dmmm Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Hi I found this old post from 2006, as I can't post on it I thought I would copy and paste some of the main points to see what you guys think (hope this is OK). Basically I exhibit most, if not all of the "NICE GUY" traits. I know most of them are not good traits to have, but seeing this list and being able to "tick off" so many really has me worried and wanting to change. Originally posted Feb 2006 by DWJK http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/81406-definitive-nice-guy-bad-boy-thread -- ) THE NICE GUY: Any man who exibits any combination of the following behaviors, a.) Low self-esteem; doesn't value himself highly. Might be out of past failures or other deep-rooted emotional issues b.) Constantly seeks approval/validation/attention from others, usually out of a low amount of self-worth (See a.) c.) Insecure; doesn't feel that a high quality person should like him (See a. so is constantly fearful that he will lose them d.) Controlling/posessive/domineering/clingy/suffocating behavior; overcalling, etc.. (See c.) e.) Idealizes potential mates (overlooks flaws AKA "Puts them on a pedastal") as well as relationships (invests large amounts of emotion/time/energy/money into relationships early on) f.) Doesn't take responsibility for his actions g.) Claims he's victimized; attributes his own flaws and shortcomings to external circumstances and/or other people (See f.) h.) Self-concious/nervous around attrative women; Cares what others think, doesn't want anyone to dissaprove of him (See b.) i.) Strong amounts of jealously (See d.); makes people feel guilty when they enjoy time WITHOUT him k.) Kisses-up/trys to be totally agreeable/submissive to try and "score points" with a woman l.) Doesn't lead; he's submissive, always wants to make sure EVERYTHING he's doing is okay with her; over-apologetic m.) Doesn't draw boundaries; gives women whatever they want in return for love/sex/approval; accepts second-class behavior for the possible reward of the aforementioned. Doesn't say "No" very often; doesnt want to cause any "waves" (See h.) n.) Poor/weak body language; little or no eye contact, leans foward out of nervousness, fast/jerky movements, nervous ticks/figety habits, hands in pockets, bad posture/doesn't stand up straight o.) Is easily emotionally destabilized; gets worked up over meaningless things p.) Common use of self-deprecating humor to get approval/pity/empathy (See b.) q.) Feels guilt for his natural sexual desires, maybe even LOOKING an a woman r.) Whines/complains; usually to get pity/empathy s.) Favors short-sighted/instant gratification thinking The "nice-guy" is the personification of attributes in a man that women ultimately DO NOT feel attraction for. Any man who wants to have genuine sucess with women should AVOID these at all costs Women all around the globe, despite different backgrounds and upbringing, generally respond the same way to this type of man. Nice-guys almost always act victimized and attribute their lack of sucess to outside factors they claim are out of their control. They think that it's not their fault (I.E "SHE'S IMMATURE FOR LIKING BAD BOYS" "SHE DOESNT RECOGNIZE GOOD GUYS WHEN SHE SEES THEM" "SHE HAS ISSUES" Sound familiar?). Many nice-guys harbor a [secret] belief that they're better than other men ("I bought her 20 roses on the 2nd date" "I waited in the rain for her for 3 hours" "I lent her money when she went over her credit card limit). However, the reality is that if you're doing something [NICE] to get something in return, you are being MANIPULATIVE. Nice guys will go through their entire lives living in a continual state of self-deception; convinced that they are "Good guys" and that they are better than others. The fact of the matter is that nice guys do not have traits that make them appealing/attractive to the opposite sex. The lack everything in a man that practically every woman wants. And that man is... 2.) THE REAL MAN: Any man who exibits any combination of the following behaviors. a.) Has a HIGH amount of self-esteem; views himself as high-status b.) Doesnt need any outside approval or attention from ANYONE to be happy c.) Unself-concious; doesnt care what others thinks of him d.) Is NEVER insecure or nervous (espcially around desireable women), and he sub-communicates this in every little way e.) Self-confident; NEVER arrogant or insecure, POSSIBLY slightly-cocky. May tease women in a friendly way f.) Does not let outside events/other peoples opinions (See c.) emotionally destabilize him; is always in control of his emotions g.) Takes full responsibility for all of his actions h.) Never whines or complains to get approval or empathy; always accepts the world for exactly what it is i.) Judges people based on character and personality.. NOT outward appearance/material items j.) Can be brutally honest (while still being respectful) with everyone(including himself) and is not afraid to put someone in their place when they are out of line; isn't afraid to speak his mind k.) Isn't afraid to draw boundaries l.) Mature.. in every sense of the word m.) Has a PURPOSE in life that he never betrays and pro-actively/ambitiously works towards n.) Goal-oriented thinker; favors long-term gratification over short (See l.) o.) Isn't afraid to lead and take control of a situation; doesnt have hesitancy moving foward p.) Never feels ashamed for his sexual desires & needs; always sexually confident q.) Is always "himself", and is content with whatever that is (See a.) r.) Doesn't tolerate disrespect to himself, his property, or his time s.) Doesn't let women use their sexual power to get anything (whether it be money, or self-respect) from him t.) Loyal u.) Compassionate v.) Independant w.) Is perfectly happy and fufilled being single; sure, he'd like to find an attractive/beautiful/intelligent woman to spend time with but he doesnt NEED it x.) Comfortable in the presence of other high-status and/or sophisticated people y.) Doesnt experience jealousy; is perfectly fine when a woman exersizes her independence and encourages it; enjoys it when others shine z.) Strong/confident/powerful body language (Stands up straight, doesnt break eye contact, doesnt have any nervous ticks, doesnt have quick/jerky movements, leans back out of self-confidence and lack of nervousness) a1.) Doesn't feel the need to compensate for himself through gifts, expensive restaurants (Doing either of these things from a place of confidence and high-value is on the other hand OKAY) a2.) DOESNT invest all his emotion/time into a relationship too early on. He remains an ambiguous challenge he real man is the polar opposite of the "nice-guy". He is the manfestation of traits in a man that woman universally & naturally feel the emotion of attraction for. Throughout history, real men have been featured in movies and literature. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Hi I found this old post from 2006, as I can't post on it I thought I would copy and paste some of the main points to see what you guys think (hope this is OK). Basically I exhibit most, if not all of the "NICE GUY" traits. I know most of them are not good traits to have, but seeing this list and being able to "tick off" so many really has me worried and wanting to change. Originally posted Feb 2006 by DWJK http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/81406-definitive-nice-guy-bad-boy-thread -- ) THE NICE GUY: Any man who exibits any combination of the following behaviors, a.) Low self-esteem; doesn't value himself highly. Might be out of past failures or other deep-rooted emotional issues b.) Constantly seeks approval/validation/attention from others, usually out of a low amount of self-worth (See a.) c.) Insecure; doesn't feel that a high quality person should like him (See a. so is constantly fearful that he will lose them d.) Controlling/posessive/domineering/clingy/suffocating behavior; overcalling, etc.. (See c.) e.) Idealizes potential mates (overlooks flaws AKA "Puts them on a pedastal") as well as relationships (invests large amounts of emotion/time/energy/money into relationships early on) f.) Doesn't take responsibility for his actions g.) Claims he's victimized; attributes his own flaws and shortcomings to external circumstances and/or other people (See f.) h.) Self-concious/nervous around attrative women; Cares what others think, doesn't want anyone to dissaprove of him (See b.) i.) Strong amounts of jealously (See d.); makes people feel guilty when they enjoy time WITHOUT him k.) Kisses-up/trys to be totally agreeable/submissive to try and "score points" with a woman l.) Doesn't lead; he's submissive, always wants to make sure EVERYTHING he's doing is okay with her; over-apologetic m.) Doesn't draw boundaries; gives women whatever they want in return for love/sex/approval; accepts second-class behavior for the possible reward of the aforementioned. Doesn't say "No" very often; doesnt want to cause any "waves" (See h.) n.) Poor/weak body language; little or no eye contact, leans foward out of nervousness, fast/jerky movements, nervous ticks/figety habits, hands in pockets, bad posture/doesn't stand up straight o.) Is easily emotionally destabilized; gets worked up over meaningless things p.) Common use of self-deprecating humor to get approval/pity/empathy (See b.) q.) Feels guilt for his natural sexual desires, maybe even LOOKING an a woman r.) Whines/complains; usually to get pity/empathy s.) Favors short-sighted/instant gratification thinking None of that are traits of a nice guy. Those are traits of someone who needs serious help. The "nice-guy" is the personification of attributes in a man that women ultimately DO NOT feel attraction for. No, those traits above which are incorrectly attributed to a "nice guy" are what women ultimately do not feel attraction for. The lack everything in a man that practically every woman wants. And that man is... 2.) THE REAL MAN: Any man who exibits any combination of the following behaviors. a.) Has a HIGH amount of self-esteem; views himself as high-status b.) Doesnt need any outside approval or attention from ANYONE to be happy c.) Unself-concious; doesnt care what others thinks of him d.) Is NEVER insecure or nervous (espcially around desireable women), and he sub-communicates this in every little way e.) Self-confident; NEVER arrogant or insecure, POSSIBLY slightly-cocky. May tease women in a friendly way f.) Does not let outside events/other peoples opinions (See c.) emotionally destabilize him; is always in control of his emotions g.) Takes full responsibility for all of his actions h.) Never whines or complains to get approval or empathy; always accepts the world for exactly what it is i.) Judges people based on character and personality.. NOT outward appearance/material items <-- this one doesn't coincide with the perception of themselves as "high status" j.) Can be brutally honest (while still being respectful) with everyone(including himself) and is not afraid to put someone in their place when they are out of line; isn't afraid to speak his mind k.) Isn't afraid to draw boundaries l.) Mature.. in every sense of the word m.) Has a PURPOSE in life that he never betrays and pro-actively/ambitiously works towards n.) Goal-oriented thinker; favors long-term gratification over short (See l.) o.) Isn't afraid to lead and take control of a situation; doesnt have hesitancy moving foward p.) Never feels ashamed for his sexual desires & needs; always sexually confident q.) Is always "himself", and is content with whatever that is (See a.) r.) Doesn't tolerate disrespect to himself, his property, or his time s.) Doesn't let women use their sexual power to get anything (whether it be money, or self-respect) from him t.) Loyal u.) Compassionate v.) Independant w.) Is perfectly happy and fufilled being single; sure, he'd like to find an attractive/beautiful/intelligent woman to spend time with but he doesnt NEED it x.) Comfortable in the presence of other high-status and/or sophisticated people y.) Doesnt experience jealousy; is perfectly fine when a woman exersizes her independence and encourages it; enjoys it when others shine z.) Strong/confident/powerful body language (Stands up straight, doesnt break eye contact, doesnt have any nervous ticks, doesnt have quick/jerky movements, leans back out of self-confidence and lack of nervousness) a1.) Doesn't feel the need to compensate for himself through gifts, expensive restaurants (Doing either of these things from a place of confidence and high-value is on the other hand OKAY) a2.) DOESNT invest all his emotion/time into a relationship too early on. He remains an ambiguous challenge All of those traits with the exception of a few, are traits that "nice" or "good" guys can have. The exceptions of which I speak are those of considering themselves "high status", etc. That is conceit. The other is that you perceive a "real man" to be "slightly cocky". If a woman wants that in a man, then that woman can have that man. We just don't want to hear any complaining when he turns out to be a player. Even though you incorrectly attributed those qualities to "nice guys", and identified yourself as one, what was your purpose to write this? To insult yourself to the nth degree? Link to post Share on other sites
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