Fulfilment Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 My ex-gf and I dated for two years and had a mutual, amicable breakup this past February. We based it off of communication problems in our relationship. Two weeks later I realized I was making a mistake and attempted to get her back (without reading anything about it and of course went about it the wrong way) by trying to use logic over emotion. I listed all the reasons things went wrong and laid out a plan for how to fix them going forward. Yeah we all know that never works. She turned me down and said her mind was "elsewhere." But also said she can't do it "right now" so of course there is hope for the future or is that false hope? She said she needed to date other guys to gain a perspective and be able to compare others to who she eventually ends up with, but that may be a case of the grass is always greener? When I last saw her she said she "misses me," I could tell by her smiling and actions she still had feelings. It was tough but I have maintained no contact since then. At week 5 into no contact she sent me a text message saying "Did u see me???" I was out of town when she sent it so there is no way she actually saw me. I didn't want to break no contact and hurt my healing process so I didn't respond, it also might have been an attempt to get attention/mess with my mind so I didn't want to give her that satisfaction. She is careful with her texts so I am very confident that was not an accident sent to me. Do you think that text was an attempt for attention? I of course have suffered a lot of grieving and healing since the breakup. I have also been dating to help move on, gain perspective, and have enjoyed meeting some great girls. Now next week will be two months of no contact and I am contemplating sending a text to see how she is doing. I was thinking of framing it in a sense of a response to her last text three weeks ago just acknowledging that I was out of town. Is that a good idea? Technically she was the one to break no contact by sending me that text. As of right now I would say I am "mostly" healed, not emotional about it like I used to be. I guess I would lean toward wanting to reconcile but have made much progress and can accept a rejection with much less pain. She likely will not send another text, knowing her she was probably hurt that I didn't respond before. How do I go about reaching out? Is it a good idea? Is reconciliation a possibility? Like I said we ended on good terms, I believe the problems we had are workable and am able to accept if she doesn't. I just want to know everyone's thoughts on how they feel this should be approached.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Ill say only this... If you are OK with getting rejected and feel like if you do you will set back the progress you made in processing the relationship, then sure, why not..Go ahead and do it. Just assume you will be rejected. because in reality you're chances are 99% that you WILL be rejected. "Measure twice-cut once", as the saying goes.... TFOY
HumptyDumpty Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 You want to throw a breadcrumb? C'mon, seriously, pigeons could use them better Do it only when you are over her. And I guess you're obviously not. Why care who she's shagging now? There's absolutely no point asking "how she is doing". Either contact her to get seriously back together if she wants to or leave it. The rest is just a waste of time for you and for her...
Author Fulfilment Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 Thank you for the responses. I am almost healed, but I worry waiting longer than two months might hurt chances to reconcile. I am not considering sending a "hey how are you" text but more so slowly initiate contact and meetings to show actual change before asking anything. I think it would give me a better feel for if its what I really want as well.
Am4Real Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Read this one again, especially the last sentence: LINK
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