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My cousin can never stick to a plan to get together


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Old 23rd February 2019, 6:33 PM   #61
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I’m in a lose lose situation here. It’s all gloomy.

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Old 23rd February 2019, 6:54 PM   #62
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Good grief, you're acting like a spurned lover! It doesn't have to be gloomy. It's just someone who isn't going to be your bestie (or your lover). There is no reason for you to be acting all dramatic about this. You need to just learn to let people go if they are not interested, no matter who they are. And to pay attention to actions and not words.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 9:13 PM   #63
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But why is she so interested in chatting on messenger? Come on. Literally hundreds of messages and emojis. She has told me her whole life story. About how she was left behind as a kid. If she wanted nothing to do with me, she wouldn’t have spent hours writing to me. It would take you hours to read her long and lengthy messages. And she says that we met for a reason and God. She has said so many times she wants to get together.

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Old 23rd February 2019, 9:47 PM   #64
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You're just going in circles. Actions speak louder than words.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 11:23 PM   #65
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What if she truly got busy?

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Old 24th February 2019, 9:20 AM   #66
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So if next month she says she would like to plan to get down, what do I say? Just say yea right?
You say OK but since you flaked so many times already you have to come to me.

She LIKES talking to you on messenger. She does not want to come visit you even though she says she does. She's lying. Maybe she has some sort of overwhelming social anxiety & the idea of meeting you in real life terrifies her.

You have to accept that her behavior is never going to conform to what you want.
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Old 24th February 2019, 11:46 AM   #67
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Then why did she say she wants to come and was about to come until she found out she had something else?
Because she orginally wanted to come until something else came up that she'd rather do. It happens. The point is it is a family reunion and lots of relatives will be there. Forget about this cousin, you know she's a flake so enjoy your other relatives and stop taking this stuff personally. Stop talking to her as a matter of fact because you get too upset when she does what she always does and flake.
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Old 24th February 2019, 11:47 AM   #68
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<snip> She says that we met for a reason and God. She has said so many times she wants to get together.
Block her, she's a liar.

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Old 24th February 2019, 11:49 AM   #69
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But why is she so interested in chatting on messenger? <snip>
Because it's easier and more convenient to chat this way than get together.

Either enjoy things as they are and leave it as an online cousin friendship or tell her you'd rather speak on the phone and get together in person.

Don't take it so personally as it's not about you, seems she's busy and may not have a lot of time, especially if you two live far apart.

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Old 24th February 2019, 2:04 PM   #70
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Well she just went to my page and liked some of my old posts. And used smiley emojis and said she canít wait to get together.

I canít even take her seriously now. But at some point doesnít she need to stop the BS? Iím gonna ignore her for a while both on messenger and the posts.

Do you think maybe a part of her wants to come but maybe sheís apprehensive?
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Old 24th February 2019, 2:06 PM   #71
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Because she orginally wanted to come until something else came up that she'd rather do. It happens. <snip>
So a part of her does want to come, right?

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Old 24th February 2019, 2:53 PM   #72
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She LIKES talking to you on messenger. She does not want to come visit you even though she says she does. She's lying. Maybe she has some sort of overwhelming social anxiety & the idea of meeting you in real life terrifies her. <snip>

So you think maybe she’s apprehensive about the real life thing? I saw her once at the Christmas party a couple years back. She kept saying we will definitely get together.

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Old 25th February 2019, 6:44 PM   #73
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So a part of her does want to come, right?
Probably so. She's obviously very flighty and just goes with whatever she wants to do at the moment. I wouldn't get my hopes up that she will attend. If she does it will be a nice surprise. Try to look at it that way.
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Old 25th February 2019, 6:45 PM   #74
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. She kept saying we will definitely get together.
Can I ask why it is so important that you do?
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Old 25th February 2019, 9:38 PM   #75
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How far distance wise is your cousin from where you are?

I have some cousins I rarely see, they live far away and the few times a year I do see them it's great but most of the time communication is online or a phone call/skype.

I think you're putting way too much pressure on this friendship with your cousin, too much energy and emotion. You don't really "know" her and are reconnecting as adults. Slow down and get busy with other friends, don't let this be your only focus otherwise you're going to drive yourself crazy.

Your cousin has a busy life and I think if you lower your expectation level you'll feel happier and just accept things as they are now and hope that she will come to the reunion so you two can hang out then.
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