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My cousin can never stick to a plan to get together


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Old 22nd February 2019, 4:39 AM   #1
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My cousin can never stick to a plan to get together

It's been really frustrating. It's been more than a year now. I'm getting fed up. We actually don't know each other that well because she never got to meet a lot of her family due to reasons I won't get into. She thought it has been really great getting to know me. We talk on FB a lot. And we met one time at my other cousins house more than a year ago. We were supposed to get together after that.

And she has always said that she's busy but in a month or two we should get together. She doesn't really work. She has a kid that plays sports and that's about it as far as I know. Last month we were finally supposed to get together and she canceled at the last minute because she had to take her son to football practice. And then this month, she canceled again and said that she has birthdays and weddings and all kinds of things going on for the next 2 months.

And she had promised to come visit me and my parents. So this has been going on for a while. I don't feel that she's too busy. I feel something else is making her make excuses. We can do it ANY day she wants, but something gets in the way..

So I want to confront her about this. I don't wanna just say it's fine.. I want to be blunt with her. But I don't wanna do it in a way that scares her off. But I'm sick and tired of her canceling. I don't like people that cannot commit to what they said they were gonna do.

This has been making me very hurt and upset. She has to know this.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 5:25 AM   #2
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It sounds like she has other priorities in her life and getting together with extended family is just not one of them.

When she was suppose to meet with your parents what were you all going to be doing?
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Old 22nd February 2019, 7:46 AM   #3
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Maybe she's scared or reluctant. Either way, give up. Assume you will never meet. Enjoy the social media connection & leave it be until she plans something.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 10:08 AM   #4
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Maybe she's scared or reluctant. Either way, give up. Assume you will never meet. Enjoy the social media connection & leave it be until she plans something.

Why can’t I tell her my frustration and be blunt with her?
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Old 22nd February 2019, 10:10 AM   #5
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It sounds like she has other priorities in her life and getting together with extended family is just not one of them.

When she was suppose to meet with your parents what were you all going to be doing?

Well we have a reunion coming up and she herself said she was coming down to get on board with us and to meet all of us. She went to school with some of the cousins and said she was so looking forward to it.

But she’s been pulling this BS for a while.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 10:30 AM   #6
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Hey guys I just would appreciate some sincere and thorough responses. There’s a lot at stake here for me.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 10:47 AM   #7
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Why can’t I tell her my frustration and be blunt with her?
You can but be diplomatic or you will spoil any chance for meeting.

Say something like I realize you have a lot going on but I'm frustrated by the last minute cancellations. I sincerely want to meet you but I have doubts about your interest. Ball is in your court. If you want this to happen, you have to come to me.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 10:51 AM   #8
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It's been really frustrating. It's been more than a year now. I'm getting fed up. We actually don't know each other that well because she never got to meet a lot of her family due to reasons I won't get into. She thought it has been really great getting to know me. We talk on FB a lot. And we met one time at my other cousins house more than a year ago. We were supposed to get together after that<snip>
It's pretty obvious that she has no interest in getting together with you. Why don't you just let her be? You can't force people to be with you.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 24th February 2019 at 4:55 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
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Old 22nd February 2019, 11:00 AM   #9
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We have a reunion coming up.
So the reunion hasn’t happened yet? I’d wait until then before stressing about if she’ll show up or not.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 11:44 AM   #10
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There’s a lot at stake here for me.
In meeting with a cousin you don't really know and have only seen once or twice? Doesn't seem either of you have much invested...

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Old 22nd February 2019, 12:02 PM   #11
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In meeting with a cousin you don't really know and have only seen once or twice? Doesn't seem either of you have much invested...

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We have exchanged thousands of messages
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Old 22nd February 2019, 12:03 PM   #12
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So the reunion hasn’t happened yet? I’d wait until then before stressing about if she’ll show up or not.


But I’m talking about her coming over, not the big event. She has said many times she would love to. So it’s frustrating.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 12:05 PM   #13
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It's pretty obvious that she has no interest in getting together with you. Why don't you just let her be? You can't force people to be with you.


So negative. She told me and the family she was so looking forward to seeing us, but something came up.

Now she’s saying in April she should be available. But how do I know she’s not just saying that?
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Old 22nd February 2019, 12:19 PM   #14
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But how do I know she’s not just saying that?
You know darn well she IS just saying that.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 12:19 PM   #15
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We have exchanged thousands of messages
Whaaat?

What exactly is the nature of your relationship with this cousin?
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