hidden_ua Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 hey all! to cut long story short, here is the link of my story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/374749-i-am-problem anyways, on 19th march we had a terrible fight but on 20th i cleared everything and silently left. then on 25th march she messaged "hey hru? sup?" and after thinking a lot i replied i am fine etc. and we exchanged few texts and she said that she messaged because if she didn't then i'll complaint that if i didn't messaged (as i was the one who always messaged her) you didn't and gave " " this emotion which was ironic i guess but then she said just wanted to know that how you feeling and end. next day i messaged her good morning as i thought she messaged so should i. well, couldn't stop my self so we texted more from 26th till 31st which she often avoids. anyways, on 31st night i planned that i shouldn't talk to her as this will only make me feel good when we are talking so keeping this in mind i sent her a at midnight and decided not to talk to her more so no good morning etc. but the next day (i.e 1st april), round about 7pm she messaged me that are you at home? i thought that she must be in problem so i instantly said yes, is there any problem? she said can you please tell me the score of the match going on etc? i said sure and then replied her the score. again, she made me weak and we kinda started texting again but i seriously want to stay away from her because i am being hurt. i can't tell this to her openly because then for the rest of life she'll blame me that you left me, not me etc. i bought a gift for her which i'll be sending her to her workplace as a surprise just as a SILENT goodbye in a day or two. please help me what to do?
Author hidden_ua Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 in simple words, whenever i go NC she messages me up. is it that she cares or just messages me for the sake of i message her and only then she replies. is she trying to make me feel guilty or what? really confused
TaraMaiden Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 One: Don't send the gift. Just absolutely DO NOT. Two: Read the No Contact Guide (updated 2013) in my signature, and do totally EVERYTHING it instructs you to do (first post). Three: Read the remainder of the thread because it's made up of posts from shredded hearts who wanted to respond/stay in contact/try again. Really, the only way to help you - is to encourage you to help yourself. We can all throw the best advice going, at you. Advice we know, completely, for sure, for sure - 100% works. All of it is worth absolutely diddly-squat - if you yourself do not follow it and implement it.
Author hidden_ua Posted April 21, 2013 Author Posted April 21, 2013 (edited) well, i read your reply today but guess what, i sent her the gift and she was surprised and really liked it. i asked her now what am i getting (in a friendly way) so she said "i'll think lol". anyways, on 19th (till 23rd) of this month she had to leave for 5-day course where cellphones weren't allowed, therefore, on 17th i asked her to spend time together till the time you leave. first she said i have to prepare myself etc. but then she said fine. we exchanged a hell of messages on 17th and 18th. before sleeping at midnight (which was then 19th) i said we should sleep now as you have to leave she said that would be better. on 19th, i messaged her morning and after some time she replied morning as well. i knew that she was studying (as she had to leave at 1pm) so i told her that even i am studying for my exams so we can talk and study. she agreed. we talked a bit and then she said then i am gonna get ready. i replied do let me know when you are leaving. well after an hour she just messsage m going and i replied take care best wishes etc etc. but no reply. well again, i sent her the same message (thinking maybe it wasn't sent due to some network problem) but no reply. i called her but her cellphone was off i.e she messaged that she is leaving and just left *Poofff!!! so, the question is am i asking to much from her or what? or i wans't clear enough to when i asked her let me know when you leaving (as she just messaged and poofff gone). what should be done? SHE IS GIVING MIX SIGNALS ALL THE TIME. 2-3 days we talk and talk and then she is gone just like that for some time. should i give her some space? thanks in advance Edited April 21, 2013 by hidden_ua
Weathergirl Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Trust me - I broke NC numerous times and I regret it. I made excuses to stay in touch, sent stuff to his house, was his fallback, and spent far too much time waiting around for his texts. Here I am 14 months later back to the beginning again. I wish I'd gone NC months ago.
Am4Real Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Did you not read Tara's post and understand it? Did you not read the guide she pointed you too? Did you not read any of the other posts in the thread about the perils of LC and what happens? Apparently not. Yet you're back in this thread asking the exact questions her post and references will help you understand. Go read them again, absorb them, then come back to this thread and ask any question you want about the benefits of LEAVING YOUR EX ALONE and I mean alone, in a process called NO CONTACT. well, i read your reply today but guess what, i sent her the gift and she was surprised and really liked it. i asked her now what am i getting (in a friendly way) so she said "i'll think lol". anyways, on 19th (till 23rd) of this month she had to leave for 5-day course where cellphones weren't allowed, therefore, on 17th i asked her to spend time together till the time you leave. first she said i have to prepare myself etc. but then she said fine. we exchanged a hell of messages on 17th and 18th. before sleeping at midnight (which was then 19th) i said we should sleep now as you have to leave she said that would be better. on 19th, i messaged her morning and after some time she replied morning as well. i knew that she was studying (as she had to leave at 1pm) so i told her that even i am studying for my exams so we can talk and study. she agreed. we talked a bit and then she said then i am gonna get ready. i replied do let me know when you are leaving. well after an hour she just messsage m going and i replied take care best wishes etc etc. but no reply. well again, i sent her the same message (thinking maybe it wasn't sent due to some network problem) but no reply. i called her but her cellphone was off i.e she messaged that she is leaving and just left *Poofff!!! so, the question is am i asking to much from her or what? or i wans't clear enough to when i asked her let me know when you leaving (as she just messaged and poofff gone). what should be done? SHE IS GIVING MIX SIGNALS ALL THE TIME. 2-3 days we talk and talk and then she is gone just like that for some time. should i give her some space? thanks in advance
TaraMaiden Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 well, i read your reply today but guess what, i sent her the gift and she was surprised and really liked it. i asked her now what am i getting (in a friendly way) so she said "i'll think lol". anyways, on 19th (till 23rd) of this month she had to leave for 5-day course where cellphones weren't allowed, therefore, on 17th i asked her to spend time together till the time you leave. first she said i have to prepare myself etc. but then she said fine. we exchanged a hell of messages on 17th and 18th. before sleeping at midnight (which was then 19th) i said we should sleep now as you have to leave she said that would be better. on 19th, i messaged her morning and after some time she replied morning as well. i knew that she was studying (as she had to leave at 1pm) so i told her that even i am studying for my exams so we can talk and study. she agreed. we talked a bit and then she said then i am gonna get ready. i replied do let me know when you are leaving. well after an hour she just messsage m going and i replied take care best wishes etc etc. but no reply. well again, i sent her the same message (thinking maybe it wasn't sent due to some network problem) but no reply. i called her but her cellphone was off i.e she messaged that she is leaving and just left *Poofff!!! so, the question is am i asking to much from her or what? or i wans't clear enough to when i asked her let me know when you leaving (as she just messaged and poofff gone). what should be done? SHE IS GIVING MIX SIGNALS ALL THE TIME. 2-3 days we talk and talk and then she is gone just like that for some time. should i give her some space? thanks in advance O-KAY.... Let - Me - state - this -A-GAIN, - as - you - obviously - didn't - understand - it - the - FIRST TIME: One: Read the No Contact Guide (updated 2013) in my signature, and do totally EVERYTHING it instructs you to do (first post). Two: Read the remainder of the thread because it's made up of posts from shredded hearts who wanted to respond/stay in contact/try again. Really, the only way to help you - is to encourage you to help yourself. We can all throw the best advice going, at you. Advice we know, completely, for sure, for sure - 100% works. All of it is worth absolutely diddly-squat - if you yourself do not follow it and implement it. I missed out the bit about sending the gift because you evidently failed to understand that. I wouldn't expect too much by way of return by the way. The guide isn't some pretty little essay rustled up one rainy afternoon in half an hour to give you something to read, while you wait for your fingernails to dry. It's a Guide that has been refined, added to, modified and carefully considered for anyone who has been dumped. I thought that was you. Honestly, you acted like some simpering little puppy. And now you're 'confused' again? She doesn't care enough about you to pay attention to you when you want her to. She just wants you to pay attention to her - when SHE wants you to!! I'm sorry, but people like you make me so mad. You're so deep into doormat mode, I'm not sure how long it will take for you to 'get' you're a walk-over, and get the hell out of this situation. You sound pretty ridiculous, man. Sorry, but you do.
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