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Skipping a grade?


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Old 9th November 2017, 5:31 PM   #16
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You're letting her skip one grade to give her a challenge. You are not sticking her in college. She will still be a kid.

Later in life she won't resent you for challenging her. She will resent you for holding her back.
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Old 9th November 2017, 5:38 PM   #17
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I definitely wouldn't leave this decision in the hands of a 6 year old.

The other thing I would encourage you to do, is if you living a city and have different choices of schools, try contacting a different school and see how they might handle it... even if just for some perspective.

Like I said, it's great that you'd be putting her into a grade that is more her level... but if she is really so smart that she's already a full year ahead, it's not going to be long, until none of the kids in the next class are at her level either.... Skipping a grade isn't necessarily bad, but it also can't really be the full answer to the problem at hand here.
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Old 9th November 2017, 5:47 PM   #18
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Yeah, as long as the child is observed to operate and socialize with their new scholastic peer group acceptably, IMO making the academic change could be helpful.

Though I was never skipped, I was placed in extra-cirricular activities with older children and young adults for additional stimulation and challenge.

One pitfall, potentially, that I now observe in retrospect was I found a better social fit with the older people, even though prior had very fulfilling similar-age friendships, and that became, again in retrospect, a hindrance in integrating in the natural peer group as the transition from family to peers occurred during adolescence, mainly in that the tools for integrating with adults were different from those of integrating with age-similar peers so those social relationships generally suffered and that was my responsibility.

As example, when I was your daughter's age I had a paper route, was doing chemistry with high school students and rocketry with college students. I remember because the Air Guard MP's caught me shooting rockets at their F102 fighter jets

Given what you shared, and the age and point in the educational system, I'd be inclined to look into the curriculum for the skip and expose her to the transition at home off-book and see how it goes. As example, to simplify, if she'd normally be exposed to elementary math next year but multiplication/division and fractions, etc, in the skip, then expose her to it early to see where she stands. How she handles the concepts and perhaps not knowing how to approach the challenge. When it comes easy, it's often hard to gauge how things will go when it doesn't come so easy.

Good luck!
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Old 9th November 2017, 6:59 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
You're letting her skip one grade to give her a challenge. You are not sticking her in college. She will still be a kid.

Later in life she won't resent you for challenging her. She will resent you for holding her back.
I know, I told him that, he's just being paranoid about her growing up to quickly (it's a whole other issue).

I'm scared she'll resent me if I take her out of an environment where she's happy and has a ton of friends. :/ I just wish I could see how she manages in an older classroom.

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Originally Posted by GunslingerRoland View Post
I definitely wouldn't leave this decision in the hands of a 6 year old.

The other thing I would encourage you to do, is if you living a city and have different choices of schools, try contacting a different school and see how they might handle it... even if just for some perspective.

Like I said, it's great that you'd be putting her into a grade that is more her level... but if she is really so smart that she's already a full year ahead, it's not going to be long, until none of the kids in the next class are at her level either.... Skipping a grade isn't necessarily bad, but it also can't really be the full answer to the problem at hand here.
I mean, she's not necessarily a genius who's going to excede all the kids in every classroom, she could just be an above average kid who's going to find her level with kids who are slightly older.

I don't know, that's why I want to wait until the formal assessment.

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Originally Posted by carhill View Post
Yeah, as long as the child is observed to operate and socialize with their new scholastic peer group acceptably, IMO making the academic change could be helpful.

Though I was never skipped, I was placed in extra-cirricular activities with older children and young adults for additional stimulation and challenge.

One pitfall, potentially, that I now observe in retrospect was I found a better social fit with the older people, even though prior had very fulfilling similar-age friendships, and that became, again in retrospect, a hindrance in integrating in the natural peer group as the transition from family to peers occurred during adolescence, mainly in that the tools for integrating with adults were different from those of integrating with age-similar peers so those social relationships generally suffered and that was my responsibility.

As example, when I was your daughter's age I had a paper route, was doing chemistry with high school students and rocketry with college students. I remember because the Air Guard MP's caught me shooting rockets at their F102 fighter jets

Given what you shared, and the age and point in the educational system, I'd be inclined to look into the curriculum for the skip and expose her to the transition at home off-book and see how it goes. As example, to simplify, if she'd normally be exposed to elementary math next year but multiplication/division and fractions, etc, in the skip, then expose her to it early to see where she stands. How she handles the concepts and perhaps not knowing how to approach the challenge. When it comes easy, it's often hard to gauge how things will go when it doesn't come so easy.

Good luck!
To be honest, we do homework all the time and the 2nd grade stuff, addition and subtraction, is super easy for her, she literally does all the work in 5 minutes. I see that her teacher tries to give her more complex stuff but there's really only so much you can do with addition and subtraction, she gets the concept and there's no problem or challenge. I'm thinking of starting the multiplications table at home with her, but I want to check in with her teacher, I don't want to mess up her work plan.

She also LOVES schoolwork and studying in general. I want that to remain like that, I want her to stay excited about it and look forward to it, not get bored by it, but also not to burn out.

LOL I hate parenting decisions sometimes.
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Old 9th November 2017, 7:05 PM   #20
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Chiming in as a mother of two children who are not gifted and have not been offered this opportunity. IF either one of them were to be offered this, I would say no because they are not socially advanced enough. They're not socially behind....just very average in that way. (And academically lol)

However, I sortof think that most kids who ARE academically gifted are also more mature, so they can handle it.....?? It's my very elementary way of thinking of things, but maybe it makes a little sense??

I'm sure this is a super hard decision!
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Old 9th November 2017, 7:43 PM   #21
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This won't make her grow up too fast. She'll leave a year earlier for college is all. But think of it this way, most schools put kids in several grades together in the same building. In high school, I regularly saw everyone in grades 9-12, and all the ages that includes, and more frequently interacted with the ones I had extra curriculars with. So skipping her or not isn't going to isolate her into forever only being exposed to one small age range of other kids.

One thing you may want to also consider, which I touched upon earlier when I mentioned the dynamics of always being a leader, is if she's far ahead of everyone and gets used to it early on, it's actually harder to adapt later on in the real world when you learn you're not actually the best at everything. It might be a bigger surprise to go to college and have to go through what it feels like to getting taken down a peg or two and adjust to that life view (no longer big fish in the small pond). So that's an area where more academic competition sooner will do her good.

I think she'll be fine no matter what you choose and won't resent you either way. And I'm not saying let a 6 year old make a life decision all on her own, but her input may be surprising and worth taking into consideration.
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Old 10th November 2017, 9:32 AM   #22
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This won't make her grow up too fast. She'll leave a year earlier for college is all. But think of it this way, most schools put kids in several grades together in the same building. In high school, I regularly saw everyone in grades 9-12, and all the ages that includes, and more frequently interacted with the ones I had extra curriculars with. So skipping her or not isn't going to isolate her into forever only being exposed to one small age range of other kids.

One thing you may want to also consider, which I touched upon earlier when I mentioned the dynamics of always being a leader, is if she's far ahead of everyone and gets used to it early on, it's actually harder to adapt later on in the real world when you learn you're not actually the best at everything. It might be a bigger surprise to go to college and have to go through what it feels like to getting taken down a peg or two and adjust to that life view (no longer big fish in the small pond). So that's an area where more academic competition sooner will do her good.

I think she'll be fine no matter what you choose and won't resent you either way. And I'm not saying let a 6 year old make a life decision all on her own, but her input may be surprising and worth taking into consideration.
Agreed, I am very mindful about her being overly confident. She reminds me A LOT of me in that sense (people always comment on how similar we are). I was always the top of the class, leader-type and it did creat some problems with entitlement. It's not necessarily that I had problems with not adapting to the real world, but a sense of selfishness and arrogance.

That's why it really hit me when the teacher said that she would do better in an environment where there is more competition for her and I do agree that it would be better not just academically, but also socially.
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Old 10th November 2017, 9:38 AM   #23
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I'm scared she'll resent me if I take her out of an environment where she's happy and has a ton of friends. :/ I just wish I could see how she manages in an older classroom.
FWIW my grade school eased me into the higher grade. I was registered in the 2nd grade but took academic classes with the 3rd grade during the spring semester but took gym & art with the 2nd grade. The following fall I was enrolled in the 4th grade but my parents kept me in things like scouts with my friends from the younger grade. I got the best of both worlds.
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Old 13th November 2017, 10:15 AM   #24
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FWIW my grade school eased me into the higher grade. I was registered in the 2nd grade but took academic classes with the 3rd grade during the spring semester but took gym & art with the 2nd grade. The following fall I was enrolled in the 4th grade but my parents kept me in things like scouts with my friends from the younger grade. I got the best of both worlds.
Yeah, she actually gpes to a ton of extra-curriculars where she's with kids her own age so I guess she'll always have that interaction.

They've scheduled an evaluation, so hopefully things will be clearer after that and talking to a child psychologist.

Her dad still isn't really on board.
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Old 13th November 2017, 10:28 AM   #25
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Hopefully he'll listen to the psychologist.
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Old 4th February 2018, 1:04 PM   #26
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Update

Well, my daughter was tested last month and she scored in the 96 percentile.

The school psychologist also tested her on social skills and intelligence and she also ranked pretty high there. She believes that she will have no problems adapting and will benefit greatly - both academically and socially from being around children more on her level.

Everyone in school highly recommends that she accelarates as well as attends some of their gifted programs.

After everything I believe that it would truly be best for her. Her dad still disagrees, so now I'm on the fence - technically I have sole legal custody and don't need his permission for this. However, would it be right to make a decision that he strongly opposes?

I just don't know how I can convince him?
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Old 4th February 2018, 2:18 PM   #27
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Let her convince him, after the fact by her successes.

Give your child the freedom to blossom. All the professionals are saying yes. Your EX's concerned are outweighed by all the positives. Once he sees how well she's doing he'll come around. Don't rub his nose in it but do give her the chance to succeed.
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Old 6th February 2018, 1:02 AM   #28
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I could have skipped one year, but my mother thought it was better to be with children my age. She didn't want me to jump the gun.
I was generally at the top of the class for at least 8 years. That helped shape my confidence, my character and my personality. I'm not sure things would have evolved the same, had I skipped one year.

Same thing occured to my son. He could skip one year. His personality seemed to match mine in so many ways. He's very sensitive and showing several genius traits. In the end, we (husband and I) decided it was better for him to be with his peers. I don't regret my decision, as I see him growing up. He just hit puberty, and it's not an easy stage. It's better if you experience that surrounded by other kids your age. You never know how being left out because you're not the right age - as others pointed out - can play out for an individual.

As parents, we should care about our children's education as much as their social and emotional development.

On the other hand, my son has a girl who skipped one year in his class. Over time, it became apparent that it didn't play out to her own advantage. She found herself striving in some subjects, especially in 5th and 6th grade. I expect the gap to feel greater when she'll get into high school. She's a very shy girl. I guess she felt a bit isolated too, for a while, after moving from another school.
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Old 7th February 2018, 12:23 PM   #29
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I could have skipped one year, but my mother thought it was better to be with children my age. She didn't want me to jump the gun.
I was generally at the top of the class for at least 8 years. That helped shape my confidence, my character and my personality. I'm not sure things would have evolved the same, had I skipped one year.

Same thing occured to my son. He could skip one year. His personality seemed to match mine in so many ways. He's very sensitive and showing several genius traits. In the end, we (husband and I) decided it was better for him to be with his peers. I don't regret my decision, as I see him growing up. He just hit puberty, and it's not an easy stage. It's better if you experience that surrounded by other kids your age. You never know how being left out because you're not the right age - as others pointed out - can play out for an individual.

As parents, we should care about our children's education as much as their social and emotional development.

On the other hand, my son has a girl who skipped one year in his class. Over time, it became apparent that it didn't play out to her own advantage. She found herself striving in some subjects, especially in 5th and 6th grade. I expect the gap to feel greater when she'll get into high school. She's a very shy girl. I guess she felt a bit isolated too, for a while, after moving from another school.
You see, my daughter's not shy at all. The school psychologist also commented on her having a very healthy dose of confidence.

I'm worried that this confidence is going to turn into arrogance if she grows up being better than other kids in her class without having to do much work. I want her to have to work hard and to sometimes fail and see that it's all part of the normal human experience.

I think I'm going to do it. I'm going to try and talk to her dad some more about it, but if he still doesn't agree I'm going to make the decision on my own and hope for the best.
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Old 7th February 2018, 7:46 PM   #30
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I was given the opportunity to skip fifth grade, but I opted not to. For one thing, in my case, I was already nearly a year younger than everyone else in my grade because of where my birthday falls. For another, I really was naive and not very mature. I think my teacher recommended me for it solely because she liked me (and I her) and probably mistook my precociousness (I told her her hair was like "some old movie star," which was Veronica Lake). Also, though I was an algebra whiz that year in an experimental math class, doing long equations for the principal, etc. But my mom didn't know what to make of it and so I made up my mind for her. I think I was right in my case. I was an extreme tomboy and by middle school, a bit of a misfit, not developing as fast chest-wise, behind everyone in getting first bra, shaving legs. I guess all that would have been even worse if I'd skipped. But you never know. I mean, the road not taken, you always wonder. Maybe I wouldn't have gone through bullying in another class other than the one I was in. Who knows.

Also, it would have put me entering college at 16 instead of 17, and this was right after the Kent State debacle and I was a hippie from 16 on, so would I have been mature enough to handle the shark-infested waters if I had been a year younger? Plus everyone drank, even in high school. I wouldn't have even been able to get into clubs and stuff. It was 18 back then.

Lots to consider.
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