are.

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Pompeii

Pompeii

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Well, that is changing as women become more financially well off. They aren't going to settle for men who have let themselves go.

 

This is a very hard thing to gauge but I'd say in general the pressure for men to upkeep their bodies has risen especially with the rise of "metros" and the aesthetics movement.

 

Still, I think in general most women would prefer a guy who had the masculine traits (and looks) of Clint Eastwood circa The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

 

None of this changes the fact that women are prized on their appearance more than men have, are, or ever will be.

 

I just know by the time I'm 40, I'll still be working out. I don't really care if I have a chick or not.

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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Well, that is changing as women become more financially well off. They aren't going to settle for men who have let themselves go.

 

 

No Problem!!!

 

You go out and kill yourself in the workplace..Ill stay at home spend hours in the gym every day, and keep myself all nice and beefy and ripped for you..Ill even clean the house, cut the grass, and feed the cat, too! Give you a nice bacck rub and get your night wear ready for when you get home.

 

I cant cook though, so you are on your own there!

 

:p:laugh:

 

TFY

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Pompeii

Pompeii

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And it seems to me the OP is fully supportive of reinforcing these superficial values. Not the direction I personally want society to go in. If we valued everyone, both men and women, for things other than their outer shell, we would be a lot better off.

 

That will never happen. We live in a world where people literally make thousands off of their faces and bodies by posting pictures on Instagram or Facebook without contributing any sort of meaningful services to society. There is very little benefit (monetarily) to valuing someone's true inner core. We live in a world where Jersey Shore and Honey Boo Boo are two of the most popular shows on television in which people are prized and denigrated for their physical appearance, respectively.

 

All I have to say is that we're lucky we don't live in ancient times because a lot of people simply do not have the survivalist mentality.

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gaius

gaius

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Christie Brinkley will never let her looks go. She will clutch onto them until she dies like Raquel Welch does. No idea how she manages to look so fine at 73.

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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Christie Brinkley will never let her looks go. She will clutch onto them until she dies like Raquel Welch does. No idea how she manages to look so fine at 73.

 

She is like a veal....thats why...Wonder how great she would look if she had to wait tables at the local diner to scrape out a living..

 

TFY

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RedRobin

RedRobin

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What fantasy? I'm good-looking.

 

 

 

Okay. You surround yourself with bad people (cheaters). Want a cookie?

 

 

 

Sorry, men and women are fundamentally different.

 

My social circle is quite broad. Necessarily, I will encounter a few who are or have cheated... considering more than half of all men have, I'd say it is pretty tough to avoid.

 

It should be no surprise that when the incentives and availability for women to cheat matches men's, that they will exhibit the same behavior.

 

There is no biological imperative... it is all about what gets rewarded and how.

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hotpotato

hotpotato

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I respectfully disagree...Its been long known that men age better than women do..That doesnt mean I dont like women my age, I do immensely..But quite frankly, myself and a few of the other workout buddies I know all have bodies most 25 year old guys would be thrilled to have. One of my best friends is 62..big, pretty ripped, etc. And its not just us. Go to any gym...Youll see plenty of forty something and up guys in phenomenal shape. And i dont even try that hard. But I better try harder to whip Wonder Woman's ass..:laugh::p(inside joke with another poster)

 

Are there women in their 40's and 50's(and 60's)like this? Sure, but they arent as common as men. Childbirth and menopause will take its toll as well. And likewise, there are plenty of guys that are fat and out of shape too..

 

 

And please. lets leave out the Hollywood elite. between photoshop, makeup and plastic surgery that cost as much as the GDP of Thailand, they better look good!

 

TFY

 

Hmm...It depends!

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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Hmm...It depends!

 

Im a little older, but thankfully im not crapping myself yet!:laugh:

 

Ill say this about women that "look good".....

 

Y'all have some magical undergarments going on under those clothes.. I have been around women that look smashing in clothes, yet see 'em naked or in a two piece...yikes..!!:laugh:

 

 

Eh...I love y'all just the same.:love:

 

TFY

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Pompeii

Pompeii

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I agree with this expect with "Women also tend to value their own apperance more than men do of all ages." No. Men value women's appearance over anything else and women are just trying to remaind beautiful and feminine in the eyes of men who largely consider us only worth while as long as we are young and hot. The heart game is women want to be women. In our society, being a "woman" is defined through beauty. Not neccesarily what a good heart you have. Alot of men, not all men, largely do not value women for what is really important. They mearly largly care about the superficial stuff over anything else. then they blame women who try to keep up with the jones of what men are largely driving. Unfortunetly, men don't realize they have the potentail to be so much more then they allow themselves or women to be.

 

Then why do I hear so many women say "I only go to the gym for myself". "I only wear makeup for myself". "I only do my hair for myself". If the pressure was on women from men?

 

Either your entire paragraph is bull**** or these girls are lying.

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