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Awkward situations with ex wife


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 3rd March 2019, 9:21 AM   #46
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People tend to not like it when boundaries are enforced. I don't know how long you were married to her, but I'm guessing it's been a very long time of her feeling that she can act or treat you a certain way and you will respond in a certain way. When you did something different she didn't like it because you took back some control. There is nothing wrong with what you've done in this situation. You don't owe her an explanation outside of saying that it's better for you to text about your daughter at this time. You don't have to tell her why and if she's upset about it, that's her problem.

I highly suspect that she's upset that she can't get the response from you and the support that she used to. As divorced parents, you guys have to be in some contact because of your daughter. But she's got this OM for support and she should not be trying to rely on you to help with things, support her, fix things, and so forth. She can ask him if she needs help. Some people are able to move on very easily after divorcing and to be friends. One of my family friends divorced her husband (he was cheating on her) and then became good friends with him and his other woman (who then became his wife)! But if you need to have space, that's ok and perfectly acceptable. You don't owe her anything because you guys were married. Keep the text messages civil and to the point.

I think you're doing really well.
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Old 3rd March 2019, 5:21 PM   #47
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Finding my way, Nola, Marc, thank you again.
I needed your affirmations.

BTW, she admitted involuntarily that she and the OM are in permanent brake-up and reconcile cycle.
I think she is addicted to that man, but cannot rely on him. Though she has her family and their financial power.

Anyway, I believe that NS works
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Old 3rd March 2019, 5:50 PM   #48
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Well, even if she'd not with that OM, she's surely dating different people, so you need to give up on the hope that she's not and just accept it. That is your daughter, and you should help with her. And if you don't have a place to do it, then her place is where to do it. All you can do is ask your ex not to bring any of her men around and let her know you don't want to encounter her with them. But she's gone. And you need to help with your daughter, not only do it if you think she's not dating!
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Old 3rd March 2019, 6:16 PM   #49
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Yeah, she is gone. However, I suspect that if Nukem is true to his words about no longer being her emotional leaning post she will maneuver herself back into his good graces, using whatever it takes. She really seems like a very entitled and manipulative woman.
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Old 3rd March 2019, 6:44 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nukem View Post
Finding my way, Nola, Marc, thank you again.
I needed your affirmations.

BTW, she admitted involuntarily that she and the OM are in permanent brake-up and reconcile cycle.
I think she is addicted to that man, but cannot rely on him. Though she has her family and their financial power.

Anyway, I believe that NS works
Her words don't and never did mean a thing. You can never trust a cheater.

She is a typical cake eater. No contact means no contact. It only works if you fully apply it.

Drop any fantasy of her coming back and being the wonderful person you want her to be and wasted 6 long years on.

Life is very short. Start living it.
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Old 3rd March 2019, 6:46 PM   #51
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Reflect back over the last 6 years. What have you gotten out of that?

Hopefully you've learned. If not you'll waste even more of your life on this foolish errand.
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Old 4th March 2019, 2:56 AM   #52
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Hey DKT, it was useful for me to know that her connection with him is not working properly because it means that her temper is worsening and he is not so better than me.
7 years I was living with the guilt that I was abusive husband and absent father. And now she has something worse.

Marc, during last years I started riding supersport bike, I had also supermoto and naked bikes. Riding is like fully living in the now .
I also remodeled my body, I aim to reduce body fat below 10%. I work out in the gym everyday, and running 100m and 200m sprints in the weekends, often with daughter.
In the autumn I started a master degree program.

Those foolish errands never interfere my goals In fact she almost stopped asking me during the last year, she was rarely calling for small things just to continue the illusion that she wasn't dating.
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Old 4th March 2019, 3:07 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by preraph View Post
And you need to help with your daughter, not only do it if you think she's not dating!
I've never stopped helping.
It was insulting and a little bit of shock that after so many years she reconciled with that guy. Later I got that their connection is weird and they permanently brake up and reconcile.

Also my daughter never talked about them, she has been instructed so.
I've never asked her and she never talked. Even now daughter thinks that there is no situation and I react weirdly that I want NC.
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Old 4th March 2019, 3:22 AM   #54
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Their relationship maybe on and off but it never really ended.

Besides you can't trust anything your X tells you.

Accept reality. It's who she is.
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Old 9th March 2019, 10:09 PM   #55
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10 days NC, no text, no calls. Just several seconds visual contact while I was waiting our daughter in front of her home.
Should I block her in FB or just unfriend her? I unfollowed her months ago.
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