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Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 21st January 2019, 1:52 PM   #31
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@nolanola We weren't technically in a relationship. And I had declined being in one with him more than once.
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Always think he DOES NOT miss me and never will .
Now I'm confused. If he wanted a relationship & you rejected him more than once, did you really think he was going to stick around forever?

You don't know that he doesn't miss you but I think he finally got sick & tired of not being able to have you so he found his spine & walked away.

I'm sorry that you are hurting over this but do you understand that if you had maybe tried with him, that he'd still be in your life?

I take it back when I told you not to dwell on the "what ifs". It does sound like self reflection is in order here. You don't have to publicly share but you do need to get a handle on why you repeatedly pushed him away.
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Old 21st January 2019, 2:07 PM   #32
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<snip>
I take it back when I told you not to dwell on the "what ifs". It does sound like self reflection is in order here. You don't have to publicly share but you do need to get a handle on why you repeatedly pushed him away.
Thanks for making me feel better... not.

Shouldn't have shared on LS.
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Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 21st January 2019 at 3:05 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
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Old 21st January 2019, 2:16 PM   #33
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You have to share with somebody. I am trying to understand so that I can help you. I was not trying to rub salt in your wound but to help you process so that you don't make the same mistake next time.

Losing somebody out of your life sucks & it's painful but if you pushed the person out, . . .it's a bit different.

Do you want him back? Are you now open to a full on exclusive relationship with him & all that entails? Have you told him that? Is there a back story I'm missing?
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Old 21st January 2019, 5:59 PM   #34
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He's not coming back.

----------

@d0nnivain I may reply later. Also, is it okay if I pm you?
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Old 22nd January 2019, 12:16 AM   #35
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He was going to come to my city in Feb and had tickets booked. On the 9th Jan he said he couldn't wait to see me, he also said that same day that he was getting really excited to see me again. On the 20/21 Jan, it was over. He doesn't like me special. Both legitimately so. And he has developed feelings for someone else. Someone who is in a similar situation to him and he's received a lot of support.
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Old 22nd January 2019, 1:05 AM   #36
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It sucks!!!!!!!!!
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Old 22nd January 2019, 2:30 AM   #37
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Saw this on the NC thread, "The past is the past. You can not hold on to the things they have said or done, as that is part of the past. It doesn't matter if they said you are the love of their lives, it doesn't matter what endearments they have uttered ... you must go on with what they said at the time of break up. They don't want you to be a part of their lives for whatever reason ... remember that." - sportynut38
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Old 23rd January 2019, 9:26 PM   #38
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I'm going to the hairdresser's today, get straighten and trim.
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Old 24th January 2019, 9:19 AM   #39
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Good for you! Self care is important.
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Old 27th January 2019, 6:34 AM   #40
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I'm going camping soon and will be out of range for the internet, don't do anything fun without me.
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Old 29th January 2019, 12:11 AM   #41
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How long do you think the acute stage will last?
Its been 4 months and I still get sad and some days cry. I had a 4 year relationship. Experts say it could take up to 2 years
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Old 1st February 2019, 2:56 PM   #42
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The up 2 two years is really important to me. I have to know I will feel ok one day, and able to look back without feeling too much. 11 years with a soul mate. Feel cursed. Like Iím destined to be like Mrs Havisham in Great Expectations.

I read extremely unhelpful articles about half the time of the rele. Thatís 6 years. I couldnít survive 6 years like this I dint know what would happen.

So under two years is much more hopeful for me.
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Old 9th February 2019, 1:07 AM   #43
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Thanks(not) for not choosing me.
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Old 9th February 2019, 3:09 AM   #44
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Hi!

I am so sorry for what you are going thru. Break up are the absolute worst. I always wish there was something I could say to take away the pain, but instead I will send big hugs thru LS.

May you find some peace during this storm. Hugs.
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Old 9th February 2019, 6:56 PM   #45
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I think in some ways, I may still be affected although not actively grieving a long term relationship break-up almost 2 years ago. But the acute "I feel like absolute crap" stage does get better after a few months.
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