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Blocked by ex on everything


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 15th April 2017, 1:43 PM   #1
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Blocked by ex on everything

Hi guys,

Just a bit of history to the story; this girl and I were together for 18 months and our relationship was amazing. We loved each other a lot and there was some fighting but it was really good. We had a silly argument and ended up breaking up and I didn't appreciate at the time what we had. She wanted to get back together but I didn't, so we stayed apart. This is about a year and a half ago. T

After a year of the breakup, I realised I really miss her and decided to get back with her. We had some long chats, and she decided she really loved me but had exams coming up so wants to be just friends till after exams and then we can get back together. So I was like sure.

However a few weeks ago, at a party at which she also was; I ended up taking a girl home. She was understandably not very happy. I was very drunk and not thinking straight and really regret it. I really apologised to her. She wouldn't accept it and said she never wants to hear from me again and that I'm a cold hearted liar and a scumbag. Blocked me off everything. Stupidly I kept messaging her and she in the end said she never wants to hear from me again .

I really love this girl, we were perfect together and I really regret what I did. I really want her back and am willing to do anything, but it seems like there may not be much hope. I haven't contacted her for a couple of weeks now.

Should I just give up? She has exams coming up that I was helping her prepare for, I was the year above her at uni. Obviously can't help her anymore, but was considering sending her a good luck card and some flowers before her exam just because I do care. Would this be a bad idea
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Old 15th April 2017, 2:04 PM   #2
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To be fair, she did say that she would likely continue seeing you AFTER exams and you seemed have shot yourself in the foot when you went to that party. Stop messaging her, don't send flowers, don't send her the card. Let her breathe, give her some space. If she unblocks you give her some MORE time. It's likely that she may never unblock you though so now you have to lay in the bed that you made and try to move on.
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Old 15th April 2017, 2:14 PM   #3
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To be fair, she did say that she would likely continue seeing you AFTER exams and you seemed have shot yourself in the foot when you went to that party. Stop messaging her, don't send flowers, don't send her the card. Let her breathe, give her some space. If she unblocks you give her some MORE time. It's likely that she may never unblock you though so now you have to lay in the bed that you made and try to move on.
Yes I realise, not my finest moment for sure. However technically it wasn't cheating, but I completely understand her anger and I do feel a lot of guilt. I am just finding it hard to contemplate never contacting her again, as she spoke about getting married and stuff in the future when we were together; and she's a girl I can defo see myself marrying. I feel like not contacting her is just giving up when I should be fighting to get her back.
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Old 15th April 2017, 2:18 PM   #4
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I'm sorry but read the threads on here.

Most people have a story about being messed around by an ex and you are that ex.

The selfish one who doesn't think about the other persons feelings and only what they want.

It took you a year to realize you missed her? The poor lass was probably just about over you then you came back into her life and filled her with hope again only to break her heart by sleeping with someone else.

Yes you were not official but sleeping with someone else while trying to reconcile a relationship hardly shows what a good honest and loyal person you are.

Personally I think you have blown it. I don't think the flowers and card is a bad idea but after that give the girl space, you have said all you can to her by the sounds of it.
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Old 15th April 2017, 2:41 PM   #5
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I'm sorry but read the threads on here.

Most people have a story about being messed around by an ex and you are that ex.

The selfish one who doesn't think about the other persons feelings and only what they want.

It took you a year to realize you missed her? The poor lass was probably just about over you then you came back into her life and filled her with hope again only to break her heart by sleeping with someone else.

Yes you were not official but sleeping with someone else while trying to reconcile a relationship hardly shows what a good honest and loyal person you are.

Personally I think you have blown it. I don't think the flowers and card is a bad idea but after that give the girl space, you have said all you can to her by the sounds of it.
Yes I realise how bad I have acted in this whole situation though I do genuinely care for her, and it doesn't feel great to be that kind of person; don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself.
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Old 15th April 2017, 3:12 PM   #6
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Staying apart is probably the best thing for you. Put her in the rear view mirror & get on with your life.
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Old 15th April 2017, 4:27 PM   #7
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i'm not sure you blew it. don't give up. send her the card. wish her luck with the exams and tell her you will leave her alone until they are out of the way but that you would like a chance to speak to her after.

In my experience you sleeping with another girl is perfectly normal behaviour, you weren't in a relationship with the ex. she wanted to be friends. don't let her guilt trip you into thinking you did something wrong.

"You can't do right for doing wrong" - my friends dad stormed out the house one day when we were kids muttering this and I never knew what it meant, until I met my ex!
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Old 16th April 2017, 2:56 AM   #8
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No way dude he blew it.

Like he's not wanted to fix stuff and stick around when he had her, she's tried to keep him in her life and he's wanted none of it.

He's chased after her again a year later supposedly in love with her and she's quite sensibly set some evaluation time to gauge how serious his feelings are and if she can trust him with her heart again after he rejected it and broke it last time.

And then he took a chick home for sex in front of her. After confessing these supposed feelings. Which isn't something that happens in an instant so he was likely also flirting and on the pull in front of her too.

Omg this poor girl. He's hurt her horribly more than once. The blocking is to remove him from her world because it hurts. All that rejection and emotional face slaps about her importance and desirability to him. It actually doesn't matter at this point if she does have feelings for him because she doesn't believe his for her are anything much and she certainly doesn't trust him.


Like where is this going to go even if she lets him back in? A relationship with no trust and potentially lots of reasusrsmce or jealousy or fights because of it with a guy who isn't reliable or consistent and can't keep it in his pants? They are in college right not married with kids, what's the benefit for her here, she's got time to find someone who's capable of loving her enough not to leave in the first place let alone use alchohol as an excuse for carrying on with other women in front of her?

Please just leave her alone OP. You aren't good for her and I think there's a decent chance she's decided that too. I hope

Last edited by EmilyJane; 16th April 2017 at 3:07 AM..
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Old 16th April 2017, 4:29 AM   #9
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No way dude he blew it.

Like he's not wanted to fix stuff and stick around when he had her, she's tried to keep him in her life and he's wanted none of it.

He's chased after her again a year later supposedly in love with her and she's quite sensibly set some evaluation time to gauge how serious his feelings are and if she can trust him with her heart again after he rejected it and broke it last time.

And then he took a chick home for sex in front of her. After confessing these supposed feelings. Which isn't something that happens in an instant so he was likely also flirting and on the pull in front of her too.

Omg this poor girl. He's hurt her horribly more than once. The blocking is to remove him from her world because it hurts. All that rejection and emotional face slaps about her importance and desirability to him. It actually doesn't matter at this point if she does have feelings for him because she doesn't believe his for her are anything much and she certainly doesn't trust him.


Like where is this going to go even if she lets him back in? A relationship with no trust and potentially lots of reasusrsmce or jealousy or fights because of it with a guy who isn't reliable or consistent and can't keep it in his pants? They are in college right not married with kids, what's the benefit for her here, she's got time to find someone who's capable of loving her enough not to leave in the first place let alone use alchohol as an excuse for carrying on with other women in front of her?

Please just leave her alone OP. You aren't good for her and I think there's a decent chance she's decided that too. I hope
The breakup was mutual and it came after I put in a lot of effort for the relationship. Even she will admit to that, I fought really hard to keep us together but we ended up stupidly breaking up.

Yes I acted like a complete moron, but I don't think you can simplify things and say I don't love her enough. i have proved my love to her many times over the years, and even over these past 6 months since we restarted talking. Sleeping with a girl while we are friends, is incredibly disrespectful but it doesn't show that I don't love her. I know that I do love her.

You are quite right though, she probably has decided that I'm no good for her and I don't blame her. I'm still hopeful she'll give me one more chance, I know I can make things right.
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Old 16th April 2017, 4:41 AM   #10
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I know on paper he blew it but in love people hardly ever think with their heads! How many times have you seen women and men going back when they know they shouldn't? I'm not saying it will work out for both of them but I think a lot of women want their man to be a man and that's the sort of thing men do.
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Old 16th April 2017, 4:43 AM   #11
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Also thank you for all your replies. I fully realise how I badly I've acted in the whole scenario. Even though it's not actually a break up, I am feeling the worst I've ever felt in my life. I really feel terrible for the way I have treated her, maybe letting go would make me feel better so I can start getting over it?

I just don't want to give up without giving it a proper chance. I wanted to get back together with her because we both knew we could sort out the issues from the first time really easily, it's depressing that we'll never have the chance to do that thanks to my silliness. Despite the odds being against me, I really hope she gives me one last undeserved chance
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Old 16th April 2017, 5:24 AM   #12
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If you truly love her and believe you will treat her properly then send the flowers and tell her you will give her space until after the exams and see how she feels about things after that.

To be honest you probably do still have a chance, it just depends on how strong headed she is I guess.

You have came on a forum where most people hurting are the ones on the opposite end of the stick so you can probably understand some of the comments you have received here.
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Old 16th April 2017, 5:47 PM   #13
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If you truly love her and believe you will treat her properly then send the flowers and tell her you will give her space until after the exams and see how she feels about things after that.

To be honest you probably do still have a chance, it just depends on how strong headed she is I guess.

You have came on a forum where most people hurting are the ones on the opposite end of the stick so you can probably understand some of the comments you have received here.
Yea the comments are perfectly acceptable, didn't expect any sympathy haha. Thanks for your reply though, gives me a tiny bit of optimism that there is a tiny chance
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Old 16th April 2017, 9:05 PM   #14
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Hi guys,

Just a bit of history to the story; this girl and I were together for 18 months and our relationship was amazing. We loved each other a lot and there was some fighting but it was really good. We had a silly argument and ended up breaking up and I didn't appreciate at the time what we had. She wanted to get back together but I didn't, so we stayed apart. This is about a year and a half ago. T

After a year of the breakup, I realised I really miss her and decided to get back with her. We had some long chats, and she decided she really loved me but had exams coming up so wants to be just friends till after exams and then we can get back together. So I was like sure.

However a few weeks ago, at a party at which she also was; I ended up taking a girl home. She was understandably not very happy. I was very drunk and not thinking straight and really regret it. I really apologised to her. She wouldn't accept it and said she never wants to hear from me again and that I'm a cold hearted liar and a scumbag. Blocked me off everything. Stupidly I kept messaging her and she in the end said she never wants to hear from me again .

I really love this girl, we were perfect together and I really regret what I did. I really want her back and am willing to do anything, but it seems like there may not be much hope. I haven't contacted her for a couple of weeks now.

Should I just give up? She has exams coming up that I was helping her prepare for, I was the year above her at uni. Obviously can't help her anymore, but was considering sending her a good luck card and some flowers before her exam just because I do care. Would this be a bad idea
U had another shot wth her after breaking her heart damm dude and she sounds like a good girl too...looks like u may hav sabotaged it. If u might wss her I would have trust issues taking u back. It's true u haven't cheated but part or getting back wth her is demenstruating to her that u r dead on serious about reconciling not sleeping wth som chick that by the looks of it meant nothing to u. U hav a big lesson to learn hear it's called discipline
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Old 17th April 2017, 5:15 AM   #15
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U had another shot wth her after breaking her heart damm dude and she sounds like a good girl too...looks like u may hav sabotaged it. If u might wss her I would have trust issues taking u back. It's true u haven't cheated but part or getting back wth her is demenstruating to her that u r dead on serious about reconciling not sleeping wth som chick that by the looks of it meant nothing to u. U hav a big lesson to learn hear it's called discipline
I know right, I don't know what I was thinking that night. I'm definitely paying the price for it now though. No word to describe the pain, made worse because I know I've only got myself to blame.

I've quit drinking and partying for good , as nothing good ever comes from it. I don't know if that'll help or not but I'm willing to do anything at this point
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