tough words to hear

[hensley258]

Today my wife said it flat out. I don't love you anymore and I have feelings for another man. My god it felt like my liver was cut out with a butter knife. I am left alone in a strange land far from friends and family so I can sulk in desperation.

 

This is by far the lowest point in my life. Ten years down the toilet and my life with it. My attorney has damn near put me in financial ruin for little gain. I am at this point the lowest form of life on earth. I must sit back and watch my little girl be exposed to the very man that took my family and I can't do **** about it nor can my lawyer. I have lost everything including my will to live another day. How can I be so in love with a woman that has done such a wrong to my family unit?

 

to watch a person once so warm to you be so cold is more than I can take. No person can survive this and ever find happiness again. Theirs just no way. I can't even have or find a girlfriend because I'm too damaged so I am doomed to live alone with just regret in my head. I'm too old to start over so recovery is out of reach. She has ruined my life for good. As I sit home alone she is out laughing with her new man. Might as well put a knife in my heart.

[tobydog1]

I am sorry to hear of your pain.....

I have been there, still am.

Do you know what, I wish my stbx would tell me he is with this OW then I would have some sort of closure. I know it feels like the end but it isn't. You have a daughter and I have a son and we need to carry on for them.

I have felt close to ending it after 14 years with him and now I am old and will probably never find anyone again.

But then the next day I think yes I will, I have a lot to offer and so do you, it just does not feel like that at the moment.

 

But the old adage, Time heals is certainly true and you will be low and depressed then bit by bit you will feel better. Maybe the Doc can help, I have taken anti depressants and they have certainly helped prop me up.

 

Please keep posting, there are lots of great people here with better advice I can give, I can just offer you my support.

 

Dx

[Gardenia28]

Things may seem like they're the absolute worse, but as each day passes you will be able to find yourself being able to enjoy life again. I know what it feels like, believe me I do. There were days when I would just wallow in misery, crying and laying in bed all day. I don't really have many of those days anymore; I know that life has so much to offer. So please hang in there.... God never gives us anything that we can't handle! And perhaps this is meant to be... maybe something worse could've happened if you had stayed together. We don't always know the reason why, but just know that you will and can get through this. NO ONE is worth dying over- EVER.

[worlybear]

Hey. I can only add my support to the support others have posted. I'm not going to pretend that its easy-it isn't.

But.... now, 2 years on and the decree absolute in sight, I am beginning to take control of my life again.

Sure there are bad days but at least I get good days too.

Don't give up on your child.

You will always be a father.

My STBXH dropped our daughter (then 7) and has a stepdaughter (2 yrs older-our daughter's former best friend:sick:).

My daughter won't have anything to do with him- just recently he wrote to her and she read the card and tossed it away. He's told my older daughter that he's sent a card and is waiting for a reply...............

Initially I tried to keep communication open and encouraged her to write- but she's no longer interested.

On a brighter note, I have a friend who sees his daughter regularly (he was the dumpee) and he has a great relationship with her.

Don't give up.

Look after yourself and keep posting.:bunny:

[Windsurf66]

No, dun kill yourself, its not your fault that all these are happening....if you die, that whore and her OM will be laughing at your grave....you are not the one who deserve to die, its that whore and her OM that deserved it

[hopesndreams]

Today my wife said it flat out. I don't love you anymore and I have feelings for another man. My god it felt like my liver was cut out with a butter knife. I am left alone in a strange land far from friends and family so I can sulk in desperation.

 

This is by far the lowest point in my life. Ten years down the toilet and my life with it. My attorney has damn near put me in financial ruin for little gain. I am at this point the lowest form of life on earth. I must sit back and watch my little girl be exposed to the very man that took my family and I can't do **** about it nor can my lawyer. I have lost everything including my will to live another day. How can I be so in love with a woman that has done such a wrong to my family unit?

 

to watch a person once so warm to you be so cold is more than I can take. No person can survive this and ever find happiness again. Theirs just no way. I can't even have or find a girlfriend because I'm too damaged so I am doomed to live alone with just regret in my head. I'm too old to start over so recovery is out of reach. She has ruined my life for good. As I sit home alone she is out laughing with her new man. Might as well put a knife in my heart.

 

You will survive this! You must believe that with all your heart. Really dig deep to find the strength to go on. We all have it in us. It's called survival instinct. Find happiness from within, it's the only happiness that really matters. Do what you want to do and explore new interests. Now it's all about re-discovering yourself and you have the freedom to do that. The possibilities are endless. You will experience exhilarating highs but with those will come devastating lows but by moving forward, one day at a time, grieving and finding pleasure in the little things that make you happy you will be on the road to healing and recovery. Give yourself 2 years and you will look back, I promise, and find that she wasn't all that you made her out to be. You are only 41. Way too young to throw in the towel.

[marqueemoon4]

I know exactly how you feel.. I'm going through something similar but my wife isn't as messed up as yours. I'm the bad guy in the entire thing, and I did things that ensured we'd never be together again. My son hates it, I hate it, but she is doing just fine.

 

You have to pull through this.. I know its incredibly hard but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your life is a gift.. don't let someone else devalue your importance. You have to trust that things WILL get better.

Edited February 6, 2011 by marqueemoon4

[2.50 a gallon]

Hensley

 

I was totally in your shoes 30 years ago. Three days after I kicked her out a neighbor who wanted to try her booty also, invited her and her OM to his place to party. We shared a bedroom wall so I got to hear everything, she also used this opportunity to pick up some of her things and rub my face that she was now living with the OM.

 

Shortly after the party started, I pulled an Elvis and exited the building, and walked down to a local watering hole. I left about the time the bar closed, and when I got home, the party was still going on. The worst part was I could hear she was really drunk and when he played the stripper song, by the yells and cat calls I knew that she was stripping for them

 

So yeah I have been in that same hole of total darkness, no hope, my life was over, I knew that I would never laugh again.

 

And Like you I was new to the area, and all of my friends were ours and her friends. I had nobody to talk to.

 

But hey bud, life was just begining to get good. I put myself out there, made new and great friends. And before the summer was up I began dating. And my sex life took off. I had been a player before I married, and in the following years it got even better. There are lots of divorced women out there looking for a nice guy to have fun with. You gotta to be careful as they are also looking for a replacement.

 

Over the next decade I dated over a hundred women. I was in my 40's and some of them were in their early 20's.

 

I ended up in an off again / on again relationship with a fantastic lady who was over 15 years younger than me. She was a gym freek and in tight shape. She was also a millionares daughter, who had millions of her own.

 

I came so to marrying her it sacred me enough to move back home. There I met my current GF. We have been together for over 15 years. She is the nicest, sweetest most understanding, most giving person I have ever met.

 

I am retired, and she is getting close, and still is slim with an hour glass figure. Eye candy at age 60. Life is fantastic.

 

I have been a member of LS for over a year and a half, and have learned as a general rule of thumb, cheating spouses, affair down, while betrayed spouses almost all ways move up and end up with some one better.

 

In the time that I have been here there have been many old times who have came back to say, I am over it and guess what Divorce is the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

I know it all looks dark at the moment, but once you get off of the roller coaster, and move on in life it is going to be so much better than what you had.

 

Trust me on this one.

Edited February 6, 2011 by 2.50 a gallon

[tobydog1]

2.50, sorry to hi-jack but can you answer me a ?

Why do they affair down? Mine certainly has, to an old slag of a grandmother with kids HIS age. He is 38 and she is 56 and she has a BAD name with younger men, one after another. She looks riduculous with spikey hair and fat legs in shoooort skirts. She is as rough as a bear's arse. So why? Sorry if this is inappropriate, maybe we could PM instead?

Dx

[YellowShark]

Today my wife said it flat out. I don't love you anymore and I have feelings for another man. My god it felt like my liver was cut out with a butter knife. I am left alone in a strange land far from friends and family so I can sulk in desperation.

 

I caught mine with the mOM in-the-act at my own home so I think my EX used an old rusty spoon to cut my liver out.

 

This is by far the lowest point in my life. Ten years down the toilet and my life with it.

 

Yup. 7 years here. And ya, the first few months after were the lowest point of my life.

 

I am at this point the lowest form of life on earth.

 

Ah no. You are the same person you always were. Life has just thrown you a curveball. It's how you handle it that will define you.

 

I must sit back and watch my little girl be exposed to the very man that took my family and I can't do **** about it nor can my lawyer. I have lost everything including my will to live another day. How can I be so in love with a woman that has done such a wrong to my family unit?

 

He didn't take your family, your wife did. She checked out on you. Why? You don't really say. But for now - even though you are a mess inside - ALWAYS take the high road, be a man of honor and kindness. Show your EX what she'll be missing. Show your daughter the meaning of courage. Less gravy more steel.

 

You will definitely make it through this.

 

...to watch a person once so warm to you be so cold is more than I can take. No person can survive this and ever find happiness again. Theirs just no way.

 

Ahhh... lots of people have survived this and found happiness again. Divorce sucks man. It really does. Your whole world is rocked. The whole future you envisioned just went poof. It frikkin' hurts.

 

I can't even have or find a girlfriend because I'm too damaged so I am doomed to live alone with just regret in my head.

 

You may have been dumped by your wife but she's dumped you into a huge pool of eligible women! Don't kid yourself hensley258. Anyhow, don't be worrying about girlfriends now, that's for later, worry about giving this wife of yours a good dose of the 180.

 

The 180 - "the best parts.."

 

1. Don't pursue reason, chase, beg, plead or implore.

 

2. No frequent phone calls.

 

3. Don't point out "good points" in marriage.

 

7. Don't ask for reassurances.

 

10. Don't keep saying, "I Love You!" Because if you really think about it, he/she is, at this particular moment, not very loveable.

 

11. Do more than act as if you are moving on with your life; begin moving on with your life!

 

12. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and independent.

 

13. Don't sit around waiting on your spouse - get busy, do things, go out with friends, enjoy old hobbies, find new ones! But stay busy!

 

17. Don't be nasty, angry or even cold - Just pull yourself back. Don't always be so available...for anything! Your spouse will notice. More important, he/she will notice that you're missing.

 

18. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment. Make yourself be someone they would want to be around, not a moody, needy, pathetic individual but a self assured individual secure in the knowledge that they have value.

 

22. Do not argue when they tell you how they feel (it only makes their feelings stronger). In fact, refuse to argue at all!

 

28. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and are feeling totally desperate and needy.

 

30. Do not believe any of what you hear them say and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives and do so in the most strident tones imaginable. Try to remember that they are also hurting and afraid. Try to remember that they know what they are doing is wrong and so they will say anything they can to justify their behavior.

 

31. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel. It "ain't over till it's over!"

 

Good luck hensley258.

[Bluebelle38]

Yellow shark - wow, what a great post. It actually mede me want to look up your thread about your own break-up (not sure if that is stalkerish, but at least I am open about it).

 

OP - read up on Yellow shark's story. It's the most dignified split I've ever read on here. How to do it the right way while crumbling inside.

 

Your life is not over. You have to toughen up here for the sake of your daughter. She needs you.

 

Life goes on and you will look back on this time one day and breathe a sigh of relief that you made it through. This is the worst part... it wont always feel like this. Any one that has come out the other end of it is testament to that.

 

41 is not old at all.... I'm recently dumped and 38 and my age is not anything I'd worry about - ever.

 

A chapter has ended, a new one is about to start...

[worldgonewrong]

OP - read up on Yellow shark's story. It's the most dignified split I've ever read on here. How to do it the right way while crumbling inside.

 

Link, please?

 

I, for one, am looking for all the sage advice that I can get!

 

my thanks in advance.

[Eddie Edirol]

if she can start over, you can start over. You just need to learn what you did to lose her attraction to you.

[hopesndreams]

Link, please?

 

I, for one, am looking for all the sage advice that I can get!

 

my thanks in advance.

 

Just click on YellowShark's name, click view public profile and click view all threads.

Edited February 6, 2011 by hopesndreams

[willowthewisp]

Hensley,

 

I know how you feel. Apparently, (as i do not know for sure if it is true, long story), my ex is now living with and engaged to a women he has known less than a year after leaving me after nearly 20 years with no warning right after we booked our wedding.

 

It's been almost 2 years since he left me and made me homeless to boot.

 

Know what though? Your W has not learnt anything, not dealt with anything and eventually due to this her relationship with OM will crumble. It will crumble because she has not learnt to deal with relationship problems (real or percieved on her part, don't know the facts of your marriage), but rather has choosen to deal with them by turning outside of the marriage. That is a receipe for disaster. Secondly, what kind of man goes with a married women? I'll tell you, one that will have no problem cheating on your w if and when the situation arises.

 

Besides all that, you need to focus on you now and what is good for you and your child. I know it's hard to not focus on them when what she has done is hurting you beyond description, but what made me realise I must focus on me is that I have no choice in his actions. I can't alter his decision, but I'll tell you one thing for certain, two years on I can see clearly that he is just one man in a world full of men and he is NOT a man that I would want to be with. The very fact that he treated me so badly when I did not deserve it and did not even try to work on anything first, is enough, now, looking back, for me to know I am better off without him. That's not to say my life is great and I would really like to meet someone to share my life with, but I would rather be single than with him, knowing now what he really is and is capable of.

 

May I suggest IC? I did not truely begin to feel better until I was able to talk it all through with someone who was able to offer me an alternative perspective. I spent 18 months blaming myself for what that S**t did TO me.

[YellowShark]

OP - read up on Yellow shark's story. It's the most dignified split I've ever read on here. How to do it the right way while crumbling inside.

Link, please? I, for one, am looking for all the sage advice that I can get! my thanks in advance.

Just click on YellowShark's name, click view public profile and click view all threads.

 

Ahh thanks for the kind words but I am no different than anyone else. You don't have to look anything up. My story isn't important. I didn't do anything amazing. But what I *did* do is follow the advice of other veterans on LoveShack. The 180, No Contact. Always take the high road even if you're shredded beef inside. Etc.

 

The first two months were terrible, I felt like hensley258. But almost a year later I do feel way better and I am happy I am not dealing with my EX's baggage anymore. It's not what I had envisioned for my life, I expected her beside me forever... but what the hell. Can't make someone love you. So that door is closed behind me and surprisingly other doors have opened up ahead of me. So don't despair hensley258.

 

Secondly, what kind of man goes with a married women? I'll tell you, one that will have no problem cheating on your w if and when the situation arises.

 

The old cliche goes, "If they'll cheat with you... they'll cheat on you.'

 

I must focus on me is that I have no choice in his actions. I can't alter his decision, but I'll tell you one thing for certain, two years on I can see clearly that he is just one man in a world full of men.. now, looking back, for me to know I am better off without him.

 

Exactly.

[BlindRage]

Yellowshark,

 

Yet again I agree with you. Pretty much Hensley I know what you're going through since I'm going through it myself. I guess I don't have any advice but just showing you support that you aren't going through these feelings alone; others are as well. All there is to do now is go up.

 

-A toast to the women who we loved and thought we knew.. but.. that broke our hearts and showed their true selves!

Edited February 7, 2011 by BlindRage

[willowthewisp]

 

-A toast to the women who we loved and thought we knew.. but.. that broke our hearts and showed their true selves!

 

Don't waste your energy lifting your glass Blindrage, on a women who is not worth it!

 

Do you know what really enrages me? These women have men who love them and would do anything for them, who honoured them by marrying them in the first place and they throw it away like it's nothing. Some of us aren't lucky enough to have been honoured by marriage to the man we love, I was jilted after nearly 20 years together from high school. I didn't deserve it either. Forget about them, they aren't worth your energy.

[hensley258]

Hensley,

 

I know how you feel. Apparently, (as i do not know for sure if it is true, long story), my ex is now living with and engaged to a women he has known less than a year after leaving me after nearly 20 years with no warning right after we booked our wedding.

 

It's been almost 2 years since he left me and made me homeless to boot.

 

Know what though? Your W has not learnt anything, not dealt with anything and eventually due to this her relationship with OM will crumble. It will crumble because she has not learnt to deal with relationship problems (real or percieved on her part, don't know the facts of your marriage), but rather has choosen to deal with them by turning outside of the marriage. That is a receipe for disaster. Secondly, what kind of man goes with a married women? I'll tell you, one that will have no problem cheating on your w if and when the situation arises.

 

Besides all that, you need to focus on you now and what is good for you and your child. I know it's hard to not focus on them when what she has done is hurting you beyond description, but what made me realise I must focus on me is that I have no choice in his actions. I can't alter his decision, but I'll tell you one thing for certain, two years on I can see clearly that he is just one man in a world full of men and he is NOT a man that I would want to be with. The very fact that he treated me so badly when I did not deserve it and did not even try to work on anything first, is enough, now, looking back, for me to know I am better off without him. That's not to say my life is great and I would really like to meet someone to share my life with, but I would rather be single than with him, knowing now what he really is and is capable of.

 

May I suggest IC? I did not truely begin to feel better until I was able to talk it all through with someone who was able to offer me an alternative perspective. I spent 18 months blaming myself for what that S**t did TO me.

 

Thats exactly what kills me is after doing some investigation I found that she only knew this Guy 4 WEEKS before walking out the door. Just two days before leaving her attitude to me was "hey honey what do you want to do for dinner?" She went from 10 I love yous a day to bam! Just gone with this OM.

 

Now after about 3 months she has had several fights with this guy. I know because she always trys to call me (her Safety net) then the next day they make up and I am the ass hole again that gets treated cold.

 

I fell for that once and after that just said "hope you work it out with him."

Talk about rebound relationship.... 7 year marriage (most of it pretty good) Then Right to another man. This other man is also going thru a divorce! I'm no psychologist, but I have 10 grand that gives this relationship another 4 months max. By then I hope to have spent time alone finding my real self again and when she comes crying to me about being alone I dream of the day I can politly crush her to the core.

[YellowShark]

Thats exactly what kills me is after doing some investigation I found that she only knew this Guy 4 WEEKS before walking out the door.

 

She's in GIGs mode. (Grass is Greener)

 

Just two days before leaving her attitude to me was "hey honey what do you want to do for dinner?" She went from 10 I love yous a day to bam! Just gone with this OM.

 

Yup. "And the Oscar for Best Performance in a Marriage goes to.."

 

Now after about 3 months she has had several fights with this guy. I know because she always trys to call me (her Safety net) then the next day they make up and I am the ass hole again that gets treated cold.

 

Her new deal sounds positively dysfunctional already. But definitely don't take her calls. She has left. No longer your responsibility. Don't make someone a priority who only sees you as an option.

 

...7 year marriage (most of it pretty good) Then Right to another man. This other man is also going thru a divorce! I'm no psychologist, but I have 10 grand that gives this relationship another 4 months max.

 

It won't last. Sounds like they fight a lot already.

 

By then I hope to have spent time alone finding my real self again and when she comes crying to me about being alone I dream of the day I can politly crush her to the core.

 

You will crush her to the core if all she sees is happiness and contentment from you without her. And you will do that by finding yourself again.

 

Sure on the inside you're a mess, but time will take care of that. Meanwhile she want's out. Fine. She's out. No creepy stalker crap from you, no pity-parties for yourself, just blackhole her. Only calls regarding the daughter, period. No negotiations. Refuse to argue at all.

 

Give yourself time to regroup and you don't need her validation anymore. It's now all about you hensley258. Bet ya she'll be begging to come back at some point, so don't be weak. She has a lot of explaining and work to do before I'd ever let her back in.... if at all.

 

Good luck, all is not lost.

[wolvie111]

My friend I too know how you feel. It has been almost a year for me that my wife did the same to me. I still have hurt feelings as well. It isnt easy to over come these horrible feelings you feel. I have stayed strong for my son, that is who is number one to me. I also am far away from family and friends, but time slowly heals the pain. Listen, your wounds will heal but you will always remember the pain. You WILL recover, you will be happy again. My spirit was never broken, I kept the faith and still do that someone special will come my way. And if not, its ok, because I will not live my life with regret. Hang in there, losing your life for a low life scum bag is not worth it. Show your daughter why you are a great father. If you ever need anyone to talk to message me here or IM me on messenger [email protected].

[Steadfast]

You seem to have regressed significantly Hensley. This almost reads like a first post. Please explain what you were expecting of your lawyer and why the filing/serving didn't go the way you planned. To me, it seems your perception of what would happen and what actually did were different.

 

I warn you (again) that the desire to punish her is a dead end. No one expects you to like it, but there is a way to use your anger constructively. You seem envious of her ability to cheat, lie and break promises at your expense. You must learn that redemption takes time; you must realize that her eventual path will start high and end low, while the betrayed starts at the lowest point. This is important to know because it helps you until the pain fades. My biggest fear is your anger, hurt and self-absorption will do you in before you have a chance to recover from it.

 

Concerning reoccurring threats of suicide, my take is if this woman's inclusion in your life and family is that vital, it's clear to see why she isn't interested. Think about it; is the love of a cheating liar important enough to end your life? You seem incapable of realizing that she might be doing you a favor. Who wants to be married to an unloving cheater? Bad things happen to good people Hensley, and many of us do not have the luxury of choice in the matter. You have a daughter to raise and a life to live. Time to man up, quit bellyaching about your bad hand and accept it. The true test of character isn't measured when life is sunshine and roses.

 

Finally, I know you are upset about the OM spending time around your daughter. Since you can't tell the wife what to do and who to spend time with, you're going to have to deal with it...for the short amount of time he's around anyway. Be her father. Believe me when I tell you many of us have dealt with it. The better you handle, the better off your little girl will be. Do you understand? Dump the drama. This a-hole didn't 'take' anything from you. Your wife gave it to him. You may not realize the power of your own love.

 

So she doesn't love you anymore. So it was a shock and yeah, she shouldn't have done it. You have to lighten up and tighten your emotional belt. Happiness starts from the inside. It isn't provided by anyone else. Time to get right.

Edited February 7, 2011 by Steadfast

[Bluebelle38]

Really insightful post there, steadfast.

 

Going through a break-up myself (wasn't married or living together) but it hurts. Initially I was shocked and gutted. I tried to be angry but it just didnt come. I've read threads on here where people are so hurt that the bitterness of rejection seems to take over and encompass their entire lives.

 

How can that in any way be helpful? Walking around so full of anger is not helping anyone... least of all the dumpee.

 

It's natural to feel hurt and betrayed, but we dont have control over that. When we embark on a relationship there is always the (big) chance it will end in heartbreak.

 

I was reading over these boards last night and found a great quote. It has really made me think as it put into words how I have been dealing with my split, without even really knowing.

 

Hensley, this is for you:

 

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

[marqueemoon4]

You seem to have regressed significantly Hensley. This almost reads like a first post. Please explain what you were expecting of your lawyer and why the filing/serving didn't go the way you planned. To me, it seems your perception of what would happen and what actually did were different.

 

I warn you (again) that the desire to punish her is a dead end. No one expects you to like it, but there is a way to use your anger constructively. You seem envious of her ability to cheat, lie and break promises at your expense. You must learn that redemption takes time; you must realize that her eventual path will start high and end low, while the betrayed starts at the lowest point. This is important to know because it helps you until the pain fades. My biggest fear is your anger, hurt and self-absorption will do you in before you have a chance to recover from it.

 

Concerning reoccurring threats of suicide, my take is if this woman's inclusion in your life and family is that vital, it's clear to see why she isn't interested. Think about it; is the love of a cheating liar important enough to end your life? You seem incapable of realizing that she might be doing you a favor. Who wants to be married to an unloving cheater? Bad things happen to good people Hensley, and many of us do not have the luxury of choice in the matter. You have a daughter to raise and a life to live. Time to man up, quit bellyaching about your bad hand and accept it. The true test of character isn't measured when life is sunshine and roses.

 

Finally, I know you are upset about the OM spending time around your daughter. Since you can't tell the wife what to do and who to spend time with, you're going to have to deal with it...for the short amount of time he's around anyway. Be her father. Believe me when I tell you many of us have dealt with it. The better you handle, the better off your little girl will be. Do you understand? Dump the drama. This a-hole didn't 'take' anything from you. Your wife gave it to him. You may not realize the power of your own love.

 

So she doesn't love you anymore. So it was a shock and yeah, she shouldn't have done it. You have to lighten up and tighten your emotional belt. Happiness starts from the inside. It isn't provided by anyone else. Time to get right.

 

 

wow, this is so unbelievably rational... still I completely identify with what Hensley is feeling and going through. No one should have to deal with this type of nonsense.

[Steadfast]

... still I completely identify with what Hensley is feeling and going through. No one should have to deal with this type of nonsense.

 

That's the point. It all boils down to living the life we have, not obsessing over the life we planned. Life would be wonderful if bad things like this never happened, but reality shows us something different, doesn't it?

 

One must believe they have the power and strength to move on...even in the face of devastation. I lived through what Hensley is living through and it's no picnic. Yet, who I am now is far more capable than who I was then. Do I wish it never happened? Yes I do. Did I regress, fall back and have to start all over? Yes I did. It was because I loved her. When I finally let go and accepted that she did not, and would not feel the same, things began to improve. It's called dealing with it.

 

Humiliation is a humbling experience, but I have benefited greatly from being more humble. One thing is for sure, I certainly do not take love for granted anymore. Plus there is a whole, great big world of people who can benefit from the love and care I'm able to share with them now. Adults and children. If not for what my ex did, I would not have the chance to do so. Success is spinning something really bad into something truly loving and good. But first, you have to want it. The desire to live a full and meaningful life is key.