DenverBachelor Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 1. After a breakup, the more you want to get back with him or her, the less they'll want to get back with you. 2. After a breakup and many months or years later, when you least expect it, some ex will come out of the wood work and want to get back with you long after you've moved on. 3. The more you think your relationship is going great, the closer the breakup is on the horizon. 4. If you go NC, they'll contact you. If you break NC, they'll ignore you. If you're trying to heal, they'll give you conflicting messages or feelings. If you're trying to reconcile, they'll disappear. 5. If he or she says they love you to death and would never leave you, you better start planning for them to leave. 6. If they say there is nobody else, there's somebody else. 7. No matter what you do after a breakup, you'll do something wrong. 8. No matter what you do before a breakup, they'll think you did something wrong. 9. If he or she leaves you, it will always be right before a major exam, new job, moving, etc. They never leave you when you don't have some other major stress related life activity about to take place. 10. If you write them a letter and send it, you'll push them away. If you write them a letter and shelve it, they'll think you didn't really care to begin with. 11. The chances of them going psycho on you at some point is inversely proportional to how well you'll be able to cope with it. 12. The grass is always greener on the other side. When we're single, we want a relationship. When we're in a long-term relationship, we dream of being single. If we don't get to voluntarily make that choice, we're in for a world of pain. 13. For every thing they do say, they'll do three things you can't interpret. 14. When they break up with you, every text, e-mail or phone call they make to you just makes you more confused. They'll never come out and admit they miss you. 15. The day before you are finally healed after months in NC, you'll get a call from them. 16. The amount of effort, money and love you give to the relationship is inversely proportional to the odds of it working out in the long run. 17. Just when you think you've cleared the last hurdle, you'll trip over the next. 18. You'll never realize how much you took things for granted until they're gone. 19. You're always convinced you would be a better boyfriend or girlfriend to them AFTER the breakup. 20. **** happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Kaya Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Sad, but true. Makes me want to avoid relationships forever. Link to post Share on other sites
puppydog Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I chuckled after reading each one. Haha. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 7. No matter what you do after a breakup, you'll do something wrong. I want to blow this up and turn it into a poster. This always seems to happen!! Link to post Share on other sites
SushiOji Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 9. If he or she leaves you, it will always be right before a major exam, new job, moving, etc. They never leave you when you don't have some other major stress related life activity about to take place. This happened to me Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 21: The "It's not you, it's me" speech, and the "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" statement are the most frequently used excuses. They're also the least believable ones. Link to post Share on other sites
thatguy90 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 You have really hit it right on the head, great post, I have to say everything you mentioned basically i have done ... but I have to say this post has made my day, thank you for posting it. This has helped me understand things alot better. Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 #101: You'll finally have the blanket all to yourself and that's got to count for something:) Link to post Share on other sites
gp913 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 So true. This happened to me Happened to me too. I had just started a new full-time role at work that week. Luckily, my manager and people say I've been doing great work, though I can only imagine how much easier I could think without all of this! haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Joolie Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 These laws seem very true.... thanks for posting. Only thing I'd comment on is that we can choose to be above the law. That is, we can choose how we will respond to all of the above and not succumb to it, let it run over us, or let negative reactions rule. WE choose the course. Let **** happen. WE must stay focused. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 9. If he or she leaves you, it will always be right before a major exam, new job, moving, etc. They never leave you when you don't have some other major stress related life activity about to take place. Two days before the bar exam. That was fun. Link to post Share on other sites
LBM Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Gosh, too scared to keep tab on that one... Link to post Share on other sites
jms76 Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Dumped soon after I got laid off from work and started having anxiety issues. Number nine really struck a chord with me! Only thing is, after reading all these laws, sounds like we are all doomed no matter what? All relationships are going to fail? Not very comforting. Link to post Share on other sites
1life8love1trust Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Right Before the Holidays, but its not like she wanted to be stress free, she left me and two days later has another guy in her life. Three years down the toilet. Thanks for the Post. Link to post Share on other sites
condogal Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Hi, my question is...why is there this pattern??...why this game??...my guy is 33 and i am 35...6 years of this on and off crap!!...he never entirely lets me go!!...and it seems it's always me that has to pack and unpack and fall in the ruins of mild depression every time...drinking, finding some way to sleep...f- i'm fed up!!...why was i given this deal in life?!!...i'm such a real person that has a heart that's too big i guess...all i know is that the minute i'm strong and good...he comes back and wants to interupt my world again...and sure enough with his good words that juuuuust reel me in...bang, i'm hooked again!...hoping this time happily ever after???...freakin exhausting!!...love stinks! Link to post Share on other sites
Brightmoon Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) Condo Let him go once and for all. You may find peace that way. Denver I love the list. : ) Edited December 21, 2009 by Brightmoon Link to post Share on other sites
jms76 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Condogirl, You know what the definition of insanity is right? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I think that's a quote from either Einstein or Ben Franklin. There's a pattern because you let there be a pattern. For some reason, you are drawn to this guy's behavior. If you're aware of the problem, fix it! I know, easier said then done. That's why we are here to begin with:p Link to post Share on other sites
condogal Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Hi, well my real question here is...why does "HE" have this pattern with me??!! Link to post Share on other sites
jms76 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 CG, The problem with that question is that you will probably never know. Even if you point blank asked him, he would probably not know the answer himself. Much of our behavior is derived on a subconscious level so to understand him, would require him/you/whomever to be able to interpret what is going on at that level. Instead I would focus on you. You can only control you and for the most part, understand yourself. Christ, I sound like my mother. But in this case, she's right. Your guy could just as easily have this pattern with any number of other women. In other words it's not you, it's HIM! Just my two cents anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
condogal Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Hi JMS, thankyou for your responses btw...well as i know of his history, i'm the only one he's ever been drawn to time and time again...we were at the verge of maybe buying a house...he wanted children with me...he never hit that level with any other ex...i'm his 6 year on and off which his past relationships never passed the 1 and a half year mark...what's to say about this?...i know i should be working on me...and i am doing so...but i wish i could understand why with me...it never is really the end... Link to post Share on other sites
jms76 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 CG, I feel your pain..I really do! I cannot comment on why things did not go past the 1.5 year mark with his other ex's? All I know that this guy is causing you pain and heartache. The cycle has to end. I'm sure you don't want to feel like this the rest of your life. Wondering when he is going to leave, come back etc..etc. When people are faced with unknown variables in a stressful situation, we often create explanations that are not based on scientific reasoning. Sorry to get technical but it really is the best way to explain why you feel the way you do. You are rationalizing why you should take this abuse by telling yourself that he leaves other women in less than a year and a half, told you he wanted children, etc. I think in this case, his actions are definitely speaking much louder than his words. I'd like to hear more of your story. Do you have an original post about your situation so that we don't take over this thread? Link to post Share on other sites
condogal Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Wow, thanks JMS, you are really sweet for being concerned...it's so appreciated...yes my original post might startle you tho, and it's under break and breakups...."he did the inevitable...don't know how i'm feeling"...thankyou Jms, sincerely... Link to post Share on other sites
Brightmoon Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 ..... his past relationships never passed the 1 and a half year mark...what's to say about this?.......i wish i could understand why with me...it never is really the end... Condo I hear your pain and confusion and your need to have answers. You clearly love this guy. Let me ask you this: Why do you think you have made it past the 1.5 year mark? What do you think it's down to? Also, do you really want it to end? What do you want to ideally happen? What do you think needs to change for you to be happy with him? It's clearly not a matter of him coming back. That is not the answer that will end the torture you are feeling now. What do you want? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Good post! Although he DID admit he missed me, but it means f*** all. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 She will never admit she missed/misses me. But that's all bygones now. I'll never speak to her again. Otherwise, excellent post, well thought out, and definately a perfect depiction of it. I would also add: #22: No matter how hard you try to fix the problem, you'll fail, because the problem is them, and not you. Link to post Share on other sites
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